Little Black Book

by Tabatha Vargo

  I lifted myself up over the fence and fell to my feet beside her.

  “You’re getting slow,” she grinned over at me.

  “Fuck you,” I said, standing up and dusting off the knees of my pants. “Let’s get this shit over with. I told Anthony we’d be back in two hours.

  We moved across the perfectly manicured backyard toward the house Vick had her eyes on for the last year. She said it was the house of her dreams. She wanted a home and family like the one inside.

  We all had our dreams and envisioned the kind of life we’d have if we hadn’t been given away, so I understood her obsession with the house. Even though I’d told her, over and over again, I picked the houses, I knew her birthday was coming. So like a dumbass, I promised her we’d do the house she wanted.

  “Okay, are you sure the people are out of town? I asked.

  “Yes. Now quit worrying. We’ll be in and out before you know it.”

  I trusted Vick with my life. I had no reason to believe she would lie to me about anything.

  “Fine, but still no lights. The neighbors around neighborhoods like this, watch each other’s backs. Let’s just get in, get the shit, and get the fuck out.”

  “I’m not an idiot, Sebastian. I’ve done this more than you.”

  The stolen credit card I used on the back door, bent as I pressed it into the lock. Pulling on the knob, the door popped open.

  “Like a pro,” Vick whispered with a smile.

  She bumped her shoulder into mine playfully. That was the problem. She played too much in serious situations like the one we were in.

  I gave her the evil eye, telling her to shut the fuck up, and then moved stealthily through the house. Vick was on my heels as we moved through the place, looking for valuables. The bottom floor was spotless and we didn’t find much of anything.

  “Come on,” Vick whispered, taking the stairs to the second floor.

  I followed behind her and into the master bedroom.

  “Jackpot,” Vick whispered, tugging on my arm. “Help me get the TV.”

  Nodding my head, I moved toward the wall with the TV and we both lifted it from the stand and onto the floor. It was at that moment, the bathroom door flew open and a man in a pair of silk pajama pants stepped out. He was yawning with his eyes closed and scratching his head. Once his eyes opened, they landed on us. Vick and I both froze in the light coming from the bathroom.

  “What are you doing in my house?”

  He moved toward the side of the bed toward the phone. It was then I saw a lady sleeping on the other side.

  I held up my hands. “No need for that. We’ll just leave.”

  I moved toward the door hoping Vick would follow. Neither of us needed to be arrested.

  I was standing in the doorway when I looked back. Vick wasn’t there. Instead, she was standing in front of the man and she was holding a gun up at him.

  “What are you doing?” I said, making my way back toward her. “No. This is not how this is going down.”

  I broke into houses to survive, but carrying a gun around and pulling it on people was not okay with me.

  “He’s going to call the cops, Sebastian,” she said in a hushed tone. “Fuck, now he knows your name. I’m sorry. Shit, I’m so sorry.”

  Her eyes were wild. She was freaking out.

  “Vick, just give me the gun. We’ll get the hell out of here, and no one will know anything. Let’s just go.” I said calmly as I reached out for the gun.

  Her hand was shaking, which meant her trigger finger was shaking, too.

  And then everything moved in slow motion. The husband stood there with his hands up, fear in his eyes, while the wife started to stir. And then she sat straight up in bed and screamed.

  The gunshots rang out, deafening me as I watched the man fall to the floor. Blood oozed from his neck and he choked as he tried to breathe. I moved quickly toward Vick, but it was too late. The wife was running toward the door and Vick was shooting over and over again.

  Everything went silent, except for the sounds of the husband taking his last breath, and the wife beginning to choke and gasp for life. And then, the screams of a baby in the room next door.

  Vick dropped the gun, and took off running as if I wasn’t even in the room with her. Her loud footsteps on the wooden stairs echoed throughout the house. I stood there in shock, sure that I was dreaming, but the woman started moaning. I should have ran, but I didn’t. Instead, I dropped to my knees next to the woman dying on the floor and I grabbed her hand.

  “I’m so sorry,” I whispered to her. “I’m so sorry.”

  Her wide eyes were trained on me as her body started to shake. Blood splattered from her mouth and landed on her lips. She was trying to say something, but I couldn’t understand. Leaning down closer to her, I turned my head so that she could speak in my ear.

  “Please,” she struggled to say.

  And then I felt her shaking fingers on mine as she placed something hard and cold in my palm. She closed my hand around the object and pleaded to me with her eyes. I didn’t know what she was asking me for, but I couldn’t help her.

  I should have called the police or the ambulance, but I wasn’t thinking straight and I was scared. I’d never seen anyone die before and my stomach was twisting with fear. All I did was lean over her and watch as a tiny tear fell from her eye and she took her last breath.

  I opened my hand and looked down at the locket in my palm. What was she trying to tell me?

  And then a sound at my left made me jump and I looked up to see a young girl standing in the doorway looking back at me. She was no more than ten. Her tiny feet peeked out from under her nightgown as her fear-filled eyes took in the scene around her.

  The woman obviously wanted me to have the locket. I didn’t know what else to do, so I popped the chain from around her neck. I stood holding her locket in my hand. My eyes clashed with the little girl’s once more, and then I took off, running past her and down the stairs. Once I lifted myself over the fence, I puked all over the ground, before running off into the darkness.

