Billy

by Donna Joy Usher

  ‘Thanks,’ he said when he caught up.

  ‘No worries.’

  ‘So,’ he said as we walked, ‘what do you want to do today?’

  I bit down on my answer of hurt somebody, and instead, said, ‘Thought we’d see if we could find some drug dealers.’

  ‘Cool.’ He nodded his head. ‘And later, do you think we could swing by The Mercure?’

  I stifled a sigh. The Donut King was next to The Mercure. ‘Sure,’ I said. Only one of us needed to be miserable.

  The traffic on the street got lighter as the houses around us became less polished. Ahead, a group of youths congregated around an older man. They all wore black hoodies, hoods up.

  ‘Bingo,’ I said. ‘I mean look at them. Did they all go shopping together to buy those jumpers. It’s ridiculous. They may as well have I’m-up-to-no-good signs on their backs. And they don’t even see us coming. You’d think at least the dealer would be a little more aware.’

  Bob stayed silent throughout my tirade.

  ‘Would you like to explain what’s going on here?’ I asked in my don’t-mess-with-me voice. It had an extra hard edge to it this morning.

  ‘Oh hey.’ The dealer looked up. ‘The Police. Thank goodness, we’re lost.’

  ‘Sure you are,’ I said.

  ‘Ummm.’ He pulled a face. ‘Do you know how to get to St Vincent’s College? My team’s playing softball there this arvo. We went the wrong way from the train station.’ He held his phone out towards me, Google Maps was up on the screen. ‘It’s a bit embarrassing cause the rest of us went via cars. So they’ll be wondering where we are.’

  I could feel my cheeks heating as six other heads swivelled to look at me. They were all girls.

  ‘So what school are you girls from?’ Bob asked.

  ‘Girl’s Grammar,’ one of them said, pointing at the crest embroidered on her hoodie.

  ‘Okay, so just head back down this street, turn right and keep on going.’ It really felt like my face might burst into flames. ‘St Vincent’s is right down there.’

  ‘Oh thanks.’ The coach shoved his phone back in his pocket. ‘Come on girls.’

  The mindless chatter of teenage girls started up as they packed in behind their coach.

  Bob looked sideways at me, a small grin creasing his face.

  I raised my eyebrows and said, ‘What?’

  ‘Nothing.’ His grin broadened. ‘Nothing at all.’

  ***

  ‘Want one?’ Bob held the almost-empty donut box out to me.

  I stared at the caramel-centred, jam-filled contents and felt nothing. No longing. No desire. I was so filled with black anger that there was room for nothing else.

  ‘Anything interesting happen today?’ Dave perched on the corner of my desk and reached for a donut.

  ‘Chanel tried to arrest a group of lost school kids, a priest and a couple of clowns.’

  ‘You have to admit,’ I pointed at him, ‘that those clowns looked suspicious.’

  ‘They looked damned awful.’ He shuddered. ‘I hate clowns. Ever since I read ‘It’.’

  I looked up at the clock. It was five minutes to knock off and I had no paperwork to do. ‘Might say goodbye to Trent.’ I stood up.

  ‘You won’t forget about tonight?’ Bob’s eyes bulged as he thought about having to go alone to his date.

  ‘Wouldn’t miss it for the world.’

  ***

  Trent looked up as I pushed through his doorway. He sighed and put his pen down.

  ‘So,’ I grimaced and stared at the floor, ‘you can’t tell me anything?’

  ‘The only thing I can tell you is to stay out of it.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘It’s dangerous.’ He knew straight away that that was the wrong thing to say. He put his hands up to placate me. ‘Not for him. For you. If you try to intercept him.’

  I ground my teeth together. ‘That’s bullshit, Trent, and you know it. If it’s dangerous for me, it’s dangerous for him.’

  ‘Chanel.’ He sagged in his chair. ‘It’s what he does. You knew that about him when you started dating him.’

  ‘It’s what he does in the FBI,’ I said. ‘But he’s on leave at the moment. He’s here because of me, and now his life is in danger.’

  I should have burned the damned phone number when I’d had the chance. I dashed my arm across my eyes and turned to go.

