The Consequences of Forever (Lainey)

by Kaitlyn Oruska

“Good morning, honey,” Julia said with a warm smile. “Would you like some breakfast?”

  “No, thanks,” I quickly responded. I hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before, but the idea of trying to stomach anything right now didn’t appeal to me.

  “You really should eat something,” she insisted. “There’s some leftover fruit salad, would you like some of that?”

  I agreed, deciding that fruit salad probably wouldn’t have a disastrous effect on me, and Julia got up to get it. I sat down next to Adam and instinctively reached for his hand under the table.

  “Why didn’t you wake me up?” I whispered.

  “You looked peaceful and I figured you needed some sleep. Mom told me what happened.”

  I nodded, relieved I didn’t have to. I felt like half of our relationship so far had been spent dealing with my family drama in one way or another, and I didn’t want to have to add this to the list. Adam didn’t look happy.

  Julia returned with the bowl of mixed fruit. I stabbed a strawberry slice with my fork, trying to convince myself it looked appetizing. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until the rest of the fruit began to disappear. Julia patiently waited until I was done eating to talk.

  “Lainey, we need to discuss some things,” she began, and the jittery feeling came back, this time in full force. I said nothing, waiting for her to continue.

  “I called your father last night to tell him where you were, and he didn’t seem concerned. All he said was alright, and that he’d check in with you tomorrow. I understand that what happened yesterday might make things awkward between your father and yourself, but I’m concerned.” She paused to take a deep breath, and I got a sense that maybe she was nervous, but that didn’t make any sense.

  “Last night, you told me that you and Nora haven’t spoken a word to each other since Thanksgiving. That was almost a month ago. And now this with your father. I don’t think it’s a good environment to bring a baby into, and with that said, I really don’t think it’s a good environment for you to live in before the baby arrives.” She seemed to be waiting for me to jump in with something, but I didn’t. What was I supposed to say? It wasn’t news to me, that my family was a disaster.

  “Adam and I were talking this morning, and we both agree that it’s in everyone’s best interest if you move in here. I know it isn’t my place to tell you where you should and shouldn’t live, and I know how much you love your father and stepmother in spite of everything that’s happened, but this makes more sense, as far as I can tell. When the baby gets here, you’re going to need help, and I’m just not sure you’re going to get the support and help you need at Bella Vista. At least here, the baby will have both of their parents on a daily basis, as well as two grandparents, plus the same housekeeper that helped me with Greg and Adam as they were growing up.”

  I took it all in, having to remind myself to breathe every once in a while. Move in with Adam and his parents? The idea seemed wonderful and frightening all at once.

  “If you need time to think about it, that’s perfectly okay. I still need to discuss this with Ned before anything is made permanent, but we’ve talked about what will happen when the baby gets here plenty of times before, and we’ve always been in agreement that it’s better to have them in more of a family setting, instead of the baby bouncing back and forth between you and Adam as though you weren’t together.”

  “I don’t see why she’ll need time to think about it,” Adam spoke up. “Right, Lainey?”

  I looked at him and nodded. He was right, why would I need time to think about it? This was the best possible solution to everything, wasn’t it? I wanted to believe so, but something inside of me just didn’t seem convinced.

  My first concern was Hannah. She wouldn’t take the news of me moving out well, of that I was sure. We were still a family, even if we were the only two people in it that still believed that. She needed me. Sure, she’d complained about having to share a bedroom every day since we’d moved into Bella Vista, and we’d worried about how we were going to fit a crib and baby stuff in an already cramped room, but me move out? She never would have asked for that.

  “It seems like a big step,” I said finally, realizing they were both waiting for me to respond. I looked away from Adam, avoiding his eyes, although I could feel them fixed on me. Of course he wanted this. I hadn’t thought too much about what would happen after the baby was born, how we’d make things work without living together, and this solved everything. Sort of.

