Brush Strokes

by Janelle Stalder

  Was I so awful and unattractive that he couldn’t at least be civil with me? What did he do, check to make sure the coast was clear every time he left the house? It was ridiculous. It had occurred to me after a couple of weeks that he might think I was some crazy, clingy girl, and he didn’t want to deal with that. If that was the case, I was determined to show him I was no such thing. If he didn’t want anything to do with me, so be it. I had gone eighteen years without Colt Morgan in my life, and it was no problem to live out the rest of my years that way too.

  Sure, it would be awkward if I ever ran into him, but I’d gone so long ignoring him I was sure it wouldn’t be difficult. Except that now I knew what it felt like to be in his arms, pressed against his skin. I knew what it was like to have him smile at me and take my hand in his like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. Ugh. I was screwed. Just not in the literal sense…har har har. I hung my head forward hating my own internal conversations for pointing out what a loser I was. How could I still be hung up on a guy who dropped me like some bad habit?

  I looked back up at Ella, practically feeling his presence drawing nearer. “Please,” I said in all seriousness. “We need to abort, now.”

  “10-4, captain. Let’s head to the office and get your schedule.” She took me by the hand and we sped-walked out of there like the hallway was on fire. Maybe not on fire, because then I would run, but still. As we made our way through the halls, a few surprised faces called out hellos to me, but most people just stared like I had the plague. Now I remembered just how much I hated this school.

  Suck it up, Olivia, I told myself. I was going to have to get through an entire year like this. It was best just to grow some thick skin and push forward. Somehow I was going to have to figure out a way to ignore all the snide remarks and strange looks, cope with Reagan’s and her team of robots strange change of behaviour, and avoid Colt Morgan at all costs. All while trying to stay focused and keep my grades up so I had a chance at getting into some good college far, far away from all of this. Yeah, this year was going to be a blast.

  Well, Mrs. Granger in the office seemed genuinely happy to see me back. That was something at least. I looked over the rest of my schedule as I made my way to Science with Mr. Norton, who, if I remembered correctly, was apparently an undercover cop. A ‘narc’ to be precise. Or, at least, that’s what the majority of the student body said. I had a hard time believing it. The pot smoking kids were probably just getting some mad case of paranoia.

  When I walked in my head was still down as I tried to memorize the rest of my day. Hopefully I had some classes with Ella. She’d left me when the bell rang, since Mrs. Granger had been taking her sweet-ass time finding my stuff, but she promised to meet me back at her locker after first period. If I had to go this entire semester without one class with her I was going to cry.

  Thankfully I had Art last period. I always liked having Art as my last class so I could relax and release whatever stress I’d accumulated throughout the day. Painting, in my opinion, was always the best way to wrap up your day. Plus, I had Mrs. Hart as my teacher who was the best art teacher in the entire school.

  I looked up to see what tables were empty, knowing that whoever I sat with now would be my lab partner for the rest of the semester. These things required some smart thinking. I had hardly begun thinking at all though when my gaze met the silver one that seemed to haunt me at every turn.

  I just stopped walking all together at the front of the class as our eyes locked. My heart started racing and I hated it for that. If I didn’t need the damn thing to live I would have told it to take a hike. Traitor.

  Colt looked particularly good this morning. Or I just hadn’t seen him this close for so long that I forgot how hot he was. It wasn’t fair. How could he make a simple t-shirt look so damn fine? He just dropped you without a word or thought, the smarter half of my brain reminded me. That was right. I didn’t need someone like him. My self-esteem didn’t need another dose of reality. Someone like Colt would never go out with a, quote-unquote, nerd like me. Now that school had started he would have to keep his distance if he wanted to keep his reputation.

  Maybe you won’t be such a nerd anymore, my brain interrupted again. Maybe, I reasoned. Reagan and the bimbos did seem to be warming up to me. But did I really want to date a guy that only liked me because of my social ranking in school? That was a big, fat no. If Colt was too dumb to see past all that crap, and just like me for me, it was his loss.

