The Highlander Who Saved Me (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 2)
Page 22
“What is the matter?” he asked as he turned her chin upwards.
She shook her head, while the damned betraying tears fell.
“Tell me, my love,” he said softly.
“I just love you so much,” she said in an anguish whisper that tore at him. Fresh tears streamed down her rosy cheeks.
Finally, he thought. She was breaking through the walls that kept her from him.
“I love ye, too,” he said thickly and kissed her again.
They had made slow, sweet love twice more before giving in to sleep.
The next morning, Connor had left without waking her. Maddie thought about it as she packed her satchel. She carried three dresses that had been let out to accommodate her new and growing size. She also packed food and a lot of it. She had to travel relatively light, though, in the interests of speed and time.
Maddie feigned goodbye to Miriam and Katie when they left. Miriam pulled her aside to say that she couldn’t wait to celebrate the conception of the bairn when they returned.
Maddie inwardly laughed.
Never!
Maddie left the letter she wrote to Connor on the desk. She couldn’t go without letting him know about her feelings.
Maddie had observed others during the last few days, and timed her actions carefully.
The stable master always took noon breaks and Maddie sneaked in. She grabbed a mare, and thank the Lord she was already saddled. Maddie pulled on the hooded wrap loosely around her, not bothering to tie it on. She waited until she saw them pass, counted to twenty, and followed.
They wouldn’t know she was there. She would follow closely behind, but with enough distance between them. After all, she was the best at Hide-and-Go-Seek, and at the moment, she was hiding and no one was seeking.
Maddie followed, but they were going at a rough pace. She went into a full gallop and the hood flew off her shoulders and into the loch furthest from the castle.
She looked back but didn’t dare to stop. It would take too much time and effort to retrieve it, and she didn’t have enough of either. Besides, she didn’t want to lose her ‘escort’.
Maddie was beyond frightened. Terrified was more like it. Hadn’t Connor warned her not to put her safety at risk? Aye, but what did it matter? It was all a lie! It had all been a lie. How long would this trip last? How long to reach the border?
She would have to rest when they stopped. She would have to do as they did, but she would make it. It had taken nearly a week when Connor had brought her to Keisealle. It might take a little longer because Miriam and Katie traveled and would probably require breaks.
It would be just enough time, too. Connor would return to Keisealle when Maddie reached the border. It couldn’t have worked out better.
Maddie had stuffed a feather pillow in the bed and let black fibers show through so that any who entered would think it was her head resting and sleeping. They wouldn’t bother her if they thought she was resting.
Nay.
They knew she still slept a lot.
Her hand moved to her belly.
Maddie was starting to show. Even Connor noticed when they made love. He noticed her little pouch forming. By her guess, she was about three months along.
She would be damned if anyone would take the baby from her, even if she was in love with the one who would attempt it.
Chapter Thirty
A week and a half passed and Connor returned to the castle. He was eager to see his wife, to feast his eyes on her again like a hungry man did food. He remembered the last night of passion they shared. His cock stirred.
Connor dismounted from the steed and stalked towards the castle. He searched the keep for her and he couldn’t find her. He asked everyone and they all responded that they hadn’t seen her. To his alarm, some even said it had almost been a week since they saw her or spoke to her. He searched the grounds thinking maybe she was playing Hide-and-Go-Seek. Connor asked the children Maddie was usually with whether they had been with her earlier that day. Gretchen’s response nearly felled him to the floor.
“Nay, Layord! I’ve not seen hor for a long time!”
Connor squatted down.
“What are ye saying, Gretchen? Has she not come out to play or have ye not seen her at all?”
Gretchen shook her head, tears coming to her eyes.
“No one pays me attention, Layord. I told them Maddie hasna played with us. I havena seen hor!” She stood there in front of him, twirling her blond hair.
Connor let little Gretchen go back to the care of her father and rushed up to their chamber.
Calm down.
Maddie had been overly tired as of late. That was why she hadn’t been playing with the children. Maddie wouldn’t leave Gretchen alone for so long, though. He knew that Gretchen idolized Maddie, and Maddie would never trample on the little girl’s feelings.
Connor went to their chambers and it was in immaculate condition. Everything was as it should have been and that scared the hell out of him. Although Maddie kept things tidy and clean, this was just too sterile and too orderly. It was almost as if it were unlived in.
He entered the bedroom and looked at the bed and felt relief sweep over him.
Of course! She was sleeping. Aye, she had probably been sleeping through the day and by the time she woke, believed that it was too late to play with the children.
Connor walked over to the bed and slowly eased the covers back in order to slip in. He stopped midway and the blood drained from his face. His heart was beating at twice the normal speed.
A stuffed pillow and black threads to mock her hair was all he found.
The room moved in on him as he spun around in a circle.
Where was she?
Who had her?
More importantly, how would he get to her?
*****
Connor mobilized nearly a hundred of his men to comb the grounds in search of Maddie. Every moment that passed, she could be getting further and further away.
