What that means to you, is that the time you spend kissing, caressing, etc. earns as many points with a woman (well, almost) as the Big O itself, or at least foreplay is way more important to us than it is to you. It’s to your advantage to invest as much time in foreplay as you can, even though you may not think it means that much to us – really, it does, and it’s often the difference between whether a woman cums or not.
So, where does cunnilingus fit in? For us, it’s pretty much the Big O, if you do it right. Everything else that follows is nice, and we really want you to be happy, but by the time you cum, we’ve already cum – or should have. Unfortunately, men’s track record isn’t very good in that area, as my earlier statistics showed.
Foreplay starts long before the actual sex. For me, it starts when I get a phone call from my man:
* * *
"Hey, I cancelled my night at the gym because I really want to take you out for dinner. Can you make it?"
"Really, you did that for me? How sweet...let me check, I think I’m free, or I can at least get free to see you."
* * *
You may have two people lying to each other here, even with both of us knowing it – He didn’t feel like going to the gym, but he did want to fuck. And I was going to wash my hair, and maybe play with my vibrator, but I like being fucked by him. So, I’m thinking about him now, and will until we actually meet at that Park Avenue 4 star restaurant, or maybe just at the hot dog stand next to it – it really doesn’t matter, because he started the foreplay a day or two earlier with his phone call, and that’s the important thing for me.
Foreplay continues when he holds his gaze on mine for a beat or two longer than usual, or brushes his fingertips over my shoulder, when he holds the door, basically when he pays attention to me.
When the conversation over dinner turns to more intimate things, the foreplay ramps up in intensity, but it already started days or hours before. When he mentions a body part of mine – nothing crude is necessary, my neck, or hands, cheeks, or lips are fine – I’m picturing him touching those parts. And believe me, I’m perfectly willing to bring in the mental ‘dirty pictures’ myself, he doesn’t need to mention them too early.
When he mentions how velvety soft, full and red my lips are, besides visualizing his lips there, which is yummy, I’m also visualizing his fat cock slipping over them, as I suck his cock, perhaps while he licks my hot, throbbing pussy, and what his creamy white cum would look like on my red lips. All that from an innocent comment about how nice I happen to look!
It might sound funny, but if everything is done right, with the goal of both of us orgasming, my foreplay is going to take a couple of days, and I’ll cum when he licks my clitoris. His foreplay might be a half an hour or so in a hotel room, or my apartment, and he’ll cum when he fucks my wet (and already satisfied) pussy. The trick is coordinating those schedules.
When our foreplay is sufficient, we’ll both have a large quantity of blood flow directed at our genitals – my pussy will be wet, my clit erect and uncovered, and my entire vulva sensitized to his touch. His cock will be hard, his balls drawn up and ready to fire out a load of his thick and sticky cum. It’s just that my ‘go point’ usually isn’t going to be exactly the same as his, and it took me longer to get there.
You can try things like flirting, touching, deep kissing, certainly licking and kissing most any part of her body – remember her erogenous zones – talking dirty, all to get her excited. Sometimes, she’ll like adult movies, although most of them are made for the more visually-oriented male, not the more touch-oriented female. A little B & D, or even S & M are nice, if you both are fully aware of what those entail and agree with those terms.
Role playing can add spice, the main thing throughout foreplay is to make her comfortable, relaxed, and desired. Do those things, and it’s hard not to be successful. Pace yourself – sex for a woman is a marathon, not a sprint.
The Flutter of Angel Wings
Fortunately, since the vulva is located in the center of a woman’s body, there’s some variety in how you get there. Rather than jumping on her pussy immediately, which is really too direct for most women, start at her head, and work your way down to her pussy, showering attention on her along the way. Or, start at her feet, and work your way up to, yes, her cunt.
