True Control 4.2: A Dark Romance (True Series Book 5)

by Madison, Willow

  But I’ve thought about it often. That Wednesday night with Max. That Friday with Jake.

  I shake with tears in his arms.

  Chapter 3 HIM

  “Yes, Sir. I’ll let you know as soon as the detective gets here.” I listen a little more as Dad assures me that he’ll be making calls on his way to my place in the meantime. “Yeah. That’s a good idea to leave Mom at home for now….it might be a zoo here soon.”

  I put my cell in my pocket after looking to see if I missed any calls or texts. Maybe Lucy is with her friend Laura after all? Or in the hospital. My investigators are checking this next.

  Please…don’t let her be hurt…

  I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to Lucy…she’s my life. My everything. She has been since the first time I saw her.

  Just before our wedding, waiting for the door to open, waiting to see her for the first time that day…this is how I felt. This separation. The need to see her again. To see her smile, her eyes. She has my heart and it feels like it’s tearing in my chest right now.

  I want to punch something. I need to be doing something!

  I walk into the living room again. Jeff is waiting at the table. He stands when I walk in. “Jeff…give me something…tell me your friend is doing something right now…”

  “Tom is doing everything he can…until this is an official investigation and he’s assigned, he can only do so much…” Not what I needed to hear. I growl and turn around in a small circle slowly. Fuck!

  “Dad’s on his way here…he’s going to see what he can do to speed up that official assignment anyway.” I reach for the bottle of scotch and notice Jeff watching me. I don’t give a shit. I need a drink right now. Or I need to punch something. He seems to get it and backs off with his hands up in the air.

  I walk out into the night air with my glass. My Lucy. Somewhere out here…Where are you, little girl?!

  Chapter 3 HER

  I get control over my tears slowly. Jake keeps his hands pressed on my head and shoulder though. His fingers rub my curls and the skin on my neck. I start to feel uncomfortable and push slightly against him.

  He lets go, almost pushing me away.

  “I’m sorry…I’m just scared…you said Max was looking for me?”

  He nods, “Yeah…he went downtown with Jeff. Even called me to keep a look out for you at your place.” He reacts to my look. “Sit down.” I let him lead me to his sofa. He sits close to me, keeping his hand on mine. His other hand pushing my hair back, rubbing my arm.

  I like his touch, it’s gentle. I need a reminder that Max can be gentle too, like his brother. “I…I wasn’t thinking...” tears well up again, but I don’t stop, I just let them fall onto our hands in my lap, without blinking. “I dropped my purse and phone, thinking I’d tell Max that I was mugged…” I look up into his emerald green eyes. They’re not soft, but his face is, “Remember when we were mugged in the park?” He nods.

  “I figured that would be ok…he’d forgive me for missing my appointment…and it was an excuse why he couldn’t reach me…just in case. But…But you weren’t home.” I sob again. I can’t help it. I’m in a desperate spot and I know it. I can’t explain away this amount of time…my phone and purse…Oh, God…he called the police! I’m not a good liar…I don’t know how I thought I could make this work!

  Shit. And I feel the familiar twinge of guilt at disobeying Max’s rule about cussing, even in my own head. I cry louder.

  Jake pulls me into a hug again. His embrace feels good. It shouldn’t, but it does.

  Chapter 4 HIM

  I walk back inside, hanging up the phone. “Your friend’s here. He’s coming up.” Jeff only nods and heads towards the door to open it. I set my empty glass down on the table and take a seat.

  I’ve had clients that have had run-ins with the police before. Kids in trouble. High-profile wife in an accident injuring someone. A few civil lawsuits that started with criminal investigations. But I’ve never had the need to call a cop myself.

  I don’t really know what to expect. Until Killaney walks in. And he’s exactly what I would picture. Ill-fitting suit, short, sloppy, red-faced. Alert. His eyes take everything in before focusing on me. His hand is extended before his bag is even on the table.

  “Mr. Traeger. I’m sorry to meet under these circumstances.” I only mumble a hello and shake his hand. “Jeff has shared some good stories about working with you over a beer or two.” He’s eyeing my glass and the bottle of scotch.

