Scars and Songs (Mad World)

by Christine Zolendz

  “Hey, Mr. Rossi. Thanks for having me today. I’m doing great. How have you been?” I answered.

  He lowered his gaze and stepped closer to me. “Good, good, son. I’m sure glad that everything was settled and you didn’t have anything to do with hurting our Gracie. Lea told me that you were the one to help her when that son of a bitch got his hands on her. We’re forever in your debt, Shane. I knew you couldn’t have hurt her.” He slid in front of the dining room chair at the head of the table, and sat down, leaning back with his arms folded across his chest. A serious expression crossed his features, “So did anybody get the son of a bitch, yet? Or am I going to have to make some calls…” Holy shit, it’s like the Godfather.

  “Shut up, dear,” Caroline cut him off, while placing an enormous platter full of spaghetti and meatballs on the table. She waved her hands at him to settle him down. “Let’s have a nice delicious Sunday lunch and not talk about all this horror, please.” She fanned her hands over her face dramatically, “You men can talk about all this Law and Order, CSI crime stuff after eating. Grace has been through enough already. She doesn’t want to hear anymore.” She walked back into the kitchen, only to come back with more food, salad, Italian bread, garlic knots and a huge pitcher of water with slices of fruit floating in it.

  Then lunch/dinner began. I had never seen so much food in my entire life, and everything was delicious. And the conversation was very entertaining to say the least; it started with the most insane giggling from Grace and Lea.

  “Gracie, dear. When was the last time you ate any food?” Caroline asked.

  “Um, I had a handful of Tic-tacs on Thursday,” Grace answered. Lea looked over at her, while shoving an enormous spoonful of spaghetti in her mouth and laughed. Grace slurped up a long strand of spaghetti, smacking sauce all over her face.

  “I can tell, dear. Don’t you girls ever cook for yourselves? You do know how to make nutritious foods, don’t you?” She glared at Lea.

  Lea looked thoughtful while she chewed on her food. She took her time swallowing and then answered. “Well, we did make some Spam with Oreo Cookie glaze last Wednesday. That was yummy, right guys?”

  What the? Spam with Oreo Cookie glaze?

  “I see,” Caroline grumbled. “Well, does anyone have any good news or surprises to tell us?”

  “I won a whole dollar in a scratch off game!” Grace giggled madly.

  “Have you been drinking, dear?” Caroline reprimanded her.

  “No more than usual,” Grace smiled back.

  It was like watching a sitcom. This shit was hilarious!

  Caroline smirked at Lea then glanced at Conner, “Well, Lea, I just can’t understand why you’re not married yet.” Conner sunk lower into his chair. Wuss, if it was me I would have gotten down on one knee right there.

  “I’m just lucky, I guess. No really, I mean, I love Conner and all but I’m holding out for Johnny Depp,” Lea answered batting her eyes.

  Johnny Depp? Like, Captain Jack Sparrow?

  “And you, Grace? What’s your excuse?”

  I smiled to myself. Give me two weeks, lady. Then I’m on one knee.

  “I’m waiting for the zombie apocalypse, because that’s the theme of the wedding I want. I figured all the guests could just eat each other and I could really save a few bucks on food, you know?”

  I completely snorted my water through my nose with that. I hoped nobody noticed. It got all over my shirt and the worst part were those tiny bits of fruit in the water. Did I mention it shot out my nose? Bits of fruit? Yeah.

  “No, no, Caroline. Why should these girls buy the cow when you could get all the milk for free?” Anthony laughed along with the girls.

  “Oh my. Well, I just want to know if either of you will be giving me grandchildren anytime soon?”

  This is when Conner started to choke on a meatball. He was grabbing at his throat and coughing; me, I laughed.

  “I’m allergic,” Grace laughed.

  “Conner’s family eats their young, so that’s a no go for us,” Lea smiled.

  “Oh dear,” Caroline mumbled and covered her mouth with her hand.

  Lea’s hands flew up in the air, “I win! Biotch!”

  Grace threw her napkin into her plate. “You, my friend, are the undefeated champion! We shall have a parade in your honor and a statue built in your likeness.”

