She takes her home-made iced tea from the fridge and pours me a tall glass. "Maybe you are right," she says pensively.
"Of course I am right," I smile.
"And what about you and this boy? You sounded like you were very much in love, and that is supposed to be over only a few days later?" she suddenly corners me. That's my mom. First she agrees to give me time, and then she overruns me like that.
"Delsin really hurt me. It happened a few hours after you and I talked on the phone. Anyway, I ended it, because I sensed it would destroy me if I let it continue. And that ... is also the reason why ... I dropped out of college," I tell her, becoming quieter as I talk.
"You did what?" she asks, sounding upset.
"I dropped out of the Florida program. I want to continue my studies in Texas. That way, I'll be closer to you. You won't believe how badly homesick I have been."
She sighs. "Your father is not going to like this."
"I know, but do we need to tell him at all? He transfers the money to your account, and you send it to the college. He never paid any child support, so why shouldn't he keep paying tuition now? Plus, the University of Texas also has a department of science. I want to come home, mom. Florida was beautiful, and I liked being independent, but I was also very, very lonely."
"Even with Hailey and Thalia?" she wants to know.
"Yes. They were out with other people all the time. Don't get me wrong, they took me along if I wanted too, but I didn't feel comfortable with all this man-hunting going on. I wanted to focus on my studies, and not deal with love affairs most of the time," I explain.
Mom takes a deep breath and studies me with her warm, brown eyes. "Have you written to the college already?"
I nod. "Yes. They said they'd get back to me after processing my grades."
"And did you and Delsin break up properly, or did you simply run away?"
"We broke up properly. We even said goodbye afterwards, if that's anything to go by."
Mom rubs her eyes. "I hope you know what you're doing, Cami. I really hope so."
"I'm doing the right thing." At least that is what I keep telling myself.
She crosses her arms in front of her chest and shakes her head. "That is not what I mean. You dreamed of studying in Florida and finding true love. Now it seems you've had both and threw it away. Cami, I know I am only your mom and my advice may get on your nerves, but please take this one piece of advice to heart, will you?"
"Okay," I agree, making it sound like a question.
"Once you found love - and believe me, last week you sounded as if you had found the love of your life - you don't throw it away. This boy Delsin changed you. I can see it in the way you are sitting here, across from me, in the way you speak. And yet you have remained and will always be my little girl. You are downright radiant whenever you talk about the young man, even though he may have hurt you. Try to get all those things straight so you know you did not make a grave mistake," she says with an urgency in her voice that is unfamiliar to me. I've never heard her speak like that, so I am too surprised to answer.
"Or did you talk to him about it all?" she insists, tying up her light brown hair into a ponytail at the same time.
"More than once, I did, but not in detail I guess," I explain once I find my voice again.
Mom leans on the counter across from me and studies me. "And yet he was your first," she states.
"How do you know?" I ask, shocked. Granted, she got me there, but how on earth did she know?
"A mother notices things like that."
My eyebrow quirks up. "Which of the girls did you talk to?"
She sighs. "You and I simply cannot fool each other," she smiles. When my mom smiles, everything else is forgotten. She can fill any room with warmth. Of course her loving personality has a part in this, too, but every time she gives me that smile, I am reassured that things are going to be okay.
"I talked to Thally on the phone. She called me after this thing happened," my mother admits. "And I think you ought to believe him. He showed up that night to explain. He needn't have done that, and wouldn't have, if he didn't care so much about you. And I also know what a parting scene the two of you delivered, because Hailey told me. Cami, just call this boy and invite him here. Down here, there'll be none of his groupies, or those of his dad, who want to take him from you. Here, you are home and safe. So if this Delsin guy is getting on your nerves, you can tell Buck to kick his ass back to Miami, okay?"
I laugh a little. "I don't think Buck can kick quite so hard."
"What is it I can't kick hard enough?" the man asks as he enters the kitchen.
"Nothing, darling. Go sit down in the living room and watch TV, so Cami and I can continue our mother-daughter-conversation," my mom giggles.
