Forbidden

by Jess Michaels

  “Where?” Gabriel asked, his voice hollow.

  “Windport,” Jude said quietly. “Further south, by the sea. Another half day’s travel from both my mother’s and here. And you all can go to my mother’s in case Audrey is still there.”

  As Edward and Evan both opened their mouths to speak, Gabriel moved forward. “No. I’m going with you, Samson.”

  Edward blinked. “What?”

  “If Claire is still there and Audrey somehow finds her, I want to talk to her myself.” Gabriel swallowed hard. “And I’m certainly not leaving Audrey alone with you.”

  Jude hesitated. Alone with Audrey was exactly what he felt he needed to be if he was going to convince her to give up her quest to find Claire and come home. But he could see from Gabriel’s lifted chin and stubborn expression that he wasn’t being given a choice. He looked at Edward.

  “Is that acceptable to you?” he asked softly. “You and Evan go to my mother’s home and I’ll go to Windport with Gabriel?”

  “It seems the best solution,” Edward responded, though he didn’t make eye contact with Jude. “Come, we’ll prepare and we should be off as quickly as we can be.”

  “What will we tell Mama?” Evan interrupted.

  Edward sighed. “Mama. Yes. I think we’ll just tell her that we’re going shooting for a night. Mary can sit with her. We shouldn’t upset her if there is no news to tell.”

  Jude lifted his chin. “Yes, sometimes it is better not to hurt those we love with the truth.”

  All three men looked at him a long moment, and he saw the double meaning of his words was understood. Perhaps they even took it to heart. Jude had damaged his friendships. But he hoped, when this was all over, he might still have something left with this family to salvage.

  “Come,” he said, thinking of Audrey and the danger she might be in if she stumbled upon Aston instead of her sister. Danger that might not be able to be undone. “We must hurry.”

  Audrey smiled at Mrs. Samson as the woman passed her a plate of pastries. She wasn’t hungry, but she took one out of politeness. She sighed. Mrs. Samson looked so much like Jude. They shared dark blue eyes, the shape of their faces. Even the nose was the same.

  And she missed him with a pang that she couldn’t ignore.

  “I was so pleased when you landed on my door, my lady,” Mrs. Samson said. “Though surprised to find you there so late and without your family as chaperone.”

  Audrey swallowed. “Well, as I said, I was visiting a friend and left too late. I recalled that you lived in this shire and having heard from Jude—Samson that you had been unwell I thought I would call. Thank you so much for your hospitality.”

  Mrs. Samson cut a slice of ham on her plate as she stared at Audrey thoughtfully. “Is that all?”

  Audrey blinked. “All?”

  “My dear, though I may not be as close to your family as my son has become through the years, I am not a stranger to them or to you.” Mrs. Samson leaned forward. “I know better than to think you came here by accident. So tell me, is there anything wrong with my son?”

  Audrey’s lips parted. “No,” she said swiftly. “No, I left him…I left him well.”

  With a gasp, Mrs. Samson leaned back in her chair. “You know.”

  “Know?” Audrey squeaked, shocked by that accusation. Did that mean Jude’s mother was aware of his betrayals?

  “You know that he cares for you, beyond friendship.”

  Audrey recoiled at her words, at her utter faith in them. It seemed Jude’s heart had been obvious to some, even if it had never been to her. “Mrs. Samson,” Audrey began.

  “Hilda,” the other woman said firmly.

  “Hilda,” she corrected herself. “I-I do know that your son cares for me.” She squeezed her eyes shut. In truth, she still knew that. She knew he loved her. Whatever mistakes he had made, they had never trumped that. “But that isn’t why I’m here.”

  “No?” Hilda pushed her plate away. “Then why?”

  “I think your son might know where my sister is. Or he did.”

  Hilda’s eyes grew suddenly sad. The same way Jude’s had when he explained his betrayal to Audrey the previous day.

