I Wish You Missed Me

by Bonnie Hearn Hill

  So earnest was his gesture that she took one of the pieces and handed Virgie the other. ‘Thanks,’ she said. The pizza was good but not outstanding. She spotted an assortment of granola and reached for it. The man continued to stand there. She glanced in his basket and saw three of the pizzas under the one he had just placed there, along with a bottle of wine and various cheeses.

  ‘As you can see, I’m celebrating.’ Although he was handsome, his appearance was secondary to the sense of wonder and fun he had managed to bring to a simple shopping trip. ‘Actually, I just graduated from medical school.’

  ‘Congratulations.’

  He looked like a med student with his aloof yet friendly manner, his dark hair just long enough to highlight his angular jaw, and his voice that, although not all that deep, was firm, almost as if he had made up his mind before he spoke.

  ‘I’m on the way to see my parents in Mendocino. Dad’s a doctor too so I never stood a chance.’

  So he was from the area. ‘Have you ever heard of a place called Lavender Fields?’ she asked.

  ‘What kind of place?’ He squinted and shook his head. ‘A restaurant?’

  ‘A camp. Kind of an off-the-grid community.’

  ‘I don’t think so.’ His eyes widened. ‘Sure I can’t sell you on the pizza?’

  ‘It’s a little early. Granola will work, though. What do you think, Virgie?’

  ‘It’ll do.’ She raised an eyebrow at Kit. ‘I’m going to look for bottled water. Be right back.’

  Virgie walked away. The man didn’t move.

  ‘Well, thanks for the tip,’ Kit said.

  ‘Glad I could help you out.’ He reached for his cart but then stopped. ‘Are you staying here or just passing through?’

  ‘Passing through,’ she said.

  His eyes were so wide and so blue that he must be wearing contacts. ‘The best coffee in the area is right next door.’

  ‘Really?’ She clutched the handle of her cart.

  ‘Why don’t you meet me there? I could use some caffeine before I deal with the graduation party preparations I’m sure my mom is making right now.’

  ‘I don’t have time.’ She needed to end this grocery-store flirtation.

  ‘Not even for coffee?’

  ‘Afraid not,’ she told him. ‘We’re getting ready to leave. Just looking for something to eat on the road. In fact, we’re already late.’

  ‘Enjoy your day then. And have a safe trip wherever you’re heading.’ He stopped and grinned back at her. ‘I’m Will, by the way.’

  ‘Kit.’

  ‘Nice to meet you.’

  She watched him walk away, a confident, successful-looking guy who would probably be fun to talk to and nothing else. Yet, as he left, the space she occupied seemed somehow less vibrant, less interesting.

  Virgie walked up empty-handed.

  ‘I thought you were going for water,’ Kit said.

  ‘Couldn’t find it.’ Then she smiled at a stack just behind Kit. ‘Oh, there it is. Don’t know how I missed it.’

  ‘Right. Let’s get out of here.’

  ‘There’s free local cider and hot chocolate up front,’ Virgie said. ‘I wouldn’t mind some of that chocolate.’

  ‘Warm cider sounds good to me. Let’s get some after we check out and sit on one of those benches out there. Maybe we’ll come up with a plan.’

  They paid for their purchases, got a cup of cider for Kit and hot chocolate for Virgie and sat on two of the glider chairs on the porch of the store. The sun felt relaxing and calm, and Kit knew that they were closer than they had ever been to finding the camp. Once they did that, they would be that much closer to Farley.

  ‘Looks like you aren’t in such a hurry, after all.’ Kit looked up into the blue eyes of the guy from the store.

  He held two paper cups of coffee and handed one to her. ‘I was hoping you’d still be here.’

  Kit took the cup and put it on the table beside her. ‘You didn’t have to do this,’ she said.

  ‘I know. I just wanted you to see what I meant about it being the best in the area.’

  ‘I’ll save it for the road,’ she said. ‘Let’s hope it wakes me up.’

  ‘Oh, it will.’ He grinned at her and headed for the steps. ‘Glad we had a chance to talk.’

  As he headed toward the parking lot, Virgie said, ‘Guess you still got it.’

  ‘Meaning?’

