Brush Strokes

by Janelle Stalder

  I reached the road and started back toward home, kicking up dirt as I went. The sound of feet running up behind me had me turning in relief. At least Ella wasn’t going to make me do this trek alone. It wasn’t Ella. Colt ran up, stopping just in front of me, his breath coming out quickly.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, his face flushed.

  I turned back around, walking again. “Home,” I answered.

  He reached out and grabbed my wrist, stopping me. I looked at the ground. “Olivia, you’re not walking all the way home from here. It would take you hours.” I knew that, which was why I wasn’t particularly looking forward to it. “Hey,” he said, putting a finger beneath my chin. He forced my face up, his eyes searching mine as they met. “Don’t let her ruin our day. She’s just…” He glanced around like the words he was looking for would magically appear there.

  “A bitch?” I supplied.

  He looked back at me, smiling. “Yeah. I don’t know what she’s up to, but you don’t need to worry about her. You get me?” he said, looking at me closely. Did I get him? What was I supposed to get exactly? “I mean it, you don’t have anything to worry about when it comes to her,” he stressed.

  Oh humiliation of the highest degree, why do you plague me so? Did he know I had gotten jealous? It wasn’t like you really did much to hide it, I thought to myself. Had I been that obvious? If I was understanding his meaning, which I was pretty sure I was, he was basically telling me he wasn’t interested in her. Why did that make me want to jump around like an idiot? Because you have a major thing for him, I reasoned. That didn’t lessen my mortification over the fact that he obviously knew it too.

  “Got it?”

  I nodded my head slowly, biting my lip nervously. “Yeah, I got it,” I said softly. The hand still holding my wrist stroked up my arm, resting on the side of my neck. The heated look in his eyes had my pulse racing, which I was pretty sure he could feel beneath his hand. He stepped closer, eliminating the tiny amount of space between us.

  “You really need to stop doing that,” he said in a husky voice.

  “Doing what?”

  “Biting your lip like that.” His other hand lifted, pulling on my lower lip gently to release it from my teeth. I didn’t even realize I had started doing it again when he’d said that. His thumb stayed there, softly running across my lip as his eyes focused on it. They parted slightly, like they were just waiting for him to close what little distance there was between us. My whole body felt primed and ready for him to do whatever it was he was thinking about doing, because I could tell he was definitely thinking something.

  I’d never really been kissed by a guy. I mean, I’d kissed a guy, but it had never been the kind of kiss I’d read about in books. I wasn’t even sure those kinds of kisses really existed. The kind that left your head spinning and your heart racing. Something told me kissing Colt might be like that. And although it scared the bejesus out of me, kissing Colt Morgan was not something I’d pass up. His eyes met mine and we stared at each other in silence, an invisible electrical force sparking between us. His hand dropped from my mouth, grabbing onto mine.

  “Come on,” he said, stepping back. “Let’s go back to the others and drive. There’s no way I’m letting you walk all that way.”

  I let him pull me back, my head too foggy to protest. Why hadn’t he kissed me? I could have sworn he wanted to from the look on his face, but then again, what did I know about guys? I was probably reading the situation all wrong. Maybe Colt just thought of me as a friend. But then why tell me Reagan didn’t matter? Like he knew that would mean something to me? This was so confusing.

  I focused on the ground as we walked, the warmth of his hand encompassing mine only making me more confused. Suddenly his hand squeezed mine, and I looked up to see him watching me with a wary smile. “You okay?” he asked.

  “Mmm hmm,” I answered, nodding my head. “She just gets to me.”

  He sighed, looking straight ahead again. “Yeah, she gets to all of us.”

  I laughed half-heartedly as we made our way back onto the beach where Rannon and Ella were waiting.

  “I brought our runaway home,” Colt said, holding up our entwined hands. His voice was light, but I could tell something was off with him.

  “Everything okay, Olive?” Ella said, her lips pursed like they always were when she was concerned.

  “You know how I get with her,” I said, waving her off. “I can only handle being around Reagan for so long before it drives me insane.”

  “Amen to that,” Rannon said, picking up his towels. “I think my limit’s two seconds.”

  I smiled, a genuine smile, at him. Rannon was slowly becoming my new favourite person.

  “Let’s head back and get changed,” he said. “Colt and I will grab the goodies and meet you girls back here.”

  “We’re still having a fire?” I asked. “I thought you two had to work.” I looked to Colt.

  “We do,” he said, shrugging. “This will be our last night of freedom, because we both know Rannon’s uncle is going to make us work crazy hours. We just didn’t want to spend it at one of Reagan’s parties.”

  “You don’t wake up for days after one of those,” Rannon added with a shudder.

  “We’ll have much more fun spending it with you ladies,” Colt said, giving my hand another squeeze. I looked down at them, surprised we were still holding hands. Colt and Rannon started arguing about where to buy the best wood, so when I looked back up at him his face was slightly turned away from me. I watched his profile, wondering what the heck was going on inside that head when it came to me. He glanced back at me, winking, before pulling me along with them as we made our way back to the car. I didn’t think I’d ever truly understand boys.

  “You have a major thing for Colt Morgan!” Ella said as soon as my bedroom door was shut.

