The Highlander Who Saved Me (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 2)

by Allie Palomino

  “Ye’re telling me that he wouldna care about having a bairn with the enemy?”

  “Nay! A bairn born out of a marriage is in a much better position than one born out of bastardry, even if the legitimate heir is half English and an enemy.”

  “So he would keep the bairn and send her off?” Sean snorted.

  “Aye, havena I said as much!” Patrick snapped, annoyed.

  Maddie’s hand covered her stomach protectively and continued listening on. No, he wouldn’t keep the baby!

  “To make matters more interesting, Laird Connor asked for a ransom. Many letters were exchange between the two parties. He thought it would be a waste not to. He never anticipated that her family wouldna care about her, much less nay even give a fig in exchange for her return.”

  Maddie felt ashamed. She hastily wiped the tears from her eyes.

  “Aye, and Laird Connor referred to a child of their union as a bastard bairn touched by the devil’s hands.”

  “Patrick, why would he refer to his heir by such a description?” he asked doubtfully. He pushed the other man.

  “Watch it, damn it,” he said, rubbing his shoulder. “I doona know, Sean. I repeat what I hear. He got what he wanted, though, for Lady Madeleine is in love with Connor and she willingly went to his bed. Aye, he got what he wanted alright.”

  Those words brought back the memory of their wedding night when she had foolishly told him she wished she could give him a gift. He’d said that he’d gained what he wanted.

  Sean pushed Patrick playfully. “Ye’re like a gossiping woman.”

  Patrick snickered. “Aye, but tell me that wasna a bit of juicy gossip.”

  Sean laughed. “Aye, it was.”

  Maddie turned and left. Tears streamed down her face as she raced for the castle. Katie spotted her and stopped her.

  “What is the matter, Maddie?”

  “I’m not feeling well, Katie. Please, I must go rest,” Maddie said and hurriedly left.

  Miriam was nearby.

  “It’s alright, Katie. Leave her. She’ll be fine,” Miriam said, smiling inwardly. Aye, the bairn was making Maddie ill, but in time, she’d feel better.

  Once upstairs, Maddie closed the door and everything started spinning.

  No!

  Get a hold of yourself.

  There was more at risk than just her life. Her baby was in jeopardy. In the anteroom, Maddie searched Connor’s desk for the letters. Part of her was hoping she wouldn’t fine them. She hoped that what she heard the men talking about was a delusion she’d had in the hot sun.

  Maddie found them and her legs failed beneath her. She fell on the floor with the letters in hand and read them. Even her own letters to her father were there.

  How foolish she had been!

  She had been foolish and naïve!

  More tears glided down her face. She hadn’t wanted to believe what Patrick said but now she had evidence.

  It was all a lie!

  Her marriage.

  His love.

  Lies. They were all lies. Everything between them was a lie.

  Hate.

  He hated her.

  All of them knew? Miriam? Katie? Did they? Was that why Miriam was happy? Because she was getting a legitimate grandchild from her marriage-loathing son?

  To think that Connor had lied to her about being saved. He really thought she was damned.

  A bastard bairn touched by the devil’s hands!

  Dear Lord, what a foul way to refer to any child.

  Nay.

  Maddie couldn’t allow his poison to destroy her baby. Had Miriam lied about her mother as well? Maddie wondered if Miriam’s mother still lived.

  “What am I going to do?”

  Her mind reeled and her stomach lurched. She ran over to the chamber pot and emptied her stomach. She had to think. She couldn’t stay here, but how could she leave? Maddie rinsed her face with water in an attempt to clear her head.

  There were so many guards! Even if she made it out of Connor’s land, how would she reach the border when she didn’t know which way to go?

  Katie and Miriam. They were leaving to the McLeans.

  “Yes!”

  Perfect. They would lead her to the border. She would have to follow closely behind as if part of the procession. Maddie would follow with her hood. If she could sneak passed the red marker stakes on the east side where the forest was, it would be difficult for the men to see her from the towers.