  Lea held up her finger and giggled, “Umm, build it in chocolate and erect it outside in the front yard, then everyone can eat me!”

  These two were bat-shit crazy, and I would thank God every day of the rest of this life for leading me to them.

  Chapter 22

  We sat around the living room after dinner. Conner, Lea and both her parents argued and debated about what they should name grandchildren or some nonsense like that.

  Grace sat on one of the old couches with slumped shoulders, and watched the discussion, without expression. Her eyes moved from the loud laughter and yelling to her folded hands on her lap. A heavy sadness seemed to blanket her features and my breath stalled; I recognized her loneliness. I knew it all too well. The need to touch her was overwhelming to me, so I sat next to her, her beautiful face turned to mine. Our lonely eyes met each other. No words were spoken between us, nothing needed saying. Our eyes and souls were connected in a room full of life, and we had been the two loneliest people in the world, I understood her; and we didn’t have to be alone any longer.

  In front of us, the laughing and teasing went on. My heart ached as if it were a real pain, for her. These were the only people she had left; Lea was like family to her.

  I slowly reached my hand out to her and I could see her breath quicken a notch at the anticipation of my touch. Both of us looked down at our hands side by side in between us waiting for the collision of our bodies. When I slid my pinky along the side of her hand and up to the tip of her elbow, her breath caught and our eyes locked together once again.

  I leaned in close to her. “Want to take a walk?” I asked in a low whisper that blew the loose strands of the hair against her neck.

  Grace’s head tilted back as if I had caressed her and a mischievous twinkle danced wildly in her eyes. “I have a better idea. Want to go for a bike ride?”

  My stomach clenched. Why in the world would she want to go bike riding on a cold March day? “Yeah, sure, but I was kind of hoping I could hold your hand while we walk.” I also want to kiss you until you’re a puddle of sexy sauce on the floor, and then I want to lick you up, slowly.

  She laughed and snorted, giving me a playful shove off the couch. “Come on, the garage is out back, and I’ll let you hold my hand.” She glanced over to Lea and smiled at her, giving her a wink. “Shane and I are going for a ride. We won’t be too long.”

  Why did I have the feeling those two were laughing at me and she was going to put me on a bicycle with a giant banana seat with glittery pink fringe sticking out of the handlebars? Hell, I would slap some bright pink lipstick on and paint my damn nails if it meant I could spend time with Grace again.

  Lea smiled wide, eyes twinkling, “Sure, when you guys get back, we can get ready to go somewhere on the beach to dance tonight.” She gave me a wink. “Have fun.” Oh, yeah. Something was definitely going on. Freaking bike probably had a little bell and a basket. Screw it, I was ready to ring the bell, so bring it on.

  We grabbed our jackets and threw them on. She led me through the kitchen and out the side door into the backyard, all the while, holding my hand and tugging me forward, “You might want to zip up; it gets pretty cold by the ocean if we ride fast.”

  Ride fast? Yeah, my mind went completely to sex right there.

  We walked through the empty yard and she opened the garage door letting out a low sigh. Yeah, my mind went completely to sex right there too. Well, until I looked into the open garage.

  “Oh, fuck me. Grace, I thought you said bike! That’s a…”

  Blushing, she handed me a helmet from off one of the shelves and strapped one
on herself. I knew my mouth was hanging open.

  “A Harley Davidson Super Low 883?” She laughed. It was taking my breath away. “You still up for a ride, Shane?”

  “Crap, Grace! Every single day I spend with you…you have managed to shock me and turn my world upside down…” Yeah, I started babbling. Next, I probably would be slapping on lipstick and doing my nails.

  Then, she did the sexiest fucking thing I ever saw a woman do. It wasn’t a lap dance or a strip tease; she raised her leg, slung it over the bike, and pushed it out of the garage, through the backyard into the front of the house, effortlessly. I could barely walk alongside her; I was so damn turned on. It took a great deal of self-control not to bend her over that bike and own her right there. It was primal and animalistic; my body ached so badly for her it was bordering on fucking pain.

