Heartbeat

by Ellis, Tara

  She shushed me quickly and turned the volume up on the TV. I looked at it and it was some dude on there talking about his wife’s murder. And although she’d just shushed the hell out of me, I still asked, “You know that nigga?”

  “Yeah, that’s Lake’s baby daddy.”

  Lake

  I’d been avoiding the hell out of Denise. I wanted to forget I ever knew her crazy ass. Or what she’d done…what we’d done. Guilt ate at me every second of every day. I couldn’t sleep, I could barely eat. I was paranoid, constantly looking out the window expecting the cops to pull up at my door at any moment.

  I tried to park my car far away from my door so Denise wouldn’t know that I was home, but she still managed to knock on my door at least twice a week. I hated looking at her now. Every time I looked at her all I could see was what she did to Greg’s wife.

  I hadn’t heard from Greg, but I didn’t expect to. I wanted to distance myself from his ass, too. I didn’t want the cops to know anything about me. I didn’t need them to know he was having an affair with me. I would become their number one suspect! I’d bit my nails to the quick with all the worrying I was doing. And it didn’t help that Destiny seemed to be extremely cranky these days. Between my worrying and her endless crying, I thought I was going to lose my got-damn mind!

  A knock on my door caused me to almost jump out of my skin. I ran to the door and looked out the peephole. It was Kesha and Charlie. I debated answering it before I finally opened the door.

  I expected them both to tell me how I looked like shit. Instead they both took me in their arms.

  “Oh, Lake!” Charlie said. She pulled away from me and looked at me like she was trying to read me. I didn’t like that shit, it made me nervous.

  “Oh my God, Lake! We heard about Greg. He was married?” Kesha said.

  They both invited themselves into my apartment. I took a deep breath preparing myself for the interrogation they were about to give me. I had to get myself together. If I could fool Kesha and Charlie, then I could do the same when the cops came knocking at my door. I knew it was only a matter of time before they came knocking.

  I burst into a fit of forced tears. “I seen him on the news talking about his wife’s murder. I didn’t even know he was married!”

  They both looked at me with sympathy oozing out of their eyes and I was glad I never divulged that bit of information to them. Charlie took my hand inside of hers and squeezed it.

  “This is so crazy, Lake! I seen the picture of his wife on TV and it’s the same woman I saw outside the hospital the day you had Destiny.”

  I looked at her like she was crazy. “You seen her at the hospital?”

  She dropped her eyes. “I didn’t think nothing of it, really. I seen them arguing outside, but I didn’t know who she was. I damn sure didn’t think she was his wife!”

  My mind started racing. I wondered who else saw them arguing outside of the hospital that same day. Could that be tied back to me? I felt my palms go sweaty so I pulled my hand from Charlie’s and wiped it on my pants.

  “Do you think he killed her?” Kesha asked.

  My eyes bulged. I hadn’t thought the cops would make Greg a suspect. My mind was racing so fast I could barely collect the thoughts.

  “Harris told me that when a wife is killed, the spouse is always the number one suspect,” Kesha continued.

  Sweat collected under my arms and suddenly it was too hot in the apartment. Kesha was still dealing with that cop. And for some reason that worried me.

  “What else did Harris say?” I wanted to know.

  She shrugged, “It isn’t his case, but he was just telling me that the cops are going to come hard on Greg. And once they find out about you and Destiny, Lake…you’re going to have to prepare yourself cause they’re going to come at you like you did it.”

  Her words rang in my ear like a loud bell. I couldn’t stop the echo of her words from hammering inside of my head. I never thought I could hate someone as much as I hated Denise right now. How in the world had I let her crazy ass get me involved in some shit like this?

  “You’ll be okay. Cause you didn’t have shit to do with this,” Charlie said. “You didn’t even know he was married!”

  I looked at her. She sounded so convinced of my innocence, but she had no idea.

  “Do your parents know?” Kesha asked.