  ‘Meaning he ain’t bad.’

  ‘As if I don’t have enough problems?’

  ‘Right.’ Virgie reached over and took a sip of the coffee. Then she grimaced and spit it out.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Kit asked. ‘Too strong?’

  ‘I can handle strong but there’s something wrong with this.’ Virgie shuddered. ‘It’s bitter, Kit. It’s gross.’ She dumped the rest over the porch rail.

  ‘Let’s hope his taste in pizza is better than his taste in coffee,’ Kit said.

  ‘Yeah.’ Virgie looked down at the now-empty cup in her hand. ‘Now, as for his taste in women …’

  ‘Stop it!’ Kit shuffled down the stairs and headed for the car. ‘Let’s start looking for that camp.’

  THIRTY-THREE

  They could not find a doctor who would visit until the next day. Priscilla told them that she would sit by Farley’s bedside all night. Michael said he wouldn’t hear of it and Jonas insisted that both of them needed to get some rest. He was happy to sit with Farley. Megan realized that, without saying it, Priscilla, Michael and Jonas doubted Will. Part of that was her fault. She shouldn’t have told them the truth about his education, maybe even how much he changed the truth around to suit his needs. Poor Chuck would not have tried to roll anyone, and she had only Will’s word that Chuck had attacked Farley.

  As she warmed the cast-iron teapot Priscilla had given her, she cut a Meyer lemon into small wedges on the wooden board beside it.

  ‘What are you up to?’ Will appeared from behind her in the secretive way he had been doing lately.

  She drove the knife through the lemon onto the cutting board and refused to jump the way she knew he wanted her to. ‘Making tea.’

  ‘You know I hate tea.’

  ‘I’m going to take some to Jonas. Priscilla is out of ginger and they want it for Farley.’ She waited for the attack that would follow, the pinching of flesh, the yanking of her arm. Nothing happened. Will stood perfectly still behind her.

  Finally he moved closer and she could feel his warm breath on her neck. ‘You think that’s a good idea when they’re trying to keep us away from my patient?’

  They’re not trying to keep me away from him.

  She couldn’t say that, of course, but Will would know if he could see her face, so she just kept bending over the lemon as she sliced it.

  ‘We don’t have anything to say about that anymore. They’re going to find a doctor and Farley will either improve or he won’t.’

  ‘Kit Doyle’s the problem.’ He moved around in front of her and leaned against the counter. ‘Until she got here, our lives were good.’

  ‘Farley’s wasn’t,’ she said.

  His hand shot out for her arm and then stopped in mid-air. ‘It’s not his fault that Chuck attacked him. I had to control Farley’s pain and that’s all I’ve been doing.’

  ‘You’ve kept him alive.’ She realized she was speaking in a sing-song voice, the way her mother spoke when she was talking about Megan’s dad and why he was serving time in Corcoran.

  ‘If these people get any weirder we’re going to have to leave.’ He shifted against the counter and the sleeve of his sweater slid up from his wrist. On it rested a curved watch with a rose-gold band.

  Megan almost dropped the teapot.

  ‘You don’t like my watch?’ He reached out and pulled her to him.

  ‘I just didn’t realize you had one. I mean, no one wears them but it’s very pretty.’

  ‘And you’ve never seen it before?’

  ‘Never,’ she told him, and h
oped nothing in her expression reflected the fear she felt. ‘Can I make anything for you before I take this down to Jonas? Coffee?’

  ‘Thanks for thinking of that, Megs.’ He patted her on the ass. ‘I picked up some cider at the store today but I forgot and left it in the truck. Would you mind getting it for me?’

  ‘Sure.’ There was something wrong with his smile, something wrong with his everything. Megan stopped at the front door, reached down and pretended to tie a shoelace, and then parted the burgundy curtains in the front window. ‘I’ll be right back.’

  She stepped outside, crouched and looked back inside.

  Will moved deliberately toward the teapot, reached into his pocket and lifted out a handful of capsules. He lifted the lid of the pot and crushed them into it. Then he replaced the lid, leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms with a smile that carried more satisfaction than she had ever seen from him, not even in bed.

