Living with Regrets (No Regrets book 2)

by Aimee Noalane

  “Name, ID card, and the reason for your visit at our offices today.”

  I bet ordering a Big Mac at McDonalds is more pleasant than this receptionist…

  “Hi,” I smiled. “I’m Oliver Langton. I don’t have a card, but I’m here to meet Cole and Mark Hunter. I’m the case worker from BC working with Mrs. Steller.”

  She barely gave me a side glance. She seemed annoyed by my presence, but mostly by the fact that she got interrupted texting on her cell phone. “Sign your name here in the register, and I’ll buzz you in.”

  Cole lifted his head when I passed the metal doors. As I saw his relieved face, I knew that he had been anxious to see me. I felt the urge to reassure him as soon as our eyes met but was unfortunately interrupted by an elderly woman extending her hand.

  “Hi, you must be Oliver Langton.”

  My eyes left his and I nodded to the woman. “I’m Jane Steller, Cole’s case worker.”

  “It’s nice to finally meet you, Jane.”

  “Abby mentioned you were a looker,” she cooed.

  “Abby said I was a looker?” I asked surprised.

  “Well not in so many words, but an old woman learns how to read between the lines.” She winked. “How was your flight?”

  “Long and loud. Traveling twice in the same month is not what I call fun,” I commented.

  “Then let’s do this thing right so you won’t need to come back.”

  That’s the plan… sort of.

  “Hey, Jane. Does Abby know I’m in town?”

  “If she does, she hasn’t found out from me. We only spoke once because her name was on the police report. I don’t tend to talk about my cases unless I’m in need of another professional’s opinion.”

  I gave her a curt nod, feeling relieved that Abby didn’t know I was here, but also appreciative that a senior case worker like Jane thought my presence would be beneficial to her case.

  “Since we already spoke on the phone to establish the facts, there is no need to go over them again, except of course if you have any questions before we start.”

  The court date was set for Friday that week. Jane and I had rigged up a big enough case against Cole’s mother to settle the whole thing fast. The plan for the week would be simple enough. I was to meet Mr. Hunter that same day and so would Cole, establishing the first contact between father and son. Jane had already paid the family regular visits in the previous few weeks, so she knew more about the family than I did. On Tuesday afternoon, Cole would be spending some quality time with his father outside the offices, and Wednesday he would meet the remainder of his family members. On Thursday, while Jane met with his family and elaborated a plan for the following few weeks, I would be taking Cole to the indoor skateboard park I researched online. I was to address his expectations and apprehensions about his father, according to Jane, I was the best suited for the job.

  “I’m good to go, Jane. But would you mind if I had a moment alone with Cole?

  “Go ahead. I need to talk with his dad anyway. I’ll be waiting in that room as soon as you’re ready.”

  “That took you long enough,” Cole criticized.

  I smiled. It was the same attitude he had given me when he lectured me at my Aunt Jenna’s house.

  “Hey, Cole.” I extended my fist and he bumped it with a smirk. “How are you?”

  He shrugged. “You?”

  “I’m good. Under-rested, but I’ll be okay. You look nervous.”

  “You met Jane,” he replied avoiding the subject.

  “I did. She looks cool.”

  “She’s old,” he complained.

  “Being old isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

  He rolled his eyes at me. “Why couldn’t Abby take care of this?”

  “Well, first of all because it doesn’t fit her job description. Also, the fact that she’s known you most of your life could become a conflict of interest in court. We wouldn’t want that to play against us. Jane and I want what’s best for you, Cole.”

  “Yeah, well I trust Abby.”

  “I get it. Cole, I know this isn’t easy. But I’m asking you to try and put that trust in Jane and me.”

  His eyes met mine giving a worried nod.

  Man I wish I could fix all the shit this kid’s been through…

  I made a mental note to request a psychological counseling session as an obligation to the ruling. Cole would need to work on his abandonment issues.

  The room where Mr. Hunter waited wasn’t as bad as the entrance hall. The sifted lighting illuminated the soft grey walls where he sat, fidgeting, exactly like his son had been doing about fifteen minutes earlier. It was funny to see the resemblance between the two even though they had been separated for years.

  I notified Cole that I’d be watching him on the other side of the one-way glass, and that if at any time he felt uncomfortable, all he had to do was let me know with a curt nod. I’d pull him out, no questions asked.

  The sad man’s eyes shot up from the round table he was sitting at, as soon as the door opened. I could feel the love and pride in his tears when he saw his son for the first time in far too long. I couldn’t help feeling the pangs in my own heart.

  “Cole,” he breathed.

  “Hey, Dad.”

  Recalling my conversation with Cole in Jenna’s guest room, I expected him to be angry or bitter because of his father’s disappearance, but I was wrong. Not only was he genuinely happy, but he looked relieved to be in the same room as his father. Mark stood pulling his son in a warm hug. I could sense Jane’s discomfort: he had been warned to let Cole come to him and not the other way around, but I guess parental urges sometimes make people do things that they shouldn’t do.

  They were both overjoyed by their reunion, so she let them be, watching their interaction with a soothed smile.