  Now that a plan was formulated, she gave into her tears. She settled herself on the bed and began to cry. She had never cried like this in her entire life, for nothing hurt her as much as what happened today.

  Connor came in just then. He feigned his alarm. She saw through it and had the urge to vomit again.

  Remain calm. He mustn’t know that you know.

  “What is the matter? Why the tears?” he asked as he came over to the bed. He sat down and reached out to touch her face.

  “Nothing, Connor. I’m just fine,” she responded. She wanted to move her head backwards to avoid his touch but she resisted the urge.

  Miriam lightly tapped the door and came in.

  “Maddie, I brought ye this to drink. It will soothe yer stomach.”

  “What is wrong with her stomach?” Connor asked concerned.

  How deceitful he is.

  And Miriam. How could she have been a part of this?

  Maddie was grateful that Miriam promised her that she wouldn’t tell anyone about the baby. This would give her much needed time. Hadn’t Miriam told her earlier today that Katie agreed to go to the McLeans and that they would be spending a month there?

  Aye! That would be better for her, too.

  Miriam brought Maddie back to the present.

  “She has still been feeling ill, Connor. Ye gave her quite a scare when ye were distant with her. It takes time for the physical symptoms to leave, even though she knows ye love her,” Miriam said, smiling gently.

  Miriam was helping her plan without her even knowing it. Maddie was able to breathe easier.

  “I see,” Connor responded thoughtfully.

  “Yes, Connor. Please understand that Maddie will be moody and emotional for a time. Here, Maddie, take this. This will calm ye. I’ll see ye downstairs.”

  “Are ye certain ye’re alright?” Connor asked when Miriam left.

  “Yes. Please do not worry. Your mother is right. It’ll take some time to adjust back again. Even if it has been a few weeks,” Maddie said, anticipating his next comment.

  That evening, after the meal, Maddie sat by the fire as usual. She couldn’t break habit. He’d see right through it.

  “Are ye ready to go to our chambers?” Connor asked.

  Maddie shook her head. The last thing she wanted was to make love with Connor. Although her heart soared at the thought, her head screamed in refusal.

  Her stupid, dumb, traitorous heart.

  “I would like to stay and knit for a spell longer. I’ll be up shortly.”

  Connor nodded, wanting to give her the room that he felt she needed in order to come to terms with the fact that he indeed, loved her. He looked at her lovingly and went upstairs.

  Maddie sat by the fire and knitted. After a few moments, she felt a presence and looked up. Maura stood there and her appearance gave her goose pimples over her skin.

  “I want ye gone, Madeleine. I’m warning ye to leave, or ye shall pay the consequences,” Maura said, her voice had an eerie note to it.

  Maura’s eyes reflected the barren soul that was housed in her body. She was an ominous presence and Maddie grew very afraid. She felt the evil spewing from her.

  “That is yer last warning. He doesna love ye,” Maura said and turned to leave.

  How right she was.

  Maura stopped again and turned, giving Maddie a blank, ghost-like glower. Empty eyes and a hollow stare made Maddie involuntarily shudder. Maura saw her reaction and flashed a cold, eerie smile, and slowly walked away.
/>   Maddie began trembling and when Maura was gone, she placed her hand over her small growing belly, and rubbed it gently. Maddie was wound so tight, she felt she would soon snap.

  Maura had been right all along.

  Connor didn’t love her.

  And yes, she had to leave.

  *****

  Days later, Maddie’s reprieve from the façade that had become her life came with ease. As it turned out, Connor would be gone for a week to another clan, Munroe or Menzies, she thought she heard him say.

  During the last few days, Maddie had been distant. It was convenient that Connor thought she was still distant because of the incident when she doubted Connor’s love for her. What a fool she had been. She had been right all along to doubt him.

  Maddie couldn’t help but be aloof. Every night she sewed by the fire in their chamber. She was afraid to sew late in the great room after Maura’s threat, and so she always made sure someone was there with her.