  These were the same capsules he’d been giving Farley – pain meds, he said. Now he wanted to give them to Jonas – and to her – without their knowledge. She made her way down to where the truck was hidden. No sign of cider anywhere. Playing for time. That’s what her mom would have called what Will was doing by asking her to go down there. Megan wasn’t sure what she’d call it. She knew only that she was scared for her life and that she needed to get to Jonas as soon as she could, before Will did anything else.

  When she walked back to the cabin the curtains were still open. She exhaled but couldn’t get rid of the tightness in her chest. Will planned to drug her. Or worse. At least he didn’t know she had watched him put the pills in the tea. With a smile on her face, she stepped inside.

  ‘I couldn’t find the cider, Will. I hope no one took it.’

  ‘Might have left it on the counter.’ He stretched his arms over his head. ‘I’m going to take the truck back to the store and get it.’

  ‘Kind of late for that,’ she replied, trying to look at him the way she did when she was concerned.

  He grinned as if she had passed the test. ‘Thanks for caring, Megs. I’ll be fine. See you in a couple of hours.’ He nudged her with an elbow. ‘Depending on how long you stay with Jonas, of course.’

  ‘About ten minutes, more or less.’ She walked up to the pot on the stove. ‘Be careful in town.’

  Megan brushed her hair in the broken mirror. She cried and then washed her face, forcing herself to accept what she had just witnessed. Will didn’t love her. He never had. That should make the rest of this easier.

  She walked to Priscilla’s and Michael’s cabin and knocked softly at the door.

  Priscilla opened it and hugged her.

  ‘You OK?’ she asked.

  ‘Not really. I need to speak to Jonas.’

  ‘He’s with Farley.’

  ‘Would you mind watching Farley and letting Jonas come out and talk to me for a moment?’

  ‘Is it about Will?’ Priscilla asked.

  Megan nodded and tears filled her eyes. ‘I’ll wait out here.’

  The creek outside the cabin moved softly past. A piercing screech filled the air and she remembered what Will had said about the owl they had encountered earlier. Her skin crawled.

  Then she heard the crunching of feet on the path and she turned to see Jonas, his face weary. She ran to him.

  He wrapped his arms around her and she knew he didn’t want to let go any more than she did.

  ‘What’s he done this time?’ he asked.

  That made her cry. With his arms still around her, she looked into his eyes. ‘He asked me to get something out of the truck. Instead, I looked in the window. Jonas, he was putting pills in the ginger tea I was making for you.’

  ‘Do you think he knows?’ He stroked a finger under her chin. ‘About this?’

  ‘But there is no this, Jonas. We’ve been so decent. You have.’

  ‘So have you.’ He smiled at her. ‘You’re a good woman, maybe the best I’ve ever known.’

  ‘I’m not. I’ve done things that are pretty bad and I’ll tell you once I work up the courage. There is something I have to tell you now, though, and it’s not easy.’ She looked away from him, into the trees. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t say this sooner.’

  ‘Now is just fine.’

  In spite of his soothing voice, she could barely bring herself to speak.

  ‘I’m afraid Will has been drugging Farley, maybe even trying to kill him.’

  ‘And what makes you think that?’

  She walked away from him, nearer the trees and their soft, still scent.

  ‘Look at me, Megan.’

  ‘I can’t.’

  ‘All right then.’ He moved close behind her but didn’t touch her. ‘Why do you think Will’s trying to harm Farley?’

  ‘Because Farley saw something that Friday night,’ she said. ‘When I went back outside the pub that night, Farley and Will were fighting and that didn’t make any sense to me. Will hit him with a wrench he took out of the saddlebags on his bike.’

  ‘So that’s what happened. It wasn’t the guy whose body they found? He wasn’t the one attacking Farley?’

  ‘Chuck wouldn’t have harmed anyone.’ The sharp scent of the redwoods burned her nose like smoke. ‘He was trying to protect me from Will.’

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ He squeezed her shoulders from behind and she turned around to face him. ‘Were you afraid of Will?’

  ‘Yes, but not just that.’ She reached up and lifted his hands from her shoulders. ‘I didn’t want anyone to know how I met Chuck. Especially, I didn’t want you to know that Will had set us up.’