  As badly as I wanted to turn myself in, it meant turning Vick in, too, and that was something I wasn’t willing to do. She was the only family I had—my baby sister. What she had done was wrong, but I couldn’t let her go to jail. I couldn’t.

  That night, I changed. I lay in bed and blocked out all the memories of the night, cutting off my emotions completely, so that I didn’t feel the guilt or the hurt tearing me apart.

  Popping open the locket the woman had given me, I saw two pictures inside. One of the little girl, and another of the baby I’d heard screaming. I’d witnessed two people die—parents. I’d left two children, mother and fatherless. I’d sentenced them to a life like mine. It was something I’d never get over for the rest of my life… never.

  “What the hell are you talking about, Sebastian? We were both there.”

  Her words pulled me from my memories. “You’re right. I never should have let you…” I didn’t finish.

  “Are you thinking of ratting me out? The least you can do is tell me before you do.”

  My gaze snapped in her direction. “You know me better than that. I’m not a fucking rat. I’d never do that to you and I’d never do that to Rosslyn. She can never find out what happened that night.”

  “Oh, screw the bitch, Sebastian. I’m the one you should be loyal to. Me, not her.”

  “I said, I wasn’t going to tell her. I can’t lose her, and if she finds out, she’ll leave me. I need her, Vick. She’s it for me.”

  Vick’s face crumbled and she fell back a step. “But I thought…”

  Even through my drunken haze, I didn’t miss the total devastation on her face. I’d suspected Vick’s feelings for me a couple of weeks ago, but tonight confirmed it. It was like a punch in the gut. She was in love with me.

  How could I have not seen it all these years? She was like a sister to me, so it never occurred to me her feelings ran deeper than mine. She
watched me screw anyone and everyone, and never batted an eyelash. But with Rosslyn things were different, and now all of Vick’s issues over the past few weeks made sense.

  “Vick…” I raised my hands in the air feeling helpless. How was I supposed to tell her I didn’t feel the same for her?

  Tears fell down her cheeks and she swiped at them angrily and then wrapped her arms around her middle. I hadn’t seen this side of her in a very long time, and I was reminded of the girl she used to be. She was vulnerable and I was watching it in slow motion as I was breaking her heart.

  As much as things had changed between me and Vick in the past weeks, a part of me clung to the old her. I couldn’t just turn away from her pain. Holding my arms out toward her, I waited, hoping she’d accept my comfort. Within a second, she was across the room and throwing her arms around my waist.

  Her tears soaked the front of my suit, but I didn’t care. She needed comfort. Guilt thickened in my gut as I realized things were going to be different from that point on. The moment felt like it was marking the end of our friendship.

  “I love you, Sebastian. I’ve been with you since the beginning. No one else.”

  “Shhh,” I whispered, smoothing the side of her head.

  “She’ll never be good enough for you. She’ll never know you like I do. I accept you for who you are and what you’ve done. Would she say the same if she found out about your, our, past?”

  “Vick…” I started to explain to her, but she cut me off.

  “Tell me you don’t love me, Sebastian. Tell me you’ve never loved me.” She begged, looking up at me with tear-filled eyes.

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same way. You’ve always been like a sister to me.”

  “That’s not true.” She shook her head furiously. “Kiss me.”

  Before I could stop her, her fingers were gripping my jacket and she was pulling me forward. She caught me by surprise and was able to press her lips against mine.

  Desperation was a bitter taste. I felt her tongue move along my lips and I wrapped my fingers around her elbows roughly, and tried to pull her from me.

  “I love it when you’re rough,” she growled. “I know how you like to fuck. Fuck me, Sebastian. Fuck me hard.” She bit my lip, freeing her arms and started attacking the buttons on her shirt.

  “Stop it, Vick.” I pushed her away and she fell back a few steps.

  She blinked at me and then glared. “She’s going to break your heart. She’s not like us. She’ll never be like us. You and I are the same. We don’t get happily ever after.”

  “Maybe I won’t get a happy ending, but even after all the shit I’ve done, you and I are nothing alike.”

  She smirked, fixed her shirt, and turned around. Without another word, she left the room, slamming my door behind her. If I had been smart, I would have followed her to make sure she left the club, but I wasn’t smart.

  “What is this, Sebastian? Tell me what it is.” Roz screamed at me.

  Tears ran down her cheeks, taking pieces of my heart with them.

  The inevitable had happened and now I was going to lose everything I loved.

  “Rosslyn, sweetheart. I can explain. Just let me ex—”

  “Don’t you dare call me sweetheart. Tell me what it is. I just want to hear you say the words. I need to know this is real.”

  “Rosslyn, please…”

  “Stop! Just say the words.”

  She was breaking in front of me—crackling from the inside out, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Taking a deep cleansing breath, I closed my eyes and prepared for the end of everything.

  “It’s your mother’s locket.”

  The words cut into my throat like large shards of glass. I could practically taste the blood in the back of my mouth.

  “And how did you get it?”

  Her shoulders were stiff and the hand holding out the locket was shaking so bad I thought she might drop it.

