The Consequences of Forever (Lainey)

by Kaitlyn Oruska

  “You look beautiful.”

  I looked down at the dress and then back at him, skeptical. “I don’t think so.”

  “I do.” He stood up and walked over to me, embracing me. I relaxed slightly.

  “Alright kids, time to go,” Julia said impatiently, but she was smiling.

  We were headed to a restaurant I’d never been to before, but had heard plenty about. It specialized in seafood, provided by none other than Reeves Seafood Incorporated, and boasted the highest menu prices in all of Haven. To me, that was all the reason not to go, but when you were wealthy or at least borderline so, it probably didn’t matter much. Apparently it was Greg’s favorite restaurant in town.

  Adam sat in the backseat with me, taking my hand and giving it a light squeeze. I knew he sensed how nervous I was, even though I didn’t fully understand why. My life had turned upside down more than once, and even though I’d lived at Bella Vista longer than I’d lived anywhere, it never really felt like home. At least, not the way I’d always imagined home should feel like.

  When we got to the restaurant, the host informed us that Ned and Greg were already there, and led us to a table in the back, behind a large, fake waterfall. I stared at it for a few seconds, mesmerized, until I felt Adam tugging on my hand.

  The family resemblance was undeniable; that was the first thing I noticed when we reached our table. All three of them had the same espresso colored eyes and dark hair, though Ned’s was beginning to turn grey at the temples. Greg was about an inch taller than Adam, but thinner and with less noticeably handsome features.

  “Oh it’s so good to see you honey!” Julia exclaimed, embracing Greg immediately. A few people turned to stare, and he looked embarrassed. This bothered me, even though I knew I shouldn’t take it personally. Some people just really didn’t know what they had.

  “You, too, Mom,” he said, patting her back lightly. She pulled away and studied him for a minute, as though she needed to commit his face to memory.

  Greg turned away and focused his attention on Adam, and then me. He raised his eyebrows. “Hey, little brother,” he said. Julia moved away and took her seat, and Adam and Greg quickly shook hands.

  “Hi, Greg. This is Lainey, my girlfriend,” Adam introduced us.

  Greg’s eyes rested on for a moment, and I felt immediately uncomfortable, like he could sense everything I didn’t want him to know about me. I smiled nervously and he nodded, but made no move to offer a hand or a hug. I was perfectly fine with that.

  Adam pulled back a chair for me, and then sat beside me. A waiter came and filled the wine glasses already on the table with water, and Ned cleared his throat, breaking the silence.

  “So, how did everything go earlier?” He asked. Ned had been away up north on a business trip all week, and had driven to pick Greg up, instead of having him drive down or take a plane, so he’d missed out on much of the excitement of my moving in.

  “Everything went good,” Julia said. “We still have to pick up some things later on, but Lainey has enough to last for a bit.” She reached over and gave my hand a quick squeeze. “We’ll get her settled in.”

  “What?” Greg asked, raising his eyebrows. “What’s going on?”

  “Lainey has moved in with us,” Julia explained, turning back to her older son.

  “When did this happen?”

  “A few hours ago, actually.” Julia chuckled, but Greg didn’t look amused.

  “Why?” He asked. “Aren’t you a little young to be moving your girlfriend in, Adam?”

  Adam and Julia exchanged glances. “I’m guessing Dad didn’t tell you,” Adam remarked.

  “Tell me what?”

  “Lainey is pregnant, Greg,” Julia said, before Adam got the chance to. “She’s about fifteen weeks along right now, and we’ve decided it’s best for her to start living with us now, instead of waiting for the baby to arrive.”

  “Are you serious?” Greg asked, his voice a little too loud. He didn’t look like an excited uncle to be, that was for sure. I reached for Adam’s hand under the table.

  “Greg,” Ned warned, his voice low. “Don’t make a scene.”

  “This is unbelievable,” Greg declared, ignoring his father. “I should have figured you’d pull something like this.”

  “Pull something like what?” Adam asked, squeezing my hand too tightly. I winced and tried to pull it away, but his grip remained strong.