  ‘He had a choice,’ Trent said. ‘He didn’t have to do it.’

  I froze. He’d had a choice and he’d chosen to lie to me instead. I had a sudden urge to break something.

  I nodded. ‘Message received loud and clear.’

  ‘Chanel. Chanel,’ he called after me. ‘I didn’t mean it like that.’

  I heard him, but this time I didn’t stop. I fled the station and made for the gym. Home was too empty and I needed to do something to burn off my anger. It was time to remake friends with the treadmill.

  4

  Constable Smith To The Rescue

  ‘You look like you just ran a marathon.’

  ‘Not quite a marathon.’ I had left the gym with just enough time to walk and feed Cocoa. My evening preparations had involved scraping back my hair and throwing on some jeans, a shirt and a jacket.

  I knew I looked terrible, but hey, I wasn’t the one on display tonight.

  I reached out and straightened Bob’s tie and then combed his hair into place with my fingers. ‘You scrub up pretty well.’

  ‘You think it’s too much?’ He touched his tie.

  ‘Nah. You look great. Come on.’ I pushed open the restaurant door and scanned the room. They weren’t there yet.

  A waiter stood by the reception desk.

  ‘Booking for four under the name of Monica,’ I told him.

  ‘This way.’ He led us through the room to a table in the corner and waited while we sat side by side. With a deft movement, he flicked the folded serviettes off the table and onto our laps, and deposited menus in front of us.

  ‘Hmmmm.’ I flicked open the menu. I was pretty hungry after my cardio session.

  ‘What if she doesn’t come?’ Bob picked up his serviette and started tearing little strips off the edge.

  ‘Stop that.’ I reached out and slapped his hands. If he kept going, he was going to have a lap full of confetti.

  He looked at me with puppy-dog eyes.

  ‘She’s here.’ I nodded past him to the door where Monica and Sasha had just appeared.

  ‘Help,’ he let out a whimper.

  ‘Toughen up,’ I mumbled out of the side of my mouth as I waved. ‘This was your idea.’

  He wiped his hands on his serviette, turning it into a torn, soggy lump.

  ‘Sorry we’re late.’ Monica shot a look at her sister. ‘Have you been waiting long?’

  I stifled a smile. Obviously Sasha had been freaking out as much about this as Bob had been. ‘No, just a few minutes.’

  Bob raced around the table, hip-thrusting the waiter out of the way so he could pull the chair opposite his out for Sasha. She smiled shyly at him and slipped into her seat.

  I had been right yesterday. Her features were flawless. Creamy skin with blue eyes large enough to match her full lips. It was hard not to be jealous.

  ‘Have you had a nice day?’ she asked Bob.

  ‘The best day ever,’ he said. ‘I mean now. Now it is the best day ever.’

  It would have been impolite of me to stick my finger in my mouth, so instead, I turned to Monica.

  ‘Where’s your little man?’

  ‘At home with his Dad.’ She picked up the menu and opened it. ‘Do you want to get a heap of dishes and share them?’

  ‘Sounds perfect.’ I looked sideways at Bob and Sasha. They were totally oblivious to us, each of them looking into the other’s eyes and finding things nobody else could see.

  ‘I think we should order for all of us.’ Monica rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t know why they needed us at all, but I’m glad for the excuse to get out.’ />
  ‘Sure. I’m starving.’

  We placed our order with the waiter and then chitchatted about motherhood and my job, each of us trying not to eavesdrop on the conversation going on beside us.

  The food arrived quickly and we all dug in, Bob far more restrained than normal. It was delicious, but my mind kept creeping back to the one place I didn’t want it to go. Billy.

  What if he had come home and I wasn’t there? What if he hadn’t?

  I’d been ignoring Bruce and Martine’s texts and missed calls. It was rude I knew, but I wasn’t ready to talk.

  I knew what people were going to think. How the boys at work would translate this. And I just didn’t want anybody to know. Didn’t want to deal with the questions. The pitying looks. The whispers.

  But Bruce at least deserved to know that Billy wouldn’t be coming to work.