  “It is,” Julia agreed. “It certainly is. But it’s no bigger a step than having a baby. And it is best, in the long run. You wouldn’t have to sacrifice your schoolwork and studying in order to care for the baby around the clock, because whenever Adam’s at work, I’ll be here and you know I want to help you as much as possible.”

  “I know,” I smiled softly. “But I don’t know how my parents are going to feel about this. And Hannah. She won’t be happy.”

  “Your stepmother disowned you in front of your entire family and your dad is sleeping with someone that’s practically the same age as you. I don’t think their opinion matters.” Adam spoke up. Everything he said was true, but that didn’t keep it from stinging so much.

  Julia sent him a look, silencing him. “Their opinion does matter, Adam. But if they want what’s best for Lainey, and I sincerely think that they do, they’ll agree that this is a better situation. Regardless of what is or isn’t going on with your parents, Lainey, you have to admit that a bed and breakfast isn’t an ideal place to raise a baby.”

  “I know,” I agreed. A baby screaming at all hours of the night probably wasn’t something that would appear endearing to guests, and the last thing I needed was to add something new to the list of reasons why Nora hated me.

  “You’ll still see Hannah every day at school,” Julia continued. “And she’s more than welcome here, whenever she wants to visit. I plan on setting up the guest room as a bedroom for you as well as a nursery, and she can sleep over here whenever she wants.”

  I tried to imagine Hannah actually wanting to sleep in the same room as a crying baby, but the visual wouldn’t come. I smiled.

  “I don’t agree with that,” Adam argued. “If Lainey is going to live here, then she’s going to stay in my room, with me. We’re adults now, Mom. The guest room can be the baby’s nursery.”

  “I don’t know if your dad will agree with that.”

  “If you put us in separate rooms, we’re going to end up together anyway,” Adam maintained. “It would be easier to just let us.”

  Julia sent him another look, and he abruptly stopped debating his point.

  “Okay,” I said. “When should I talk to them?”

  “I think it’s better if I do the talking,” Julia said. “If Nora gets upset, I don’t want her taking it out on you again. I think we should all get ready and go now, while the day is still young. You and Adam can start packing your things, and I’ll talk to your parents.”

  The next half-hour passed in a blur. Adam and Julia dressed and we all got into Julia’s car, and in the blink of an eye we were at Bella Vista. I entered the house first, finding it empty.

  “Nora is probably in her office, right off the living room,” I told Julia. “I’d rather not speculate where my father is.”

  Adam squeezed my hand, and we headed upstairs to my soon-to-be ex-bedroom. Hannah was sitting on her bed, wearing a robe. Her eyes widened when Adam walked into the room with me.

  “WHOA!” She exclaimed. “GIRL TERRITORY HERE!” She grabbed a pillow and held it over her, as though she were exposed without it.

  Adam rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing I’m interested in seeing, Hannah. Calm down.”

  She made a face at him. “What are you two doing here, anyway? And where were you last night? Mom had no idea, and Michael was missing in action.”

  Guilt raced through my veins. How was I supposed to leave Hannah? She depended on me. Things probably weren’t going to improve betwee
n Nora and my dad anytime soon, and if I left now, she’d be left to deal with it all on her own. I was the worst stepsister in the world.

  “I slept at Adam’s,” I said.

  She raised her eyebrows. “That’s allowed now?”

  “Apparently. She’s moving in with me,” Adam told her.

  So much for breaking it to her gently. Hannah’s eyes got bigger than I could ever remember seeing them. “What? No way.”

  “Yeah,” he confirmed. “We’re here to get some of her stuff.”

  “Lainey?” Hannah turned to me. “Is that true?”

  I sat down next to her on the bed. “Yeah, it’s true.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  “It was just decided this morning. Don’t be mad,” I pleaded with her, however pointlessly. Of course she was going to be mad.

  Hannah got off the bed, arms over her chest. “I don’t get how this is happening,” she said. “You go from not being allowed to see him on weekdays to moving in with him? That makes no sense.”