There are tons of variations to these two approaches, you can let your imagination guide the way. Just as an example, here are two scenarios with my lovers using this technique:
* * *
He kisses my cheek, a slight peck, looking into my eyes, but saying nothing. He piques my curiosity with this mysterious approach. His fingers caress the line of my jaw on one side of my face, then he lifts my chin slightly and kisses my throat, giving me a short lick on my artery with the rough flat of his tongue. I shiver, I’m vulnerable there.
He uses his fingertips of both hands to spread my blouse away from my breasts, my nipples erect. He’s made me even more vulnerable, exposing me. My pussy becomes wet at the thought of what he might do. He leans down and takes one nipple between his lips, as his hand caresses the underside of my other breast – oh, he’s being so sweet...until he pinches the other nipple cruelly between thumb and forefinger.
God, I’m confused...but so, so excited. Will he be sweet to me when he reaches my pussy and clit, or will he be cruel? Whichever it is, my pussy is already creaming madly for him. When he gently licks my clit, aroused and exposed to his eyes...or pinches it between his lips, sending shocks of pain and pleasure through my hips, one thing is certain – I will cum, again and again, my body limp with sensation.
* * *
Here’s another scenario, from an interview with another young woman:
* * *
I was in a threesome a few months ago. The other girl started at my feet, squeezing my feet in her hands, massaging and kneading the muscles, then sucking each toe, one by one, into her mouth, her warm, moist lips holding each toe captive as her tongue licked and tickled in between my toes.
There was no doubt in my mind that she would be soft and gentle, the spanking of her soft, warm naked ass a few minutes beforehand had ensured that.
Her lips and fingertips worked their soft, teasing way up my calf, the sensitive skin there tingling, then stroked the hollow under my knees, tickling me. By the time her sweet lips were kissing the inside of my thighs, ever closer to my drooling, pouting pussy, I had already cum once, ready for her sweet mouth on my clit, her tongue inside my pussy, lapping up my hot cream. It was a bonus that Drew let me suck his hard cock the whole time, while he watched us play.
* * *
One thing that both stories had in common:
Once the lovers got to the woman’s already creaming pussy – they slowly licked her vulva, from her inner thighs/mons to her labia, tongues softly, but with increasing pressure lapping around the center of her sex, but never touching her clit or pussy, until she was screaming with desire and need – even after cumming multiple times!
I know that you can find your way from head to pussy, or feet to clit, and have a very nice time doing it, while you prepare her for the delirium of your touch on her vulva.
The Snake Charmer
Of course, everyone knows what French Kissing is, don’t they? Just a reminder, though, while it means ‘kissing and inserting your tongue,’ it’s not the same as ‘fucking with your tongue’ – in other words, you need a very gentle use of your tongue here.
Pretend that her labia are the lips of her mouth – obviously sideways – and gently place your lips on hers. She can bruise here, and the labia are sensitive, so please don’t mash your lips on hers, I assure you that she knows that you’re there!
Now, gently, softly, touch and briefly lick inside her. You’re going to be touching the opening of her vaginal canal – her pussy itself – and her frenulum and fourchette. Don’t remain fixed to that spot like a lamprey, though, that’s just weird.
Instead, move your mouth to other parts of her vulva,
again kissing softly, gently, briefly licking what you find. If you pay attention to her movements, to her sounds, to the involuntary reactions of her body, you’ll find her pussy wetting, her sweet cream dripping out into your eagerly waiting mouth. Go ahead, lap it up (softly, gently), she’ll make more!
The Venus Butterfly
You should try this once she’s actually starting to become aroused, not so much as your initial move. Think about how a woodpecker, er, pecks. Stiffen your tongue slightly (you never want anything really, really hard in regard to her pussy, except your cock when you’re both in the frenzy of an approaching orgasm. Peck away, that is, lightly thrust the stiffened tongue inside her pussy (which should already be at least somewhat wet), allowing your own saliva to flow freely inside her, wetting her additionally and decreasing the irritation of too much friction.
