Manage Me (Toven's Circus #1)

by Marlowe Fox

  “Hello? Mom? Dad?” I call out slamming the door. “Hey we gotta go! Where is everyone?” Feet thunder down the stairs, my nephew, Jax, crashes down them, jumping the last three and grabbing me in a huge hug. He’s grown so much in the last year that he’s now eye to eye with me. He’s wiry still and now that he’s lifting for football, he’s starting to fill out some more but when he opens his mouth I am truly shocked.

  “Jay! When can I come down and hang with you guys?” His voice had dropped several octaves since I saw him last.

  “Wow, Dude, no hi? No, how are you Jay? No, I’ve missed you?” I chuckle, throwing my arm around his neck to pull him into a headlock. He starts to jump around fighting to get out of the hold. I am able to hold on but just barely. The kids starting to get strong and going to be kicking my ass pretty soon.

  “Okay, Hi, how are you, I missed you, now let the hell go!” laughing I let him go.

  “How is football practice going?” I ask.

  “Fucking awesome. They have me playing receiver and safety. So I’m on the field most of the time but I like it. Keeps me from getting bored, you know.”

  “That’s dope Dude! I’m so proud of you. When does the season start? I want to be here for your first game.”

  “Two weeks from today.” He beams.

  “I’ll be there, the whole band will be. Promise.” I say, pulling him in for a tight hug. I’m so damn proud of this kid, he the greatest teenager I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting and I consider myself lucky that I also happen to be related to him. “Let’s go find everyone else, yeah?” I let him go, pushing him behind me so I can go into the kitchen first. My Dad sitting at the large island with my brother, Rook and his wife, Keesha.

  "Hey Dad," I say as he stands and gives me a big huge.

  "Jay! Great to have you home!" He says pulling back but keeping his hands on my shoulders.

  "We couldn't wait to come home. I'm thinking of buying a house up here after this tour is over."

  "Good, it's time my boy comes home." Pulling me in for another tight hug. "Your Mom is going to be so damn thrilled. Just don't let her fucking move you in next door." He laughs and slaps my shoulder before sitting back down.

  "Not going to happen. But let's not tell her yet. I want to surprise her." I say and head for Keesha, wrapping her up tightly in my arms, smelling her hair, being totally creepy, "Keesha baby, when are you going to dump this loser and run away with me?" Before she can answer, I'm grabbed by the scruff on my neck, and yanked backwards slammed against the refrigerator by a growling Rook.

  "Hey Bro, didn't see you there." I laugh.

  "5 seconds and I already want to kill you.” He growls in my face before pulling me in for a hug. “Welcome home little brother. Don't fucking touch my woman or I'll break your fingers.”

  Keesha comes over and pats my shoulder. "We've missed you, Jay, but you’re going to cause Rook to have a heart attack one day."

  "Fuck woman, I'm not that old." he grumbles.

  "You will always be way older than us, cradle robber." Rook is 15 years older than me, 10 older than Keesha, and I never let him forget it. Our parents had Rook shortly after they got married and tried again for several years after to get pregnant but with no luck. Doctors said that it just wasn't possible for them to have anymore. They were devastated but at least they had Rook. Then surprise, 15 years later, mom kept getting sick and finally went to the doctor and they were pregnant again. 9 months later the awesomeness that is me was graced upon this earth.

  "Fuck you, asshole, at least I have a hot wife." He grunts tugging Keesha to his side.

  "Yeah, ya do." I say checking her out and getting punched in the gut for my efforts.

  "Rook! Don't hit your brother!" Comes Mom’s voice as she rounds the corner. She heads straight for me and grabs my face in her soft warm hands then just looks at me. "I've missed you, kid."

  "Missed you, too, Mom." I say, folding her up in a tight hug.

  Chapter 18

  Nell

  Gemma’s plane has landed and I’m there anxiously waiting. I need my best friend after the crap day I’ve had. I have to wait at the end of the TSA security section, which is the closest they let you get despite what movies show. When I see her tiny dark head bobbing along, I make a dash for it. Racing past the ominous “Do Not Cross” yellow tape and full on tackling my bestie up in a giant hug that nearly takes us both down. Gemma knows I am not a hugger but doesn’t ask me any questions, just lets me hang onto her until I am ready to let go.

  “Do we have time for food?” she asks and I nod.

  We head out to the town car and tell the driver to find us a great burger place. 15 minutes later we pull up to a tiny burger bar in the Hollywood District. We go inside and order our fat and grease on a bun, while I spill out everything that happened since I saw her.

  “Fuck, Nell, you really know how to step in it.” She pauses and I groan out my agreement. ”On a motorbike, really?”

  “Damn it, Gemma, he has a girlfriend!”

  “I know, I know, bu…”

  “No buts!”

  “All right, no buts. However, you could still give me details.” She grins while I shake my head at her.

  “Oh look, we don’t have time. Let go.”