  Connor wanted to make love many times but she would always pretend to fall asleep in the chair by the fire. She’d hear him get up, walk towards her, pick her up gently, and carry her to bed. When he placed her down, he’d push her hair back from her face, kiss her forehead, and tell her how much he loved her. It was only once he fell asleep, that she would give in to the tears that burned behind her eyes.

  Her heart was shattered into a million pieces and oh, how she wanted to believe that he really did love her.

  Connor asked her many times whether she was all right. Maddie would always reply that she was. She’d always catch him staring at her, though, no doubt relishing in the fact that he had successfully conquered the enemy.

  Well, he wouldn’t have to feign anything any longer.

  Soon, she’d be gone.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Connor felt her aloofness like a knife in his back. She was distant, and it seemed as if it was one moment to the next. Even though she would say she loved him, he felt a difference in her. He now knew how she probably felt when he had acted the same with her a month earlier. For some reason, though, it was no comfort.

  He felt his heart constrict when he looked at her. She was so nurturing, loving, happy, intelligent, beautiful… Well the list of her virtues could go on and on. She hadn’t wanted to make love, though.

  Nay, he was being overly imaginative.

  Maddie would fall asleep every night by the fire in their chamber. He hadn’t brought himself to ask why she was afraid to be left anywhere alone, especially in the great room. He had noticed her skittish behavior but he didn’t want to make the situation worse. In time, she would come around and tell him, and he would listen and do what he could.

  He would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried. It wasn’t something he relished admitting to, but the worry was there. Many times he just wanted to grab her and hug her, but he didn’t. He knew she needed her space.

  These were the hardest last couple of days that he could remember going through. It became worse when he made the decision to leave the castle for a few days. He had discussed his plans with her for once, but she hadn’t even noticed it. Oddly, it felt good to discuss them with her. Connor had expected her to be sad that they would be separated for a short time but she was emotionless.

  “I’ll be leaving the castle tomorrow for a little over a week’s time.”

  “Really? Why?” she asked, not bothering to look up from her sewing.

  That bothered him, but he made no mention.

  “I’ll be visiting another clan.” He didn’t elaborate.

  “Alright, well, I’ll miss you,” she had said, almost mechanically, still looking down.

  Connor got up and slowly went to her. He leaned down and was inches from her face. She hadn’t heard him approach.

  “Will ye, Maddie? Will ye miss me?” he asked softly.

  Her head snapped up and he saw her glowing golden eyes. They stared at each other for long moments.

  Maddie was held still by his blue gaze. This would be the last time she’d see him. It would be the last time she’d ever lay eyes on his beautiful, lying form.

  She couldn’t hold back anymore.

  The finality of their relationship and their situation hit her. Although he didn’t love her, she loved him. She needed to make love with him again, if only for the last time.

  Connor moved in for the kiss but he didn’t have to go far. Maddie met him halfway. Their lips crashed together like violent waves on the shore during a storm. The kiss, so unlike the other paltry kisses from the last couple of days, was explosive. Tongues met and caressed, and moans were set free from her throat like rays from the sun. Connor took her needlework and tossed it on the ground. He picked her up and placed her on the bed.

  “I have fantasized about making love to ye for so long. It’s been too long, Maddie,” Connor said thickly, mesmerized by her body.

  “It’s only been a week,” she said breathlessly, as she looked into his eyes.

  “Seven days too long, love. Ye are in my blood, in my veins, and in my heart. Ye are my soul,” his voice shook with conviction and emotion. “Every breath I take is for ye, just as every heartbeat is for ye. I am nothing without ye.”

  Maddie’s heart skipped beats. How she wanted to believe everything he was saying. Dear Lord, tonight she would pretend one last time, and she would believe him.

  Tears fell from her eyes. She couldn’t stop them. She was helpless, torn, and devastated.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “I love you!” she yelled brokenly. Her heart felt as if it would explode. Bitterness, hope, and heartbreak warred against each other in her chest, not allowing air into her lungs.