Vary where you place your tongue, in different parts of her wet canal, at her labia (gently), near her clit, but not on it. When she responds, you can move in other directions than just up and down, around in circles is very nice. Gauge her reactions, she will definitely let you know when she especially likes a particular movement.
Passion Sauvage
This is by far my favorite, both in giving and receiving, but it calls for a very, very gentle touch. It’s another technique that should not be used when you’re starting, but rather after she’s become aroused and very interested in how you’re going to bring her over the edge to her first, or subsequent orgasms.
You’ll be placing your very wet lips on her vulva, initially on anything but her clitoral area, and gently, softly applying a little vacuum, as though you were sucking on a straw. No hard sucking, that hurts, just enough that her skin is pulled upward toward your mouth.
Accentuate the sensation that this causes with the touch of your tongue to the flesh inside your mouth, just a touch, or slight lap. Never stay in one area very long, and never, ever do this directly on her clit unless you know her very well, and she asks you to. This is the fastest way to destroy any chance she has for an orgasm, due to the thousands of nerve endings packed into her tiny clit.
Applying your little vacuum cleaner is one of the most intimate things that you can do, in what is obviously a very intimate act, in that you are taking her most special areas in your mouth, including her hot, creamy fluids – which, I can assure you, are extremely arousing for you both, and quite tasty, particularly when you share a kiss, and she tastes her own pussy on your mouth. God, I can almost cum at the thought of how hot that is, as I type this!
Sadie Hawkins’ Revenge
This is really fun, because you’re going to let her fuck your "pussy" with her "cock"!
Fold your tongue into a tube (if you can, apparently some people can’t), then slowly enfold her clit inside the end of your tongue-tube, rhythmically fucking onto her little cock, her clit with your hot, wet pussy. This is extremely arousing to a woman, due again to the thousands of nerve endings in her clit (cock) rubbing inside your tongue (pussy). In addition, of course, this is so hot because of the reversal of sex roles – women secretly love the thought of being the fucker on occasion, rather than the fuckee, if you will.
It doesn’t hurt if at some point immediately afterward during your lovemaking, you whisper in her ear how hot it was for you to let her fuck your "pussy," and how nice her "cock" was – lose those inhibitions, guys, and she will too!
Love Letters
This is fun, and educational, too! Simply pretend that the tip of your tongue - make it pretty stiff but wet - is the tip of a pen, and trace the shape of letters of the alphabet all over the upper and lower parts of her inner vulva – that is, the area of her labia, pussy and clitoral area. You can do the letters in any order you like, you can even write "words." One girlfriend and I love to write ‘love letters’ to each other this way, though I confess I lose track after three or four letters of the first word, as I’m too busy cumming. This may be typical!
* * *
"Oh Peter, this is so silly, but okay. <pause> First letter is "I." That was so simple. <pause, giggle> Second letter – oooh – umm, is "L." <long pause, moan> Oh god, do that again...yess, like that...umm, that’s – fuck – "O." Ah, that’s nice, "V," I think I know where you’re going with this, you tease...oh god god god shit fuck I’m cumming, baby, cumming in your mouth, lick my pussy, eat my cunt <unintelligible>..."
* * *
His (or her) tongue is so unpredictable as to where it will go, that a woman has no choice to be surprised and delighted by the unexpected pleasure. The movements are rhythmic, as they always should be in sex, but where they will be experienced is almost totally unpredictable to the woman, and always a very pleasant surprise. And women love pleasant surprises!
Ascend Into Heaven
Have you ever teased a woman by running the head of your cock up and down her tight slit, from the top to the bottom, smearing your hot, creamy pre-cum just at the entrance of her pussy, until she demanded that you shove your hard dick deep inside, filling her pussy excitingly, and making her cum instantly?
There’s a similar technique with your tongue, licking along the thin slit of her labia, just where her sweet, wet pink interior peeks out, inviting you. Slowly lick up and down her wet slit, adding the wetness of your saliva – and if everyone’s doing their part, the taste and smell of her excited pussy ought to be making your taste buds work overtime.