  “Grace, there’s no freaking way I’m riding bitch behind you.” I wanted her body wrapped around me.

  She slid herself over the gas tank and patted the seat behind her. “Then you drive,” she said throwing me the keys.

  “God, you’re so damn beautiful,” I whispered.

  I slid up behind her and she settled her body into my lap. My helmet automatically collided with hers as my head slumped forward when the warmth of her body nestled perfectly in between my thighs. Muscles along my legs stiffened and twisted; my entire body was in flames. I placed the key in the ignition, turning it and when the engine roared to life, the vibrations of her body against mine almost sent me over the edge. I needed to get a handle on my arousal or else I was going to embarrass myself up against the back of her ass on this bike. I eased off the clutch, kicked my feet up and pulled out into the street. I wrapped one hand tightly around her waist while the other steered and Grace leaned back into me and smiled. We cruised down the streets alongside the sandy beaches of the Atlantic Ocean, cold wind whipping on our faces, burning our eyes and stinging our uncovered hands. The waves along the shoreline lapped against the beach and I could swear I heard it over the rumble of the engine.

  Wanting to get closer to the ocean, I drove up onto the boardwalk and rode above the old wooden slats for a few miles. Then I just needed to stop and sit with her in the sand, so I parked the bike and helped her off. Wordlessly, I took her hand and pulled her onto the beach, over the sand and right to the cold waves that crashed themselves against the shore.

  I sat down on the sand and gently tugged her to sit down beside me. Our hands lingered in each other’s and neither of us said anything. We just quietly stared out over the shimmering waters of the Atlantic, savoring the warmth that had sparked an inferno in our hands.

  Softly, I pulled her closer to me and sat her in my lap with her legs draped over mine. A distant look fell like a shadow over her face and she busied herself by staring at her hands. I wondered what her thoughts had turned to, making her look so sad. Softly cupping her chin in one of my hands, I pulled her face to look at me. There was a fluttering feeling in my stomach and my heart hammered unrhythmically in my chest. I studied her face, trying to gauge if kissing her now would be too soon for this friendship she wanted to have.

  Her chest rose and fell faster under my stare. Softly, I skimmed my fingertips from her chin across her jaw, down her neck and into her hair. My fingers were icy cold and I knew the feel of them on her skin was like fire. I pulled her head towards me, my lips gently pressed against hers, both of us panting and struggling for air. Then, I slowly pulled away. Pain darkened her features, and I knew I made the right decision on the kind of kiss. A small tender kiss like that had us both panting and wanting more. I wanted to take this friendship slowly, because by the time we got to more than friendship, we’d be fast, hard and explosive. I wanted to savor every moment of Grace.

  I leaned back on my arms and smirked at her, “So what the heck was all that crazy talk with Lea’s parents?”

  Grace pinched her lips together, and sighed heavily shaking her head. Frustrated, love? I feel your pain. She shifted herself on my lap and I pretended not to notice; it almost killed me. Cursing under her breath at me, she lay down on her side in front of me, leaning her head against her hand. “It’s just a funny game we play when her mother asks us inappropriate questions. Caroline knows we were just teasing her. We call it, Oh Dear. When someone asks us questions that are too personal, we try to come up with the craziest answers. The first person to make her mom say oh dear wins. Lea usually wins. You know Lea, she’s got a way about her, sometimes you have to wonder where she comes up with some of the things that fly out of her mouth,” she laughed.

  “They’ve been like parents to you, huh?” I asked.

  Her eyes turned glassy and looked out across the ocean. “Yea, they took Jacob and me in after my parent’s accident and after my release from the hospital. I was fourteen and Jake was eighteen, but he left for college soon after my parents died.”

  I watched her carefully, wondering if I should say something more. I wanted to see what she had to say about her ex-boyfriend and if she had any clue if I was still Shamsiel. Clearing my throat, I took a deep breath and just went for it. “So what did happen with that ex-boyfriend of yours?”