  “My God, that boy has been looking for your sister for so long. I see it weigh on him when he speaks about it. The guilt he carries…”

  Audrey flinched. She doubted his mother knew any more than the rest of them had about why Jude carried so much guilt about his part in Claire’s disappearance.

  “He loves your family so deeply. Since we were put out by his father’s relations, he’s been so attached.” Hilda frowned.

  “Your husband’s family was unkind to you, especially, I know.”

  Her eyes widened. “He told you?”

  She nodded. “A little.”

  “Well, that makes sense, caring for you as he does.” Audrey remained silent and Hilda continued, “His father resented us for what he lost through his marriage to me. And so he didn’t defend us as he should.”

  Audrey hesitated before she said, “He told me that his father’s side of the family ignored him. He wasn’t allowed to play with the cousins and the like.”

  “Is that what he told you?” Hilda’s eyes filled with tears. “He spared you the worst. They abused him.”

  Audrey drew back. “Abused?”

  “They called him names. In public.” She caught her breath, the lingering pain still apparent in her voice. “And they called me names as well. His cousins would taunt him into making a physical attack, and when he did? He was beaten for it. I tried to stop it, but there was nothing I could do. I had no power. Eventually we were relegated to the country and I was just as happy for it. Jude might have been lonely there, but at least he wasn’t being hurt.”

  Audrey caught her breath. “I didn’t know it was so bad.”

  “Terrible.” Hilda sighed. “Which was why when he found such love and acceptance from your family, he grasped it with both hands. I think he would do almost anything for you and your brothers and your sister. He would certainly do anything to keep from losing you.”

  Audrey shut her eyes. She had seen evidence of that fact, hadn’t she? Jude had kept his secrets. But why? Because of fear of losing the love of the one family that had accepted him.

  “Oh, I’m prattling on. I only wanted to say how sorry I am for your family that your sister ran away. I can’t imagine losing my son like that.” Hilda shook her head. “But why would you come here to talk to me about it?”

  “Jude visited you recently,” Audrey said, trying to set her feelings aside. Trying to focus on her goals rather than the new empathy she had for Jude and his reasons for what he’d done. “I think he went to find Claire after he visited you. Do you recall him speaking to you about where he was going after he left you a few weeks ago?”

  Hilda pursed her lips. “He mentioned returning to London,” she offered. “He talked about your brother’s estates and such. The management duties.”

  Audrey shook her head. “No, I don’t think it was London. Did he say any other place, any other name?”

  After a moment in thought, Hilda perked up. “Windport.”

  Audrey almost sagged in relief. “Do you know anything about it?”

  “It’s a town half a day’s travel to the south along the coast. He talked about fishing and the curative baths and said he had a bit of business to do between.”

  “Well, that may be where he went to seek out my sister.”

  Hilda frowned. “And why aren’t you doing this seeking with him at your side?”

  Audrey shifted. “I—because-I—”

  “You showed up here alone,” Hilda continued. “Out of the blue, with these very dark and deep problems on your mind. He doesn’t know you’re doing this, does he?”

  Audrey shook her head. “No. No one does.

  “He’s told me a bit about the man who took your Claire,” Hilda said, reaching out. Audrey couldn’t help but note her gnarled hand, made twisted by arthritis.
But she still gripped Audrey’s hand tightly as she said, “That rogue is dangerous, my lady.”

  Audrey blinked at sudden tears. “I know. And that’s why I must find my sister if I can. Perhaps I can help her.”

  “I don’t like it, you going alone.”

  “I won’t be.” Audrey smiled with what she hoped would be read as reassurance. “I have my maid and my driver is very well-armed.”

  Well-armed and rather reluctant to help her, but she’d still managed to convince him to do so.

  Hilda shifted. “Jude will be very angry with me if I allow you to go.”

  Audrey patted her hand gently before she stood. “No, he’ll be angry with me.”

  “You?” Hilda laughed. “Not possible.”

  “Why?”

  “He loves you.”