  “Can I get you a drink, Detective?”

  He licks his lips. “Well…technically, I’m not on the job right now…so, sure.” I don’t have to ask if he wants any scotch; it’s obvious. Not off to a good start, but I nod to Jeff to get another glass.

  “So what did you find out so far?”

  “Not much unfortunately.” He lifts his glass in cheers before taking a big drink. “I have the purse and phone bagged and we’ll hopefully pull prints pretty quick. But it looks like a simple robbery if anything. No cash, but cards were all left. Strange that the perp wouldn’t take the phone, but it’s not the latest model maybe…”

  I nod. I’d already checked online for any charges to the cards. Nothing new.

  “Do you have any ideas for where Lucy would be?” I only shake my head. “No friend or family she might be staying with…?”

  I shake my head again, “No. I’ve already called everyone around here. Her brother and best friend. No one’s seen or talked to her today.” I stop, thinking, except my brother.

  “Hmm…and you think they’d tell you if she was with them…?”

  I don’t like where he’s going with this. “Yes, Detective.”

  “I gotta ask, Max.” He takes another big drink. “Usually, in these cases, the wife will show up on her own…usually turns out to be just a fight between a husband and wife…” I don’t say anything. “Did you have a fight with your wife, Max?”

  Chapter 4 HER

  Jake finally pulls me away again. He gets up and grabs a few napkins for me. “Blow your nose, Rudolph.” I laugh at this. I know my face gets all red and blotchy when I cry. Max says I’m beautiful like this…when he makes me cry anyway. I try to hold my breath to stop from hiccupping, but it’s too late.

  Jake laughs at me and grabs two bottles of water for us too. But he doesn’t sit back down next to me. Just keeps watching me as I drink almost half the bottle in one long gulp. “Thank you.”

  “So what did you need to talk to me about so urgently that you made such a fuck-up move today?” He’s angry again. His voice with the edge, his cursing at me.

  I’m feeling defensive again. “What you said this morning. We didn’t get to…to finish talking about what would happen…you left because Max would be home any minute…But I needed to know what you meant.”

  He rubs his chin again before running his hand through his hair. He glares at me. “I had to tell Max about seeing you today.” He watches as the blood runs out of my face. Trouble just keeps piling up for me. “Yeah…he was pretty pissed about it.” He moves around so he’s standing right in front of me. I look up at him, through my lashes. He’s giving me a pretty good preview of the look I’ll see on Max’s face. He cups my chin with his fingers and lifts my face to him more. But he only gives me that strange look of his. Like he’s looking through me, looking for something. He drops his hand and sits on the coffee table, facing me.

  I lower my chin and eyes. I know what I’m going to say will only make him more angry. “I needed to know what your Mom said to you. Why you were taking back everything that you said before.”

  “That’s why you blew off your doctor’s…why you came here and didn’t tell anyone?!” I don’t need to look up to know that he’s glaring at me. I only nod. “Goddammit, Lucy!” He jumps up and heads into the kitchen.

  I watch as he opens a bottle of beer from his fridge and takes a deep drink. He keeps watching me, slowing returning to sit on the coffee table again. He still
has that deep frown look. I slide back a little in the sofa, away from him.

  He wipes his lips and takes a deep breath. “I wasn’t taking everything back. I meant what I said before too. I do think Max is too hard on you.” I can finally look at him again. He’s only a little softer, though. “My conversation with Mom…” He sighs. “She said she knew that I struggled more than Max with how Dad was. But she hoped that I’d figure it out for myself. That tough love is still love. That’s how she put it. The man would slap her right in front of us, and she loved him. He’d treat her like a child, sending her to their room…everything he did.” He stops and looks knowingly at me. “But she loved him. She said she’s grateful that he came along. That she never knew what love and security was before him.”

  “And that made you…what, rethink things?” I’m still trying to figure out what he meant this morning.

  He shakes his head. “No. She did admit to all the abuse Max told you about…I even remembered a little hearing her talk…” His voice cracks at this admission. He’s never really wanted to remember anything. Max was always frustrated about this. Said Jake needed to remember to understand that things were better with Ron than without him. But Jake was too young to remember much of anything from their earliest childhood.

