Dating A Saint

by Donna McDonald

  Regina nodded. “True. So what are your challenges with Jim?”

  Lauren sighed with relief when her cognac was placed on the table. She needed not to think in the same loop over and over. When the waiter walked away, she lifted the glass and took a bracing sip. The heat hitting her stomach at least disrupted the dread.

  “Regardless of what Jim told my mother, the reality is he will never belong to me completely. Even if he gets a divorce tomorrow, and I keep him in my life, I will always have to share him with the woman he married. She can’t care for herself and Jim will always want to take care of her. He’s one of the most faithful men I have ever met. Everything he does, all the money he makes—I mean everything seems to be about taking care of the people in his life. I don’t know what the man does for himself.”

  She lifted her glass and drank the rest of her cognac. Regina watched the glass lower slowly back to the table. “Jim went out of his way to take care of my needs today, but he wouldn’t let me reciprocate. I feel like he’s doing penance for some perceived sin, rather than just embracing what we have to bring to each other. I can’t begin to tell you how much I want to take care of his needs. The depth of my desire to please him scares me. I certainly never felt this way about the man I married, even before I found out about the other women.”

  Regina reached across the table and laid a hand on Lauren’s. “I’ve seen too many unhappy marriages to take any committed relationship at face value. I don’t have any answers for you about how to reach an agreement with Jim or how to set the ground rules for your relationship. I can tell you other people face the same dilemma. Jim’s case is not unique. I wish it was, but I’ve actually had several other clients with situations like his.”

  Lauren’s eyes widened at that. “You’re kidding.” It had never occurred to her that anyone other than Jim was facing his particular issues. “Are just saying that to make me feel better?”

  “No. Having a non-reciprocating legal spouse is actually fairly common,” Regina said softly. “It happens more often when couples are in their seventies and eighties. One of them goes into a nursing home, becomes senile or worse, and basically starts a new life without their long time legal mate. The healthy spouse often struggles with what to do with the rest of their life, including their remaining sexuality. I can tell you one of the worst things a healthy spouse ever does is believe they don’t deserve to have love and happiness. Yet they allow, forgive, and often condone their ill spouse’s relationship with someone new. The situations are simply heart wrenching. I have a hell of time helping the healthy spouse find a sexual lifestyle they can live with peacefully.”

  “How awful for everyone. Is there ever a happy ending for the healthy spouse?” Lauren asked.

  Regina squeezed her hand and smiled. “Well, it takes a lot to let your heart be the barometer of love and faithfulness, rather than judging it by the letter of the law. Each person has their own ending to their story.”

  Regina grinned at Lauren. “My personal opinion is that James Gallagher is totally worth the work you’re putting into him, Lauren. Not only is Jim very honorable, he’s also totally a hunk, as Alexa would say. I really would have dated him if I could have ethically. My instincts were telling me Jim was just into a habit of keeping his stay-off-the-grass sign out long after the fertilizer had already dried on the lawn. You’re the first woman who dared walk on his grass, and with your bare feet from what I hear.”

  “Oh damn you and your analogies, Regina,” Lauren said, laughing and sniffling into her napkin. “Between you and Alexa, I can’t date a single man in this town without you two having dated, kissed, or fantasized about him first. I guess that’s what I get for having notorious women for friends.”

  “Well, it’s not like I slept with Jim,” Regina said, laughing and shaking Lauren’s hand as she squeezed. “Alexa was the one who kissed him. I just thought about sleeping with Jim—okay, maybe I thought about it a lot back when he finally finished his therapy. Seriously though, after even one bad woman, Jim wasn’t going to risk getting involved again unless the stakes were critical. He’s too noble for his own good. ”

  “I wasn’t playing the temptress with him on purpose. It just worked out that way,” Lauren said quietly, defending her pursuit of him. “Though I won’t pretend I haven’t spent a lot of time planning how and what to do with him. He’s very—addictive.”

  Regina just laughed. “Whatever your motivation, you’re doing Jim a huge favor luring him into taking a risk again. Now—since the deed is already done—you have to tell me, is Jim as good as he looks? You never said anything other than he gave you multiple orgasms the first time. I want details.”

