I Wish You Missed Me

by Bonnie Hearn Hill

  ‘Now that we know what a liar he is we’ll never know what really happened.’

  Megan felt her eyes fill with tears. ‘Please let me stay here with you.’

  ‘Of course.’ Priscilla hugged her again. ‘We decided that a few days ago.’

  Jonas gave her a short nod and returned to Farley’s room. ‘I’ll contact Kit Doyle,’ he said. ‘She’ll figure a way to get help out here. And we’re going to need help for Farley now that he’s coming around.’

  Megan and Priscilla sat on the window seat in front of the side window.

  ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you sooner,’ Megan told her. ‘Will knew you had money stashed and he wanted to steal from all of you. I never would have gone along with that.’

  ‘We trust you.’ Priscilla squeezed her arm. ‘Let’s just sit here until he comes back. It won’t be long.’

  ‘He has clothes here,’ Megan said.

  ‘No longer. They’re in the barn in bags, totally intact. We haven’t harmed any of his possessions.’

  ‘He won’t care.’ Megan felt tears squeeze out of her eyes. ‘You were kind to us.’

  ‘It’s all right.’

  They sat there on the cushions lining the window seat and Megan felt herself calm down.

  ‘You and Jonas.’ Priscilla nodded and met her eyes. ‘That just might work.’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘You’re in love with him, aren’t you?’

  She felt herself flush. ‘I just don’t know how we’re going to figure it all out.’

  ‘You will.’ Priscilla said. ‘You know why? Because Jonas is in love with you too.’

  ‘I hope you’re right.’

  ‘I know I am.’ She rubbed her large belly. ‘Now, let’s try to figure out if our home is still safe or if we need to move.’

  ‘I hope we don’t,’ Megan said. ‘But if we have to, I’ll do everything I can to help. I feel as if I’ve brought all of this on.’

  ‘You didn’t know what you were involved with. People like Will have no conscience. They can’t keep their own lies and their own desires straight. I’m glad he brought you to us, though.’ She squeezed Megan’s hand. ‘And to Jonas.’

  Megan knew she was blushing but finally she no longer had to hide her emotions.

  ‘I know he’s ready to leave everything behind but his music,’ she said. ‘Would you allow him to join us full time?’

  ‘We have discussed that in the past and, although we had some reservations, yes. I will need to speak to Michael and to the other families but I think this might be a good time for that.’

  They sat there as the sun warmed them. Finally Megan said, ‘Why did you have reservations about Jonas before?’

  ‘Nothing to do with you.’

  ‘What then?’

  ‘This life isn’t right for everyone. We love Jonas. He’s wonderful to our children and to us, for that matter.’ She stood. ‘And you know what? If we’re ready to accept him now, I think that’s the only explanation anyone needs. The rest is between you two.’

  Megan rose as well, thinking how easy this was. No hiding. No pretending. ‘He’s shared with me,’ she said. ‘As I have with him.’

  The sound of car brakes interrupted them. Megan ran to the window in front of the cabin and Priscilla followed. Dust billowed up around a dark green van. Will got out from behind the wheel. On the passenger’s side a woman sat with her back to them.

  ‘This is what I’ve been waiting for,’ Priscilla said. ‘We need to get him out of here right now. Finish it.’

  Megan squinted though the sunlight coming through the window. ‘Who’s the woman?’

  ‘No idea.’ Priscilla cupped her hand over her stomach. ‘Michael, Jonas. You might want to join us out here.’

  They walked outside the cabin as Will marched up the path. He wore preppy-looking off-white pants and a matching polo shirt under a reversible quilted navy vest which, in spite of the weather, he hadn’t zipped. No longer did Will resemble anyone at this camp. He looked like the doctor he now probably believed he was.

  ‘You don’t need to come, Megan,’ Priscilla said.

  ‘I want to.’ She eyed the woman in the van, who was turned so far around, the collar of her white coat pulled up so high that they couldn’t see her.

  Megan had been that woman once. She had been that submissive, that afraid.

  ‘I came for my things.’ Will dipped his head as if greeting strangers.

  ‘What about Farley?’ Priscilla asked.