  Cole’s father waited for Jane to step out before he examined his son, scrutinizing every bump and bruise. I was infuriated when I found out his asshole of a stepfather had bruised his ribs. My guess was that Jane had told Mr. Hunter about the injuries before Cole walked in, and he wanted to make sure his son was healing properly.

  “Are you okay?” she asked me, walking into the observing room.

  “I’m fine.” I wiped my unshed tears.

  “Looks to me like this is hitting close to home.”

  I gave her a curt nod.

  “Were you placed in foster care when you were younger?”

  “No.” I looked away from the window. I was unable to watch the two of them anymore, so I took a seat on the nearest chair. “My dad passed away when I was sixteen. It’s just hard to watch, I guess…”

  She gave me a tight smile and directed her attention back to the other room, leaving me to my own thoughts and pain.

  Rendered Happiness

  Oliver

  The week went by quicker than I anticipated. Cole and his family were getting along great, and I got the chance to meet up with Stephan and Tyler a few times for dinner, rekindling our friendship.

  The morning of the trial, my Uncle Jerry called to inform me that he had received an offer on my house. I thought it was absolutely ridiculous since it had been on the market for barely a week and that I was asking an unbelievably high price for it. But, according to him, they had accepted my extravagant demands and needed an answer by the end of the day. All I had to do was to fill out the forms from his real-estate company that he would be sending through via email, sign and fax them back. Since I didn’t know when I’d be back to Vancouver, he also asked that I mail the original copy to his office that same day.

  I did it. I was scared shitless.

  ···

  “I hate you,” Nancy Andrews yelled at her son’s father when the judge ruled in our favor to entrust Cole to his dad. It was no surprised to us, but his mother went ballistic. “Having a child with you was the worst mistake of my life. A fucking accident that I wish was never born.”

  I shook my head.

  What a poor excu
se for a mother.

  “And you,” she looked directly at me. “You’re going to regret this. I’ll make sure you understand exactly what happens when someone messes with your family and the ones you love.”

  I ignored her. I was used to parental threats, and Cole’s mother had lost her fucking mind. At least the judge got furious at her too. She told her that if she didn’t leave the courthouse in a respectable manner immediately, she would have her held in contempt of the court. We all watched when Nancy Andrews walked away, and I could see remorse in her eyes. It reflected the same pain as her son. My guess was that she regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth.

  Too bad lady, the damage has already been done.

  “So,” I asked Cole once court was adjourned, “can I be your buddy now?”

  He let out a soft chuckle. “I guess you kind of deserve it. Will you be calling Abby now that this is over?”

  When Cole and I went to the skate park he grilled me about her. I told him that I hadn’t spoken with Abbygail in a couple of weeks because she was mad at me, but that I would make things right after the hearing.

  I smiled at him, skittering around the subject. “Do you think you’re going to be okay with everything going on?”

  “I’ll be fine. I know my mom. She’ll come around… eventually. I mean she’s not a bad mom.”

  “She made bad choices. We never said she was a bad mother. She simply needs to learn where her priorities should be.” I gave him a reassuring smile, even though I completely disagreed with his statement, and mine. In the end, though, it really wasn’t my place, nor the time, to argue with him. “I want you to give yourself some time, Cole. It’s important. Once you start to heal, you’ll be able to move on from this and feel better about both parents.”

  “You have no clue what you and Jane just did for me.”

  I winked because I knew very well. He has a chance at a new life. “You know this won’t be easy, though? New family, new rules, new home, new school…” I paused, to make sure I had his full attention. “The important thing is to not give up and to not make this situation define who you are. Turn it into a life experience that you can grow with one day at a time.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “You better do more than try.” I gave him a firm look.

  “Okay, kid,” Jane called a few steps behind us. “We need to go.”

  I took him into a brotherly hug. “You’re awesome, Cole. You’re perceptive and good at making people second guess themselves. It’s a great quality, and I really hope you’ll stay true to yourself.”

  “Thank you for everything.”

  “I enjoyed our time together, and it’s me who should thank you. I promise I’ll make things right with Abbygail, and you promise me that if you need anything at all, you will give me a call.” I handed him my card.

  “I promise, buddy,” he mocked.

  Abbygail

  Three weeks had passed, and I still hadn’t spoken to Oliver. It was hard as hell, but it was entirely my fault.

  During my first week, I was mostly sad, longing for him and his presence. I wanted to be the person I was when we were together, and it scared me. By week two, the heartbroken Abbygail had morphed into pissed off Abby. She wasn’t very pleasant. I was mad at my mom, mad at Oliver, and then I realized that all along I was mad at myself because, in the end, I was as much responsible for the situation as the other two were. The problem was that admitting it to myself would mean that I needed to concede and acknowledge that my mom was right about the letters. It also meant that I would need to accept part of the responsibility of Oliver and me being separated for six years.

  Yeah… there’s no way in hell that’s going to happen. This whole thing is Oliver’s fault.

  Avoidance was my best friend. I was good at pretending that I was okay whenever my friends were around. It was easy, most of the time. I smiled when I needed to, talked when solicited, but my main way out was to keep a busy schedule at all times. Work and running too many kilometers helped me do that.

