Third Chances

by Smoak, Ivy

  I laughed. "I think a ton of people are going to try to crash your wedding. It's the wedding of the season."

  He smiled. "How did that happen?"

  "Everyone loves you and Penny. That's how that happened."

  He ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry if I scared Daphne away. I wasn't feeling well and..."

  "Don't worry about her." She's the fucking worst. "I got you a couple things." I tossed the bag on his lap.

  He laughed when he pulled out the dirty magazine. "Seriously?"

  "Seriously. You need to unwind."

  He laughed again. "Yeah, maybe. I don't really think I need this for that though. You could just give me my phone. I have tons of naughty pictures of Penny on there."

  "Seriously? I promise not to look at that."

  "I'll kill you if you look at them."

  "I won't." I really hoped I could keep my word on that. Picturing her was one thing. Actually seeing her naked wasn't a good idea. "I'm going to let you talk to her in the morning. Mason has your phone right now, so I can't help you there."

  "Thanks. I really do miss her."

  "I know. Which is why I got you this." I pulled out the ice cream.

  He smiled. "I am glad you and Penny are close. I don't know what I'd do if you two didn't get along." He popped off the top and grabbed one of the spoons. "This is one of the best parts," he gestured to the screen as Vince Vaughn started one of his long hilarious monologues.

  I laughed and realized James wasn't laughing with me. I looked over at him. He had fallen asleep. I remembered seeing him like this sometimes growing up. He was always so stressed out, but when he was asleep he looked so calm.

  How could he think he wasn't a good brother? Had I somehow made him feel that way? It hurt me that he thought that. James had protected me my whole life. He gave into Mom and Dad's demands so that I wouldn't have to. He gave up his life so that I wouldn't have to. He wasn't a bad brother. I was.

  And that's why I took care of him when he was like this. That's why I was the only one that didn't abandon him when he got so depressed that he fell off the wagon in college. That's why I wouldn't let some fucking girl tell me anything about his problems. I knew his problems because I had caused them. He was depressed because of what my parents did to him. He took all the pressure off of me. And yet he was always there for me. He came to every single one of my soccer and baseball games growing up. He helped me with my homework. He bailed me out of jail. He was always there when I needed him. I owed him everything.

  Yet I wasn't the one who cured him. Penny fixed him, not me. Or maybe becoming a professor and leaving New York. I wasn't sure. But one thing was certain; I had failed him. Especially when I was younger. He sacrificed so much for me. And I just let him. No one should ever be judging him. They should be judging me.

  "I'm sorry," I whispered. "James, I'm so sorry."

  ***

  I woke up laying next to him in bed. I wasn't sure where Mason and Matt were. But I had made a promise to James and I wanted to keep it. I pushed his shoulder. "Get up."

  He groaned in his sleep.

  "Do you want to talk to Penny or not?"

  His eyes flew open. "Do you have my phone?"

  "No, Mason still has it I think. You'll have to use the phone at the concierge desk. But you have to hurry before they wake up."

  "Right." He climbed off the bed and looked around for his shirt.

  "Over there." I pointed to where he had stripped for Daphne last night. Daphne. Ugh.

  "Thanks, Rob. I owe you one."

  "No, you really don't."

  He gave me a strange look. "What happened last night? I remember going to dinner, but..." his voice trailed off. "And my head kind of hurts."

  "Go call Penny. I'll explain later."

  James gave up looking for his dress shoes. He slipped on his flip flops instead and ran out the door. I tried not to laugh at how ridiculous he looked in a suit and flip fops.

  Chapter 25

  Daphne

  I pushed a branch out of the way and cursed under my breath. It was like a thousand degrees outside, even with the rain. When I had started out, it hadn't even been drizzling. I had made a few wrong turns, though, and the hike was taking longer than I thought it would. By the time I reached the waterfall, I was completely soaked, even though the canopy of leaves had been blocking most of the rain.