  “She apologized to me. Said that without Dad she doesn’t know what she would’ve done…to us, to herself. That she was suicidal back then. Depressed. On and off using drugs and men to forget about the two boys she had at home who needed her.” He looks at me with watery eyes. I lean forward and put my hands over his on his knees.

  “That’s how she put it. She didn’t hold anything back…maybe because I waited so long to talk to her.” He takes a deep breath. “But she told me that I need to stop blaming Dad. That she chose to stay. She chose to live by his rules, his discipline. That she’s never regretted the life she has with him. And he’s never really hurt her…not really. Just like he never really hurt us. And I know that much is true…I’m a stronger person because of Dad. Because of the love I had from Mom.”

  I only nod again. I don’t know what to say. This is what I came here to find out, but…I don’t know what to think of it. Jake’s always struggled with his upbringing. It’s why I talked to him that Friday. It’s why I’ve confided in him. Because he shares my questions and gives me insights into Max…how they were both raised.

  “She also told me…” He stops. His face turns from sad to stern to that odd look again so quickly; I imagine this is what Max sees when he says I’m so expressive. “She told me that I need to stop thinking that I can protect you.”

  I frown. “Why would she say that?!”

  “Because she knows that I care about you… And I talked about you once to her.”

  “You did?” He never told me this. I’m not sure how this makes me feel…uncomfortable I guess is the easiest way to put it.

  “Yeah. It was just before I bought this place.” He looks around. I know he was proud of himself for getting this place on his own, for deciding to make such a big move for himself and his business. He really wants to showcase his work here. I look around too. There’s only one light on in the kitchen, but I can see that it’s looking nice so far.

  “I told her I always thought I’d wait until I had a wife by my side.” He was looking over my head, but he lowers his eyes to lock with mine. Definitely uncomfortable, but I can’t look away. “I told her that I didn’t think it was right, how Max won’t let you make any decisions for yourself…that he doesn’t appreciate having a good wife like you.”

  I swallow. “What…what did your Mom say?”

  “She told me that Max’s marriage was none of my business. And that I shouldn’t be thinking so much about my brother’s wife.”

  I can’t think clearly. He’s too close. The room is too dark. I swallow again. But he doesn’t move away. I watch as he squeezes my hands still on his knees. I don’t lift my eyes from his fingers, but I can see his look getting sterner again. “Lucy, you came here to talk to me…and I’m glad you did. You’ve made a royal mess of everything…but it gives me a chance,” I can see and hear his frown, “Look at me, girl.” Obedient puppy, I lift my eyes and chin. “It gives me a chance to set things straight with you.” I can only swallow again and nod slightly.

  Chapter 5 HIM

  “Lucy and I don’t fight.” I pour myself a little more scotch and tilt the bottle towards Killaney, he nods. I pour a little more for him too.

  “Never? Wow. You’re a lucky man…my wife and me…we’re like cats and dogs thrown into a wet sack together most days.” He takes a big gulp. “Having three boys in only four years doesn’t help much.” He laughs. “You got any kids?”

  “No. We’ve only been married six months.” I don’t want to discuss this.

  “Newlyweds…that’s nice.” He looks at his glass, making the scotch leg’s wrap around the inside before tilting it up again for a big drink. “So what’s with the list?”

  He means the list of chores for Lucy of course. It’s still sitting on the table. “Chores for my wife. She didn’t get to most of them today.”

  He takes out a small notepad and pen from his pocket. He pulls the list closer to his seat with the pen, but doesn’t pick it up. “This your handwriting or hers?”

  “Mine.”

  “You always leave her a list of chores?”

  “Yes.”

  “And she doesn’t argue…you two don’t fight?” He’s laughing, looking at me with just his eyes raised from the list.

  “No. Lucy’s a good girl. She does as she’s told.”

  “Wow. I guess that makes you a very lucky man, Max.” The conversation is starting to shift. I’d like to keep it on track. I glance at Jeff, but he’s staying out of it, hanging back on the sofa.

  “So what is the next step in finding Lucy?”