  *********************************

  I’ve never been to a Toven’s show before, and despite everything that happened earlier, I am looking forward to watching from the wings. Jaden’s family and Emily are up in a private box. I was able to avoid meeting his family for tonight. I stand waiting in the dark with the rest of the audience. The stage is shaped like an enormous T, with the long extension going out into the crowd. There are three enormous screens hanging above that are hooked up to several cameras throughout the Rose Garden. Giving the people in the nosebleed seats a chance to see the action. Gemma has a handheld and will be down in-between the stage and the cattle guards, shooting footage.

  Ryker is on stage first at his keyboard, the spot light illuminates him, and he plays a haunting melody, his guitar slung on his back. The crowd starts to clap slowly along with the beat when Finn’s drums kick in, slow at first then steadily increasing. Ryker steps back from the keyboard, lifting his guitar, replacing the haunting rhythm by making the strings screech out his bidding.

  As Jaden’s head can be seen rising up from below at the end of the T, the crazed crowd goes even more insane. Grabbing the mic with both hands from the stand in front of him, he lets out a guttural growl, straining his body back, as if the sound is forcing its way out of him. As the lyrics pour out of Jaden, I can’t pull my eyes away from him. He switches between the growls and cries making the song sound beautifully agonizing. He puts all of himself into the music, closing his eyes, griping the mic close, and using his whole body to power through the notes and emotion.

  At the chorus, Ryker and Ashton jump in lending their own voices, and Jaden releases another feral cry. The intonation resembling the gritty howls of a demon as it tries to escape his confinement. Rykers guitar drops out in the next verse when he grabs the mic and starts spitting lyrics with his agile tongue. Jumping on a speaker up front, Jaden roars out the chorus once more.

  The crowd hangs on every note released into the huge arena. Mosh pits litter the floor area, with kids bashing and thrashing around and against each other. As the sea of people start to move together, it becomes intrinsic. The sea rolls and breaks as thousands become one. The fans sing along with every word, pushing and reaching to get closer to these God’s they worship. As they sing their hearts out along with Jaden, goose bumps explode through my body at the beautiful moment of unity brought together by these four incredible musicians.

  When Ryker takes over the song again, Jaden walks over to Finns drum kit grabbing a water bottle, taking a huge swig. His eyes meet mine, causing my insides to twist and squirm, the electricity in the air escalates. He throws a grin at me and turns the water bottle over his head. The water runs its way down his face, off his chin ma
king his shirt wet and cling to his muscular chest. He shoots me one more grin, knowing my thoughts, before diving back into the song.

  As Jaden let’s go of another deafening scream, the lights hit his wet skin, glistening along his straining neck muscles. My tongue dries up in protest, for not being allowed to lick the water off. When he whips his wet shirt off, using it to wipe his face, I draw in a heated gasp and my jaw drops open. That is until I am hit in the face with something dark and wet. The shirt quickly drops into my waiting hands. Jaden lets out a laugh mid-lyric but keeps going. I tuck the shirt into my back pocket, fuck yeah I am keeping it, Snow-Bitch be damned.

  As they move into the older harder tempo songs, bodies are suddenly being pitched above the crowds’ heads. Lifted and moved as the brave surf along the trusting hands of their peers. They ride along until they are dropped into the burley arms of the security guards arms that stand between the cattle guards and the stage. I see Gemma scurrying to avoid being crushed by falling bodies. Ryker sweeps out of nowhere, reaching out a hand to help pull her on stage, and away from danger. He quickly gets back to playing like nothing happened. Gemma films around on the stage making sure to get plenty of good shots of the rolling crowds.

  Mid-way through the show, Jaden holds his hands up calling attention to the crowd, “Okay Portland, I want to try something, and as this is our home and the raddest bunch of fucking fans, I think this is a good place to start.” Jaden calls out to the crowd. “Okay, okay, I need everyone to calm the fuck down for this to work.” He laughs and pauses, giving them a minute to settle. “Does anyone in here know the drumming for our song, A Fistful of Madness?” 10-15 hands raise and Jaden points to a small blonde girl, standing back a few rows from the front. A security guard leans out and the people around her help her out of pit and on to the stage. She is a tiny thing with an enormous grin on her face. Finn waves her back behind his set and they start chatting.

  “Okay, now we need someone who knows the guitar and bass parts.” Ryker says, causing more hands to raise. Jaden picks a couple guys at random and moves on to fill his space in the band while they make their way up to the stage.

  “Alright Portland, we saved the best for last, who wants to come up here a sing with me?” The whole place erupts once more and Jaden points out a young tall lanky guy.

  “Portland has always been a place that musicians gravitate too and it’s important to support your local music. We thought that it would be fun to get some talent up here tonight to share the stage with us. So with that said, here is A Fistful of Madness.”

  The little blonde smacks her sticks together counting out the beat before she starts wailing on the drums. The two guys on bass and guitar jump in, followed by Jaden and the lanky guy. The song isn’t as tight but the crowds is loving every second as if the band was playing, and the kids on stage would never forget this night for as long as they lived.

