I Wish You Missed Me

by Bonnie Hearn Hill

  ‘Absolutely.’ He paused for a moment and then headed for the driver’s side. ‘Lavender – a whole bunch of them.’

  Once he started the truck, she told him, ‘We need to find the camp, and before Jonas gives us permission to.’

  He glanced over at the pub. ‘I’d bet that Mickey doesn’t know where it is.’

  ‘But Nickel does. He makes the straps for their guitars and he and Jonas are friends.’

  ‘Nickel’s a vault when it comes to sharing information, not to mention a drunk. He won’t tell us anything.’

  ‘He’s also a good person,’ she said. ‘He might tell me.’

  ‘With Will out here somewhere, you and Virgie can’t be going off on your own anymore.’

  ‘I’m not suggesting that,’ she said. ‘I’m suggesting that I go in and talk to Nickel while you wait outside. Nothing will happen to me in there and I might be able to convince him.’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘It’s the only way to find the camp and find it fast.’

  ‘Let’s give it a shot,’ he said.

  ‘First, though, I’ve got to warn Monique about Will.’

  He pressed his foot on the brake. ‘Do you think that’s a good idea? The woman followed you, Kit.’

  ‘Only because she was trying to find Farley.’

  ‘Who obviously didn’t want her to find him.’

  ‘I get that.’ She paused, trying to figure out how to make him understand. ‘John Paul, she’s a stalker, she’s insecure, but I can’t believe she’s a killer. Will is, and she connected with him only because she’ll do anything to find Farley. Believe me, Will is a charmer. Hypnotic, almost.’

  ‘Speaking from personal experience, are you?’ He studied her face and she shifted in her seat.

  ‘Yes.’

  He nodded slowly. ‘Still, if you warn her, you warn him.’

  ‘Not necessarily.’

  ‘You could also put her in greater danger.’

  ‘She’s already in danger.’

  ‘It’s still a gamble.’

  ‘Better than doing nothing.’ She picked up her phone and called Monique’s number. Voicemail answered, as she was certain it would. After the beep, she said, ‘Monique, it’s Kit. This guy you’re with is dangerous. You’ve got to get away from him. I’m with John Paul and we can help you. Most of all, get away from Will. He may seem charming at first but he’s not any of the things he says he is and he has probably killed at least one man – the one we saw being pulled out of the creek.’

  She ended the call and hoped that Monique would believe her. ‘I hope I did the right thing,’ she told John Paul.

  ‘Me too.’ He turned onto the main road. ‘Now, let’s go find Nickel.’

  FORTY

  As they drove to Nickel’s campground, the redwood forest grew closer, yet its thin roads felt easier because of the thick fragrance of the trees after the rain.

  ‘We’ll find him,’ she told John Paul. ‘I feel it.’

  ‘I hope so.’ He stared straight ahead at the road. ‘I know how much you care for him.’

  There it came again, and Kit hated it. ‘No, you don’t.’ She scooted around on the seat so that he would have to look at her. ‘I doubt that even he knows how much I care for him. Or what that means.’

  He raised an eyebrow. ‘Like men are too stupid to get it?’

  ‘It has nothing to do with stupid and a whole lot to do with not getting it. I love Farley and he is my friend. That’s all, and that’s everything.’

  ‘You sure fell apart when you thought that was his body,’ John Paul said.

  ‘He’s my friend,’ she repeated. ‘Of course I fell apart.’

  ‘Sometimes feelings change. Ours did.’

  Kit felt a flush she couldn’t hide. ‘I should hope so. We didn’t even like each other.’

  ‘Didn’t trust each other,’ he corrected her. ‘That was before I knew how brave you are and what a good person.’

  ‘And before I knew you weren’t a jerk.’

  They both laughed. Then he grew serious. ‘I just want you to know that I’ll do anything I can to help you find him, even if you discover you have feelings for him you didn’t know you had.’

  ‘Didn’t hear a word I said, did you?’

  ‘Just trying to make you understand.’ He sighed.

  They didn’t discuss it further and Kit realized that, like many, John Paul didn’t understand that a woman truly could care about a man as a friend. Once this was over, she would try to explain to him once more that she had been attracted to Farley briefly but that they both quickly moved past that into a caring friendship. Yes, she would try to have that conversation with John Paul again. But only once Farley was safe.