  Chapter 5 HER

  “Lucy, I’ve appreciated…these past months.” I can feel his warm fingers on mine. “But I don’t think that Max is going to allow it to continue and…” He swallows, pulling his hands back. I pull mine back too. I can’t stop staring into his eyes. He hasn’t hardly blinked even. “Well…I’m not sure it was a good idea for either of us anyway.”

  I reach and put just my fingertips over his. “It helped me a lot, Jake…being able to talk to you…it did help.”

  He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. They stay stern, even getting a little angrier with me again. “That’s just it. You wouldn’t be here now if it had helped.” He shakes his head, runs his fingers through his hair again…his frustrated move. “I meant it this morning. I’ve been wrong. About everything. About you. About Max.”

  “That’s why I came…I needed to know what you meant…but you just left so quickly…”

  “I left because I didn’t want to cause any problems for you…for Max. I was going to tell you…that I wasn’t going to be coming over anymore. That it wasn’t a good idea and if Max ever knew…” He doesn’t need to finish this thought. I shiver a little thinking about what’s waiting for me.

  He grins, seeing my fear. “Yeah…he’ll go apeshit after this.” He tilts his head back and stares at his ceiling for a moment. “I was wrong to interfere. I was wrong to check on you that first time and to keep coming back.”

  “But I liked our friendship. I liked that I could talk to you. You helped me to see things from Max’s side...” My voice is small. I don’t want to lose the one person I can talk to besides Max…even more than Max in some ways.

  He glares at me. I back away again, startled by the intensity of his anger so quickly flared. “And I liked seeing you. A lot. You want the truth?” I don’t move.

  He gets up and walks a few feet away before turning on me again. “You are such a stupid little girl, Lucy! You have no idea…” But he doesn’t finish.

  I stand slowly, “Maybe I should go…” I turn to leave.

  He grabs my arm and yanks me back to sitting on the sofa. I’m shocked. He’s never touched
me so roughly before. He’s reminded me of Max so often in the past months, but never quite like this. I’m almost afraid of him.

  He shakes his head and clenches his fists for a moment before walking away. I don’t get up again, just watch him go back to the beer on the counter and finish it in one long drink, staring at me. When he comes back, it’s with that same rolled shoulder, deep look. I sit back on the sofa more again.

  He sits on the coffee table, our knees touching.

  “That night. The night Max and I picked you up and we saw that guy with his hand on you.” My cheeks flare thinking of how angry Max was. What he did to me. But I remember that Jake shared his brother’s anger that night too. Even that Friday when he came over, he was still angry. Even when he held me.

  He puts his hands on my knees. They’re almost hot against me now. “Max was right. He said it today to me, when I told him that I started seeing you ever since that night.”

  “He was right about what?” I don’t want to know, but I can’t stop meeting his stare, I can’t help asking.

  “That we’re not so different.” He squeezes my knees, not a tickle, but a firm grip. Like his grip on my arm, not a touch I’m used to, from him at least. “Maybe if I’d been more honest with myself…I could’ve been more honest with you…” He doesn’t let go and I don’t move. “I could’ve told you what a bad idea it was for us to meet behind Max’s back. I could’ve told you not to trust me. I could’ve told you…” He stops though, breaking the spell by letting go of my legs and sitting back.

  I swallow hard, this was not how today was supposed to go. I didn’t think it through, but I imagined talking to Jake, feeling better about finding out if I’m pregnant, feeling stronger about talking to Max about my fears tonight. Not sitting here with a mess at home and a mess here. I’ve made a mess of everything.

  “Jake…I came here because you’re my friend. Because I needed to hear what you had to say. Because hearing you say that…that you’d changed your mind…that I should stop questioning everything and just be what Max wants…” I can feel tears in my eyes again. Ever since that Friday, since Max showed his true brutal anger to me…I’ve questioned if I can stay. If I can be the wife that he needs, submit to his level of painful punishments…raise a child the way he wants. Jake knew this. To hear him say today that I should just stop thinking and be with Max…Today, when I might find out that I’m pregnant already…I needed to talk to him. But not like this.