  ‘That’s your problem.’ The wind blew his dark hair straight up, baring his high, narrow forehead. ‘Quite frankly, it was never my idea to bring him back here in the first place. The minute he recovers – and he will now – he’ll tell Kit Doyle and his cop friend where you are, and your shabby little paradise will be invaded by law enforcement, media, you name it.’

  ‘If that happens we will deal with it,’ Priscilla said, ‘but not the way you dealt with Farley.’

  ‘Hey, I got coerced into that one.’ He pointed at Megan and grinned at Jonas. ‘And for the record, buddy, don’t be too quick to think you have a prize there. There’s a lot about her that you don’t know.’

  His words stung and Megan knew he was enjoying watching the burn spread to her face. ‘Oh, he knows, Will.’ She walked up to him, past Jonas, who tried to hold her back. ‘Everyone knows everything.’

  ‘Including your plan to steal our funds,’ Priscilla said and moved beside Megan in front of the men who stood before the door of the cabin like a barrier between Will and Farley. ‘That’s sad because if you had needed something we would have done our best to provide it.’

  ‘Typical of you to take the word of this tramp.’ He motioned Priscilla aside. ‘I’m going in to get my stuff, including some valuables you better not have touched.’

  His windblown hair emphasized his piercing eyes, and even though his manner was pleasant, Megan felt cold all over.

  ‘I know what you came for.’ She stared at his empty wrist.

  That’s what he wanted. The watch that had belonged to Chuck – the proof that he had probably killed him.

  ‘Let’s keep this friendly, all right?’ He reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a pistol.

  Megan drew in a sharp breath.

  Priscilla didn’t move. ‘There’s no need for that,’ she said.

  ‘My point exactly.’ He put the gun back in his pocket and smiled at all of them as if nothing unusual had just taken place. ‘All cooperative now? That’s how it ought to be, right? Now, I’m going inside. I’ll be out in a moment.’

  ‘There’s no reason for you to.’ Priscilla stood perfectly straight as the icy breeze brushed strands of her pale hair across her forehead.

  Megan inched back and took a step toward the van.

  ‘I promise you I won’t kill the patient,’ Will said. ‘I did nothing to harm him anyway, only heavy painkillers. He should be himself in no time. Maybe in the future he’ll think twice before he interrupts two men having a private conversation in a parking lot.’

  ‘That was no conversation,’ Megan said. ‘You murdered Chuck and would have killed Farley if I hadn’t come outside when I did.’

  ‘In that case, it’s pretty generous of me to let both you and Farley live, isn’t it?’ He turned from her to Priscilla. ‘You said there’s no reason for me to go inside. I showed you a gun. How do you suggest we proceed?’

  ‘To the barn,’ Priscilla said, her voice calm. ‘You can check everything there. We’ll wait here until you’re ready to leave.’

  ‘Excellent.’ He took a step toward the path that led back to the barn, then stopped. ‘Wait a minute. Why did you put my things out there?’

  ‘Why do you think?’ Priscilla asked.

  ‘Because of her? Because she’s told you so many lies about me that you actually think you can tell me to leave?’ He patted his vest pocket. ‘Lucky for you I’m already bailing because, believe me, lady, if I wanted to stay,
I would.’

  ‘I’m sorry it turned out this way,’ Priscilla told him. ‘I appreciate your saving Callie’s life. Doctor or not, you’re the reason she’s here and I’ll always be grateful to you for that.’

  ‘You know Megan’s crazy, right?’ He laughed. ‘Of course you do, and that’s why you’ve taken her in with the rest of the losers. You think you can heal her, and I truly hope you can. Still, you shouldn’t have shoved my possessions in your barn like garbage.’

  ‘We didn’t feel comfortable going through them.’ Priscilla let out a breath she seemed to have been holding for some time. ‘As I said, we’ll wait here until you’re sure everything is in order.’

  ‘It had better be in order.’

  Will walked toward the barn and Michael and Jonas looked at each other.

  ‘Jonas, you get back to Farley,’ Michael said. ‘Are you OK, Megan?’

  ‘I’m fine.’ But she wasn’t. She had something else to do, her last chance to make any of this right. ‘You go in,’ she told Priscilla as Jonas closed the door behind Michael and him.