  Her eyes slowly moved back to look into mine. They probably tried to measure my sincerity for few moments, lingering on thoughts before her words emerged. “I was an idiot,” she whispered, looking away. “I just loved him so completely that everything and everyone dulled in comparison to him. But it wasn’t in his nature to love me the same way. When he had the chance to take me with him, or stay with me, he just left.”

  She thinks I left her here?

  I was in complete shock. What would cause her to think I left her, when it was me who gave up everything? “It’s kind of hard to believe that someone would leave you, Grace. Do you still love him?”

  A strong winter wind blew her hair tossing it wildly across her face, dramatically, “Always and forever, and then an eternity after. A girl will never forget her first perfect innocent kiss.” She breathed in deeply, “We were in really different places in our lives, Shane. I don’t blame him one bit for his decision. He was someone very awe-inspiring and I know I didn’t deserve his love…I just…I just physically hurt knowing that for so long, I held onto him when I had no chance to be with him, ever. He made the choice just to leave. I know it was supposed to be to make me happy, but it sure as hell didn’t.”

  “The man was a bigger jackoff than I thought,” I cringed. I needed to make her forget about angels and just fall in love with the human me. That’s all I had to offer her now.

  She smiled at me and shook her head slightly, “No, we just really weren’t supposed to be together. It was a real Romeo and Juliet type of relationship. We were completely forbidden to be together.”

  I leaned my face closer to hers and whispered low into her ear, “There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.”

  “Mark Twain? Shane, how do you know all those quotes that pop out of your mouth?”

  My lips tingled from the wideness of my smile. “How do you know all the people the words belong too?”

  “Touché,” she said laughing.

  I shifted even closer to her, so that my lips were now touching the warm skin of her cheeks. “Hear my soul speak. Of the very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly at your service,” I whispered.

  “Shakespeare. The Tempest.” She teasingly pushed my face away. “Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality. Edgar Allen Poe.”

  “You know, Grace, you are the only girl that can go toe to toe with me without batting an eye.”

  She batted those stunning eyes at me. Fuck, I wanted to pounce on her. If I stayed on this beach any longer, I was going to lose myself inside her. Take it slow; don’t let her know who you were!

  I almost punched myself in the nuts for ending our talk, but I had to. I couldn’t stay there alone with her, without touching her in the way I really wanted to, or telling her the stuff
I really wanted to say. “Want to head back now? I heard something about taking a little hottie out dancing tonight…” Taking her hand, I helped her up and we walked through the sand back to her bike, holding hands.

  “So you’re taking out a little hottie, huh? Lucky girl,” she laughed as we climbed back on the bike.

  “Yea, well, it’s pretty much a lost cause. Last time I made a play for her and talked to her, she just wanted me to treat her like one of the guys. It’s a damn shame, because I think she’s freaking amazing.”

  She blushed about ten shades of sexy as sin red across her cheeks. “Wow. So what are you going to do about that?” She challenged me.

  Lowering my face to just an inch above hers, I brought my eyes right to hers, “I’m going to do everything I can fucking think of to change her mind.”

  A small gasp fell past her lips and with it, I turned around, started the bike and drove us towards Lea’s parent’s house. She grasped onto my waist, slid her cold hands under my jacket and shirt, and laid them against my skin. I thought she was trying to kill me. Was there a more perfect way to die?

  Chapter 23

  We really tried to wait for the girls to get ready, we really did. Conner couldn’t take being in the house with Lea’s parents any longer, while they planned out how many children Conner should father and what to name all six of them. So, instead of waiting in the middle of the battlefield they called a living room, we waited for the girls at a bar called Sunsets, right off the beach.

  Conner slouched himself against the bar and hung his head in his hands, groaning.

  After ordering two beers from a bartender with bright orange hair, I turned to Conner and nudged him with his beer. “You okay, bro?”

  Raising his head only slightly, he groaned even louder, “Six kids, Shane! They expect six kids and they have named them ALL for us!” He straightened up and raked his hands over his face. “I am twenty-four years old. I’ve been with Lea for eight months and they are talking about us having six children. I feel sick. I don’t even think I could take care of a fish.”