  Audrey squeezed her eyes shut. There was that reminder again, of the true feelings Jude had for her. The ones she was trying to forget. “Why are you so sure?” she whispered.

  “Because from the first moment he saw you, he would have done anything for you.” Hilda tilted her head. “He lives to see you and he would die for you. It’s in every word he says about you, every way he looks when you’re mentioned or seen. But I have a question for you.”

  “I’ll try to answer it,” Audrey said, even as she looked out the door toward the foyer. She didn’t want to be rude, but she wanted so desperately to get to Windport.

  “Do you love him in return?” Hilda leaned forward. “I see pain in your eyes when you speak of him. But also something more. Do you love him?”

  Audrey sucked in her breath. “I do.”

  “Then you should wait for him,” Hilda said.

  “Wait for him?”

  “He’ll be coming for you once he knows you’ve gone off on this errand. I know him.”

  Audrey let out her breath in a ragged sigh. “You are likely right, Hilda. And I swear to you, I love him with all my heart. But I can’t wait for him. Not for this.”

  The older woman frowned, but made no move to stop Audrey as she stepped toward the exit. “She might not be there.”

  “But I have to look.” Audrey smiled. “Thank you for your help. I hope I’ll see you again soon.”

  She hurried from the breakfast room and to the foyer, where she asked Mrs. Samson’s servant to call for her carriage and gather up Ursula from the servant quarters.

  Her mind was a spinning top at present. But she had to follow the course she had laid out for herself. For her sister’s future. And for her own.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  “Have you seen my sister?” Audrey asked, her heart racing just as it had been for the hour she had been walking around Windport, questioning each person she passed by and at every store she entered. The man behind the counter wrinkled his brow.

  “You say she doesn’t look much like you,” he said.

  Audrey tried to practice patience. “Not much,” she admitted. “Her hair is blonde rather than dark and her face is more oval. She has green eyes, not brown like mine. But we have the same nose.”

  He tilted his head, as if he were looking at her nose. Then he shrugged. “What was her name again?”

  “Claire,” she said as calmly as she could. “Claire Aston.” How she hated giving that name. “She’s married to a man named Jonathon Aston?”

  The shopkeep shrugged. “Sorry, miss, I dunno. I see a lot of people here. And I have customers. So if you’re not going to buy, I need to move along.”

  Audrey held back a sob as she nodded and turned toward the door. Ursula stood by there, her arms folded and her face filled with disapproval. “Lady Audrey, this is a bad idea.”

  Audrey gritted her teeth in frustration. “Yes, so you have been saying for nearly two days.”

  “It’s been a bad idea for two days. Let us go back to the room at the reputable hotel you made poor Carson get for us. And then let’s go home, back to your family. Before something bad happens.”

  Audrey rolled her eyes as she opened the door. “Nothing bad is going to—”

  She had hardly taken a step outside and hadn’t finished her statement when her arm was caught and she was dragged from the store and around the corner into an alleyway. As the man who had taken her leaned into her, she heard Ursula calling for her from the street.

  “What—what do you want?” she whispered.

  In the dim light, she saw a thin, wiry man, his beard scruffy and his hair too long. His eyes were bright and his grip hard on her arms as he held her.

  “Why are you asking about Claire?” he growled.

  Audrey’s lips parted and her reasonable terror was replaced by wild hope, even in the face of this man’s mad expression. “Do you know her?”

  “She’s the boss’s lady,” he growled. “What you want with her?”

  Audrey could hardly breathe. “You work for Aston?”

  He shrugged. “Tell me.”

  “She’s my sister and I only want to talk to her. Please, won’t you at least pass a message to her? Tell her I want to meet her?”

  His face twisted and he seemed to ponder the question. “If I do, will you stop asking about her?”

  Audrey wrinkled her brow. “Why?”

  “You’re drawing attention, missy,” he growled. “And the boss won’t like that.”

  “If you tell her I’m here, that I’m looking for her, I won’t ask another soul.” She held his gaze. “I promise it.”