  “Please, baby. Let me explain.”

  I just needed her to listen for just a few minutes. I wanted her to know the truth. She needed to know that while I was there, I didn’t pull the trigger. I didn’t technically kill her parents.

  “Don’t call me baby! I’m not your fucking baby!”

  I flinched at her words.

  “It was you. You were the boy leaning over my mother, weren’t you?”

  She wasn’t asking the right questions. I needed her to ask me if I’d killed them.

  “Yes, it was me,” tears came unbidden to my eyes. “But I swear, Rosslyn. I swear I didn’t kill your parents.”

  “Then who did?”

  The name sat on the tip of my tongue waiting to lunge into the air around me, and instead of holding it back like I always had, I let it jump.

  “Vick.”

  She ran her hands down her face, before tugging at her hair. “I can’t…” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “This isn’t happening.”

  “I was there, Rosslyn, but I didn’t kill them. I need you to hear me, I need to know that you understand.”

  “Do you think it makes it better that you were just there, Sebastian? You never should have been in my house. You may not have pulled the trigger, but you took away everything with just your presence.”

  “Ross—” I took a step closer to her, but she jerked away.

  “Don’t. Don’t you dare. You don’t get to touch me. I don’t want to look at you, you make me sick.”

  “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you.”

  “Wait…” she lifted her accusing gaze, really looking at me for the first time. “How long have you known about me? From the beginning, Sebastian? Is that why you did all this? Was this some sick fucking game to you?”

  “No. I didn’t find out until—“

  “The password,” she interrupted. “That’s why you flipped out when I told you it was my last name.”

  “I swear I was going to leave you alone. I was. But I loved you, Rosslyn. I still love you. I need you.” Tears fell down my cheeks, for the first time since I was a little boy.

  “You’ve been fucking me this whole time… knowing who killed my parents?”

  I wanted to tell her so many things, but nothing I could say was going to make it okay. I knew I was going to lose her and as I watched her stare back at me with hate-filled eyes, I understood she was no longer mine. I had no right to try and dissuade her from leaving me.

  “I need to get out of here. I need to get away from you.”

  And then she started to walk past, to leave the room. Panic ripped through me. Not because I was afraid she was going to the police, but because I knew once she left, I’d never see her again.

  Reaching out, I pulled her to me when she came near, and she lashed out. Slapping at my face and chest, she screamed. I held her close to protect herself and me.

  “Please don’t do this. I just found you. I can’t lose you now.” The lump in my chest moved into my throat and threatened to choke me.

  “I was never yours, Sebastian. The minute you stepped into my house twelve years ago, I’ve wanted you dead.”

  “Don’t say that. You love me, Rosslyn. I know you do.”

  She wasn’t hearing me as she continued to shake free of me. Finally, with a burst of strength I didn’t know she had, she kicked at my foot and shin, before pushing me away with a growl.

  I slammed into the wall, and lost my footing. She ran. I was just getting into the living space as she slung open the front door and dashed down the stairs. I chased her, taking the stairs as quickly as I could, but once she hit the floor full of dancers, she disappeared into the crowd.

  I searched for her like a crazed man. Pushing through dancers and knocking over drinks. People looked at me like I was nuts, and maybe I was. I darted toward the door, sure I’d cut her off, but she was nowhere to be found.

  Leaving the club, I stood on the wet asphalt and let me eyes take in the area. The love of my life was out there somewhere, alone on the str
eets. If something happened to her, I’d never forgive myself.

  Turning, I ran back upstairs to my apartment to get my keys. She’d have to either go home or find a place to stay. I’d find her and make sure she was safe. No matter where she was, I’d find her and make this better.

  Twenty-Eight

  Rosslyn

  “Are you sure it’s okay if I stay here a while?” I asked, blowing my nose in a tissue that was starting to fall apart. “I don’t want to be a bother.”

  “Girl, please. You’re welcome to stay here,” Trish said, handing me a new tissue. “I just really wish you’d tell me what the hell is going on.”

  She seemed genuinely concerned, but I wasn’t ready to talk. Not to mention, I still didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should call the police, or what. I just needed a place to hide out until I got my head on straight.

  I had a week before Kyle came home, and there was no way in the world I was going back to that condo. I wasn’t going to let the man who killed my parents take care of me.

  “I can’t,” I said through my tears. “I wish I could, but I just can’t.”

  She reached out and smoothed the hair on the side of my head. “When you’re ready to talk, I’m here.”

  Trish attempted to call off the date she’d been talking about for the last two weeks, but I refused to let her do that. I was an emotional mess and I wanted to spend the night alone. I was more than happy to watch Trish walk out the door an hour later.

  I laid on the couch and cried for most of the night. At some point, I fell into a fitful sleep. Memories of the night I’d kept under lock and key were released and I had no choice but to relive it all over again. Except my nightmare was different this time. This time I was the victim.

  The sound of gunshots rang out and Kyle’s screams broke my heart all over again. And then there was the intruder’s face—Sebastian’s icy eyes cut through me, leaving me feeling cold and afraid.

  He turned away from my mother’s lifeless body and made his way toward me.