  “Knocking a girl up before you graduate high school. How old is she, anyway? Fifteen?”

  “Sixteen, and don’t talk about her like she isn’t sitting right here.”

  “Well, all I can say is, don’t expect me to be buying this kid presents for Christmas and birthdays,” Greg said, shaking his head. “Unbelievable.”

  “I don’t expect shit from you, Greg,” Adam retorted. “I never did.”

  “Boys,” Julia warned. “Stop arguing over this. Greg, you’re being very rude about this. I know having your brother becoming a father at eighteen isn’t something you might have pictured for him, but it happened and we’re dealing with it. And Adam, don’t talk to your brother like that.”

  “I’d prefer not talking to him at all,” Adam said. Greg opened his mouth to reply, but seemed to think better of it, and just shook his head instead. Julia sighed, and Ned appeared focused on his menu.

  “So I guess this rules college out, huh?” Greg asked. I assumed he had to have that one last little jab, and even Ned was starting to look a little annoyed.

  “Yeah, but not all of us can be Princeton graduates like you, Greg,” Adam said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

  “I’m not that surprised to hear the past part,” Greg admitted. “I never really figured you were heading there anyway.”

  “Okay, enough!” Ned announced. “If I hear one more negative word out of either of you, I’m locking you both in a room together for the night and you can either talk it out or fight it out, but I’m done with it. Got it?”

  Apparently they did, because all conversation and eye contact between them came to a sudden halt.

  The rest of dinner passed by slowly, the conversation light and infrequent. I hated that silence seemed to follow me wherever I went, that families never seemed to get along when I pretended I was a part of them.

  I was feeling worse about the situation by the time we were preparing to leave, but on the way out of the restaurant, Julia walked next to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “Are you okay?” She asked, sounding concerned. “You barely said a word throughout dinner.”

  I forced a smile. “I guess I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed,” I admitted.

  “I’m sure you are. Today was a big day for you, and yesterday was maybe even a little worse. At least tomorrow is your last day of school before winter break, and then you can really get some much needed relaxation in.”

  “Yeah, that sounds good.” I smiled, thinking of the week and a half of no school that lay ahead of me. Christmas fell on a Wednesday this year, so we only had one day this week, which was very mandatory since most teachers were waiting to hand out winter break assignments, and then we were free until the following Thursday. I’ve always enjoyed school, but after the last few weeks, I needed a break.

  Greg drove home with Ned, and Adam and I drove back with Julia, who tried to start a conversation with Adam a few times, but was met with stony silence every time. Apparently his brother’s opinion mattered a lot more than he was willing to admit.

  As soon as we got to the house, Adam started up the stairs, leaving me in the foyer, glancing nervously from each family member to the next. “Well, um, it was really nice meeting you, Greg,” I found myself saying, though I wasn’t entirely sure I meant it. He nodded, but didn’t bother saying anything back.

  Julia gave me a long, warm hug and a kiss on the temple. “Sleep well, honey,” she said, smoothing my hair back. “Just remember, one more day and you’re free for nine.”

  “Good night,” Ned added, and I smile
d at him. I’d gotten to know him only a little more in the last month; he was almost always away on business, but apparently he waited until the holidays to start taking more time off. I wasn’t really sure where he stood on this entire situation, and I never felt secure enough to ask.

  Adam’s door was closed, so I decided against stopping in and saying goodnight to him. He was clearly upset about everything that had happened at dinner, and I didn’t want to add to it. Deep down I was pretty sure none of this was my fault, that he and Greg simply didn’t have a good relationship, but there was still some doubt. It was hard to ignore the trail of dysfunction within families that seemed to follow me wherever I went.