  Lauren shook her head, smiling at the twinkle in Regina’s eyes. There was no getting around telling the woman. She would just use her Dr. Logan voo doo and find out the truth anyway.

  “Jim has a temper to match his passionate nature, so we tend to fight more often than we play nice with each other. He ends up putting marks on me almost every time. Today was the first time he ever kissed me that he didn’t leave a brand,” Lauren said, drying her eyes. “In fact, today he was gentle and kind, and all I could do today was bawl all over him. I know he won’t necessarily be like that next time. In fact, I’ll probably make sure he isn’t. I can’t decide which side of him I like better. His temper appeals to some bitchy part of me, and I tend to show him my worst side every chance I get.”

  “Moody men make interesting lovers. I knew he’d be good. I’ve always had exceptional taste,” Regina said happily, delighted when Lauren laughed. “And I happen to like your inner bitch. She’s a lot of fun. I also like Jim even more for what he’s done for you. You’re glowing for heaven’s sake.”

  “That’s just redness from crying all day,” Lauren teased.

  “I don’t think so,” Regina said slowly, laughing more as she released Lauren’s hand. “If you were Jenna, I’d suggest you get a pregnancy test. Luckily, at your age you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant as much anymore. It’s probably just post-coital bliss.”

  Lauren paled, then started doing math in her head. It had only been two weeks—not quite two weeks. It was too early to worry, she told herself. Too soon to be concerned.

  Regina noticed Lauren had no reply to the last statement. “Lauren? You were on the pill when you let Jim have his drunken way with you, weren’t you?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “I—it’s too soon to worry,” Lauren said, shaking her head.

  Regina laughed and ran a hand over her face. “Oh, boy—listen, if you miss your cycle, you need to be checked. Don’t take any medication until you know for sure. Did you tell Jim about—the first time?”

  “No,” Lauren said. “I—there hasn’t been time or opportunity. I’ve been too mad at him to confront him with the truth.”

  “I think at this point, all we can do then is cross our fingers anyway,” Regina said, looking at her friend with sympathy. “Have you noticed any body changes?”

  “No,” Lauren said. “I don’t think so.”

  “Then we’re not going to worry for a couple more weeks,” Regina said wisely.

  “I forgot about—I was so upset he didn’t remember being with me I forgot about not using protection. I should have stopped him—I could have, but I didn’t,” Lauren said regretfully.

  Regina snorted. “Sometimes there is no stopping, especially when you’ve been holding back. You and Jim both were years overdue. Go back to forgetting it for a couple more weeks. Buy condoms on the way home today and use them if he shows up again. Tell him you can’t go on the pill yet—doctor’s orders. He’ll go along. He might not like it, but he’ll go along.”

  “You covering for me, Dr. Logan?” Lauren asked on a sigh.

  “Every time I can, honey,” Regina said, lifting her hand to the waiter. “Roger, be a sweetie and bring me a pomegranate martini. Oh, and bring Ms. McCarthy a mineral water.”

  “You know—Alexa warned me it wasn’t
going to be pretty or nice, but as usual I didn’t listen. She’s going to kill me if I end up pregnant,” Lauren said on a giggle, letting the double cognac numb her to reality. “Lord, I’m not ready to be anyone’s mother. What am I going to do?”

  “Avoid all future alcohol for starters. Then practice safe sex until you know for sure. Oh, and tell the father of your potential child as soon as possible,” Regina said wisely. “And to think I was regretting my early menopause. Right now, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.”

  “Well, there’s one bright side. If I end up pregnant with a married man’s baby, no one will ever call me a saint again. My mother will insist I wear a scarlet letter on my chest instead,” Lauren said on disparaging laugh.

  “Nonsense,” Regina said easily. “Remember what happened to Alexa when she became a single mother. Her allure grew. If Jim decides he can’t handle it, you’ll have a line of men waiting to take a turn in your bed.”