  I shook my head. I was surprised they hadn’t heard about it. It was all over the damn news. I knew they didn’t know because they would have been blowing up my phone, or would have been by my apartment by now. I thought back to the last time I talked to my parents. The conversation wasn’t nice. I figured they were still upset at me about that because they hadn’t reached out to me since. But I would need them, or at least their money, for a lawyer whenever the cops came for me.

  “Do you think I’ll need a lawyer?” I asked.

  Charlie waved off my concern with her hand. “Girl, no. You haven’t done shit.”

  I wished I could have been as confident as Charlie, but I knew the truth. Who knew what kind of evidence Denise left behind? I watched all those crime TV shows and criminals always left something behind. I bit my bottom lip and tears raced down my face at the thought of me spending the rest of my life in prison.

  “Don’t cry, Lake. You didn’t know who you were dealing with. Let’s just thank God he didn’t hurt you.”

  I looked at Kesha after she said that. She was wrong though. Greg had hurt me. He’d broke my heart completely. But his wife didn’t deserve to die.

  “They gon’ give his ass the electric chair,” Kesha said.

  “Harris told you that?” I sat upright in the chair.

  She shook her head. “Naw, but you know Texas don’t play that shit.”

  Her word sunk in like quicksand. Greg was going to get the death penalty for a crime he hadn’t even committed. I didn’t feel bad though. He deserved to die for what he did to me and his daughter. Then it hit me; that was Denise’s plan the whole time. She’d convinced me that we had to make Greg pay. At the time, I hadn’t understood how going after his wife would hurt him.

  “He hasn’t been arrested though,” I said. I looked directly at Kesha. She had the inside scoop since she was dating that cop. She must have known they were about to arrest Greg since she was already talking about him getting the death penalty.

  “Oh, it’s coming,” she said.

  I sighed and it felt like years of stress was lifted off me. Charlie got up and went to get Destiny. I just sat there feeling better than I’d felt in days…hell, weeks, really. Then a thought ran across my mind that caused the familiar feeling of panic to run through my body. “Kesha, did you tell Harris about me?”

  She shook her head. “Naw, that ain’t my place. And besides, it isn’t even his case.”

  Relief washed over me again.

  “I do think you should go to the police station and let them know,” Charlie said. She was standing over me rocking Destiny in her arms. “It will look better if you let them know about you rather than them finding out about you.”

  I looked at her like she’d just lost her damn mind. Why would I give the cops another suspect when they were ready to charge Greg’s ass!

  “I ain’t doin’ that!” I yelled.

  “No, she’s right,” Kesha said. “It will look hella’ suspicious if they find out about you rather than you just letting them know you were involved with that son of a bitch.”

  I ran their suggestion through my mind for what seemed like a hundred times and it still didn’t feel right.

  “You ain’t got nothing to worry about,” Charlie said before squeezing my shoulder. “You ain’t did nothing.”

  I looked her in her eyes and nodded.

  ❤❤❤❤❤

  “I don’t know, Lake,” Denise said. She was giving me a look that I couldn’t read. “I mean, if they don’t know nothing about you why should you put yourself in the middle of all of this?”

  I wanted to
slap her. It was her fault I was in the middle of this! I didn’t know what to do. I was so scared that my next move would be my last.

  “Kesha and Charlie said it will look suspicious if I don’t say nothing,” I said.

  Her face curled in anger. “Fuck Kesha and Charlie! What do those judgmental ass bitches know? It ain’t their asses on the line.”

  “Kesha is dating a cop,” I blurted.

  Denise’s eyes bulged. “She told him about you?”

  I shook my head. “No, but she has the inside scoop and if she thinks it’s better for me to go down to that station, I’m sure that’s what I need to do. That nigga be telling her stuff about cases and stuff so maybe she knows what she’s talking about.”

  Denise looked like she was considering the idea but she didn’t say anything.

  “She also said they’re about to arrest Greg.”

  That got Denise to smiling. “See, I told you we was gonna get that nigga!”