  I brushed my teeth and washed my face and changed into a pair of shorts and a baggy t-shirt. It was only around nine o’clock, early for bed even for me, but I decided to go ahead and sleep anyway. Tomorrow might be the only day of school for more than a week, but that didn’t mean it was going to be easy to get through. Ms. Freeman had announced she was handing out our winter break assignment that day, as an initiative to get kids to actually show up for school, and knowing her, it was going to be a bit of a challenge. I hadn’t admitted my pregnancy to her yet, but I had a feeling she was starting to catch on, and I wanted to make sure to impress her one last time before her opinion on me was shattered for good.

  I had just climbed into bed and shut off the light when the door began to open slowly. “Are you asleep already?” I heard Adam ask. I sat up and turned the light back on. He was still dressed from dinner, though his jacket was gone and the first few buttons of his shirt were undone.

  “No,” I said, patting the spot next to me. He came in and closed the door behind him.

  “I wanted to apologize.”

  “For what?”

  “Arguing with my brother at dinner. It was unnecessary and I know you’ve probably got a lot going on in your mind right now, you didn’t need to deal with that.”

  “It’s fine,” I told him, reaching up and touching the side of his face. “I know he frustrates you.”

  “I shouldn’t have been surprised by the way he reacted,” he admitted. “I don’t even think Greg’s had a semi-serious girlfriend in his life. He has no idea what it’s like to be in love.”

  “That’s unfortunate for him,” I remarked.

  Adam grinned and rested his forehead against mine. “Yeah, it is, huh?”

  “Definitely.” I pulled Adam closer and kissed him. He tasted faintly of mint. I pulled him closer.

  “Can I stay in here tonight?” He asked, breaking the kiss off.

  “It’s your house,” I reminded him. “You don’t have to ask.”

  “It’s yours now, too. I didn’t know if you wanted a break from me or not.”

  “Never.” I unbuttoned the rest of his shirt for him, running my hands over the smooth skin underneath. He slid off his pants and then got under the covers with me, pulling me close to him so that my head rested just underneath his chin.

  “I don’t want to do anything tonight,” he told me. “I just want to hold you while we sleep. Is that okay?”

  I kissed his throat in response. We both fell asleep within minutes.

  Chapter Nineteen

  When it was just my dad and I, we never had traditions, even on Christmas Eve. We would usually just heat up whatever frozen dinner we had sitting in the freezer and find something on television that would hold our interest until it was time to go to bed, and when we woke up the next morning, we would exchange gifts. I grew up knowing Santa wasn’t real.

  That all changed after he met Nora. They married in December, so the first Christmas was the most special. We’d just moved into Bella Vista and it was still in disrepair, so we more or less all lived in the living room, sleeping in sleeping bags and always together, except when Hannah and I were away at school.

  That Christmas Eve, Nora made a huge dinner, probably the biggest feast I’d ever seen in my life. It was far too much food for four people, but the leftovers came in handy the following week when construction began and Nora didn’t have the time to prepare lunch and dinner for everyone. We didn’t have a table yet, so we sat around the living room, the food in between us, eating off of Nora’s fine china, a leftover wedding gift from her marriage to Hannah’s father, and talking about our future and what it held for all of us now. That night is one of my favorite memories, and one I found myself holding onto tighter than usual as Christmas Eve rolled around again.

  A year from now, I’d be the mother of a six month old infant. I knew next to nothing about babies, but I assumed six months was too young to care very much about presents or really understand what was going on. But it would be so momentous, anyway. Baby’s first Christmas.

  It still didn’t feel real to me. I could accept my pregnancy as a medical condition, but the reality of an actual human being growing inside of me still felt impossible. I wasn’t sure that was something I could ever fully comprehend, although Julia assured me I would. For the past few days she’d been reassuring me to enjoy my pregnancy the best I could, especially now that the morning sickness was fading and I wasn’t big enough yet to feel too uncomfortable in my own skin. It wasn’t ideal, she reminded me, but it was still amazing. Pregnancy was a beautiful thing.

  She said the last part with a bit of wistfulness, leaving me to believe that maybe she regretted not having any more children after Adam. She’d admitted she always hoped for a girl, but then added that gender didn’t really matter so much. She was more than happy with her two boys, and maybe she’d get a granddaughter. I told her I hoped not.