  Still sucked though, I thought with a mental sigh. I really had thought things were changing between us, but clearly I’d been way off the mark. Just proved how little I knew about guys and dating. Colt was way out of my league for dating anyway. God knew (or the whole school – whichever) the man had plenty of experience. I didn’t think my one time between the sheets would measure up to whatever he knew.

  “Hey, Olivia,” someone called out, snapping me from my thoughts. Geez, how long had I been standing there looking at him? Holy crap, how embarrassing. I could feel my face heating up as I tore my eyes away from his to find the speaker. Jake Taylor sat at the table across from Colt’s, an empty seat beside him. He patted it when I looked at him, motioning me over with his head.

  “Come sit with me,” he said with that million dollar smile. It still made my heart pitter-patter like it used to when we were in elementary school. Colt was drop dead gorgeous, but Jake was still really good looking too. I found Colt more attractive, but he was clearly a moron, so it was time to forget about him. I’m pretty sure I was allergic to stupidity of all forms.

  “Olivia.”

  Colt’s voice hit me like a physical blow. It was completely different than when Jake spoke to me. My body seemed to recognize him as soon as that deep, smooth voice caressed my name. It was like my nerves had some sort of voice activation system made especially for Colt. My entire being was betraying me today.

  I looked back over at him slowly, not sure what he wanted or particularly looking forward to the spike in my heart rate that was bound to happen when I stared into his silver eyes again. My head turned slightly and met his. Yup, there it was. My heart practically skipped a beat. Ugh.

  Colt pushed the stool beside him out with his foot, glancing at it quickly and back to me. I knew exactly what he was saying, or wasn’t saying, whatever. I wasn’t sure if we were playing charades all of a sudden, but it was as though he was too cool to say out loud that he wanted me to be his partner. I looked down at the stool and back at him. His eyes pleaded with mine to sit there. Was it just because Jake had asked me first? I kind of had a feeling it was, and that pissed me off.

  I walked down the aisle, stopping between the two tables. Jake smiled at me when I looked at him. The look on his face told me he expected me to pick him, which also pissed me off. When I looked back at Colt though, there was some sort of possessiveness in his that pushed me over the edge. How dare he act like I shouldn’t pick some other guy over him? I wasn’t his. He made his choice when he decided to act like I didn’t exist all summer. He could take his empty stool and shove it where the “sun don’t shine”.

  I turned and set my bag down on Jake’s table, taking the seat beside him. Jake must have had some survival-instinct because he had the good sense not to gloat and look over at Colt. His eyes remained trained on me so I didn’t have to punch him – much to his benefit.

  “How are you enjoying your first day back so far?” he asked, twisting so he faced me better. I was presently the centre of Jake Taylor’s attention. The urge to glance outside and see if pigs were flapping around with the birds was strong.

  “It’s okay,” I answered lamely.

  “What’s the rest of your schedule for the day?”

  We traded our printouts and looked them over. We didn’t have any more classes together, but shared the same lunch. I wondered briefly how that was going to play out as I handed his back. Lunch had always been just Ella and I sitting away from all the “cool” tables. She’d been sitting wi
th Reagan and them though for the past two years. Did that mean I would be too? It was hard to imagine, but I guessed I was going to find out soon enough.

  Mr. Norton finally showed up looking like he had just rolled out of bed. I glanced at the clock, noting that he was ten minutes late for his own class. This was going to be an interesting class.

  Ignoring the burning sensation emanating from the person – who shall remain nameless because he sucks – glaring at me, I focused on the semester outline Mr. Norton was going over, taking notes whenever necessary. It was the longest class of my life. Forcing myself not to look at Colt when I knew he was still staring at me was torture. I didn’t know what his problem was, other than the fact that I had publicly picked Jake over him. What did he really expect? If this morning was any indication of what the rest of school was going to be like, it was going to be a hell of a year.