You can use two fingers of one hand to close her pussy lips, not allowing you in too deep, then gradually lessen your grasp to allow your cock-tongue to sink deeper inside her wet, silky hot paradise, still licking up and down along her smooth slit. Of course, her hips are likely to be shifting around as she reacts to the hot pleasure along her pussy, so you’ll have to adjust to that.
Variations to this include light flicks to her clitoral area on your upward strokes, and ‘sewing’ along her pussy, going from side to side with shifts of pressure as you simultaneously move up and down her opening.
Nosy, Nosy, Nosy
Nature has been very kind to the "cunning linguist" in placing our noses a few inches above our mouths (and tongues.) Why? Because it is possible, and desirable, to stimulate both your lover’s clitoris and her pussy at the same time, with only a little extra effort. And from a selfish point of view, it’s fantastic to taste her slick, wet pussy with your tongue, inhale her hot pussy fragrance with your nose, and feel her anxiously trying to bump her receptive clit against your nose as she cums, again and again and again.
If you’ve ever been embarrassed because you have a big nose, believe me, it is a positive asset in this position. I have a boyfriend who boxed in college. His somewhat misshapen (but still cute) nose tickles me like none other when he’s eating me out, and I never fail to cum when he’s licking me.
You can lick her pussy and rub your wet nose over her clit at the same time, which can be a little tricky at first, or you can simply caress her clit with the tip of your nose (gently and lightly) while your tongue is resting a little bit. Cunnilingus is awesomely fun, but it does wear out the ligament at the base of the tongue, and it can hurt you if it’s overworked, so pace yourself, and let your nose have some of the fun!
Lip Locking the Nanny
Just as the name would imply, with this technique you’ll use your lips, and not your tongue at all. Your lips should be smooth – not chapped or cracked. And importantly, they should be moist if not wet. It’s one of the reasons that a woman wearing lipstick kissing me down there is so much better than a chick who works construction, with her invariably cracked and chapped, rough lips, though they both have their advantages.
Kissing is everything to a woman. I’m certain that if you asked the average woman, what one sexual practice she would want, if all others were taken away, she’d reply more often than not, "kissing." It is just so sensual, so intimate, so romantic and giving, that it expresses both sex and love, and women will always prefer love. So, cunnilingus which is expressed through a kiss, not the
lick from a tongue, will edge out the (admittedly delightful) lick almost every time.
Kiss her pussy, kiss her labia, kiss her clit – you are telling her that it is passion driving you to her, not sex.
The Insolent Tongue
Having said the foregoing, there definitely is a time and a place for avoiding the gentle kiss of your lips, and using other means. For example, if the woman knows for certain that your passion for her is real, you needn’t emphasize it in every single way that you make love – you have the freedom to take other roles, even contradictory ones, as can be found in role play between a married couple.
He can be the cruel jailer who ‘abuses’ an innocent traveler arrested in error. Being sweet to her would be out of character, he’s expected to be cruel – that’s why the couple plays!
So he teases and tortures her wet and swollen clitoris with his tongue, nonetheless keeping his touch gentle and moist – while he can play at ‘hurting’ her, he really only wants to stimulate her – the tongue lashing against and over her vulva is a mild insult to her. Imagine someone licking your nose or ear, as opposed to them kissing it. One is stimulating, crude and (hopefully) sexual, the other, an expression of passion, fondness and love.
Avoid her clit itself, though, until she has reached the beginning of her explosion. The feathery touch – repeat feathery, light as a feather touch – of the tip of your tongue across her swollen clit will send her over the edge into a phantasmagoria of pleasure – if you are careful, and considerate, and know your female partner’s likes and dislikes.
Blow Her Mind: His Illustrated Guide to Orgasmic Oral Sex So Good She'll Tell her Friends About It! Master Advanced Cunnilingus Tonight Page 5