  With the song coming to an end, the singer’s eyes are glistening. Jaden must have seen them, too, because he tosses his arm over the kids shoulder as they both scream out the final notes of the song. I grab the stack of tour shirts off the speaker and backstage lanyards then walk on stage to hand them out to the kids, who are all excitedly giving the band members hugs. After finishing, I start to make my way back off stage when Jaden grabs my hand.

  “Portland! We would like to introduce you to our new tour manager. Pulling those guys up on stage to play was all her idea,” He pauses as the screaming has become so loud no one can hear anything. “And I admit, I wasn’t so sure about her at first,” he gives me a big smirking grin, eyes twinkling, and suggesting. “But she is turning out to be pretty fucking incredible.”

  “Plus she is fucking hot!” Ryker pitches in causing Jaden to laugh and the male, and some female, members of the audience to yell in agreement. I feel the heat in my cheeks and my pull hands over my face in embarrassment. Jaden wraps an arm around my shoulder still laughing.

  “Yeah she is,” he agrees with a chuckle and a squeeze. “Say hi to our beautiful fans, Nell!” Dropping my hands, I glare at him, and I say a quick raspy hello to the audience.

  “Her voice is pretty sexy, too,” Finn chimes in. I quickly wave to the crowd, wrestle out from under Jaden’s hold, and haul my ass off stage.

  Chapter 19

  Jaden

  The band played for another full hour before performing three encores. We would have played all night if the venue would’ve let us. Coming off stage, I’m always buzzing with energy until the adrenaline crashes and I just want to sleep. I look around for Nell but don’t know where she ran off to. I head towards the dressing room and the showers. But another blonde is heading my way.

  “Babe, that was so cool!” Emily gushes and I wince.

  “Thanks. It was nice of you to come to the show tonight but I have to take a shower and meet up with my family before they head home.” I say trying to walk around her but she latches on to my arm.

  “Jaden I want to talk more about our bab…”

  “Shhh…fuck, someone might here you.” I whisper shout at her, and pull my hair in frustration. “I’ll meet up with you tomorrow. I’ll text you when and where.” I grind out between my clinched teeth, her face falls, and tears shimmer but at the moment I really don’t have patience for this shit.

  “You don’t want to hang out with us?” She whimpers, tears falling over, and sliding down her pale cheeks.

  “Us? What? No! I told you I have to meet up with my family tonight. I’ll meet up with you in the morning and we will talk.” I bite out at my wits end.

  “Fine! You are a selfish child. You made this mess, now you won’t even talk to me and help me figure out what to do! Fuck you, Jaden James!” She screams and stomps off toward the exit.

  “Uh, Jaden, is everything okay?” I spin around at my father’s voice, the blood rushing out of my face. Fuck I don’t want them to know anything yet. Standing together in a group is my whole damn family, all looking at me waiting for an explanation.

  “That depends on how much you’re heard.” I joke trying to make light of it.

  “Are you in some kind of trouble with that girl, Baby?” Asks my mom, her blue eyes large and fearful. I wince at her choice of endearment, despite her always using it with me, it’s not the best timing.

  “No, everything is fine.” I lie, I hate lying and make an effort never to lie to anyone but this is for their own good for right now. “She and I hooked up before but I told her no more. I’ve started kinda seeing someone, someone I really fucking like. She didn’t like hearing that.” Not a full lie at least.

  “Oh Jaden, really!? It’s about time!” My mom says throwing herself into my arms.

  “Was it the hot tour manage you embarrassed on stage?” asks Rook who receives a smack in the stomach from Keesha. “What?” He asks innocently.

  “You know what.” She tell him and turns to me. “It was, wasn’t it? We could see the sparks from our box.”

  And fuck me, a blush washes over my face. I don’t think I have blushed since puberty but I do admitting my feelings for Nell to my family. “Yeah, that was her, she’s fucking incredible.” I say with a big goofy smile.

  “Oh our Baby is in Love, Nate!” My mom shouts and again I’m frantically shushing a loud ass woman.

  “Stop, I know you’re excited but she could be lurking around anywhere. And I’d like to be the one to tell her, not my mother.” Fuck, I love her. It’s fast but I don’t care. I know, I knew the second I laid eyes on her. My smile grew and my heart swells while I stand in front of my family realizing I have finally found the woman I will love for the rest of my life. I know I need to clear up the issue about Emily with her. She probably thinks I have something going on with her but I will be as honest as I can about it. I know there is so much more I need to learn about her, memories she keeps locked away about her childhood, but now that I have found her, we have the rest of our life to figure that out.

  “I think he’s been struck stupid.”
Cracks Rook.

  “Like you were any better when you realized you were in love with your Keesha here.” My dad fires back in my defense, bringing me back to my senses.

  “Yeah, Asswipe, you were floating around with hearts in your eyes for a week before you got up the balls to tell her how you felt.” I laugh.

  “Fuck you, Nippledick.” Rook grumbles pulling Keesha to him like a shield.

  “I think it’s wonderful.” My mom sighs, a big smile matching my own. “Bring her to dinner tomorrow, okay?”

  “Planning on it. She doesn’t have a good family life, so she’s a bit skittish but I’ll get her there. Just try not to freak her out.” I tell her.