  I smiled too. I knew it was wrong as hell what we’d done but seeing as though Greg was going to be paying for it, made it seem not so bad.

  “So, what you gonna say when you go down to that police station?”

  Kesha

  I was on edge since my court date with Darnel was nearing. Harris spent as much time as he could with me which he thought was making me feel safe. But it was really only scaring the shit out of me. It let me know that I had something to be afraid of. I found myself watching my back every time I was outside of my condo alone. I didn’t like feeling like someone was ready to jump out of the bushes at any moment.

  I pulled back into the parking lot of the drug store ready to finish my shift so I could start my three day weekend. When I walked into the pharmacy center, everyone was looking at me and giggling. I checked a mirror as I passed by one to make sure I didn’t have any mayo on my face from the sandwich I’d had for lunch.

  When I went to the back and saw a bouquet of flowers sitting on my desk I looked at one of the part time employees and said, “These are for me?”

  She nodded her head and had a grin so big on her face I thought the flowers were for her. “We got a delivery while you were on lunch. There’s a card also.”

  I looked at the card and felt heat rush to my chest and cheeks. It was from Harris. I couldn’t remember the last time I received flowers, let alone at work. I instantly picked up my cell phone to call and thank him.

  “Hello beautiful,” he said on the other end of the phone.

  “You’re so sweet. I got the flowers.”

  “You like them?”

  “Of course.”

  “What are you doing for dinner tonight?”

  I didn’t have to think before answering him, “Nothing.”

  “Good. One of the detectives recommended this Japanese spot in Uptown. I can be by around seven.”

  I smiled, “Sounds good to me.”

  “Alright, babe. See you tonight.”

  I got off the phone with him and finished my shift with a breeze now that I had something to look forward to. I damn near ran out of the store, threw my coat in the trunk of my car and decided to call and check up on Lake. I knew she was nervous about going to the police station today.

  I was so absorbed in my thoughts about how I was going to calm her down that I didn’t see the Honda Civic behind me until it was too late. I didn’t even see the person jump out of it until they’d already had their arms around me.

  I kicked and tried to scream, but my mouth was being covered up with a rag that smelled sickly sweet. My limbs couldn’t catch up with my brain as it told my arms and legs to fight! And before I knew it everything had went black.

  I woke up in a dark room. I couldn’t see anything, but the air around me smelled musty and stale. The side of my head felt like someone had taken a baseball bat to it and my mouth felt like sand paper.

  I was afraid to stand up so I felt around with my hands. It felt like I was trapped inside of a cage. I didn’t have to ask, I already knew Darnel had done this.

  “You really are a punk bitch,” I said into the dark room.

  There was no reply.

  I was so mad at myself that I was shaking. Why in the hell did I get involved with a psycho like Darnel in the first place? Why couldn’t I have seen the signs before I ended up here? This type of shit wasn’t supposed to happen to someone like me. This was some shit that only happened in the movies, yet here I was.

  I kicked at the cage with all my strength. The wire creaked but did not budge. I screamed at the top of my lungs until my throat felt raw. Surely someone heard me, right? I screamed so long and so hard, it felt like my throat was bleeding.

  I was so frustrated that angry tears started falling down my face. I didn’t even want to imagine what Darnel planned on doing to me. I remembered that Harris was coming by to pick me up tonight, and since I wasn’t going to be home, it wouldn’t take long before he went after Darnel. If there was one time I was glad I gave Harris the time of day it was now. I said a silent prayer that Harris would find me.

  I don’t know how long I sat in that dark room being tortured with my thoughts but eventually I fell asleep. I was having a nightmare but when Darnel shook me awake, my reality was much worse than the dream I was having.

  The light was on in the room and I looked around. It looked like we were in an abandoned house. What was even worse was I was locked inside of a large cage-like thing. There was a chair, a big red bucket, and a dingy ass mattress in the corner of the cage. How long had Darnel been planning on kidnapping me? The detail and resilient look of the cage told me it had been awhile. Outside of the cage, the room looked to be falling apart. I knew we were in a condemned house, which meant no one heard me screaming. I looked at Darnel who stood in front of me smiling and looking crazy as hell.