  He squinted as if trying to understand. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Through a guy we knew from the vineyard. I think you know.’

  She expected disappointment in his expression. Maybe even disgust. But Jonas only shook his head and took both of her hands in his.

  ‘I’m sorry you had to go through that.’

  ‘I’m so embarrassed.’ She could barely swallow through her tight throat. ‘I wouldn’t do it now but he controls everything I do. I hate having to tell you this.’

  ‘I haven’t been perfect either, you know.’

  Megan felt the warmth in his fingers and hung on. She had taken a chance with the truth and he still cared about her. Even better, he was sharing his own truth.

  ‘You mean how you lost your job?’

  ‘I loved the girl,’ he said. ‘But she was underage, not to mention my student.’

  ‘Will told me.’

  ‘I lost everything. That’s when I decided to drop out. I knew Priscilla and Michael because I had taught music to Priscilla. She and Farley were two years apart in school.’

  ‘What happened to the girl?’ She realized she was whispering. ‘The one you loved.’

  ‘She couldn’t stay with me after what happened. Too much guilt.’ He lifted her chin. ‘And, since we’re being honest here, she wasn’t the first one.’

  ‘Chuck wasn’t the first one either.’ The truth popped out, just like that.

  ‘Did you love him?’ The question sounded tender, innocent.

  ‘I knew him less than an hour but he treated me like a lady,’ she said. ‘There were two others, a guy named Rudy and another one. Chuck was supposed to be the last.’

  ‘Only three, and then no more?’

  ‘That’s what Will said but it was probably another lie. He said we needed the money but it wasn’t that. He was just trying to control me, and he did.’

  He nodded and squeezed her hand tighter. ‘More than two for me, but I talked myself into thinking I cared for them, that somehow I could be their great protector.’

  His honesty calmed Megan. It also stabbed her heart.

  ‘Is that how you feel about me?’ She knew he wouldn’t lie and forced herself to take a breath.

  ‘It was at first.’

  ‘And now?’ She picked at her skirt, unable to look at him.

  ‘Don’t you know?’
/>   ‘I know my hopes,’ she said. ‘I’m really afraid, though, not just for us, but for Farley.’

  ‘I’ll stay with him tonight. Tomorrow we go to town and get help.’

  ‘What about Kit Doyle?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m not sure. If she exposes the camp they’ll all have to move, and they aren’t hurting anyone here. It might be hard on the kids. But Kit knows it exists. I promised I’d bring her here tomorrow.’

  ‘Do you think that’s a good idea?’

  ‘Once we get a doctor here she might as well come too. She deserves to see her friend.’

  He was such a good man that she had to fight to keep the tears from coming. She hadn’t known men could be like that. ‘There’s one more thing I haven’t told you.’ She made herself look into his eyes this time.

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘When I saw Farley on the ground that night, I told Will we had to bring him back here or I would report what happened. Will wanted to get out of there before any more people came outside the bar. He handed me Farley’s cell phone and told me to get rid of it.’

  ‘Then of course he planned on killing Farley, but why?’

  ‘Because Farley witnessed whatever happened to Chuck. That’s all I can figure.’

  ‘You have to tell Priscilla and Michael,’ Jonas said. ‘They deserve to know.’

  ‘Even though Will saved Callie?’

  ‘Even though. If he did. The man’s a liar and a latent sociopath. I wouldn’t trust anything he says.’

  Although she wasn’t sure what all of that was, she already agreed with it and she knew she had to say the rest. ‘I didn’t get rid of the phone.’

  ‘You didn’t?’ He grabbed her arm.

  ‘I couldn’t. Instead I hid it at the fruit stand and planned to come back for it. Before I could, Kit Doyle found it. She let me know and told me there was a selfie Farley took at the pub that Friday with me in the background.’

  ‘Kit Doyle again.’ Although he didn’t move, he seemed to pull away from her. ‘Then we are definitely going to bring her here tomorrow. For now, let’s just stick close to Farley. I don’t want you going back to Will. He’s too dangerous.’

  ‘I’m afraid to leave,’ she said. ‘He’ll kill me if I try to.’