  Lauren closed her eyes. The old Lauren would have blushed, would have cringed from the thought of being pregnant and unmarried. Now she knew the only sane alternative was to laugh. There was no changing what she had done. She might as well laugh now and worry about it later.

  “You know, Alexa offered to make me a list of the best lovers in town the day of her wedding. Maybe I’ll have to take her up on it,” Lauren said, meeting Regina’s laughing gaze with one of her own.

  “That’s a very balanced attitude,” Regina said, smiling. “I’m so proud of you, honey. But if you are pregnant, at least you won’t be alone in raising the child. You have us.”

  “I gave up all the dreams I had about being a mother when I gave up men seven years ago,” Lauren said sadly. “At forty-two, I thought it was too late to even think about the possibility.”

  “I keep telling you it’s never too late,” Regina said, trying to stifle the laughter.

  Lauren and Jim might be a lot older than Seth and Jenna in chronological years, but they were both as innocent about the world. Regina knew James Gallagher was going to be the happiest man on earth if it turned out Lauren was carrying his baby, but she couldn’t tell Lauren. She’d already shared more than she felt comfortable sharing.

  “Yeah, you keep saying it’s never too late,” Lauren agreed. “But now I’m finally starting to believe it. One of these days, I’m going to stop wondering if you’re right and just do what you tell me to do.”

  “Great,” Regina said, letting the laughter escape. “So lure Jim back to your bed, have your wicked way with him until you’re completely sated, and then tell him you might be pregnant. Think of it as a hazing ritual for permanent membership in the notorious club.”

  “Regina, you are truly incorrigible,” Lauren said, amusement all but choking her.

  “No, that was Alexa, and it was years ago. I have bad sex skills. Doesn’t anyone read my press anymore?” Regina shook her head and sipped her martini as Lauren continued to laugh. “I swear Ben Kaiser has ruined my notorious reputation. He’s just lucky he’s so good in bed that I have to keep him.”

  “Yeah, so you keep bragging. Why don’t you tell me what Ben’s like in bed so I can go home and fantasize? Then we’ll be even,” Lauren said wickedly. She had to work really hard to put a dare in her eyes, but did remember to lift her chin as she smiled. Lauren knew she was in trouble when Regina only lifted one eyebrow.

  “Tell you what Ben’s like in bed? Not on your life, sister,” Regina said loudly, laughing. “You just keep that inner bitch of yours on a leash until your own man shows up. Besides—Ben is for advanced women only. You would need several years of James Gallagher just to be able to handle a single time with Benjamin Kaiser. The man is a sex god—my sex god to be precise.”

  “Regina—“ Lauren sputtered, practically squealing. “You can’t possibly know Ben is better than Jim in bed—oh, shut up. You’re not tricking me into telling you what Jim does.”

  Lauren rolled her eyes as Regina’s wicked laughter finally brought a blush to her face.

  Chapter 16

  “I’m truly sorry, Jim,” Barrett said, his voice full of sincere regret. “I wish I had better news.”

  Jim rose from the polished conference table in Barrett’s office and walked to the window. It was close to four, and rush hour traffic was starting to pick up. Despite his natural inclination to go lick his wounds somewhere private, he was in no hurry to join the late-day madness.

  Besides, it wouldn’t be a good idea for him to get behind the wheel of his vehicle when he felt like driving off the nearest cliff.

  “So even if Cassandra’s parents name me custodian in their wills, you’re saying the court will likely still overrule it,” Jim repeated, wanting to make sure he completely understood the brick wall before he starting flailing against it.

  “It’s not a forgone conclusion, but it’s likely. There are good reasons for it, Jim. The courts tend to look at a divorce as a conflict of interest to the ex-spouse’s well-being. Normally, it is. It definitely wouldn’t have been wise for me to have control over my ex-wife. If I told you what I wanted to do to her for the two years she held off settling our affairs to keep me from marrying Jane, you’d probably want to find another attorney,” Barrett said on a desperate laugh.

  Today was the first day he’d hated his job in a long time, Barrett decided. He’d not seen Jim this defeated since Cassandra had announced he was her brother.

  “So this is the end of trying—there is really no way to divorce Cassandra and still be able to take care of her,” Jim said, finally resigned to it.