  Within the hour, they pulled into Nickel’s campground. Everything looked the same. Somehow the weathered campers, trailers and cabins seemed more appropriate to the rustic setting than new ones would have been.

  ‘Are you OK with staying out here?’ Kit asked John Paul.

  ‘No.’ He pushed back the seat and stretched his legs. ‘But I know the guy won’t tell me anything. If you’re not back here in ten minutes, I’m going in.’

  ‘Fifteen,’ she said. ‘Nickel doesn’t have a weapon. I’m sure of that.’

  ‘Ordinary things can become weapons if someone is panicked or angry enough.’

  ‘Good point.’ She squeezed his hand. ‘I’ll be careful.’

  She got out of the truck and walked up to Nickel’s cabin. As usual, the door stood partially open. Kit pushed it the rest of the way and stepped into an empty room.

  Now what?

  She looked around at the fanatically neat desk and the pristine sink, and then she saw an opened bottle of Gallo Hearty Burgundy on the counter. Good. Nickel was here. He just might be passed out. Afraid to go down the narrow hall to his bedroom, she moved farther into the room. The front door closed behind her and she realized it had been held open by a large rabbit carved from stone. She started to go back to open the door but heard a noise from the back patio and ran to the door.

  Nickel sat out there, holding a glass of red wine and mumbling to himself. She glanced around, saw no one and stepped outside.

  ‘Hey, Nickel. How are you?’

  ‘Well,’ he said. ‘Isn’t this déjà vu all over again?’ He laughed at his own joke.

  ‘I need your help.’ She sat on the foot rest in front of his lawn chair.

  ‘I can’t help you.’

  ‘You need to show me where the camp is.’ His eyes widened and she could almost see the wall he was building between the two of them. ‘No, listen to me, will you? I’m going to find it sooner or later, but I need to find it now. Jonas already said he’d try to get me in but I can’t wait because of Will. He killed Chuck, that guy who drowned in the creek outside the pub. He drugged Virgie and he tried to drug me.’

  Nickel looked up at her with watery eyes. ‘And they wouldn’t let me in,’ he said in a precise southern accent. ‘Because I drink.’

  ‘Their rules are their rules, but I’ve got to find that camp because I know Farley’s there. I’ve got to get him out.’

  ‘Maybe he’s too sick to get out.’ He leaned back in the chair and folded his hands over his stomach. ‘Will’s his doctor. At least, he’s supposed to be.’

  ‘Will’s a killer.’ She jumped up from the stool. ‘Call them. They’ll tell you.’

  ‘I can’t,’ he said. ‘No phones.’

  ‘Then trust me. Show me where they are. We might be able to save Farley’s life.’

  ‘You think they’d let me in if I did that?’ He sneaked a glance at the glass of wine on the table beside him.

  ‘That’s not the point,’ she told him. ‘Please, Nickel. I know you want to do the right thing.’

  ‘I don’t have a vehicle.’ He looked over at the glass again. ‘I’m not supposed to have a phone.’

  ‘But you do, and so does Jonas,’ she said. ‘You let him know that Virgie and I w
ere heading there after we arrived here.’

  ‘It’s not breaking rules to do that. Jonas is a tutor and I’m a friend. We’re not official members, but we do try to limit our use of and dependence on technology.’

  ‘Let Jonas know we’re heading there,’ she said. ‘I’ll go in first, but also tell him that John Paul will back us.’

  He squinted at her and she wondered if he were already too drunk to direct her. ‘So Will’s really dangerous?’

  ‘I already told you that.’ She forced herself to slow down and focus. ‘Let Jonas know we’re on our way. Let him know right now.’

  ‘Hang on just a minute.’ Nickel navigated toward his garden and lifted an upside-down flower pot. He put a phone to his ear and said, ‘It’s time, man. I’m bringing her there.’

  Kit exhaled and bit her lip to keep from crying.

  ‘Ready?’ she asked.

  Nickel nodded. ‘Ready.’

  They walked out the door together.

  John Paul waited just outside Nickel’s cabin.

  ‘Oh, no. Not him.’ Nickel started back inside. ‘I said I’d take you inside. I didn’t say I’d take the law.’