  “What are you talking about? You know I’ve always thought he was hot,” I replied, sitting on the edge of my bed.

  “Uh uh, this is not just a, ‘you think he’s hot’, sort of thing. You like, like him, like him.”

  “You’re nuts. I hardly know him.”

  “Girl, please. Look who you’re talking to. I know your reactions better than I know my own. And let me just tell you, you were most definitely jealous when Reagan was all up on your man –”

  “He’s not my man,” I corrected.

  Ella went on like I hadn’t said a word. “ – and then you walked that hot little ass up that beach like you were going to beat the next person who even looked your way. I’ve never seen you stomp like that, seriously. I’m surprised there wasn’t an earthquake.”

  I laughed. “You’re ridiculous.”

  She lay down on her stomach across my bed, her face full of glee. It was so hard to not get caught up in her excitement when she was like this. Especially since I knew she was right. I did have a huge thing for Colt, I just didn’t want to admit it. Everyone knew what Colt was like. He never had a girlfriend, and he moved around – a lot. Even if I did like him – which I did, ugh – even so, it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like he was going to want to be with me in the same way I wanted to be with him. It just wasn’t the way he worked.

  “You should have seen him run after you,” she said, shaking her head, still smiling. “Reagan looked like her head was about to explode, her face went so red. Colt didn’t even give her a second glance. He just took off after you. It was so hot, dude. Everything that guy does is hot.”

  I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face. She pointed, laughing loudly.

  “Look at you! You so have a thing for him.”

  We both started giggling. I lay back so we were beside each other, and stared up at the ceiling. Today had been perfect – well, up until Queen Biotch showed up. Colt had acted like we’d been friends for years. There was hardly any awkward moments between us. Butterflies fluttered wildly in my stomach at the thought of being pressed against his body.

 
When I first got onto his shoulders, I could hardly concentrate on the game because all I could focus on was the heat from his hands on my thighs. He’d move them slightly, every now and again, and I’d have to fight back a shiver. His touch was distracting, to say the least. After I had fallen into the water, my brain had screamed to get out of the cold, to the point where I didn’t even realize what I was doing until the heat from his body started to soak into mine. That was when I had noticed I was practically crawling up the guy. And yet, he hadn’t looked displeased about it at all. In fact, he had held me tighter. My chest tightened at just the thought of it. What I wouldn’t give to spend more time in his arms like that.

  “He called me babe,” I blurted out suddenly.

  Ella looked over, our smiles matching each other’s. “Really? That’s – I don’t even know what that is. I think it’s a good sign though. Colt Morgan doesn’t use pet names.”

  I laughed. “How would you know that?”

  She gave me a ‘please’ look. “Girl, I know all. I make it my mission in life to find out gossip in our school. I know all there is to know about Colt Morgan and his dating escapades, and I can tell you, on record, that he does not use pet names. He likes you too. I can tell. This is amazing!”

  I scrunched my nose up, uncertain. “I don’t know…” I started. “He could just want to get in my pants.”

  She snorted. “Well obviously he wants to get in your pants.”

  I smacked her arm.

  “Hey, challenge is over, no more abuse,” she said, rubbing her arm. “I don’t think that’s all he wants though. Just call it my professional opinion.”

  “And what, exactly, are you a professional of?”

  “Hot guys, duh. I think there are worse ways of losing your virginity than with Colt Melt-My-Face-He’s-So-Hot Morgan. Just saying.”

  She had a point. Except that I wasn’t a virgin. Not that the first – and only – time I had done it was anything to brag about. To be honest, it had hurt and it was over so fast I wasn’t sure if it even counted. One of the guys at my art school had been asking me out on dates for months before I actually went on one. We went out for a while, not really officially a couple, but everyone knew we were ‘together’, so-to-speak. I finally gave in to ‘doing it’, as he liked to call it, and soon after broke up with him. Turns out he had bragged about it afterward, and I was so not someone’s trophy to be placed in their case and talked about.

  “Oh. My. God.” Ella sat up on her knees, her mouth open in shock.

  I looked around. “What?”

  “You stupid ho-bag,” she said. “You’re not a virgin anymore, are you?”

  Crap. My face must have given it away without me meaning to. My silent response was confirmation enough for her.

  “I can’t believe you! Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “There’s not much to tell,” I admitted. “It was short, and anything but sweet. Trust me, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

  She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “I bet you won’t think the same way if you sleep with Colt.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I have no plans to sleep with him.”

  “B-S. Pretty much everyone has plans to sleep with him. I bet there are even teachers at our school who dream about sleeping with him. It’s Colt Morgan. He’s like sex on legs.”

  I did a double-take. “What teachers do you think want to sleep with him?” She had to be joking. Her face was dead serious when she answered though.

  “Mrs. Millian, for sure. She undresses him with her eyes every time he walks into a room. I’ve watched it, trust me.”

  “Eew.” I laughed. “She’s like ninety.”

  “I think she’s more like fifty, but whatever.” Ella hopped off the bed. “Let’s get ready for our campfire extravaganza. We don’t want to leave our men waiting.”