  I put my fork down and wiped my mouth with my serviette. Yes, that was the least I could do.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ I said to Monica. ‘I just realised I forgot to tell my boyfriend’s boss that he’s sick.’

  She waved a hand at me with her mouth still full and I pulled out my phone and sent off a text to Bruce. I felt guilty about the lie as soon as I had hit send, but it was all I had in me at that moment.

  I placed the phone back in my bag and helped myself to some more red curry. The food was really good and we didn’t talk for the next few minutes while we ate.

  ‘Well, it looks like our work here is done.’ I leaned back in the chair and debated undoing my top button.

  Monica looked at her sister and nodded. ‘Yup. I think they can take it from here.’

  They hardly even noticed as we hopped up and headed for the door. ‘He’s paying,’ I told the waiter as I pointed at Bob.

  Monica laughed. ‘Thanks. That was great.’

  ‘Yeah, you too.’ I almost managed a sincere smile. She had been good company. Talking enough, but not feeling like she had to stuff every silence with words.

  It didn’t take me long to walk home. I pulled out my keys as I jogged up the stairs, letting myself into the apartment in record time. He wasn’t there.

  Tears pricked my eyes as I sagged onto the couch. Cocoa crawled into my lap and lay there. No doubt he was also missing Billy.

  ‘Come on, boy.’ I dragged myself upright and took his lead off the hook by the door. He stood still as I attached it to his collar, but his front legs shook with excitement.

  The walk did nothing for my mood, but it did help clear my head. By the time I got home I had a plan of action. There was one person that Billy may have confided in, and that one person just may be willing to put me out of my misery.

  I looked at the clock. 9.50 P.M. It was probably too late to ring him now, it would have to wait till the morning.

  I showered and went to bed, expecting to toss and turn. But instead, sleep came easily, my conscious mind diving deep to avoid the pain that reality brought with it.

  ***

  The phone answered on the third ring. ‘Hello?’

  ‘Matt, it’s Chanel. Sorry, did I wake you?’ I had no idea if he and Tara were night owls or morning risers.

  ‘Hey Chanel. No, not at all. How have you been? Has your ankle recovered yet?’

  ‘Yes, back to full function.’

  ‘Oh that’s great. Tara and I feel awful about that.’

  ‘Don’t be silly Matt. It wasn’t your fault.’ I cleared my throat. What if I was reading this all back to front? What if this had nothing to do with the Super and everything to do with me?

  ‘Everything okay?’

  ‘Yes. No. Maybe.’ I took a deep breath. ‘Billy’s missing.’

  There was a second’s pause on the line ‘Missing? What do you mean missing?

  ‘He didn’t come home the night before last and I haven’t been able to contact him.’ The tears, I had been trying so hard to ignore, pushed their way to the front of the queue.

  ‘Tell me everything you know.’

  The tears escaped, trailing down my face as I filled Matt in. It didn’t take me long. ‘Sorry. I don’t know much.’

  ‘You know some,’ he said. ‘I hate to say this, but I agree with Trent. If he’s gone deep undercover you would only be endangering him if you did manage to find him. I know it sounds harsh, but you need to stay out of it.’

  I flinched at his words. Stay out of it?

  It was my fault. I had to make it better.

  But, what if he was right? What if I messed up and Billy’s cover was blown?

  It was food for thought.

  ‘Thanks.’ I let out a sniffle. ‘I’ll try.’

  ‘Try hard.’

  I smiled. ‘Give my love to Tara.’

  ‘Will do.’

  I stood as I hung up and started to pace the apartment.

  Was the chance of Billy getting hurt higher if I did or didn’t interfere? I couldn’t pick it. I didn’t have enough information. I would need a crystal ball to know. But that’s not the question that haunted me, that went round and round in my head.

  The real question, the most important of all, was what would Billy do if the situation was reversed? Would he hold back, believing it best for me, or would he follow his intuition and forge ahead?

  I just wasn’t sure any more.

  ***

  No-one noticed when I walked into the office. They were all clustered around Bob, staring at his phone.

  ‘No way,’ Nathan said. ‘You did not have dinner with her.’

  ‘She’s beautiful isn’t she?’ Bob said.