  ‘Oh, no. I’m waiting right here until Will comes back from the barn.’

  ‘Then please understand what I’m doing right now,’ Megan said and started toward the van.

  ‘That’s not a good idea.’

  ‘It’s the best idea I’ve had in a long time.’ She glanced back at Priscilla and Michael. ‘I have to.’ And then, because she didn’t want to hear any other objections, she ran to the van and spoke against the window. The woman didn’t turn around. Only the white collar of her jacket showed. ‘I know you can hear me,’ Megan said.

  The woman seemed to pull even farther away, toward the steering wheel and the driver’s seat of the van.

  ‘I know Will has told you I’m some kind of tramp or crazy lady or both. I was like you once and no one told me that this man makes up lies as easily as he breathes.’ She spoke slowly, clearly, the way she wished someone had spoken to her. ‘He makes you feel like dirt and he picks you carefully enough to know that you’re wounded enough to believe whatever he says and accept whatever he does.’

  The woman jerked around. ‘Get out of here.’

  She might have been pretty but Megan wasn’t sure because her features barely registered. All that did was the anger that barely hid her fear the way the collar barely hid her long blonde hair.

  ‘He killed a man,’ Megan said. ‘He’s not a doctor. He flunked out of college in Berkeley and he has no parents in Mendocino. There’s a man inside he would’ve killed if he could have. Will’s been drugging him, keeping him barely alive, and he tried to drug me too. What else do you need to hear?’

  ‘You’re lying.’ The blonde turned her back again.

  ‘Check out Farley Black from Sacramento,’ Megan said.

  The woman faced her again, her shocked expression like a mask in the window of the van. ‘Farley?’ she mouthed.

  ‘He’s inside.’ Megan pointed at the cabin. ‘He’s going to be all right now, but you won’t be if you don’t get away from Will as fast as you can.’

  THIRTY-NINE

  Kit and John Paul considered going back to the farmhouse, but when Kit called Virgie she said she was fine. ‘Except for the law crawling all over the place,’ she added in a dry voice that pleased Kit because it sounded much more like her than the weak one had earlier.

  ‘Good,’ Kit said. ‘Stay safe. We got a good lead and will be back soon.’

  Once they ended the call, John Paul asked, ‘Back to Mickey’s?’

  ‘Absolutely.’

  ‘What do you think we’ll get out of him?’ he asked.

  ‘We’ve got to find Will. He’s behind this.’ She glanced over at him. ‘What do you think we’ll get out of him?’

  ‘He’s pretty tight-lipped. This is his business, after all.’

  ‘Is he a decent guy?’

  ‘Seems to be. Let’s go find out.’

  Kit and John Paul drove to the bar. Mickey was sweeping the front path, his long hair hidden under a cap.

  He looked up as they pulled in and squinted, as if trying to decide whether or not to head inside. Instead, he walked over to the truck.

  ‘Hey, man,’ he said. ‘You’re a little early.’

  ‘Need to ask you some questions.’ John Paul opened his door and Kit did the same.

  ‘I remember you.’ Mickey flashed Kit a nicotine smile and glanced at her hand. ‘I told you that stamp would fade in a few days.’

  She and John Paul had headed around from opposite sides of the truck and they now faced him, side to side.

  ‘You didn’t tell me about Will, though,’ she said.

  ‘Will?’ He choked out the word.

  ‘Will as in Will and Megan,’ she said. ‘Megan as in Megan and Rudy and then Megan and Chuck.’

  He heaved out a sigh. ‘You might as well come inside,’ he told them. ‘I need a drink.’

  ‘Last time I was here you didn’t drink at all,’ Kit said.

  ‘That’s the best way when you own a pub.’ He leaned his broom against the side of the building and motioned to the back. ‘Come on. I really don’t want anybody to see me talking to you out here.’

  ‘Why not?’ Kit asked.

  ‘It’s just better. Enough people are gossiping about what happened already.’ He managed a nervous laugh. ‘Besides, I don’t want to end up like Chuck.’

  ‘No one wishes you any harm.’ John Paul stood where he was and Kit didn’t move either.