  I stepped into the clearing and looked up at the sky. Most people probably would have spread their arms and welcomed the rain on their skin. But I was keenly aware of the fact that I was all alone. Just like always. The rain falling down on me made me feel so small. I didn't want to be alone anymore. Why did I always push everyone away? I hugged myself and closed my eyes. There was no reason to ask myself that question. I knew why. I just didn't want to think about it.

  There was no reason to be upset about what happened with Rob. It was one day of my life. I rarely ever said yes to dates. My friends had pushed me. That was all it was. Whatever I had felt, I had just gotten swept up in the excitement of it all. Sure, Rob was nice. But clearly he wasn't the guy for me. There were so many red flags. Him losing his temper last night would have been the last straw anyway. I had just been trying to help. Besides, he lived in Delaware. I lived in New York. The whole thing was stupid. I wasn't going to think about him anymore. I wasn't even sure why I was thinking about him now.

  I opened my eyes and watched the ripples in the water from the rain. Last night I had roamed around the hotel until my friends had gotten back and fallen asleep. I wasn't going to risk them putting their bracelets on me again. And I had woken up at the crack of dawn to go on this hike by myself. I loved my friends, but I was in serious need of some alone time. I wrapped my arms even tighter around myself.

  It had been a bad idea to come on this trip. Alina would have understood if I had backed out. They all would have understood. And I was pissed at Kristen for not running this bachelorette party idea by me. She knew about Derek. She knew and she didn't care how much this was going to hurt me.

  I sat down on one of the rocks by the edge of the water. I wasn't sure why I wanted to come here again. It's not like I was crazy enough to go swimming by myself in crocodile infested waters. I hugged my knees to my chest. But Derek would have loved it here. I would give anything for him to be next to me right now. I was vaguely aware of the fact that I was crying. It felt refreshing for the rain to instantly wash away the salty tears from my face, as if there were no consequences for being upset out here.

  It had been a year and a half. Why did it still hurt so much? When would it stop feeling like this?

  "You've got to be kidding me."

  I opened my eyes and saw Rob standing on a rock in front of the small waterfall. Completely soaked. And completely naked. My eyes seemed locked on his perfect body. It didn't look like he had an ounce of fat on him. The water glistened on his flawless skin. He looked like a Greek god. He wasn't even erect and he was huge. Why am I looking at his penis? Stop looking at his penis! I forced my eyes to meet his. He had a scowl on his face.

  "I'm sorry." I quickly stood up. "I'll go."

  "Don't bother. I'm leaving anyway." He walked over to a backpack on the ground. He grabbed a pair of athletic shorts, hastily pulling them on, hiding his perfect ass from view.

  Stop staring at him. But I couldn't seem to stop.

  He crouched down, picked up a bottle of shampoo, and shoved it into his backpack.

  "Were you showering under the waterfall?" Who does that?

  He stopped what he was doing and stared at me. "I don't see why that's any of your business, Daphne." His voice oozed with venom.

  I had never heard someone say my name like that. How could he hate me so much for trying to help? "Rob, the tour guide said there were crocodiles in there. It's dangerous. You shouldn't..."

  "I don't give a shit about what you think. I thought I made that clear last night." He stood up, pulling his backpack over one shoulder.

  "B
ut the crocodiles..."

  "The only thing dangerous here is you." He gestured to a small bruise on his chiseled abs.

  "Did I do that?" I thought about the other day when I had thought he was a crocodile. I had kicked and squirmed and tried to fight him off.

  He didn't answer me. He just started walking back toward the trail. He really was the most infuriating person I had ever met.

  "So you like putting yourself in danger? Rob, your brother needs you. You can't..."

  "Don't fucking tell me what my brother needs." He turned around and glared at me. "All my brother needs is for people like you to stop judging him for his past. He has a hard enough time letting things go without you trying to bring him down."

  "Okay." I felt even smaller than I did a minute ago.