  “That rule hasn’t exactly been enforced in a while,” I pointed out. “Nora and I haven’t spoken in weeks. This is for the better.”

  “Why now?” She insisted. “Why are you moving out three days before Christmas?”

  Adam and I exchanged a glance, but neither of us said anything. I got off the bed and began collecting clothes from my drawers, leaving the ones that no longer fit comfortably. I didn’t know if they’d fit Hannah, but I could always leave them for her as a peace-offering. She always found a way to make something out of nothing, both in good ways and bad.

  “This is unbelievable,” Hannah declared, storming out of the room. I felt myself wanting to cry, but held it back. I’d expected Hannah to be mad, so it wasn’t like her reaction was all that much of a surprise.

  “She’ll be okay,” Adam told me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I nodded, wanting to believe him.

  Within twenty minutes we’d packed up everything I felt I needed to pack. It wasn’t much, which left me with a weird feeling, but there was nothing I could do about it now, the decision had already been made. I glanced around the bedroom that had been mine for four years, and felt sadness wash over me. So many memories were formed in that room. It was the room where Hannah and I had gone from two strangers to sisters. I’d found out I was pregnant in the attached bathroom.

  I wiped away a few tears that managed to get past my persistent blinking, and let Adam lead me out of the room and down the steps. Julia was at the door, already preparing to leave.

  “Adam, come to the car with me,” she said, shooting me a small smile. “Lainey, your father wants to talk to you.”

  “Where is he?”

  “The office. Nora isn’t home, which is why I’m going to wait in the car.”

  “I’m staying with Lainey,” Adam decided.

  Julia shook her head. “Come with me, Adam.” Her voice was stern, giving Adam with no choice but to listen to her. He shot me a questioning look and I nodded. He kissed me quickly and grabbed the rest of the bags, then followed his mother out to the car, leaving me to deal with whatever my father had to say alone.

  I found my dad in the office, sitting at the computer, a sight so familiar it jarred me for a moment.

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I said immediately.

  “Neither do I. But we do need to talk. Sit down, please.”

  I sat down on the couch facing the desk, and prepared myself. “I’m moving in with them,” I told him. “I can’t live here anymore.”

  My dad nodded solemnly. “I know that, Lainey. I knew Julia was going to suggest that the minute she walked into the office, and I didn’t put up a fight. There’s no denying you’re better off with them, especially now.”

  “Why, Dad?” I asked, more tears sliding by my blinking barrier. I wiped at them furiously. “Why did you do that to Nora?”

  “It has nothing to do with Nora.”

  “It has everything to do with Nora! You’re cheating on her, Dad.”

  He sighed. “I couldn’t expect you to understand, Lainey,” he said, as if somehow the concept of infidelity was too great for my limited knowledge. I tried to imagine cheating on Adam, even being tempted to do so, and the image never came. I hated myself for a split second, for being like my father last June, for cheating on Scott the way I had, but then pushed the feelings away. That was a completely different situation. I hadn’t been committed to Scott the way he was to Nora. I didn’t love Scott the way he was supposed to love Nora. There was a different between an honest mistake and an immoral decision.

  “You’re right,” I agreed. “I’ll never understand why you do half the things you do.”

  “Neither will I.” An uncomfortable silence fell over us.

  “She’s gone,” he said after a bit.

  “Nora?” I asked, alarmed.

  “No, Teagan. She packed her bags and left yesterday, right after…” He let his voice trail off. He didn’t have to finish the sentence for me to know what he meant.

  “I would appreciate it if you never mention this to Nora, or Hannah, for that matter,” he continued. “It would be pointless now, to hurt them that way. I made a mistake, and it’s never going to happen again.”

  “I won’t, but not because you asked me to. I don’t want to hurt either of them, regardless of what’s happened in the past few months.”

  “Thank you.”

  “How long has it been going on?” I asked, suddenly needing to know. Maybe what I had walked in on, maybe it had been the first time, a mistake. Teagan hadn’t left out of guilt, she’d left out of embarrassment. I wanted to believe that so fiercely, that for a moment I hoped he didn’t answer.