  “You can divorce her, but once her parents die, you’ll have to deal with the state. The best her parents can do is name you trustee of her inheritance. Even then, when the estate is settled, the judge could see that as a problem too.” Barrett got up and walked over to where Jim stood. “If I think of anything else, I’ll let you know. I’m truly sorry I wasn’t able to do more.”

  Jim shook his head and put his hands in his pockets. “I guess a part of me was prepared for this conclusion. It’s just—Lauren is the only woman I want to be my wife. I didn’t even remember what a real marriage was supposed to be like until Lauren came long.”

  “Have you told Lauren about the situation?” Barrett asked.

  “I told her about Cassandra, but not specifically about trying to get a divorce. I didn’t want to get her hopes up. It was bad enough I kept thinking it might work out. Looks like it was a good thing I kept quiet about it now,” Jim said sarcastically.

  “I think you should tell her everything anyway,” Barrett said lightly, not deterred by the sarcasm in Jim’s tone. He’d known him too long. “Sometimes it really is the thought that counts, no matter how bleak the situation. Your intentions have always been in the right place, Jim. If you ever want to go forward with the divorce, I’ll hand-carry it to everyone and make sure it gets done in record time.”

  Jim shook his head. “I won’t be seeking a divorce. I can’t hurt one woman just to make things more okay for the other,” he said sadly. “It’s up to Hector now.”

  “Hector? What’s Sam’s son got to do with your divorce?” Barrett asked, confused.

  Jim laughed at the question. Hector’s prayers for a miracle were no more far-fetched to him now than sending Barrett out looking for a legal one.

  “Did I tell you Hector offered me half of the payoff money for Margaret Simpson? When I refused the money, he promised to help me take care of Sam and Cassandra for the rest of their lives. Then as if all those promises weren’t enough, Hector said he believed in God and was going to pray for a miracle for me,” Jim said.

  He looked back out the window at the traffic. Now he was going to have to think about what he could offer Lauren, knowing whatever it was—it was never going to be the wedding band he wanted to give her.

  “I’d take a miracle over more money any day,” Jim said. “You can’t buy a miracle.”

  “Well, I don’t know about that, Jim. You bought one for Samuel
Simpson. Does Hector have any idea how wealthy you are?” Barrett asked.

  Jim shook his head. “No, but I don’t think it would have mattered to him. He sees Sam as his responsibility now. He’s practically a kid still—can’t be more than twenty-six or seven, but his landscaping business is lucrative. He’d have a little trouble scraping up the cash, but probably would give it to me if I wanted it. It shocked the hell out of me when he offered me money. It shocked me more when I realized he was serious.”

  “You inspire people to be good, Jim—when you let them get to know you,” Barrett said easily. “You’ve let more people in your life these last few months than you have in years. It’s like letting yourself fall in love with Lauren kicked down all your defenses.”

  When Jim laughed loudly, Barrett noticed his whole face crinkling even around the disappointment still evident in his direct gaze. James Gallagher was a hell of a guy and deserved a lot more than Barrett was able to give him.

  “What’s so funny?” Barrett asked, wondering what had caused the amusement.

  “It was what you said about Lauren kicking down my defenses. She’s studied martial arts and has a couple black belts. Someday when I’m in a better mood I’ll tell you about the time I made her mad and she put me on her kitchen floor. I limped for days,” Jim said, grinning. “I can’t even tell you how much I love and respect that woman.”

  “Can’t wait to hear the story. Maybe we can go out to dinner soon,” Barrett said, returning Jim’s smile.

  “Sounds good, but I don’t know yet if Lauren’s going to want to be open about our relationship,” Jim told him. “I have to let her decide. I’ve already ruined most of her reputation. Her mother and I even had a fight about it. Lauren took my side when I told Lydia I belonged to her daughter and was the only man in her life.”

  “Good for you both. Lydia still trying to get Lauren to go back to the cheating asshole?” Barrett asked. It was public knowledge Lydia McCarthy favored her former son-in-law despite the fact he went through women like water.