by Jet MacLeod
I was met at the bard by both Silas and Juan. They seemed really upset and I hadn’t the slightest idea why. Both of them came rushing up to me, rambling on and on so fast that I couldn’t understand either of them.
“Hold on, guys, slow down,” I told him, “One at a time. One at a time or I won’t understand what you are telling me. Now, Juan, what is it?”
“It is Miss Rayne, Reece. She has gone loco. She has locked herself in her room and refuses to come out. You have to do something,” he told me.
“I will do something about that. Just wait and see. Now, Silas, what did you have to tell me?” I asked the boy.
“She is loco, Reece, that’s for sure. She’s been mumbling all day about barbed wire and horses. I don’t know what she means by it, but she was awfully upset. She was pacing in the parlor, ranting and raving. When we asked what was wrong, she ran upstairs and locked herself up. We didn’t know what to do,” the boy answered.
“Rayne es loco, mi amigo, loco,” Juan said.
“I’ll see to her. You boys, do me a favor. Keep everyone away from the house, no matter what you hear. I will deal with her,” I told them.
“What about Jed?” Silas asked.
“I’ll deal with him, senor,” Juan replied.
“Now, Silas, please take care of Scout for me. He has had a rough day and needs some love. Can you do that for me? Give him some oats and hay, too,” I stated.
They walked off, leaving me alone, hoping that I would deal with Miss Rayne and make everything right, again. I could only hope myself that I could do it without hurting anyone in the process, least of all her. I dusted myself off and prepared for war with the woman. I didn’t know what to expect and so I would have to keep on my toes. I knew that she would fight dirty, because I knew that I would too if I was in her position.
I walked into the house and up the stairs to her bedroom. I knocked on the door only to be told in no uncertain terms to leave. I knocked again, not to be dismissed by some angry words, and waited to see if she would open the door for me.
“Go away, you sorry-sap. I don’t want to talk to anyone. Now, get away before I fire you. I want to be alone,” she yelled through the door.
“If that is how you want it, then I’ll go,” I said.
“Reece? Is that you?” she asked.
“It is me. I sent everyone else away. They won’t be bothering you, now. I’ll be on my way as well, since you want to fire me. I can’t say that I blame you,” I stated.
“Wait,” she said, opening the door, “Don’t go.”
It was a plea and one I heard very loudly. I looked her over. She was a mess. She had been crying during her ranting. I had made her cry and I felt ashamed.
“What’s wrong, Miss Rayne?” I asked her.
“Where were you going? You ran from me. You jumped that stupid fence and kept riding. You ran from me. What were you doing?” she questioned.
“I needed to be alone. I needed to think. I needed to get away,” I explained.
“From what? You were running from me, weren’t you? You hate me, don’t you?” she asked, the tears starting anew.
Oh, she was good. She was going to play me for everything see was worth. I knew it. I could see it in her eyes. She was testing me, to see how much she could get away with before real emotion surfaced.
“No,” I answered, “If I was trying to get away from you, I wouldn’t be here. I would be long gone without a thought about you. But, when I want to be alone, I will be alone. No one can take that from me as long as I have my horse. I go for rides to be alone,” I explained.
She stopped crying. She’d lost and she knew it. She couldn’t play me the way she could a man. I was the one person that she didn’t always get her way with. She’d met her match with me and I think she kinda like it.
“Is that all you were doing, earlier?” she asked.
“Dear God, woman, was that you following me?”
“Yes,” she said, timidly.
“I could have shot you, you realize that? What were you thinking? Don’t you know better than to sneak up on a ranch hand like that?” I questioned her.
“You didn’t shoot, though,” she said in defense.
“That doesn’t matter. You could have been killed. That was stupid. I am not going to sugar coat it, that was the stupidest thing that you’ve done since I have been here,” I told her, playing her game.
If she wanted me to feel bad, then she would have to feel bad as well. She wanted to pick a fight with me, then she would have one. I was more than willing to oblige her in this respect. It would help me get out my frustrations and all of my anger.
“I am sorry. I just wanted to talk to you. I thought that you would actually talk to me if I got you alone out in the pastures. When I saw you ride out, I told Silas to mount up Whiskers. I waited a little while and then I headed out after you,” she replied.
“Why? Why did you think that? Wouldn’t it have been easier to wait for me to come back and talk to me alone at the dinner table, like we do every night?” I asked calling her bluff.
She wanted to catch me alone in the pasture so she could have her way with me. In the house, I could always retreat into my room and lock the door. It was a risk that I was willing to take, especially if she had a key to the door. On the open prairie, she would make me forget why I was there and why I was running away to think. She knew it.
“I didn’t think that you would talk to me, after what happened,” she said alluding to my mistake days before.
“I haven’t stopped working for you, have I? No, I still work for you, Miss Rayne and because of that, I have to talk to you. I am sure that you could have found the time to talk to me,” I replied.
“You don’t have to be so cross with me,” she said.
“I am not angry at you. I just don’t see how this temper tantrum is going to help you in anyway. I just wish that you would come out of your room and come down the stairs and have dinner with me,” I explained.
