Manage Me (Toven's Circus #1)

by Marlowe Fox

  Nell

  I know he wanted to marry me but I wasn’t expecting him to be planning from the second his feet hit the floor. But he fucks me stupid and pats me on the ass, then climbs out of bed saying, not to worry about anything but the dress. That he’s got it. I think I should be upset that he’s become all, take lead and Mr. Bossy on OUR wedding but I’m not. I’ve never put much thought into getting married, even as a child I didn’t have dolls or Barbie’s. I wasn’t allowed to play dress up in my Mom’s clothes and fantasize about what my wedding would be like some day. So Jaden wanting to take the lead doesn’t bother me.

  ******************************************

  It takes him three days to arrange and planning the entire wedding and I know nothing except the following; Gemma is my Maid of Honor, Ashton is my one bridesmaid, and the dresses the three of us are wearing. That’s it.

  Finding dresses that Ashton and Gemma would agree on, proved to be harder than I thought but we all eventually landed on, a chiffon A-line style that has a black silk sash and stops just above the knee. They are in a beautiful bright marine blue color that matches some of the reefs in Bali.

  I found my perfect dress in the first shop that Gemma, Ashton, and I walked into. A beautiful and simple tulle and lace style with a sweetheart neckline, empire waist, cape sleeves, and a sweeping train in a lovely dark taupe color. It’s just different enough to be perfect. Leaving my hair a mess of curls and my make-up simple with red lips, it’s finally time to put on the dress. Standing there looking at the dressing hanging on its hook, I can’t help but think of how quick all this is happening but I don’t doubt my feeling for Jaden or his for me. I know today will just be one of many amazing days we will celebrate together, that this is just the beginning of our journey together.

  “You ready, my Love?” Gemma asks coming up behind me and brushing her hand across my shoulders.

  “Yeah.” I say, a huge grin breaking out across my face. We wrangle the dress on, it goes on easier then Ashton’s leather pants. Gemma mans the silk ties in the back that give it a corset look, a look I know Jaden loves. When all that is left is my shoes, there is a knock at the door.

  “Can I come in and see my soon-to-be-daughter now?” Comes Elle’s muffled voice through the door before its pushed own and she sweeps in. Her plum purple wrap dress flowing in behind her making her lovely green eyes pop with color. Fresh pink plumerias hold back her dark hair on one side, letting the rest tumble down her shoulders.

  “Oh my…Sweetheart, don’t you just look stunning. Our guys, going to pass out when he sees you.” She says as she makes her way over to me. Her whole face lite up and beaming.

  “Thank you, Mom.” I say pulling her close. She is such a comfort to me, the mother I’ve always wished for and it’s been so wonderful getting to know her and the rest of the family over the last few weeks. Jaden was right when he said that they would accept me because he loves me, but I didn’t expect to love them like they were my own, the family that I had always dreamed about.

  “This is for you.” She says as she pulls back. She hold out her hand, and in her palm rests a white and blue enamel swallow with diamonds sitting on its head and running along its outstretched wings and tail. ‘I thought that this could be your something blue.’ She grins.

  “Oh, it’s perfect!” I gush as we pin in to the dress, right over my heart. I give her another big hug. ‘I love it, really, thank you so much.’

  “Good, I figured the swallow was a good symbol. Sailors get them tattooed because they are a symbol of home. When they are out on deployment they sometime don’t see land for weeks, but when they start to see the swallows, they know they are getting close. You, Nell, are Jaden’s home, wherever you two end up in this world, you will always be his home.” Tears glistening in her eyes, she gives me a big hug, while I weep into her shoulder.

  She stays to help me fix my make-up and put on the delicate vintage lace vial, my something old. A tradition I didn’t really care for one way or another but it’s a gift from Gemma and Ashton, they found it in an antique shop, and stepping back to look in the mirror, I agree that it makes everything come together.

  As the three of them stand together dabbing at tears, emotion overwhelms me and panic seizes me. These people all mean so much to me and I came so close to losing them all before I even got to really know them. A sharp pain spikes though my chest and a strangled cry escapes. They race forward catching me as I start to sink to me knees.

  “Nell, Sweets, what’s going on? Are you okay? Is it the baby?” Comes Gemma’s panicked voice, as I gasp for air. ‘Get Jaden!’

  I’m vaguely aware that I am now sitting, someone is pushing my head down towards me knees. My eye sight has blacken, either from lack of oxygen or the panic, I am not sure but the new angle is forcing me to breath deeper, so I don’t struggle and just breath.