  “Tell me that wasn’t Colt Morgan I just saw barreling out of your class all pissed off,” Ella said as soon as I walked out into the hallway. I looked down the hall, completely against my will, to see if I caught sight of him, but he was long gone.

  As soon as the bell had rung, Colt was out of his chair and gone before anyone else could even blink. I stared after him for a second before Jake spoke to me again, telling me he’d see me at lunch. I looked over at Ella and sighed.

  “Unless he suddenly got himself a twin, yes that was Colt coming out of my class,” I answered. We started to walk toward her locker. “Wait,” I said, looking at her, “how did you know what class I was in?”

  She smiled. “I stalk you as a hobby.”

  “How sad for you.”

  She winked. We walked a bit further before she spoke again. “I can’t believe what bad luck you have.”

  “Be more specific,” I said. “There is an endless amount of circumstances to suggest that, so I’m not sure which one you’re referring to.”

  “The fact that Colt has the same home room as you. Now you have to see him first thing in the morning every day.”

  “Ah, that. Yes, well I doubt he’ll even be glancing in my direction after today.”

  Ella grabbed my arm, stopping us in the middle of the busy hallway. A few people called out curses at us, but were gone before I could apologize. Ella couldn’t have cared less.

  “Why do you say that? What happened? Tell me.”

  “Easy, Spanish Inquisition.” I looked up and down the hall before looking back at her. “I might have picked the empty seat beside Jake when both he and Colt asked me to sit with them. Colt possibly, may have seemed mad about it. All hypothetical.”

  “How hypothetical?”

  “As in, not so much hypothetical as definite.”

  Ella’s mouth dropped open. “You picked to sit with Jake when Colt had asked you to sit with him?”

  I nodded.

  A slow smile lifted the corners of her mouth until she was grinning like the Joker. I half expected her to say “why so serious?” Thankfully she didn’t.

  Instead she did something even more disturbing. She started jumping and clapping happily in the middle of the hallway.

  “Quit that,” I said in a hushed voice.

  “Ollie! Don’t you see what you did?”

  “I think I picked sitting beside one boy over another, but I’m sure your take on it is going to be completely different.”

  She continued like I hadn’t just spoken. “You basically just said “fuck you” to Colt Morgan, and will continue to do so every time you sit in your seat during class. Colt Morgan! No one says fuck you to him! It’s no wonder he looked so pissed when he came out.” She cackled. Literally, cackled. “That boy doesn’t know who he’s messing with!”

  “I’m pretty sure he knows me,” I said dryly.

  Ella rolled her eyes and grabbed my arm again, dragging me down the hall. “It’s game on, Ollie. If he asked you to sit with him, he obviously isn’t going to ignore you like he did over the summer. Maybe he realizes what a douche he was. And then you went and threw it back in his face. God, I love you.”

  “First of all, there is no game, and it is not on. I don’t want to start anything. I just didn’t want to sit with him. No big deal.”

  She snorted. “I can guarantee Colt did not want you to sit with Jake, so it is definitely a big deal. Those two never got along. May I remind you of the DQ parking lot fiasco? Those two practically started a cage match over you right then and there.”

  “I think you’re exaggerating.”

  “I never exaggerate.”

  Twelve

  Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen. – Leonardo da Vinci

  Colt

  The sound of my tray hitting the table echoed around us. Rannon jumped, looking up from his cell phone in confusion.

  “You and the tray having a fight?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

  I sat down across from him, digging into the fries without answering.

  “This wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with Olivia Banks, would it?” Briggs asked, flopping down beside me. I forced myself not to react, but I couldn’t hide the way just her name made my entire body stiffen from my best friend. He was watching me carefully when I happened to glance up at him, ignoring Brigg’s questions.

  “What about Olivia Banks?” Rannon asked Briggs, keeping his eyes on me.