“And, what if I don’t?” she asked, a gleam in her eye telling me that she wanted the mischief.
“Then, I might have to put you across my knee and spank you. But, I am going downstairs to eat the meal that Cookie made for us. I am not going to waste it,” I replied.
Once again, her face soured in defeat. She thought that I was actually going to spank her. I don’t think that would go over very well with anyone. I wasn’t going to try it, no matter how hard she pushed me. I would think about it, severely, but I wouldn’t do it.
“I’ll be down in a minute,” she answered.
“I’ll be waiting,” I replied.
I turned and left her standing in her doorway. She thought that she would win a round of verbal bantering but she failed. She thought that she would corner me and make me do what she wanted, but she failed. I wasn’t some lonely little ranch hand that would be at her beck and call. She was starting to realize that and it was starting to irk her.
I went downstairs to find the meal waiting on me, already set on the table. I was famished and didn’t feel like waiting for her to come down and join me. I jumped right into the food. I made my plate and began to eat. I wasn’t going to apologize for being hungry. Thinking will take a lot out of you and I had been thinking a lot.
Chapter Eighteen
Rayne, the Double Bar Ranch house
I was angry at him. How could he do this to me? He left me standing in my room like nothing was wrong. He was the one leaving and I was the spoiled brat. I don’t think so and I was going to prove it to him. I was going to get my way or my name wasn’t Rayne Denise Whittacre.
I stood there in my room staring at the empty doorway, unbelieving in what had just happened. I decided that I better deal with my emotions before I went down. It would not do me any good to act out when I was down there trying to make myself understood. I had to be calm.
I went downstairs to find him sitting at the table that was ready made for us by Cookie. He sat there with a gla
ss of water and waited for me. He didn’t have a smug look on his face. It was more of a pensive look as he sat there with his glass of water. I didn’t know what to do when he was being so calm and collected.
“What did Cookie make for us tonight?” I asked.
“Some beef and beans. I think there is corn as well. Do you want me to make you a plate of something?” he replied, absentmindedly.
“No, I can do it myself,” I told him.
How could I be mad at him when he wouldn’t give me the satisfaction of having a fight with me? Who did he think he was, sitting there at my table? I had no idea what I was going to do, but it was making me angrier the longer I sat there and he wasn’t trying to fight with me again. I didn’t want to start it but I was going to finish it this time. I was waiting for him to make the first move, and then I would strike.
That was when I noticed the plate in front of him being empty with his fork and knife laying in the middle. He had already eaten and not waited for me. I was furious, but I was trying not to explode at him. It was all I could do not to yell at him for eating without me. Then, I realized that was a stupid reason to be angry. He had probably been hungry and needed something to eat. I couldn’t fault him for that, no matter how mad I was.
I sat down at the table with him and made my plate. He looked at me, still as pensive as ever, and said nothing. I looked at my plate and then at his clean one.
“Do you want some more?” I asked him, civilly.
“No, thank you,” he answered politely.
“Are you sure?” I asked him.
“Yes, Miss Rayne. I am quiet full. Cookie out did himself tonight,” he replied.
“I am sure that he did. He always cooks something great for me to eat. I must remember to thank him for the wonderful meal in the morning,” I said.
“I should be thankful that you let me eat with you and don’t make me eat with the boys. They don’t eat quite as nice as you do, Miss Rayne,” he responded.
“Yes, maybe you should, but it doesn’t matter. I am wondering if I should ask you to go with us to the round up in Amarillo. I think that I should leave you here. Then you would have to wait for me to come back, before you left,” I stated to him, trying to get a rise out of him.
“That is up to you, Miss Rayne. As you said earlier, you are the boss of this ranch. I did agree to work for you until after the round up. I will work here if you want me to do so, but I was hoping to go with you so I could just break away and leave then. I don’t have much so I could take it with on my horse with me,” he answered, with no anger.
“That sounds like an idea, but I like you with horses. You know what I need to do with them. I think that I am going to put you in the field with them until we go for the round up. You can choose the ones that you think I will get a fair deal with at the auctions. You are much better at that and you are teaching Silas well. Yes, I think that I will send you and Silas out into the pastures to check the herds for a week. It will be good for the both of you, don’t you agree?” I questioned him, smugly.
“If that is what you wish, then yes, it would be,” he answered, almost in a defeated manner.
“You aren’t going to fight me, are you?” I asked.
“No, Miss Rayne, I won’t as long as it is for the ranch. I will not fight you because it is your ranch. If you wish to push other matters, then I might be persuaded into a fight of some sort with you,” he answered me.
I sat there with my fork in hand. I was astonished at the brashness that he was showing me as of late. I didn’t know how to take it. I couldn’t decide if I should just be happy that he wasn’t fighting with me or if I should angry that he wasn’t fighting with me.
“Well, then I guess I should be grateful that you aren’t fighting with me,” I said.
“I am sorry that you feel that way,” he replied.
“Are you?” I asked, starting to get angry again.
“Yes, Miss Rayne, I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to upset you. I should have never touched you, but I did and I am sorry for that. I can’t ask you to forgive me,” Reece stated.