  ‘I could end up there.’ He glanced back at the moss-covered creek. ‘Come on. I’ll buy you a round.’

  ‘Only if you tell us why you think your life’s in danger,’ John Paul said.

  ‘That’s a no-brainer.’ The door stood open and they walked inside. The bar at midday was chilly and quiet in a disturbing way. The three of them sat in one of the three booths in the back. It still smelled faintly of whatever disinfectant Mickey had cleaned it with.

  ‘What are you worried about?’ John Paul asked him.

  ‘Someone got killed after leaving my bar.’ He shook his head. ‘I still can’t believe it. Can I get you some drinks?’

  ‘No,’ Kit said, ‘but what you can do is tell us about Will.’

  ‘I don’t know anything about him.’ He took off the cap and the skinny braids fell over his shoulder, making him appear vulnerable, almost frail. ‘And you may not want a drink, but I’m having one.’

  He went to the cooler and came back with a beer.

  ‘When was the last time you saw Will?’ Kit asked.

  ‘I don’t remember.’

  ‘After they found Chuck’s body out there?’

  ‘I’m not sure. Maybe.’ He stared down at his untouched beer. ‘Actually, he’s been in a couple of times.’

  John Paul leaned across the table as if this were a friendly chat. ‘Was he with anyone?’

  ‘Yeah, he was. A woman who has been in here earlier. Just don’t say you heard any of this from me.’

  Kit felt a chill from her skull to the back of her neck.

  ‘Tell me about the woman.’

  ‘Not much to tell.’ This time he took a long swallow of the beer. ‘Good looking. She was trying to find anyone who had seen Farley. Was in here the night they found Chuck, same as you. Really upset.’

  Kit and John Paul looked at each other and Kit reached for her purse.

  ‘Would you recognize this woman if I showed you a photo of her?’

  ‘Maybe. Maybe not.’ Mickey pressed his hands on the table as if ready to get up. ‘Most of all, I don’t want any trouble around this place. We’ve had enough.’

  ‘Just let me show you.’ Kit pulled out her phone and found a photo of Monique online. ‘Does this look like the woman who asked you about Farley?’

  ‘What happens if I tell you?’

  ‘Nothing,’ John Paul said. ‘Only that we stick a little closer to you from now on.’

  He set his bottle of beer on the table with a thud. ‘That�
��s the woman.’

  ‘We have reason to believe that this man Will is extremely dangerous,’ John Paul told him. ‘If he comes in here again, contact the police at once.’ He pulled a card out of his pocket. ‘I’d also appreciate it if you would contact me.’

  ‘You think Will killed Chuck?’ He reached for the bottle again.

  ‘All I can tell you for sure is that he’s committed crimes and he is dangerous.’

  ‘And the blonde?’ he asked.

  ‘As I said, if you see her, contact us.’ John Paul slid out of the booth.

  At the truck, he called his friend at the Willits Police Department and sent a photo of both Will and Monique.

  ‘Another reason why we need to learn how to live with technology,’ he told Kit. ‘Dropping out isn’t the answer.’

  ‘Not for you and obviously not for law enforcement, but Jonas shared with me what the final straw was with Priscilla and her husband. She and her daughter were trapped in their car and would have been killed if not for a Good Samaritan. Everyone else who stopped was too busy taking photos with their phones to help.’

  ‘No different than the people who would have just driven on by in the past,’ he said.

  ‘I think it might be different. People’s senses are dulled in a way.’

  ‘Yet it was the technology of television that brought the realities of the Vietnam War to American families.’ He opened the door of the truck for her. ‘For the first time, they saw what war really looked like, and that did anything but dull their senses.’

  ‘You make a good point but somehow something happened along the way. I’m not saying I could live like Priscilla, Megan and the others but I can understand why the idea would be tempting.’

  He took her hand and helped her into the seat. Still holding onto her, he said, ‘Earlier, you told me that even when we argue, I make you think. That works both ways, Kit. Not that I agree with you or anything.’ He let go of her hand and closed the door, yet she still felt the warmth of his touch.

  For a moment, they looked at each other through the open window of the truck. He moved closer. She pulled back. He nodded. She managed to find her voice.

  ‘Are you still going to buy me flowers?’ she asked.