He goes to her and kisses her on the cheek, proceeds to the fridge, grabs a can of soda and then announces: "Alright, my beauties. Even though I am dying to know who or what I was supposed to kick, and why, but as you don't seem inclined to tell me, I'll go and watch the movie I've recorded last night." He winks at me. Buck is the world's biggest fan of Westerns, so I assume that is what he'll be watching. He leaves the kitchen sipping on his soda can.
When he is gone, I stare at my mom pensively. "Give me a few weeks so I can get over it, then I'm going to call him, okay?"
"No. You're going to get this sorted out while you're still knee-deep in it, or you never will, honey."
My jaw drops. "Is it possible that y'all are conspiring when it comes to Delsin Rough?"
"No again. But I am your mother, and mothers always know better," she smirks. Then she turns to the stove and switches the oven on. "Tonight we're having your favorite food, by the way."
"Pepperoni pizza," I swoon.
"When has that become your favorite food?"
I laugh. "I'm looking forward to your broiled chicken, mom. I only wanted to put you on."
She grins. "You're just as bad as Buck when it comes to teasing me."
"I know. He taught me how it works." I take a large sip from my iced tea. These are the little things I have been missing most while I was in Florida. Kitchen conversations with my mom, while she is cooking and I am telling her stuff.
"Steve is supposed to be here for dinner, too."
"And?"
"Nothing. I merely thought you'd want to know. We expected you much later, too, but I guess you are almost an as reckless driver as your father is," she says.
My dad is always speeding, and I have to admit I like to step on the gas, too.
"I would have been here much earlier, if I hadn't spent three hours in a jam upstate, mom."
"If you drive carefully, at least."
"I do. I admit I sometimes drive fast, but I am really careful, believe me," I assure her.
"I know, but I can't help being worried, ever since the accident. Buck even had to keep me from following you to Coral Gables a few times," she admits as she stirs something in a pot on the stove.
"Then I ought to thank Buck for that," I giggle. "But now I'll go take a shower and change, so the Texas girl in me can come out again."
"Yes, do that. I like seeing you in boots, denim and a plaid shirt," she says. I slide from my stool and walk over to her. When I stand next to her, I hug her and press a kiss on her cheek. "You're the best, mom," I whisper, leave the kitchen and go upstairs.
***
The shower has wrought wonders. I feel energized and happy, and also glad I was able to shed the grime and sadness of the long trip. Now I am wearing a pair of jeans, a thin top and a plaid men's shirt on top. Next, I put on my cowboy boots. When I am completely dressed, I look at myself in the mirror, put my hair in a ponytail and my white Stetson on my head. Then I walk down the stairs and call out: "Ready for a Texas girl?"
"We sure are, ma'am," Buck yells back.
I saunter into the living room and tie the tails of my shirt into a knot. When I stand before him, he looks me up and down. "Now you're looking like my little girl aga
in," he smiles.
I lean forward, take the black hat from his head and breathe a kiss on the spot where his hair is thinning. Then I place his Stetson back on his head.
"Steve is helping your mom in the kitchen," he says.
"Oh, great!" I say and clap my hands excitedly.
I whistle These Boots are made for Walking as I walk into the kitchen. "I'm back in Texas," I announce with a broad smile as I walk through the door. Steve has changed a lot during the time I was away. He looks much more grown-up and athletic. Or is it just me who sees him differently, because I am no longer the starry-eyed virgin?
"Cami," he blurts when he notices me. "You look great!"
"Thank you, Steve." I must be blushing. I had a crush on him before I left, and somehow, my heart is still beating faster when I see him.
He comes to me and lifts me into his arms, whirling around with me. I hold on tight and laugh, closing my eyes so I won't get sick with the motion. "It's so great to see you." Then he sets me down again.
"Yes, great to see you, too," I say, swaying a little. I feel slightly dizzy.
Steve holds me steady. "So how are you? I've heard you want to come back for good?"