“Will you deny that you wanted it?” I inquired.
“No, I will not, but I know it is wrong,” he replied.
“Why is that? Why can you not be with me? If I want it, why can’t we?” I asked.
“I am not your promised, Miss Rayne. I cannot be the man you want. I cannot live up the man that you need. I have nothing to offer you in marriage, Miss Rayne. It would be an ill match and one that I sure the Jed would not allow,” he answered.
“Jed has nothing to do with it!” I screamed.
“Rayne, we can’t. I am sorry. You must forget me. I cannot marry you,” he replied.
“Damn you,” I yelled at him, “You give me no reason. You give me nothing in which I can work with. You cut me off before I can fight you.”
“I have to,” he replied, an edge in his voice.
“Why?” I demanded.
“You don’t understand. I don’t deserve you. I can’t be the man that you want. I can’t give you any more than what you have. I am not the one that you should seek. There are worthier men who would be more suited for you. I am sorry,” he told me.
“How dare you!” I yelled.
“I am sorry, Rayne, I truly am,” Reece stated.
“HOW DARE YOU!!!” I screamed.
“Rayne, I can’t…” he replied.
“Reece, I can’t understand what you want from me. Can you lead me with one touch and push me away with another? What do you want?” I asked.
“Rayne, you ask too much,” he stated.
“I don’t think so,” I added.
“You are asking me to do something that I know I shouldn’t. You ask too much. I can’t do it no matter how much I want to, Rayne. You are asking too much. I can’t, so please, quit asking,” he told me.
“Can you deny me?” I questioned.
“I have to. I don’t want to, but-" he started and stood up abruptly, “I can’t.”
“What is it? What can’t you tell me? What is it?” I questioned him, again.
“I am sorry,” he said bursting from the room.
I wanted to follow him. I wanted to stop him. I wanted him to want me. I couldn’t stop myself from my thought about it. They were starting to consume me.
I sat there at the table staring at my half empty plate. I pushed it away from me. I wasn’t hungry anymore for food. I wanted something that wouldn’t come to me.
I resigned my affections. I tried to push them away from my heart. It was hard for me to do it when I knew that I loved him. It was so strong in my heart and in my mind that my soul wanted me to continue to love him.
I heard his horse galloping away from the barn again. He was running from me to the pastures, as I had commanded. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I wanted to follow him, to make him see what I wanted. I knew that he wouldn’t want me to, so I turned back.
I wouldn’t follow him. I would let him go and hope that he would come back to me. It was all I could do. I couldn’t make him want me. I couldn’t make him do something that his heart was against.
I sat in the parlor, looking over the books that I owned, wishing that he was there to share in some of the joy that they brought me. It was all I could do at the moment to keep from running mad. There was so much that I wanted to say and so much I wanted him to understand. It was too much for us both.
I was tired of dealing with it all and decided that I would go to bed. It was the only rational thing that I could do at the time. I went up the stairs and to bed. I lay down and went to sleep. I was so tired.
I woke the next morning with the early morning sun. I washed up and dressed quickly into something I thought looked nice. I wanted to apologize to Reece for being angry at him. I knew it wasn’t his fault and that I had been pushing too hard.
I went to the barn to see if he had come back during the night. His horse wasn’t in the stables and neither was Honeycomb, t
he horse that Silas used. If Reece had come back in the night, it was to get Silas and go back to the pasture. I shouldn’t have been so surprised but I was devastated that he was gone.
I stumbled back to the house. Juan and Cookie came in to see me. I guess they were checking up on me. Silas or Reece must have said something to them before they left. I looked at them with sadness in my eyes. I had pushed him to it and now I had to deal with it.
“Miss Rayne, you okay?” Juan asked.
“I am good. How’s the herds?” I replied.
Cookie looked at the table and then at me. He knew that something was bothering me but knew enough better not to ask me about it. He nudged Juan and Juan looked at the table. They looked at each other and then back at me.
“The herd is good,” Juan answered,” Jed is checking on the cattle. Reece took Silas out to look after the horses. I think he said that you told him. He was going to teach Silas some horse stuff and show him how to pick out horses for the round ups and rodeos.”
“That’s good. That boy likes learning from him. He is good with him,” I replied.
“That he is,” Juan stated.
“Well, how are the herds, then?” I asked again.
“They’re good. Everything should be ready to go in time for the round up. We should be getting back to the boys to get the list together for the supplies we’ll be needing. I’ll take it into town and give it to Loren in the morning, if that is alright with you, Miss Rayne?” Juan inquired. “That’s fine. That’s fine. Bring me the list before you go, I might want to add something on it,” I stated.
“Yes, ma’am,” Juan answered.
“Juan, do what you can but find me something that I can wear while I ride. These dresses don’t work on the back of a horse. Get me some pants to wear,” I commanded, “Something that you think will work.”
“Yes, ma’am, I’ll do that,” Juan replied.
They both left to go finish their chores. I stood there and let them go. I wasn’t in the mood to do anything. I thought heavily about going back to bed and sleeping the day away. It wasn’t something that I wanted to do; it was just something to do.