  “What the fuck, Darnel?”

  He shook his head but kept smiling at me. “You’re fucked, Kesha.”

  “Why you doing this to me?”

  “I gave you enough time to drop them charges but your ass went and started fucking a cop.”

  So he knew all about Harris. That proved this nigga had been stalking me. For some reason, that made chills race up and down my skin. He was looking crazier and crazier by the minute.

  “Since you dating a punk ass cop, I knew yo’ ass was never gonna drop them charges.” He was still smiling at me and the smile looked creepy as hell. “I can’t go back to jail, Kesha. That’s just something I can’t do.”

  “Let me go and I’ll drop the charges, Darnel,” my voice was desperate.

  Finally, he stopped smiling. But the smile was replaced by a scowl that creeped me out even more. “Bitch, it’s too late for that! The D.A. will probably still go through with the case. The only way I’m getting out of this is if I kill yo’ ass.”

  My blood ran cold at his words and fear paralyzed me completely. I didn’t want to show him I was afraid, but there was no stopping the terrified tears that erupted from my eyes. “I don’t wanna die, Darnel! Please!”

  “I didn’t wanna kill you, Kesha. I actually loved you until you pulled that got-damn gun on me. Then I knew you din’ really love me.”

  “But I did love you, Darnel! I still do!” I said. I’d seen in movies where captives were able to sweet talk their kidnappers into letting them go and all I could do was pray it would work on Darnel.

  “You still love me but you trying to have me locked up?”

  “You jumped on me!”

  “You was putting me out on the streets, Kesha!” He jumped in my face and I braced myself for his fist. “You was putting me out just like my mama did. And you said you would never do that.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I was so scared he was about to punch the shit out of me that my voice wouldn’t allow me to say anything.

  “So what, I fucked a few other bitches here and there. Them hoes didn’t mean shit. You was my girl. And you was kicking me out over some ol’ funky ass bitches!”

  I couldn’t
understand his way of thinking. Of course I couldn’t, he was crazy! How would I be able to talk a crazy person into not killing me? I was so scared that I couldn’t even think straight. There were so many thoughts battling each other in my mind. I thought about my parents who were both deceased. I thought about finally being able to see Mama and Daddy again and that made tears fall faster from my eyes. I missed my parents and thought about them every single day, but I wasn’t ready to join them yet. I thought about my sister who lived thousands of miles away in Detroit. Regret ate the lining of my stomach. I hadn’t talked to my sister since Daddy’s funeral and now I would never get to talk to her again. There was no bad blood between us, we just both had busy lives and couldn’t find the time to pick up the phone to see how one another was doing. That sounded so stupid to me now. How was it that I found the time to call Charlie or Lake, but not my own sister?

  Then my thoughts went to Charlie. She would be devastated once she heard about my death. She would find a way to blame herself, saying she should have done more, when in reality there was nothing she could have done to save me from Darnel. Then I thought about Lake, and I was sure I was going to become dehydrated from all the tears that were falling from my face. I would never see Destiny grow up. I would never be able to see her take her first steps, say her first words.

  Harris…he would never get the chance to prove to me he was different from all the other guys I’d dealt with. I knew he would blame himself too. He was doing his damnedest to protect me from Darnel yet, Darnel still got to me. And now he was going to kill me.

  “You ain’t got shit to say, huh?” Darnel said. He was so close to my face I could smell the garlic on his breath and it made me nauseous.

  “What do you want me to say Darnel? I did love you and I don’t want to die. Please…”

  He slapped me so hard I could taste blood inside of my mouth.

  “You did love me? Did love? I thought you said you still love me!” His voice wasn’t angry. In fact, it was pleading.

  “I do, baby. I really do. But you can’t keep hitting me. How am I supposed to love a man that puts his hands on me?”