  “I don’t think you want to know, sweetheart,” my dad said, sounding sad.

  “How long?”

  “The first month she was here.”

  I said nothing to that. What could I possibly say? My father had been living a lie for the past three months. All those times he had been missing, especially right after I announced I was pregnant, he was with her, living a completely different life within his real one. I felt more betrayed than I ever had, in my life.

  I stood up, preparing to leave. The silence was quickly becoming overwhelming, and there was nothing left to say. The family that I had come to depend on, that I’d hoped for for so long, was falling apart. My dad didn’t know the first thing about loyalty and faithfulness, my stepmother couldn’t stand to look at me, and my stepsister was angry with me, probably feeling abandoned. Oddly enough, that was what hurt the most; feeling as though I were abandoning the truest friend I’d ever had.

  “I think you’ll be happier there, Lainey. I don’t know if that counts for anything, but I truly believe it.”

  “You’re right about one thing,” I said softly, so softly I wasn’t sure he could even hear me. “It doesn’t count for anything.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  “Do you want to wear something of mine?” Julia asked, poking her head into the guest room. I studied myself in the mirror, at the knee-length black dress I’d bought a year ago and never found a reason to wear. Dresses just weren’t my thing, but Hannah had conned me into the purchase, insisting “every girl needed a little black dress.”

  “No,” I decided. “This should do. At least it fits.”

  “Well, you look beautiful. I was more concerned about the look on your face.”

  I sat at the edge of the bed and smiled up at her. “I guess I’m still trying to get used to my body. I feel like it hasn’t changed in years before this, so even the smallest bump feels strange.”

  “Oh, I know. But you’ll get used to it, and once you do, it’ll get bigger and bigger until you feel like a balloon more than a person. Just wait for the second time around; with Adam, I gained more than sixty pounds. It was ridiculous.”

  “But worth it,” I pointed out, and immediately blushed. It was weird to think of Adam as a baby, as being something to someone o
ther than my boyfriend. I tried to picture this baby in eighteen years, and wondered if he and she would be in love with someone the way Adam was with me, or love someone the way I loved him. It was near impossible to imagine.

  Julia beamed. “Well worth it,” she agreed, sitting down next to me and smoothing my hair back. “It’s crazy to think you’ve never met Greg before.”

  What was crazy was how nervous I felt. Hours earlier, I was moving out of my house and into the Montgomery’s. Now I was wearing a dress I’d bought with no purpose in mind to a dinner where I’d meet the uncle of my unborn baby for the first time.

  I pictured Greg as the intimidating type, because that was how he always appeared in Adam’s recollections of him. They were close as children, he’d always said, but that changed once Greg got a little older. He was twenty-one now, a junior at Princeton University, with every intention of following in their father’s footsteps. Adam admitted that he suspected their father favored Greg, but it didn’t seem to bother him too much. He and his mother were closer.

  “I hope he likes me,” I admitted. I wasn’t sure how much more rejection I could handle.

  “He will,” Julia reassured me. “He’ll have no reason not to.”

  “Does he know?”

  She shook her head. “I was going to tell him after we found out, but Ned thought it would be a better idea to wait until he came home. He didn’t end up coming down for Thanksgiving, so it should be an even bigger surprise for him.” She stood up and smoothed her dress over her thighs.

  “Speaking of surprises, we really should be leaving now. Adam’s already downstairs waiting for us, and Ned called a few minutes ago and said he’s close to the restaurant.” She extended a hand to me, and I took it.

  We headed downstairs, where Adam was sitting on the couch, flipping through channels on the television. He looked less than happy. At his mother’s insistence, he’d gotten dressed up in yet another suit, though he’d won the battle of not having to wear a tie.

  “Are you ready?” Julia asked, grabbing her purse off the coffee table. Adam glanced up and his eyes immediately rested on me. He smiled.