He couldn’t think straight. It was as if a raw emptiness invaded the center of his chest, which he knew wouldn’t go away until he held Maddie in his arms. Everyone tried to reason with him, though. Malcolm, Iain, Kiel, and his men in command tried their best but it was futile.
What if something had already happened?
He wanted to yell with anguish. She was his life.
He stood in front of the fire in the great room after his men prodded him to take a respite. He looked into the fire, mesmerized by the flames as he recalled their own passionate love. The yellow flames in her eyes were more beautiful than these that he looked upon now. These were mocking Maddie’s golden glow.
He had a third cupful of strong spirits. His eyes were red. He wouldn’t sleep until she was back home and in his arms.
Damn it!
He threw a ceramic pitcher into the fireplace and it shattered.
Iain and Malcolm came in just at that moment.
“I was supposed to protect her!” he bellowed in anguish. “Who took her? How?”
“‘Twas nay yer fault, Connor. Calm down, for anger will not help us now,” Malcolm said.
“Night is falling and she is missing, Father! Only God knows since when she’s been missing. She is so delicate and innocent! Damn it,” he said. “Damn it!” he roared, pounding his hands into the stone.
“The search-” Malcolm began to say, but was interrupted by Connor.
“The search will continue until she is found,” Connor said flatly. He backed away from the mocking flames of the fireplace and left the room.
Malcolm knew his son wouldn’t listen to him. He felt it best to stop for the night, for without the moon, there wouldn’t be sufficient light. Connor felt differently.
Connor searched with his men once again. He explored throughout the night and well into midday the following day. The stable master approached Connor and Connor sensed something amiss. What news awaited him? His patience was short at the moment, so he egged the man t
o get on with his news.
“What is it?” Connor asked impatiently.
“The light mare is gone. I’ve only just noticed,” the stable master said.
“What do ye mean? How could ye have only just noticed this?”
“She tends to free herself and wander. When I saw no trace of her, I thought it odd. Then I heard of our lady’s disappearance and I decided to come to ye now.”
Connor nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Charlie was a good stable master. Connor didn’t doubt that. Although he was angry, he wasn’t about to explode on him.
The search continued well into the next day and nothing turned up. Connor decided to search the outer limits of his land for himself. He had already sent warriors riding out since the first day of Maddie’s disappearance but they turned up nothing. He sent out fresh warriors after their return and continued the rotation, keeping them searching on the outskirts of Ramsay land.
He was growing frantic.
Dear Lord, please protect her.
Connor felt desolation nearly choking him by the throat. He hadn’t taken a full lungful of air since he returned home the day before last.
It was during midday on the second day when David, one of his men, called out to him. He pointed to something in the loch. This loch in particular was the largest in the area, and it was located towards the outer limits of Ramsay land.
“There, laird. I see something!”
Connor looked in and saw it, too. Please don’t let it be. Please, Lord!
He reached down and grabbed it.
It was Maddie’s gray hood and it was torn and ripped.
“Dear Lord!” Hugh breathed in.
Connor began to shake his head. The hood had teeth marks.
“Nay!” Connor yelled and his echo bounced everywhere around them. “NAY!”
Connor made to jump in, but his men wouldn’t allow it.
“Damn it! Get away! Let me in!”
Iain came just in time.
“Nay, Connor! This loch is wide and large. Treacherous animals live in its depths,” Iain cautioned.
“But she’s…but she’s…” His hand lifted in futility. He couldn’t say the words and neither could anyone else. Iain tried to come up with anything to justify Maddie’s hood in the loch.
“Connor, she may have lost this while going by,” Iain said, but saw that his words had no effect on Connor.
“Continue the search,” he ordered, and took the hood with him as he stalked back to the castle.
Connor went up to their room and searched it. He was looking for her hood, hoping that the one he held in his hand wasn’t hers. After not finding another, he had to face the fact that it really was Maddie’s.
He sank down in the chair by the hearth as despair and fatigue swept over him. He rubbed his hand over his face, distress squeezing him like a vice around his chest. He had not slept in over two days.
He wouldn’t give up!
He stood and walked out of the sleeping chamber and into his anteroom. As he passed his desk, he saw a note with his name on the outside.
He recognized it as her handwriting.
His heart beat with renewed vigor as he opened the parchment. He read the letter.
Dearest Connor,
I have discovered the truth about Katie’s violation and the motives surrounding my presence here. I know that it was one of my brothers who assaulted her and I also know that you sought vengeance by seducing me. You are the victor, Connor. You successfully seduced me and I unsuspectingly went to your bed each night under the deception that you loved me. I understand now that it was a façade, for the only love that was present in our relationship was mine for you. Our marriage has now died, as has the trust we once had. Aye, and you were successful there, too. You made me fall in love you. Well, now you are free of me, but at least some of my dignity remains. I have felt much pain in my life and all of the pain commenced when you entered into it. Now we are both free. You can return to being the insufferable unattached man once more, and I will never again feel the pain you caused me, for in escaping, I have become free. I often wonder how many people were involved in this farce. Mayhap they were people I also loved.