  He examined her for a moment and then let her go. “There’s a tavern on the east end of the main street. Budgeons. Get a room there and by seven and keep the room’s window open.”

  “You’ll bring my sister?” she gasped.

  He smiled, and the cruelty in his eyes made her regret showing how much she hoped that were true. “Someone will come. Now fly, little bird.”

  He turned her toward the street and pushed her. By the time she spun back, he was gone and the alley was empty. She staggered toward the street where she still heard Ursula calling for her. Although she knew what she was being told to do was risky, in fact outright dangerous, it was the first time in nearly two years that she’d had even an inkling about her sister.

  And if hearing something, anything, about her meant risk, then risk Audrey was going to take.

  The four hours it had taken Jude and Gabriel to ride to Windport were some of the most awkward of his life. His old friend had hardly spoken to him, barely acknowledged him at all. It felt a little like his childhood whenever he was forced to visit his father’s relations.

  And he hated that.

  As the sun began to set, they slowed their mounts as they reached the outskirts of the sleepy seaside village. Gabriel finally cast him a side glance. “I know my sister does what she wants.”

  Jude frowned. “Audrey has her own mind, yes.”

  “Oh, yes, Audrey too. But I meant…I meant Claire.”

  He jerked his gaze to Gabriel in surprise. “Do you?”

  “You may have introduced her to Aston, but she chose to run away with him. I’ve asked her a dozen times why in my letters. Obviously he tricked her into the initial departure, but why didn’t she come home once his true nature was revealed? We would have protected her. We would have sheltered her if she needed it. But her letters are…vague about the man and their dealings. None of that has anything to do with you.” Gabriel sighed. “She’s my twin, but I fear if it hadn’t been Aston, it would have been someone else. She wanted to run. She was determined to do so.”

  Jude pressed his lips together. “That was the impression I got when speaking to her here as well. But that may change, Gabriel. Whatever drove her away, there is no way she won’t come home someday.”

  “Why?” Gabriel asked.

  “Because your family is loving. Forgiving. Welcoming. I’ve felt all those things. I hope to feel them again, even though I don’t deserve it. Who could stay away?” He frowned.

  Jude thought he saw some of the kindness creep back in his friend’s eyes. But h
e only cleared his throat. “We should split up.”

  Jude arched a brow. “But what if I find your sister first? What happened to not wanting me to be alone with her?”

  Gabriel laughed. “If you can convince her to do something with you in whatever short amount of time you’ll have together, then there would be no stopping you anyway.”

  Jude returned the smile. “You take the west side of town, I’ll take the east.”

  “That sounds right. And I’ll take the southern approach, you take the northern. Meet in the square.”

  Jude nodded and watched as his friend rode south to begin his portion of the search. With a sigh, Jude withdrew the miniature of Audrey that was still in his jacket pocket and got off his horse. After he’d secured the animal, he went into the first shop on the eastern side of the main thoroughfare.

  Three shops later, he was no closer to finding Audrey. Many of the shopkeeps recalled him from his previous visit. Of course, that time he had been meeting Claire in a specific place, a dingy bar on the side of town he had chosen. Unlike some of the nicer shops that catered to visitors coming to town for the restorative waters, this place was for the dockworkers who staggered in after their work was done for the night.

  He shuddered as he pushed back into the cramped building. The idea of Audrey coming here was blood-curdling. She was so pretty, so fresh, she would no doubt garner attention from the men who came here. Both the tired working men who only wanted respite and the less savory ones who might prey on a lady of quality and innocence.

  He looked around the bar. With evening approaching it was still mostly empty, but the clientele didn’t look particularly friendly. In the back at a table, a few men looked up at him, glared at him, sizing him up. Jude stood up a bit straighter and clenched a fist at his side in readiness before he moved over to the bar that ran along the right wall of the establishment. A man was wiping down the surface with a dirty rag and glared at Jude.

  “What?”

  He held out the miniature. “I’m looking for a young woman,” he said.