  "You didn't even give me a chance to explain anything last night, you know? So I'm not giving you a chance to explain your opinions right now. And you know what? You don't even deserve to hear what I have to say. You don't deserve to get to know my brother. You don't deserve to get to know me."

  I nodded my head and looked away from him.

  "Jesus Christ. Don't cry about it."

  "I'm not crying because of you." Maybe I was a little. I was a little surprised that he could even see past the hatred in his eyes to notice that I was hurting. I wasn't just hurting. It felt like I was drowning.

  "Daphne..."

  "Just go."

  He took a step toward me. His face was softer than it had been a second ago. After everything he just said to me, how could he feel compassion toward me? He clearly loathed me. So why did it look like he wanted to comfort me?

  I took a step back. I didn't want his arms around me. I didn't need someone to tell me it was going to be okay. It wasn't okay. Nothing was okay. "Don't touch me."

  He stopped. "Okay. I didn't mean to make you cry." He ran his hand through his wet hair. He looked so smug and sexy. He was such a conceited asshole.

  "You'll lose him, you know. If you do nothing, you'll lose him."

  Rob's face hardened again. "Still, you haven't asked me about him. Still, you're pointing fingers, when you know nothing about his past. I'm not as blind as you think I am. He's fine. And if he wasn't, I would know. I'm not dumb enough to lose him. Now please, just leave us alone." He turned and walked back toward the trail.

  He left me feeling even worse about last night than I already did. And more alone than I had ever felt.

  ***

  I slowly opened the door to my room. It looked like everyone was still sleeping. I closed the door as quietly as I could.

  "I'm not dumb enough to lose him." Rob's words wouldn't stop echoing around in my head. I had believed Derek was better. I was dumb enough to lose him. My whole body was cold and it wasn't because I was soaked. I just felt so defeated. Was Rob actually right? Was it my fault that Derek was gone?

  "Hey," Kristen said. She yawned and sat up. "Walk of shame much?"

  I tried to laugh. It came out sounding forced and foreign to my ears. "No, I slept here last night. I just went for a walk his morning."

  "Mhm. I see that Rob has already removed your bracelet this morning. What did he make you do?"

  "No, actually. I just haven't put it on yet." I gestured to my bracelet which was still sitting on the nightstand.

  "Is everything okay?"

  "Yep." I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Everything's good." I needed to stop dwelling on what Rob had said. He didn't know anything about me. And he never would. Screw him. "What are we doing today?"

  "Zip lining."

  "Really?"

  "Don't look so freaked out. It's super safe. It's going to be fun. Tell me how last night went."

  "Umm...good."

  Kristen laughed. "That didn't sound convincing at all. Did he try to pressure you to have sex or something? I know how weird you are about waiting until the fifth date or whatever."

  "The sixth date. And no, nothing like that." He probably wouldn't have had to pressure me. But now I was so relieved that we hadn't taken it that far. I needed to change the subject. "'I saw James with his shirt off."

  Kristen's eyes lit up. "Did you drool everywhere? I remember watching him on his runs. Every now and then it would be so hot that he couldn't wear a shirt. He's so sexy."

  "You're such a stalker." I said it even thought I had done the same thing with Rob. I made sure to read on the green at the same time every day in hopes of seeing him.

  Kristen laughed. "I'm an observant person is all."

  I sat down at the small table in our room. "Do you know anything about his past?"

  "Who, James? Yeah, I know all about him. What do you want to know?"

  Of course she did. "Did he used to have a drug problem?"

  Kristen sighed. "That's like the one thing I don't know everything about. I think it's kind of buried. Rich people can do that I guess. All I know is that he has kind of a sad past and he never really talks about it in interviews. He's made it clear that he didn't love his first wife, though. He was depressed or something and his family pressured him into marrying her I think. I do know that he's been arrested a few times. But I don't know what the charges were. Did you know that he got fired from his first teaching job for punching the dean?"

  "Seriously? And you knew all this and still liked him?"

  "I like mysterious, dangerous guys."