When you read this letter, it will be too late. I will be taking the most precious gift God gave us. Don’t try to find me, for your efforts will be for naught. My soul is journeying to a place I thought I’d never see, and I’ll be closer to the Lord in a different way than I had ever thought I would be. I am leaving the marriage ring behind. It is a family heirloom. Perhaps one day, you’ll give it to a woman whom you truly love, and not one you secretly despised as you hated me. This life holds nothing for me any longer, and so I leave it, and you, behind.
Goodbye forever,
Maddie
And our child would have never been a bastard bairn touched by the devil’s hands.
The last sentence was scribbled harshly, which was at odds with the smooth elegance of the above script. It was as if it was written in an afterthought.
Iain, Malcolm, and Kiel were standing at the door. Connor hadn’t noticed them, nor had he noticed that he read the contents of the letter aloud.
Connor sank to his knees and let out a roar of anguish. He had seen her dejected and quiet but never had he thought that she knew. Never had he thought that she would take her own life.
He let out another bellow of agony as tears fell from his eyes. He should have told her himself! Connor lifted his shaking hands before him and looked at them with wide unseeing eyes. He might as well have killed her with them since he had led her down this path. His breath came in short and irregular pants. The veins in his face were engorged and bulging. He beat his chest like a madman. He slammed his hands against his chest to restart his heart.
He didn’t feel it.
She took it with him.
It felt as if it were ripped out of him. Breath eluded capture, as he felt as if he was drowning.
“How did she find out! Who told her?” he said in a shouted.
Strained moments of silence passed.
“It doesna matter. I should have told her! I should have told her!” he kept saying hoarsely. “Maddie!...Maddie!” he roared.
Despair moved into his bones and swept into his soul. He sounded like a wounded animal. Connor began shaking his head, eyes wide and horrified.
Denial slowly took over.
She wouldna take her life. She wouldna.
Malcolm walked over to his son.
“Son, ‘tis not yer fault,” he said, placing a hand on Connor’s shoulder.
Connor shook it off and quickly got to his feet. He wiped the tears away and shook his head.
“Nay. She is not dead! Nay! Keep looking!”
With a glance at the gleaming ring on the table, Connor walked with heavy steps out of the room. The men caught up with him but there was no stopping him.
“She wouldna kill herself! I doona care what ye say!” he said frantically.
For the next couple of days, logic evaded Connor, as did sleep.
Reason and sanity were gone, and he wasn’t listening to any other’s.
Chapter Thirty-One
Maddie heard a noise and looked to her left. Her heart stopped as she saw who emerged. He was familiar, and she felt her ire build up.
“What are you doing here? Kidnapping another?”
He had the gall to laugh.
“We started off on the wrong footing, but I assure ye, I am not an evil man,” he replied.
She snorted. “So you just allow your men to hit women because you respect them?”
Was that regret in his eyes?
He ignored her jab. “My question to ye, milady, is what are ye doing here?”
Think quickly! You could ruin everything, Maddie!
“I am visiting my family, only I am lost.”
“Ye expect me to believe that Ram let ye travel alone to yer family’s home?”
Maddie stuck her nose up in the air and crossed her arms ov
er her chest. They both stood next to their horses.
“Connor told me that you and he were, at some point, friends and allies, so I’ll deign to answer your absurd question. We both know that Connor would never let me travel alone. Miriam and Katie traveled to the McLeans. I told them that my home was a short distance away, and so they allowed me to leave.”
Athyn nodded, pleased for the moment. Or so she thought.
“I doona believe yer story, Maddie. Miriam and the guards would have never allowed ye to travel even this short of a distance by yerself.”
She played it easy. She shrugged.
“Believe what you will, Athyn. I have nothing to hide nor lie about. Show me the way to my home, for I have a feeling you know it well, and go see for yourself. Go the McLeans and see Miriam and Katie.” She raised her hand in gesture towards the direction of the McLean land. “Speak to them and they shall tell ye.”
Maddie hoped calling his bluff would make him believe her. Athyn stared at her for unnervingly long moments. Her forthrightness calmed his doubts. If she was lying, she was good.
“I shall take ye home, Lady Madeleine.” He inclined his head and bowed with a sweeping arm. “‘Twould be my pleasure.”
She arched her eyebrows.
“Aye, for you took me once from it, and so it would be fitting for you to return me. Is it far from here?”
“Nay, about an hour’s time.”
Maddie nodded and they took up small talk as they rode. She was surprised that he had been correct- it was a small distance from where they were to Skorthyne Castle.
“Thank you, Athyn. Please, do go back and allay your doubts. I never lie,” Maddie said, smiling as she walked into the open gates.
Athyn looked at her for a long minute. He remembered that Connor had said she was very pious. Nay, she wouldn’t lie. With one last look, he turned and left.
Maddie waited until he was gone. She counted to twenty, her lucky number so far, and left the grounds. She knew how to get to the convent from here.
Who’d have thought that she would have gone to the convent after all?