  I sat up. “What’s going on with you and Rannon?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. I still think he’s super-hot, but I get more of a friendly vibe off him than anything. We flirt, but I don’t feel any – spark. You know what I mean?”

  Did I? I was pretty sure the spark between Colt and I was going to ignite one day and completely engulf me in flames. I nodded in response.

  “He’s a really nice guy, though,” she went on. “I like hanging with him.” Her eyes widened and she started clapping randomly. “Do you think Colt will kiss you tonight?” A tiny squeal seemed to escape her lips.

  “I don’t know,” I replied.

  “Do you want him to?”

  Uh, was that even a question? There were a few times already where I had wanted him to lean in just that extra inch, but it hadn’t happened. He had my body so wound up, I wasn’t sure how I would even react if he did end up kissing me.

  I shrugged, trying to keep an outward air of indifference. “I wouldn’t mind it,” was my answer.

  Ella started laughing. “You are so transparent I might just start calling you Casper. As if you haven’t been thinking about those lips all damn day.” She waved me off. “You just keep acting like you don’t care, and I’ll act like I don’t know any better.”

  She walked to my door, looking over her shoulder. “I’m going to get warm clothes. Make sure you pick something comfy, but cute. I’ll be back in an hour.”

  “Yes, Mom,” I replied.

  “That’s a good girl,” she said, walking out.

  Ten

  Painting is an illusion, a piece of magic, so what you see is not what you see – Philip Guston

  Colt

  I walked into the house and immediately knew something was wrong because my mom was standing at the island, a cup of coffee in front of her. Despite the hours she worked, my mom wasn’t the biggest coffee drinker. She said it made her too jittery and stuck to the less caffeinated choice of herbal tea.

  She certainly looked jittery now, but my gut told me it had nothing to do with the cup of heaven in front of her.

  “Hey,” I said, announcing my presence. Her entire frame jumped in surprise. I walked over to stand on the other side of the island, eyeing her curiously. “What’s up?”

  “Where have you been?” she asked. Her tone wasn’t accusatory or panicked, and yet I could tell she’d been waiting for me to get home for a while now.

  “I went down to the lake with some friends,” I answered. “Something wrong?”

  She fiddled with the handle of the cup, her gaze trained on the countertop. This was not good. A cold sense of dread was slithering up my spine and I didn’t like it one bit. Especially after the amazing afternoon I’d just had, I really wasn’t looking forward to whatever this was spoiling the rest of my day. All I wanted to do was go take a shower and get ready to go back to the lake. Her next words made it clear that wasn’t happening as soon as I’d like.

  “Your father called here today,” she said, her voice soft and wary. She knew I had zero love for the man who had abandoned us, and did everything I could to avoid him on the rare occasions that he’d call to check in. And I mean rare – as in, maybe a handful of times in last six years, and that was being generous.

  “What did he want?” I asked, not even bothering to try and hide the disdain in my voice. My father was the prime example of a complete loser. If I ever turned out to be like him, I think I would just end my life right there. I hoped with all my being that I never treated the ones I love the way he did. I might be a punk kid now, but when I was older I sure as hell was going to take care of what was mine.

  “He’s in town,” she replied. My entire body froze. “He wants to come by and see you.”

  “No,” I said instantly. “Absolutely not. I don’t want that piece of shit anywhere near here. He made his choice a long time ago. He doesn’t get to just come and go as he pleases.”

  Mom sighed, running a hand through her shoulder-length hair. “He’s still your dad, Colt,” she started to say.

  I backed away from the island, starting toward my bedroom. “No he’s not, Mom,” I
said. “He hasn’t been my dad since the day he walked out that door and didn’t come back. I don’t need him and I sure as hell don’t want to see him. You can just tell him to forget it.”

  I didn’t wait for her reply, turning to walk quickly to my room. I slammed the door shut behind me and reached out for the first thing I could get my hands on, flinging the object across my room. The glass, as it turned out to be, shattered on contact, spraying glistening shards across the floor. My breath came out quickly as anger pumped through my veins.

  The shrill sound of my cell had me reaching for it and flipping it open more vehemently than was probably necessary. “Hello?”

  “Hey,” Rannon said, not taking any notice of the tone of my voice. “I got bad news, man.”

  “Seems to be a running theme this evening,” I muttered.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. What’s the bad news?”

  “My mom’s dickhead of a boyfriend is drunk again,” he said.

  I was already nodding, knowing exactly where this was going. “Your brother get into it with him?”

  Rannon sighed. “Yeah. I got to take him to the hospital to get a couple of stitches.”

  I whistled. “Shit,” I said, “that’s bad. He usually comes out of that on top.”

  “Oh, Bruce is in a lot worse shape, I’m just not driving his ass to the hospital. He can bleed out for all I care.”

  Except then his mom would be sad, and I knew that was exactly where the biggest problem lay. Rannon’s mom had seriously bad taste in men, and her two sons never wanted to say anything because they hated to see her unhappy. It was shocking to think that woman was more miserable alone than she was with some abusive jerk ordering her around.

  “Looks like we have to cancel our little bonfire party,” he continued.

  “No worries, man,” I replied. “To be honest, I’m not really up for socializing anymore anyway.”