I smile. "I am back already, but yes, I have inquired at the local university, because I've been feeling so homesick."
"So you're staying?" he asks.
"That's not decided yet," mom interrupts.
"Mom," I say, drawing the word out to sound annoyed.
"No, Cami. We're going to talk this over with George. And if he is as opposed to it as I am, you're going to stay in Miami and finish your studies there. Don't let a boy destroy the dreams you have," she says with determination.
George is my father. We don't talk much, and I am pretty sure he won't be on my side in this.
"Dad is going to say no, that much is clear," I grumble.
"If that is the case, it means you are overruled and will go back to Miami after the summer is over."
"When do you intend to talk to him, mom?" I want to know. I have a mind to throw a teenage tantrum, but I manage to refrain from that and stay calm. On the outside, that is.
"Your dad is away on a business trip, so it is going to have to wait. We're having this conversation as soon as he's back and has the time," she answers patiently.
"Oh great, so I can sit on tenterhooks and wait," I whine.
"That's what it looks like, and now lay the table please," she says, causing me to utter a sigh of resignation. This has got to be a very bad joke!
"I wished there was a reset button for crap days ... I'd push it right now," I murmur.
"I heard that," mom calls.
"You were supposed to," I gripe. Then I take plates and cutlery from the cabinets to lay the table.
Steve helps me, but I am distracted now. The wonderful day has darkened since my mom and I have argued, and she obviously changed her mind completely. It's rather late anyway, so I think I'll head to bed as soon as dinner is over and done with.
"Did you call and tell your girl friends that you made it here safely?" mom wants to know.
I shake my head. "Not yet. I'll call them tomorrow; I don't feel like it today."
"Okay." She starts putting the bowls and the chicken plate on the table. "Buck, dinner is ready," she calls.
"On my way," his deep voice comes booming back. He reminds me a little of Bruce Willis. His voice, that is. He comes into the kitchen and sits down in his accustomed spot. Mom sits down across from him, and Steve and I take the remaining seats, so we also sit across from each other now. A large part of my appetite has vanished, so I only take a little bit of everything, after they have all loaded their plates. When I want to start eating, mom stops me. "We haven't said grace yet, Cami," she reminds me.
"Are you kidding me?" I answer, feeling annoyed to no end.
"Yes," she smiles. "So much for the teasing."
"Got me," I admit in my small voice. Then I start picking at my food. Buck and Steve are talking about the animals, about the horses needing new shoes, while mom and I merely listen.
When my plate is empty, I get up and place it in the sink. "No offense, but I need a little fresh air," I excuse myself and walk out. I want to call Ave and let him know that I am okay.
Outside I sit in the porch swing and look up at the stars.
"Thanks for playing me for a sucker again, god," I say softly. Then I take out my phone and dial Ave's number.
"Sweetie Tweetie," he calls into the phone. "How are you? Did you make it home safely?"
"Hi, Ave. Yeah, I'm fine," I smile. "How are you, and how's the rest of the gang?"
"I am fine, even though I think I mucked it up with Pearl. She's not going to let me get into her pants after all. Thally and Hailey are okay, too, they're busy packing up. And Delsin ... he's still suffering like a dog," he says.
I sigh. "Is he home?"
"Yeah. He hasn't come out from his room for two days straight, and I might have heard him cry a little, but I can't say for sure. He misses you like hell. Wednesday morning he went ballistic because you left. He wanted to punch Ethan in the face, but I was able to jump his back and keep him pinned to the floor, until he calmed the shit down again," he tells me.
"Is that Camille?" I hear Delsin's voice in the background. He sounds very hoarse.
"One moment," Ave says.
"Okay."
"Yes, that's her. Shall I tell her anything?" Ave asks.
"Tell her I miss her," Delsin says.
"Will do ..." There's a rustle in the line. "Did you hear that, Sweets?"