  ‘He’s not the law,’ Kit told him. ‘Not anymore. He cohosts a radio show in Sacramento. He’s OK, Nickel. I promise.’

  ‘Not taking him,’ he said.

  ‘Do you want Farley to die?’ she asked.

  ‘Of course not.’

  ‘Then tell us how to find him. Where are these people?’

  ‘So close we could walk there.’ Nickel ruffled his hair with his fingers and looked at John Paul again, just as Kit’s phone chimed.

  She looked down at it and could barely breathe.

  ‘Monique,’ she said. Then she answered it and put the call on speaker phone.

  ‘You were right,’ Monique whispered in a voice Kit barely realized. ‘He’s doing crazy stuff, talking about going back there and killing all of them.’

  ‘Where are you?’ Kit asked.

  ‘At the cabin where he and Megan lived. I’m hiding outside.’

  ‘Stay where you are. We’ll get there as fast as we can.’

  ‘Hurry.’ Monique sobbed into the phone and ended the call.

  ‘I’m heading to the cabin,’ John Paul said. ‘You be careful.’

  ‘You too.’

  ‘Once I get her out of there I’ll come back for you two.’

  ‘Please give him directions.’ Kit nudged Nickel.

  ‘It’s a bit tricky.’

  Pointing, Nickel began explaining in a detailed manner, as if suddenly sober, and Kit made her way into the woods. As she suspected, the camp wasn’t that far away. None of these people had automobiles. Nickel stumbled behind her, shouting directions. They must have walked for most of an hour. Every tree, every bird call, every breath of forest breeze looked, sounded and felt like the last one.

  Kit’s jacket grew too heavy. She yanked it off and tied it around her waist.

  Finally Nickel led her past a grove of redwoods, into the core of them. Together, they moved closer as the tiny shelters between the trees became cabins. Laughter beyond the trees led her gaze to the children sitting on logs, their hair flowing as they played musical instruments and sang into the breeze. They were performing some kind of play. A taller girl with long blonde hair spotted Kit and Nickel, stood and moved toward the house. She looked enough like Priscilla, the pregnant woman from the fruit stand, to be her daughter and probably was. She was also probably going to warn Priscilla that visitors were approaching.

  This was the camp and Farley had to be here. Beyond the children, partially hidden by a tree, Kit spotted a flash of silver – a silk car cover hiding a vehicle.

  ‘Farley’s car!’ She pointed and Nickel nodded. ‘Where is he?’

  ‘Inside. You wait here.’

  She ran ahead of him to the front door. If Farley were in here, if he were alive, she wasn’t about to wait.

  Priscilla opened the door. Megan stood behind her, eyes wide.

  ‘Let me in,’ Kit said. ‘Please.’

  They looked at each other and then stepped outside. ‘We’ll let you in shortly.’ Priscilla motioned to Nickel.

  ‘I just want to see Farley. That’s all.’

  Priscilla stepped back and studied Kit in a way that made her feel that the woman was trying to see inside her. ‘And you promise that you won’t bring attention, media or otherwise, to our home?’

  ‘You know I can’t promise that, but if I can help you, I will.’

  She put out her hand. ‘Then, welcome.’

  Nickel caught up and Priscilla closed the door behind them.

  The cabin was similar to Jonas’s but larger. Simple and warm, it was filled with handmade pillows, stacks of books and the deep, sweet smell of jam. Now Kit knew where the fruit-stand jars came from. A row of empty ones lined the kitchen sink next to a wood stove and a stand holding what looked like antique brass fireplace tools.

  Jonas came out from a narrow hall in khakis and a plaid shirt open at the throat. His face lit up when he saw her, and he flashed her the first genuine smile she had seen from him.

  ‘Welcome, Kit.’ He hugged her tightly. ‘He’s doing better, much better. We’re getting a real doctor out here today and then he’ll have the care he needs.’

  ‘What happened to him?’

  ‘From what was said and what we can observe, heavy painkillers. We thought Will was one of us.’ He took her hand and led her down the hall. The others waited in the main room. ‘I’m sorry about not being forthcoming before,’ he told her. ‘I was wrong.’

  ‘You were scared. You didn’t know me.’

  ‘I’ll wait outside.’ He motioned to the open door and Kit rushed inside.

