Little Black Book

by Tabatha Vargo

  She squirmed under me and I could already feel myself getting hard. Leaning back, I counted to ten. If this kept up, I’d walk around in a permanent state of arousal.

  “I’m going for a swim,” I said, standing from her chair.

  “I’ll be here,” she said with a little wave.

  The cold ocean water cooled my burning flesh as I waded out over my head and swam against the waves. Turning around, I looked back at the beach. The white sand and blue umbrellas stretched as far as the eye could see. It was paradise, and I was happy to be able to share it with the woman who had captured my heart.

  Later, we left the beach to go for some drinks at a tiki bar that wasn’t far from where we’d been. Rosslyn walked with her sandals in hand, wearing a white bathing suit cover draping from her shoulder. Her red hair was disheveled and full of long loose curls from the ocean water drying in her hair. She was more than beautiful.

  As promised, I order us two fruity drinks with umbrellas and we sat at the bar.

  “What would you like to do next?” I asked, taking a pull from my straw.

  “I don’t care. This is paradise. I’m happy just sitting here,” she smiled.

  “I like making you happy.”

  I was turning into a mushy fucker, but I couldn’t help it. It’s what she did to me.

  “Well, you’re very good at it.”

  Leaning in, I kissed her. The taste of her strawberry flavored drink rolled across my tongue. She was delicious.

  The following day, we moved from our hotel to a beach cottage I rented for the rest of the week. I was seriously considering buying a property while we were there, but I didn’t want to spend any of my time with Rosslyn doing anything business related.

  The cottage was all white, with massive floor to ceiling windows on all four sides. There were views of the beach and palm trees in every direction. I looked through one of the windows after my shower, to see Rosslyn standing on the upper deck looking out at the ocean. Her hair was pulled up in a knot, but stray flyway’s swept across her face.

  I watched as she closed her eyes and let the breeze move across her cheeks. She looked content, and I knew in that moment I’d spend the rest of my life making sure she always felt that way. There was no doubt about it, I was in love with her.

  The beautiful woman I was looking at was mine, and I wanted her to know it. I needed her to know this was no longer a business arrangement for me. It was more and she was more. She was everything I ever wanted and all I would ever need. She was my happily ever after.

  For a man who didn’t understand emotions all that well, the feelings I experienced for Rosslyn were undeniable. She was the one, and it scared me and excited me at the same time.

  Stepping out onto the deck, I went up behind her and pulled her body to mine. Resting my chin on her shoulder, I took in the sight in front of us.

  “Thank you, Sebastian,” she whispered.

  “For what?”

  “For this. For everything.” She leaned back into me and rested her head on my shoulder. “I just wanted you to know you’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been. I don’t care if this lasts another week or another day, you’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.”

  Her words struck my heart like a bolt of lightning and I spun her in my arms and kissed her. The sound of the waves moved around us and she moaned sweetly into my mouth.

  Pulling away, I pressed my forehead to hers and closed my eyes to take in the moment.

  “I love you, Rosslyn.”

  The words exploded from my heart and slipped from my lips. I had no desire to take them back. If anything, I wanted to write them in the sky for the world to see. She needed to know because it was the truth, and as I’d always heard it would, the truth had definitely set me free when it came to her.

  Twenty-Six

  Rosslyn

  “I love you, Rosslyn.”

  I looked up at him, his words filling me with so much joy, I was sure my heart would burst. He stared down at me with a straight face, his dark hair shifting in the ocean breeze. His blue eyes popped against the white cottage and fading sunset in the background.

  “So I should be thanking you,” he continued, smiling down at me. “I never thought I’d ever feel this way about anyone. For years I’ve been emotionally paralyzed, but you turned my fears against me and made them a thing of beauty.”

  I could hardly believe Sebastian Black was saying such pretty words. Reaching up, I captured his face in my palm and ran my thumb across the light stubble on his cheek. “I love you, too.”

  His expression changed into one of disbelief, as if someone could never love him. Then he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. It was a kiss filled with promises of the future—a forever.

  That night, we made love.

  “There will be no fucking tonight,” he whispered, lowering me onto the bed. “I want to do something I’ve never done. I want to make love to you.” He kissed me tenderly, running lights touches down my body.

  “Is this Sebastian Black doing soft and romantic?”

  Parting my legs, his lips made a path down my stomach. “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

  It was slow and soft, and beautiful.

  “I’m so in love with you,” he whispered, plunging deep. Our bodies slowly rocked against one another.

  His large shoulders blocked the dim light as he held his frame above me. I pressed the back of my head into the pillow, gasping and lifting my hips. Leaning up, I kissed him slow, his tongue moving against mine before he softly sucked on my bottom lip.

  Running my hands down his back, I slipped them under the sheet tangled around us, and dug my nails into his round ass.

  “I can’t get enough of you, Rosslyn. I’ll never get enough of you,” he whispered against my lips before placing his forehead to mine and breathing hard.

  Afterwards, I fell asleep wrapped in his arms. I’d never felt so high on life, and I was hoping I’d never have to come back down.

  “I have tan lines,” I said, peeling off my bathing suit and getting ready to get in the shower.