  Maddie’s soul was fragmenting one piece at a time. Her breath was hard to catch. Her mind was screaming at her, telling her to reject him all the while ordering her arms to hug him closer. Her chest seized tighter. She felt physical and emotional pain.

  More tears fell from her eyes.

  “I love you…I love you…” she chanted on and on in an anguished whisper. The words were set free from the prison she’d sealed them in a week ago. She couldn’t stop them if she tried. It seemed as if the words had minds of their own running through the gate of her lips, wanting to be set free from their confinement. Her voice broke and she sobbed. She placed her palms on both sides of his face and murmured thickly, “I love you.”

  Connor studied her, watching the different tormented emotions appear on her beautiful face. He felt his heart stop at the obvious pain on display. But why?

  Connor claimed her mouth. Her primal chants of love flayed his chest open, exposing his beating heart. There was a note of dejection and desperation in her voice that he didn’t understand. He didn’t know how to help her, but he could make her forget.

  His kiss was hot and searing. He quickly took off her clothes and kissed her all over. She clutched his hair and moaned. She was mindless with the pleasure she had denied them over the last week.

  He sucked on her breasts and nuzzled them.

  “Connor!”

  He moved lower, kissing the little bulge of her stomach. He looked up.

  “Ye’re healthier,” he said with a smile, as he kissed her belly. He unknowingly caressed the cocoon where his child was growing.

  “Is that your way of telling me that I’m fat?” she asked, laughing. It felt good to laugh again.

  “That’s my way of telling ye that I love yer body, Maddie. The body that will one day carry my heir.”

  She gasped at how close to the truth he was, and at the reminder that he had indeed wanted an heir from her.

  And that was all he wanted from her.

  Before the pain could shoot into her heart again, she gasped and groaned as Connor licked the very heat of her.

  “Nay, Connor! ‘Tis not right!”

  “It is verra right!” Connor said and delved in.

  His tongue licked her and he sucked on her nub of pleasure. Maddie’s hips lurched upwards and she
screamed out his name. Her hips moved with a grinding rhythm.

  Connor responded to her cries. He licked her and sucked on her, as her moans drove him to the brink of insanity. He felt her beginning to unravel and felt the tremors as her release racked her body. He moved back up, kissing a trail from her belly to her breasts.

  Connor was perched above her and thrust deeply into her tightness. She didn’t want him to go slow. She pulled him within her forcefully. Her nails dug into his back while her moans enveloped him. He was mindless, feeding off her like a starved man. His back arched, and beads of sweat covered his body and hers. He let loose a lusty, savage, and guttural groan as he pumped into her. His hips snapped with fierce energy and speed.

  Maddie was mindless now. All that she knew and felt at that moment was Connor deeply imbedded in her. Her moans rivaled his own.

  Connor massaged the nub hidden in her slick folds and Maddie felt her passage tighten in ecstasy. She chanted his name again, mindless to the pleasure he was giving her. Her body was slick with seat. The blood pumping in her veins had a potent drug that made her hover over the edge of bliss. Finally, his hard thrusts took their fire to a new heat and both of them erupted in an explosion.

  “I love you!” she screamed and chanted it again. Tears washed down her face.

  Connor’s roar of pleasure shook the rafters. He looked down at her, clenching his teeth while breathing through his mouth as he slowly descended from Heaven. She was looking up at him with a weird light in her golden gaze but it was gone in the next blink. The aftershocks of his release made him close his eyes again and groan. He slowly caught his breath and settled on his back, bringing her into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder.

  Connor felt invincible and connected to Maddie once again.

  Maddie felt as if her world was ending. She felt as if the happiness she just experienced would always be a memory, never to be visited again.

  She played with the thick mat of chest hair. Tears came forward as she realized it would be the last time that she would share this- share the same bed and breathe the same air.