  Somehow the idea of having a boy seemed easier. Adam would be there to teach him all about sports and cowboys and whatever else little boys enjoyed, and I’d be there to clean up after them and feed the baby and whatever other practical things needed to be done. I had no idea how to be a mother to a little girl. I never really remembered being one.

  As the day progressed, I kept wondering if Nora was going to keep up the Christmas Eve tradition. There were no guests at Bella Vista as far as I knew, now that Teagan was gone. Hannah wouldn’t so much as look at me at school the day before, and I’d given up on trying to talk to her. It was clear she was mad at me, and there was nothing I could do about it.

  The Montgomery’s were having a Christmas party the next day, but Julia explained that their Christmas Eves were usually pretty quiet, just the four of them. Sometimes they would watch Christmas movies; sometimes they would just sit around and discuss whatever was on anyone’s mind. When Adam and Greg were little, they would sing Christmas carols, but they’d since grown out of that tradition and refused to go back to it, even for old time’s sake. I had to admit that was a little disappointing; I wasn’t even sure if I knew a full Christmas carol, but it might be fun to try.

  After lunch, Adam, Greg and Ned all left in search of a Christmas tree, and I retreated to my bedroom to start working on the winter break project Ms. Freeman had assigned. We were supposed to write a five page essay on someone we admired and why, and I’d chosen Harper Lee. It seemed like an easy enough task, and I wanted to get it done as quickly as possible so I wouldn’t have to worry about it for the rest of break.

  A knock sounded on the door, and Julia stepped into the room. “What are you doing?” She asked, noticing me writing in a notebook.

  “Outlining the assignment I have due for English,” I explained.

  “It’s Christmas Eve!”

  “I know, but it needs to get done, better sooner than later.”

  Julia walked over and sat down next to where I was laying. “Well, I think you should give it a break, at least until after Christmas is over. What are you writing about, anyway?”

  “Harper Lee. She wrote To Kill a Mockingbird and never published again, but she led a pretty interesting life, regardless.”

  Julia smiled. “I know who Harper Lee is.”

  “A lot of people don’t.” By a lot of people, I meant Hannah. But then, I hadn’t had a chance to
mention who I was writing about, since she wouldn’t talk to me; but I was pretty sure she wouldn’t know, and she’d give me that look that told me she thought I was crazy. I never thought I’d miss that look, but suddenly I did, very much.

  Julia removed the pen and notebook from my hands and placed them on the nightstand beside me. “Well, not everyone is as smart as you are, Lainey. Remember that, okay? You’re a smart girl. You don’t always need to go above and beyond your expectations for yourself. It’s Christmas Eve, try to relax and enjoy it.”

  “There’s nothing to do,” I pointed out.

  “Have you considered going over to visit with your dad and Hannah? And even Nora?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Hannah is mad at me, Nora hates me, and I’d rather not know what my dad is up to.”

  Julia laughed, but there was sympathy hidden in it. “All good reasons, but not good enough to not see your family on Christmas Eve. You should at least stop by; let them know you’re thinking of them. Give them any gifts you might have already bought?”

  “I left all their gifts there,” I replied. “Hannah will find them and hand them out.” Or keep them all for herself. I didn’t care much, either way.

  “Even if she’s mad at you?”

  “Most of them are for her. Of course she’s going to open them.”

  Julia ran her hand over my hair. “I just hate the thought of you not seeing your family for Christmas. If you don’t go over tonight, will you go tomorrow?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t want to. I’d rather just stay here.”

  Julia considered my words, and nodded. “Okay, I can’t force you to. But let me know if you change your mind, okay? I’ll be more than happy to drive you over, no matter what time it is.”

  I nodded and she planted a kiss on the top of my head before leaving the room, closing the door behind her.

  Was I doing the right thing, staying away? I didn’t know the answer to that. It seemed the older I got, the less I knew. I didn’t want to see Nora or my dad, that was for sure. But I missed Hannah.