  ‘I don’t believe it. You’re having a lark.’ Mark turned to Dave. ‘What date is it? Is it April? April the first?’

  I looked over Nathan’s shoulder. It was a photo of Sasha sitting in the restaurant. Bob must have taken it after we left.

  ‘That’s her all right,’ I said. ‘In fact, I don’t think the photo does her justice.’

  Bob beamed at me and mouthed, ‘Thank you’. It wasn’t often he got to one-up Nathan and Mark.

  ‘So, it went well?’ I asked him as we were leaving the Station.

  ‘You saw it.’

  ‘No, I mean after we left.’

  ‘Yeah.’ His façade washed a faint shade of pink. ‘We went for coffee. There’s just so much we have in common. We talked until the café kicked us out at eleven. Then I walked her back to Monica’s.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘And?’ His face turned even pinker.

  ‘Well? Did you kiss her?’

  His smile could have snapped the rest of his head off.

  ‘I’ll take that for a yes.’ I let out a deep sigh. I hadn’t been kissed for a couple of days.

  ‘What do you want to do today?’ Bob held up the keys to one of the Station’s patrol cars.

  ‘Really? We get a car?’ Normally Nathan and Mark took the car while we went on foot. But that had been when Ramy was in charge.

  ‘Trent said it was our turn.’

  I punched the air and headed around the back of the building to the car park. ‘You drive,’ I said.

  The last time I had driven I had backed into a post and – oh, right…that’s what I’d done to land me on the front desk the last time.

  I fastened my seat belt while Bob started the ignition. ‘So,’ he said, ‘did you want to talk about anything in particular?’

  I looked over at him. He checked both directions and backed out of the park. ‘Like what?’

  ‘Like, maybe what’s making you so miserable.’

  I always made the mistake of underestimating Bob. Maybe that’s why we made good partners. Everybody always seemed to be underestimating me. ‘Nah,’ I said. Why rain on his parade?

  ‘Well, what do you want to do?’

  ‘Let’s go catch some bad guys.’

  We drove for a couple of hours, during which time we booked a couple of drivers for speeding, one for failing to stop, and one for going the wrong way up a one-way street.

  ‘I’m hungry,’ Bob
declared at ten-thirty. It was actually quite late for him. ‘Dunkin or Krispy?’

  ‘You had Dunkin yesterday.’

  ‘You’re right.’ He smiled. ‘It’s only fair to share the donut love around.’ He turned right and headed for a petrol station that stocked Krispy Kreme donuts. It also housed a fine selection of roasted nuts and protein bars for which I was grateful.

  The way I was feeling, it was possible I might turn into a donut-starved banshee and go on a rampage. That could get ugly.

  A few minutes later I was perusing the protein bar selection while listening to Bob choose his donuts. It sounded like he was going hard today, either that or he was feeling generous enough to take some back to the station. Given his mood it was probably the latter.

  I heard the front door jangle and then a gruff voice said, ‘Put your hands up. This is a stick up.’

  I ducked down in the aisle and started creeping away from the door so that I could peer around the end without them seeing me.

  ‘Ahhh Christ,’ a second voice said. ‘It’s a cop.’

  ‘And he’s buying donuts. A cop buying donuts. Get it.’ The first man started to laugh. ‘Spread your legs fat boy and get down on the ground.’

  Stick up? Spread your legs? These guys had been watching too many cop movies.

  ‘Hey,’ it was the second voice. I wasn’t sure if it was a man or woman. ‘Don’t cops come in twos?’

  ‘Yeah. They does. Where’s your friend, fat boy?’

  ‘I don’t have any friends.’ Bob was trying to be brave, but his voice had a tremor.

  I reached the end of the aisle and slowly slipped around the corner till I could peer through the chip packets.

  ‘Sure you do. Now, where is he?’

  It was two men. Both wore balaclavas. The larger man, the owner of the gruff voice, also had a gun.

  Awww, shit. I mean I know I had said I wanted to arrest some bad guys, but I liked it better when I was the only one with a gun.

  ‘No really.’ Bob looked up at them from his position on the ground. ‘The other men in the station won’t ride with me.’

  It was an eloquent truth.