  "Do you? I feel like Tim isn't dangerous at all."

  "Maybe. But he's very adventurous in bed."

  "I don't see how that parallels with your obsession with James."

  "If you don't think a guy that looks like James is good in bed, you're incredibly naive."

  "If you say so." I'd have to take her word for it because I had never slept with someone that good looking before. "Do you think James still has those problems?"

  Kristen shrugged. "He hasn't really been in the paper for anything bad since he stopped teaching. It was kind of messed up that Matt slipped him something given his history, though, right? But I really liked when James was mad at me. That was so hot, right?"

  "It wasn't hot. He clearly needs help."

  "He didn't take anything. He didn't even know what was going on."

  "Maybe. But how bad could his past have been really? He's super wealthy. I'm sure things were handed to him his whole life."

  Kristen frowned. "Why are you being so judgmental right now?"

  "I'm not. I just think that if he used to be an addict, he still is. And everyone should stop taking it so lightly. You saw how angry he was last night. We're lucky he didn't get violent like he did with that dean."

  "Wow. Just for the record, that dean was sleeping with his wife at the time. He totally deserved to get beat up. James' other charges were probably justified too. He's a stand up guy that has clearly been through some horrible stuff. Money doesn't fix everything, Daphne."

  "I know that. I just think all those guys are bad news."

  "Of course you do."

  "What is that supposed to mean?"

  "It means that last night you really liked Rob. And you woke up this morning and now hate him and his family and friends? You don't even really know them yet. And you don't know James, so stop..."

  "Neither do you. Just because you stalked him doesn't mean you know him. It's a sickness. He needs help."

  "Not everyone is your brother." Her words hung in the air.

  I didn't need to feel any worse than I already did. I turned away from her. Don't start crying again.

  "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

  "It's okay."

  "It's not okay." She got off the bed and hugged me. "Ew, why are you so wet?" She kept her arms wrapped around me anyway.

  I laughed. "I got caught in the rain."

  She didn't say anything, she just squeezed me even tighter. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

  "It's fine, Kristen." She was right. I was projecting my own problems onto Rob and his brother. What was wrong with me? I was completely out
of control. The Costa Rican heat was making me lose my mind. Rob was right to be mad at me. He wasn't me. And James wasn't Derek. Just because Derek never got better didn't mean James couldn't.

  "Good." She pulled back. "Because I didn't want you to be upset when I did this."

  She grabbed my wrist and clasped two bracelets to it before I even knew what was happening.

  "Kristen!"

  "Alina wanted you to wear her bracelet for the rest of the trip. I volunteered to make it happen."

  I pressed my lips together. What the fuck was I going to do with two bracelets and no nice guy to remove them for me? Oh God, I'll probably end up having to give some random stranger head in the middle of the rainforest.

  "Just get Rob to take them off for you."

  He's not speaking to me because I'm a judgmental asshole. "Yeah, maybe."

  "Do you think when James gets mad he's a spanker? I bet he is. I want him to spank me so badly."

  "Stop trying to get him to cheat on his fiancée."

  "Spanking me would not be cheating. His palm on my bare ass would be anything but wrong. I want to make him angry again today."

  "You're so weird."

  She laughed. "I just want what I want. Speaking of which...do you still want Rob? We can be each other's wingmen today."

  "I don't know. I told him some of my concerns about his brother and he freaked out. I think it's better if I just avoid him for the rest of our trip."

  "That's going to be kind of hard."

  "Why?"

  "They all signed up to come zip lining with us."

  Chapter 26

  Rob

  "We should probably get going," Mason said. "The zip lining tour starts in half an hour."

  "Is it okay if I just spend the day here?" James asked. "I have a headache from Matt drugging me last night."

  Matt laughed. "You said you forgave me."

  James smiled. "I do forgive you. It doesn't mean I don't feel like shit this morning though. Besides, I've never been zip lining, and neither has Penny. I want our first time to be together."