  I looked away, focusing on my food. I didn’t want to talk about it because I was still pissed about it and didn’t want to say anything that would further embarrass me. I was even more pissed that I was pissed to begin with. Since when did I care about a girl like this? So what if she picked to sit with Jake Taylor. What the hell did I care? Except I did. I really did. It had been slowly boiling inside me more and more as the day went on. I couldn’t focus on any of my other classes knowing that tomorrow morning I was going to have to sit across from her again and watch Jake Taylor sweet-talk her all period. It was going to kill me.

  “Rumour has it Olivia chose to be Jake’s partner over Colt’s right in front of the class,” Briggs said with a snicker. Rannon was smart enough not to laugh. He knew me well enough to know when I was genuinely upset about something. Briggs on the other hand? Not so much. If he didn’t watch it, I was going to have to show him exactly why it wasn’t funny.

  No getting in trouble today, I reminded myself. The last thing I needed was to be sent to the office on the first day for getting in a fight with one of my friends.

  “Looks like little Miss. Artist likes her men clean-cut and rich,” Briggs went on with zero sense of self-preservation. Anyone who looked at me would know I was teetering on a thin edge right then. “Colt’s bad boy rep must be too much for her to handle.”

  “Interesting,” was all Rannon said. I looked back at him to see what he was really thinking, but he wasn’t giving away much.

  “I bet that chick is a virgin,” Briggs said, unwisely. “I’d like to –”

  He didn’t finish. And I didn’t manage to stay out of trouble after all. One of the teachers pulled me off him before I could do more than get one good hit in. Briggs held his cheek, his eyes wide in shock.

  “You really need to learn when to shut up, Briggs,” Rannon said with a shake of his head.

  “You calm now?”

  I looked back and saw it was Mr. Norton who was holding me. Great. If only he knew that it was his class that was causing all these problems. I nodded and he let go of me, watching me closely to make sure I wasn’t going to go back at Briggs as soon as he stepped away.

  “Briggs, go get some ice on that,” he said. “Colt, you’d better go have a talk with Ms. Kelly.”

  I sighed. Ms. Kelly was my guidance councillor and royal pain in the ass. I could already picture her face when I walked in, that expression that said she knew I was going to end up across from her at some point today. I hated know-it-alls.

  Leaving my food, I turned and headed out of the cafeteria, avoiding all the curious stares from the othe
r students.

  “Hey, Colt,” Reagan said as she walked through the door as I approached it. She flipped her hair and batted her eyelashes at me like it was rehearsed. How had I ever thought someone like her was attractive? All the girls I’d dated, and I use that term loosely, were all the same. Every move, every look perfectly planned and executed. I was about to say something, possibly something rude considering my mood right then, when Ella, Jenn, and Olivia walked in behind her.

  Ella and Jenn were busy talking. Olivia on the other hand looked about as uncomfortable as a man in a lingerie store. Her eyes had been moving over the student body already occupying tables before they finally made their way to me. I could see Reagan glancing between us but I couldn’t look away from those green eyes. I realized I’d missed them a lot, even though I’d hardly had time to grow accustom to them to begin with. I didn’t think I’d ever grow tired of looking at them.

  Knowing Reagan’s penchant for trouble though, I forced myself to look away so Olivia wouldn’t become some target. “Hey Reagan,” I finally said. “Jenn.”

  Hair flip – check. Eyelashes batting – check. Flirty smile – check. Annoying giggle – double check. “Hey Colt,” she replied. “Looking good.”

  I gave her a quick smile before looking to her left. “Ella,” I greeted. Ella folded her arms across her chest and gave me the frostiest glare. If I’d been a lesser man I would have shrunk away with my tail between my legs, as she probably expected me to. Instead I found myself fighting back a smile. I liked Ella, even more now that I could see what a good friend she was. I wasn’t stupid and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why she was pissed at me.

  Finally I looked back to Olivia and nodded my head at her. “Olivia.”

  She gave me a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes. It screamed of simple civility and it utterly pissed me off. Even more than I already was. “Colt,” she said in a controlled voice. The urge to grab her and shake her and tell her just to yell at me or something filled me. This cold indifference was not going to fly in my books.