"I did. Tell him I need some time before I can talk to him again. This ... turmoil inside has got to calm down first, and then I'm going to have to deal with my parents, to convince them that I need to switch colleges," I explain.
"So you want to study in Texas, but they're not happy with that?" Ave asks.
"Yes, that about sums it up. Mom wants me to clear up things with Delsin, and she wants to talk college over with my dad. If things don't go my way, I'll be back in Coral Gables when the new semester starts."
There's a ruckus in the background. "Tell her I'll be on my way in a few minutes," Delsin calls.
"Wait a minute. Rewind, please. What?" I ask.
"Um ... Sweets? I had put the call on the speaker so he could hear you, too," Ave admits sheepishly.
"What?" Now I sound hysterical. "You've got to stop him, Ave. I need time, and I don't want him to be here now."
"I'm going to talk him out of it. We'll talk again later, or tomorrow, okay?" Ave says.
"Okay, and thank you, Ave."
We both hang up. I put my phone back into the pocket of my jeans and give the swing a small push, letting my eyes roam the premises. I have grown up here, and I belong here. I am not made for Miami, and I simply want to live my life here, in peace. I hear footsteps and look over at the screen door. Steve comes out, two steaming cups in his hands, smiling at me. "Looks like you could use a cup of hot chocolate right now." He sits next to me and hands me one of the cups.
"Thank you," I say softly and take it, take a sip.
"What is it you're running away from?" he asks.
"The love of my life, as mom calls it. I think," I tell him, feeling pensive.
"Why?"
I pull my right leg up and place the foot underneath my left thigh. "He hurt me, even though he insists I got it all wrong."
"This Delsin Rough guy?" he asks.
"What do you know about him?"
"Your mom told me, after you talked on the phone last week, and then she spoke with Hailey and Thalia, who filled her in afterwards," Steve recounts and takes a sip of his chocolate.
"What would you do?" I ask him. "If you saw that your girlfriend, who used to be a maneater, kisses another guy. And then she says it wasn't her fault because the guy threw off his clothes and jumped her." I need the advice of someone who is further outside of the circle, or else I'll go crazy. Somehow, everyone seems to be on Delsin's side, even my g
irl friends, who were always putting him down. Now they are certain that Delsin told me the truth. Ave thinks the same, and so does my mom.
"I think that, after I'd have beaten the guy up, I'd listen to what she has to say, and then I'd tell her that she's going to have to fight for me. I wouldn't simply throw it all overboard, because once you find love, you mustn't let it go so easily. From what I've heard, Delsin is rather popular with the ladies, but he has chosen you. He would be stupid if he hadn't, too, but that is merely my humble opinion. The question is do you love him, Camille?" Steve asks, sounding genuinely interested.
I need a few deep breaths before I can look into his icy blue eyes. "I don't know. It felt wonderful to be with him. To talk to him, to laugh with him, to kiss him, it was all ... wow! And when I saw that girl Cay sitting on his lap, I felt as if my heart would break into tiny little pieces, as if someone had stuck a stick of dynamite into it and lit it. I cried for a whole night and felt awful. I skipped my last week of classes and came home early," I explain despondently.
"What do you feel when you think of him? Hatred or love? What does it feel like?" he wants to know.
"It is a warm feeling, in spite of it all. First of all, it is nice to think of him, but then I get sad."
Steve puts an arm around me. "I don't like saying this, Cami, but you are running away from him. The way your eyes light up when you mention the guy, you're head over heels for him."
I put my head on his shoulder. "You really think so?"
"What was your reason for leaving him?" he asks.
"That it would destroy me in the long run," I admit sheepishly.
"Well, Cami, that's what love is like. Maybe you haven't realized this yet, but you're going to regret this decision a few years from now. What if he is the one you ought to live your life with, and you push him away. It is in the nature of relationships that people sometimes hurt each other, but then you also catch each other when you fall. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I made the mistake of letting Davina go. I've been feeling like half a man ever since," he urges.
Rough: Daunting Temptation (Coral Gables Series Book 1) Page 14