  “Tan lines are sexy.”

  I turned to see Sebastian relaxing on the bed, his arms tucked behind his head.

  “You think everything is sexy.”

  “Everything that has to do with you.”

  The past week had been heaven. Lying on the beach, drinking margaritas, and having sex in the Jacuzzi.

  Sebastian made me feel like a queen—a worshipped sex goddess he couldn’t seem to get enough of. It was like he’d done a complete one-eighty.

  He whispered words of love and affection, showing me how deeply he felt with everything he did. He touched me every chance he got and gave me kisses full of passion constantly. It was perfection, and I was starting to think that my life was finally falling into place.

  After my shower, I dressed and Sebastian took me to dinner at a comfortable little restaurant on the beach. We ate seafood and drank too much.

  Afterward, I kicked off my sandals and we walked on the beach holding hands. He looked incredible in a pair of rolled up khakis and a loose, white button down shirt. His hair was a wind-blown sexy mess and whenever he smiled, I knew his dimples were the cutest thing I’d ever see.

  “Dance with me,” he said, pulling me into his arms and dipping me.

  I laughed and let my sandals fall to the ground. “There’s no music.”

  “We’ll make our own music.”

  He held my hand and my waist, humming softly in my ear. We danced under the stars, the waves in the background keeping up with his melody.

  “You’re such a romantic.”

  “Am not,” he grinned.

  “Then what would you call this?” I asked.

  “I call this an excuse to feel your body against mine.”

  I giggled. “Sure it is.”

  And then he pushed his hardness against my thigh, and I couldn’t help but giggle more.

  “Pipe do
wn, Pepe Le Pew,” I joked.

  This time he was the one laughing. He squeezed me tight. “I can’t help it. You are ze corned beef to me, and I am ze cabbage to you,” he said in his best French accent.

  I didn’t want our stay to come to an end, but unfortunately, reality was an evil bitch and Sebastian had to get back to his club. After packing, I had two extra suitcases, filled with stuff Sebastian had bought for me in Barbados.

  The plane ride back was a lot smoother than it was coming, but Sebastian made the ride easier by holding my hand and whispering soothing words into my hair.

  It was a late flight. There were only a few of us on the plane, so when Sebastian covered us with a blanket and I felt his hand slip between my thighs, I only put up a small fight.

  His fingers worked their magic and before I knew it I was quietly panting and moaning into his shoulder. When we stepped off the plane, I was already looking forward to our next trip.

  “Stay. Sleep. I’m going to make an appearance downstairs and I’ll be right back.”

  He pulled away from me, pulling back the sheet and kissing any piece of bare skin he could find.

  “Hurry back.”

  Thirty minutes passed and I figured I might as well get up and take a shower. Stepping into Sebastian’s massive shower, I stood under the multiple shower heads and let the steaming water pour over me.

  When I got out, the luxurious towel I wrapped around my body had been warmed by a towel warmer.

  Going back into Sebastian’s bedroom, I pulled off my robe and dressed in a pair of his boxers and one of his T-shirts. I had my own clothes, but I preferred wearing his.

  I spent the next twenty minutes being nosey. There were pictures to look at and colognes on his dresser to smell. He was so organized, it was cute.

  “Are you snooping?” I spun around to see Vick standing in the door way of Sebastian’s room.

  I flushed, twisting my hands together in front of me and smiled at her. She didn’t smile back and there was something very odd about her behavior.

  “Maybe just a little.” I tried another small smile, but she wasn’t having it.

  “Sebastian doesn’t like his girls being nosey, Jessica.”

  Her tone gave me pause. Not because it was angry, but because there was something else mixed in. She sounded… jealous.

  “He doesn’t call me that anymore. He knows my name.”

  She nodded condescendingly. “Oh, right. Do you think that makes you special, Rosslyn? Do you think Sebastian is going to marry you now and you’ll ride off into the sunset together?”

  My shoulders stiffened. “I don’t know what to expect, but I know Sebastian is changing… and he likes it.”

  She scoffed, her face twisting angrily. “Are you shitting me with this? Men don’t change, especially men like Sebastian.”

  I felt bad for Vick. She was in love with Sebastian and he was in love with someone else. I didn’t know what that felt like, but it was easy to try and understand when I thought of Sebastian being with someone else.

  “I’m sorry if this hurts you, Vick. I know it can’t be easy to see Sebastian with me, but…”

  She barked a laugh so loud it made me jump. “Wow, you really are fucking nuts.” Her eyes narrowed and she glared at me like she was waiting for me to catch fire under her stare. “You have no idea what you’re talking about and you have no idea who Sebastian really is, or what he’s done in the past.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t care what he’s done in the past. What’s done is done, and I’m sure there are things he regrets. But it doesn’t change the way I feel about him now. I love him and I would do anything for him.”

  She stared at me long and hard. “So you’re in love with him. You would do anything for him. Does that include keeping his secrets?”

  “Yes.”

  “I bet if you knew, if you only knew, you’d hate him. You’d wish you never met him. You may even wish him dead.”

  I frowned, not understanding what she was trying to tell me. “What are you talking about?”