  By day eleven after Oliver’s departure, Stephan had figured out my ruse and blew up in my face. My best friend decided to put his big brother shirt on and use his annoying tactics to make me talk. And then, he had the nerve to tell me to suck it up. According to him, I should have either called Oliver or moved on. But in both cases I needed to, ‘make a fucking decision’ because I was acting like a fifteen-year-old drama queen, and he was sick and tired of my pity party.

  I got mad at Stephan and didn’t talk to him for almost a week. I may or may not have been really insulting towards him. It took four days for me to get over my sulking and to apologize to my best friend. I realized that he was right, and that it was time for me to stop hiding behind my fears. Oliver and I needed to talk because, regardless of our past, I deserved to be happy and move on with my life. And my first step towards that happiness was Tyler.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Ty. It’s Abby.”

  “Abby?” he teased.

  “Abbygail Evens, you idiot,” I laughed. “How many Abby’s could possibly have your phone number anyway?”

  “You’d be surprised. I’m a pretty popular guy now that I’m no longer in a relationship,” he mocked. I wondered if it was meant to tease or if there were ulterior motives to his comment. “So, Abbygail Evens, you haven’t called me personally in five months. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

  Five months? Already?

  “Um, yeah. Listen, I was wondering if you have any plans this evening?”

  “Are you sure you’re calling the right guy, Abs?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Tyler, I’m sure. Are you available or not?”

  “Of course I am. What can I do for you?”

  “Well, I want to know if you want to have dinner with me tonight.”

  “You’re inviting me out?” He seemed suspicious.

  “I’m not inviting you out. I want to cook you dinner.”

  “You want to cook me dinner.” he repeated.

  “Yes, Tyler.”

  “Just you and me?”

  “Yes, Tyler.”

  “Like alone?” I could hear his teasing smile.

  “Yes, alone and can you not reword or repeat everything I say? It’s pretty fucking annoying.”

  He chuckled softly.

  “We need to talk.”

  “What time?”

  “Six. Maybe? If it’s okay with you.”

  “Yep, I’ll make it work. Later, Angel.”

  ···

  “Abs?” Tyler called out, stepping inside my house without knocking.

  “Hey, Ty.”

  I walked over to join him from the kitchen. He smiled when he saw me, and I shut the door behind him noticing the wet pavement.

  “Did it rain?”

  “Nope. It’s black ice.”

  He hung his coat in my closet and picked mine up off the chair as he always had done in the past. I rolled my eyes at him. Tyler, unlike me, was a clean freak. It use to drive him nuts how I always left my stuff lying around everywhere, all the time.

  Still does…

  He turned to face me. “Does this feel bizarre to you?”

  “No, Ty, it doesn’t. Stop acting weird and come into the kitchen. Dinner is almost ready.”

  “Well, it smells amazing. What did you make?”

  “Your favorite: rosemary garlic filet mignon over oven roasted potatoes and Cesar salad.”

  “Yum.” He kissed my cheek.

  Okay now that was weird…

  “Tell me what you need me to do.”

  While I finished preparing the gravy for the beef, he set the table. It had been a while since the two of us spent some time alone in my house, yet our old habits were still very much present. Honestly, Tyler and I, we just always worked. I guess after living together for so long, we had this unconscious routine that we never grew out of.

  We sat at the table and ate quietly, discussing anything and everythin
g that seemed like a safe subject to talk about. He and I hadn’t been like that in months. Whenever we were around friends, it was easier to put up a barrier and ignore each other, but being alone in my house was an entirely different story. Sitting face-to-face with Tyler made me remember why I liked being with him as much as I did.

  “Okay, Abs, are you going to stop beating around the bush and tell me why I’m in your house having dinner alone with you?”

  “Can’t two friends just hang out without ulterior motives?” I answered defensively.

  “They can, but I mean come on. We’ve been separated for almost six months now, and not once have we spent more than five minutes alone with each other. Friends can spend time together, Abby, but let’s be real. You and I haven’t been friends in over two years.”

  I flinched. That hurt more than he could have ever expected.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just… I’m trying, but it still hurts, okay? I mean, you never want to talk about us. We were together for a long time, Abby. Yet you’re acting like we meant nothing to each other.”

  I don’t act Tyler, I pretend. Pretending makes my life a whole lot easier.

  “And now, the whole thing with Oliver… I don’t know. Abs, my being here alone with you right now kind of makes things difficult to understand. You know?”

  “Yeah I—” I heard a faint knock.

  “Abbygail?” some unfamiliar voice called.

  “Expecting company?”

  “No, not at all. Just give me a sec.” I got up and walked to my door.

  “Abbygail, where the hell are you?” Someone was not only at my door but they just walked inside my house uninvited, and that person was Cole’s mom.

  Fear wasn’t the right word for what I was feeling when I came face to face with my intruder. I even think fucking scared wasn’t a strong enough description because when I stepped out of the kitchen to greet my unwanted guest, I had a nine millimeter pointed at my face and a scary looking man standing by the side of the woman who was holding it.