  “Darling, can you hear me?” Gemma says softly. Her face close to mine, she sits on the floor in her pretty dress. I furiously blink, my vision clearing and I refocus on her worried face.

  “Yes.” I nod but just then there is a huge crash outside the door and a whole new panic over take me. ‘No! Jaden can’t see me, its bad luck!!’ I shriek, jumping to my feet. “I’m fine, I was just having a moment.”

  “J, No she is fine.” I hear Ashton arguing with him from the door.

  “BEAUTY?! “ He yells past her, pounding on the door. “Beauty, Baby, answer me!!” He shouts and I make my way over to the door but stay behind it.

  The door is cracked open a few inches and his hand is tightly wrapped around the edge, his knuckles are white from gripping it so hard. Ashton has wedged the side of her foot under the door to keep him out, but I know if he doesn’t calm down, he’s going to plow through both the door and her poor foot.

  Stepping up behind the door, I reach my hand up to grasp his wrist. ‘Jaden, I’m fine. Just had an emotional moment. I promise you, I’m okay.’ I say.

  “What do you mean by an emotional moment?” He growls, letting the door go and latching onto my arm tugging me closer but keeping the door between us.

  “Baby hormones might have played a role in it, and how amazing our family is to us.” I say softly and hear him laugh and his head thump against the wood door.

  “Fuck, I thought you were having second thoughts or something.” He says and I feel his face nuzzle into the palm of my hand. He’s trimmed up his short beard but not much knowing how much I like it. ‘Fuck that scared me.’ His lips press into the pad of my thumb and then he bites it lightly.

  “Not even a flutter of a second thought. I mean shit, you did knock me up. Where the hell am I going to go?” I joke and grin when I hear him bark out a laugh.

  “Yeah, I did. Hope you don’t mind having 100 kids cause I like you knocked up and you are going fucking nowhere but by my side forever.” He says and I can tell by his tone that, that smirk is back. The smirk that started this all. I was a fool to try to convince myself that I hated it. I was a putty from the first one. But falling for Jaden has been the best thing that I could have ever done in my life and I plan on spending every day for the next 100 years loving him for loving me.

  “Are you ready to marry me?” I ask brushing my hand along his jaw, loving the scrap of his scruff against the smooth skin.

  “Beauty, I was ready three months ago.” He says.

  The End

  Watch out for Finn and Ashtons’s story,

  See Me, coming in 2016.

  Acknowledgements

  Thank you to my wonderful fiancé and son for putting up with the later dinners and messy house while I was trying to get this book done. This mattered to me so you let it go but I know it had to of been driving you crazy. The fiancé, thank you so much for everything that you have done, for working so hard every day, so I can do what I love.

  Love you both past the moon!

  To Samantha Wiley and Jess Bee, my awesome editor and proofreaders, you two are so wonderful and saved my ass.
Thank you so much. I will never be able to thank you enough for all of your help.

  Thank you Darren Birks for the beautiful photos. You have a wonderful talent and are just a great person. Don’t ever change.

  To my Lovey Rachel Perlaki. You have become such a dear friend, beyond just my PA and CP for this book, I really truly see you as a lifelong friend. Thank you for everything that you do for me, including kicking my butt when needed.

  To Sue Sebastian, my CP and my voice of sanity in this crazy indie world. Your friendship means the world to me. I am so grateful to have someone to go through all this with, someone who gets it. Thank you for always being there and for always being honest. Never lose that honesty! <3

  To my very first Stalker Sierra Farris! You Darlin’ are the best, I couldn’t do many of the things I have without you and now you’re totally stuck with me.

  To my bestie, Tara Kitchens. We have literally been friends forever and while we couldn’t be more different, we have always fiercely stood by each other and I love you so much. Thank you for being in my life.

  To my Foxy Fox’s, thank you for Pimping and helping out whenever you could.

  You ladies are the best, I love chatting with you and getting to know you. Thank you so much for your support.

  About The Author

  Marlowe has been many things in life but always falls back to the artistic things that she loves so much, one of those being writing. For the last two and half years, she has been a stay at home mom, raising her awesome son and one day decided to start a story that had been spinning in her head. She lives in Spokane, WA with her Fiancé, son, 2 dogs, and hedgehog named Oswald.

  Where to find Marlowe Fox

  Email: AuthorMarloweFox@gmail.com

  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorMarloweFox

  Website: http://www.MarloweFox.com