  There, on a blanket-covered pallet, Farley lay. His hair, darker blond than the last time she had seen it, was swept back from his pale face. His rhythmic breathing sounded more like a person asleep.

  She dropped to one of the pillows on the floor and touched his face.

  ‘Farley,’ she whispered. ‘It’s Kit.’

  His lids drifted opened and he seemed to stare into space. ‘Hey, Kit.’ Then his eyes shut again. She looked at the door, where Jonas stood, tears in his eyes.

  ‘I’ll be in the main room when you’re ready,’ he said, and turned away.

  FORTY-ONE

  Farley was alive. He was going to stay alive. Kit wanted to hug him but she didn’t dare. Instead, she needed to find out what Jonas knew. She leaned down, kissed Farley’s forehead and said, ‘I love you and I’ll be back soon. You rest.’

  He responded with something that sounded like a hum.

  When she stepped out of the hall into the warmth of the main room, she composed herself as well as she could.

  Priscilla motioned her to a wooden table much like Jonas’s.

  ‘Nickel and Michael have gone to help John Paul find his way here,’ she said. ‘I made lavender tea and scones.’

  Kit knew she couldn’t eat but she sat beside her, across from Jonas and Megan, their hands joined on the table.

  ‘Do you think that’s a good idea?’ Kit asked. ‘Nickel’s not all that reliable.’

  ‘He’s reliable enough to have led you to us. He’s reliable enough to make guitar straps for our instruments and carve toys for our kids. We’re even starting to sell some of them and he wants none of the money.’

  ‘But you won’t let him join you because of his drinking?’

  ‘We love him but it’s too big a risk right now,’ Priscilla said softly. ‘I keep hoping, one day, he’ll be able to overcome his demons. I pray for it.’

  ‘How did Farley get here?’ Kit asked her.

  ‘Megan?’ Priscilla said it as graciously as if offering her a scone.

  ‘Because of me.’ Megan clutched Jonas’s hand and he placed his other one on top of hers. ‘Will set me up with a man. More about that later.’

  ‘I know about Chuck,’ Kit said.

  Her cheeks turned red. Jon
as put his arm around her. ‘Chuck was a good man. He wanted to help me. Will attacked him and Chuck told me to make sure no one in the pub saw what was happening. When I came back outside, Farley – he was the guitar player to me then – was fighting with Will on the ground. Will grabbed a wrench out of the saddlebags on his motorcycle and hit him over the head.’ Tears filled her eyes.

  ‘Why didn’t you call the police?’ Kit demanded.

  ‘I was afraid that he would die and that I’d get blamed.’ She met Kit’s gaze. ‘I was a different person then, under Will’s spell in a way.’

  ‘Why didn’t you at least take Farley to a hospital?’

  ‘You don’t understand Will.’

  ‘I’ve met him,’ she said. ‘He tried to drug me at the general store.’

  ‘But you don’t understand what it’s like to be on that merry-go-round that he can be,’ she said. Jonas and Priscilla chuckled. ‘No, it is like a merry-go-round,’ Megan said. ‘Music and movement and crazy stuff behind the scenes. I knew he was planning to kill Farley the first night because he told me to get rid of his phone.’

  ‘And you hid it in the fruit stand,’ Kit said.

  ‘I didn’t want any part of what Will was planning.’ Megan turned to Jonas, who looked almost as pale as Farley. ‘I thought if I kept his phone I’d have proof of who he was.’

  ‘In case Will killed him?’ Kit didn’t bother hiding the anger in her voice.

  Megan jerked up from the table. ‘You have no right to judge me. I did the best I could for Farley, and when I could get away from Will, I did.’

  ‘I’m not judging you,’ Kit said.

  She nodded and pulled her black ponytail out of the clip. ‘Maybe I’m just tired. I haven’t had much sleep and I think I just need to rest.’

  ‘I didn’t mean to snap at you.’ Kit sipped her tea and forced herself to remain calm. ‘It’s just emotional for me to find him here, and I am grateful to you for saving his life. I can’t tell you how grateful.’

  Megan had started across the room. Kit stood, went to her and hugged her. ‘Thank you.’

  Megan’s stiff stance felt more natural, softer, and she took a deep breath. ‘There’s something I haven’t told you. Will came by here today driving a dark-colored van with a blonde woman in it. He said he came for his things.’