  “Everyone has skeletons, Rosslyn. Some worse than others. You just have to know where to look.”

  She came toward me and I felt a rush of fear. But she walked past me and I turned, not trusting my back to her. Pulling on the corner of a picture of the Brooklyn Bridge, she revealed a safe tucked secretly behind it.

  She didn’t make a move to open it as she turned and walked back toward the door to leave the room. I didn’t know what she expected me to do without the combination.

  And then she began calling out numbers. “021201. If you want to know more about Sebastian, the things you have the right to know, then open the safe.”

  She didn’t wait for me to respond as she walked from the room. I turned back to look at the safe and I felt nervous. My hands began to sweat and my heart was racing.

  I rubbed my palms on my pants as I tried to tell myself there was nothing in that safe I needed to know about. But even as I told myself that, I was repeating the number Vick said back in my head over and over again. 021201, 021201, 021201.

  I could have left it alone and told Sebastian everything Vick said when he returned. I could have asked him what was in the safe, but I had the feeling he wouldn’t tell me. I also had a feeling that whatever was in the safe would be long gone if I ever asked about it.

  Taking a deep breath, I took a slow step toward the wall, and then another until I was close enough to enter the code. When I reached toward the buttons, my fingers shook. I ignored the trembling and placed my finger over the first number.

  The safe made a sound that sounded louder than it actually was, and popped open. My head whipped toward the door, but it remained empty. My racing heart pounded in my ears as I pulled open the heavy door.

  There was nothing out of the ordinary at first sight and I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn’t know what I expected to find, but I was glad it wasn’t any body parts. I shifted through the papers, they looked like old newspaper clippings, and a few stacks of money.

  Then, I felt a small hand gun. It scared me at first and I snatched my hand back like it was a venomous snake. I scolded myself for acting like a scared idiot, and moved my fingers over the gun. It didn’t look dangerous, but that didn’t matter. It was older—not at all like something I pictured Sebastian using, but I figured it had sentimental value.

  Next to the gun was a medium-sized, black box. I pulled it from the safe, opening the lid. There were pictures of Sebastian and Vick when they were younger, an old match box, and tiny trinkets that I’m sure meant something to Sebastian, but didn’t stand out to me at all.

  Shifting through the pictures, I smiled at each one. My eyes landed on the next item and all the happiness was sucked out of me. Lifting it, I looked down at the locket in the palm of my hand. It looked just like…but that was impossible. My mother’s locket was stolen that night.

  The chain was broken and slipped through the tiny clasp of the locket, making a tiny clinking noise when it hit the floor. Pressing on the side of the locket, it popped open and my heart shattered into a million pieces. My eyes took in the tiny picture of the infant I knew was Kyle before landing on my picture. I was nine in the picture and I was the happiest person in the world.

  My tears blurred the picture, making the locket look as if it was floating in my palm. I was having a nightmare. No way was this happening. I was still sleeping and I needed to wake up.

  I closed my eyes and tried to envision the boy from that night—the way he stood, the way he held his shoulders straight, and his walk… it all felt so familiar to me now.

  Closing the locket, I clutched it tightly in my fist, the latch on the side digging into my palm. And then I remembered the gun.

  I felt like I couldn’t breathe as the realization of what that gun was, what it was used for, came to me. The truth of it was choking me and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.

  The newspaper clippings covered the gun, and I reached for them.
A tear fell down my cheeks as I shifted through them, reading story after story about the death of my parents. The date caught my attention, February 12, 2001... 021201. Sebastian’s safe code was the date my parents were killed.

  “What are you doing?” Sebastian asked from behind me.

  I turned on him with angry tear-filled eyes.

  “What is this Sebastian?”

  The color drained from his face. I watched as sadness and regret filled his features and I knew—I just knew.

  Sebastian was a murderer.

  Twenty-Seven

  Sebastian

  “Did you have a nice little vacation?” Vick sneered from behind me.

  I was looking down over my club. The place I once thought was the only thing I could love…until Rosslyn. I was in love with a women who trusted me when she had no right to.

  I wasn’t in the mood to fight with Vick. “We did.”

  Her stunned silence followed. She expected me to be harsh and rough with her, but I wasn’t playing any games with her tonight.

  “We? Now you’re a couple?”

  I sighed and dropped my head, pinching the bridge of my nose between two fingers. Obviously she was in the mood to push my buttons.

  Turning around, I picked up my drink from corner of my desk and tossed back the remains. The glass made a deep sound when I set it back down. I’d lost count of how many drinks I’d had since I left Rosslyn sleeping, but the slight buzz was numbing the constant guilt I felt since I found out who she was.

  “Yes, Vick, we’re a couple. I told you she was different. I’m in love with her. I’ve never been in love with anyone the way I love her.”

  “You’re in love with her. Are you insane Sebastian? We killed…”

  I cut her off. “We? We didn’t kill anyone. You did.”

  It was something that haunted my mind for years.

  “Come the fuck on, Sebastian,” Vick whispered as she disappeared over the side of the fence.

  She was faster than me now that she was older, but still clumsy, which was why I never let her do jobs by herself. She wasn’t ready, even if she thought she was.