Rodeo Regrets

by Shannon Taylor Vannatter

  The bell above the entrance jingled. From her spot near the register, she could barely see around the racks as a woman carrying a small girl managed the obstacle course.

  “Welcome to The Sassy Cowgirl/Rowdy Cowboy. May I help you?” Caitlyn asked.

  “We need new boots and we thought Aunt Cait was the perfect person to come to.” The woman stepped into view with Hannah in her arms.

  Natalie gasped. The woman who’d been with Wyatt at the wedding.

  “Oh, I didn’t realize that was you.” Caitlyn’s eyes widened and she reached for the little girl. “Hey, sweetpea.”

  “Me want pink.” Hannah proclaimed.

  Caitlyn stepped around a rack and shot Natalie a get-lost glare. “Well, let’s see what we can find.”

  Natalie’s gaze glued itself to Hannah’s dark hair, which was braided in pigtails with a pink bow in each. The little girl’s blue eyes mesmerized her, and Natalie’s stomach took a dive. Her arms ached to hold her little girl. The reason she’d stayed away so long. Because she’d known if she actually saw Hannah, she’d never be the same.

  Caitlyn zigged between two round racks, then zagged past another. “Excuse the mess, Star, but I’m rearranging some things. We’ll be getting lots of new lines in a few days.”

  Star. How serious were she and Wyatt?

  “These are pretty.” Star grabbed a pair of lavender boots from the shelf.

  “Me want pink.” Hannah shook her head.

  She definitely had her own opinion.

  “I like pink, too. How about this?” Caitlyn nabbed a tiny pink pair.

  Hannah’s eyes lit up. “Pwetty.”

  Star put the lavender boots back.

  “These were going on the clearance rack.” Caitlyn wiggled the boots onto Hannah’s feet. “I’ll give you twenty-five percent off if they fit.”

  “You don’t have to do that. Just treat us like any other customer.”

  “I need to move some merchandise, so it’s no problem.” Caitlyn set Hannah down and gently mashed the toe of each boot. “Plenty of growing room. Walk around and make sure they fit.”

  Hannah walked the aisle toward Natalie with a shy smile.

  Her heart took another dive.

  “How do they feel? Do they hurt anywhere?” Star hovered.

  “They feel pwetty.”

  “Great.” Caitlyn stepped over to the cash register and shot Natalie a why-are-you-still-here frown. She rang up the purchase and quoted the total.

  Star hugged Hannah. “Since they’re on sale, do you want a dress, too, Hannah?”

  Ingratiating herself into Hannah’s life by spoiling her. Natalie sank to the stool behind the register.

  Hannah pointed to a pink frilly concoction. “This one.”

  “Very pretty. You have excellent taste.” Star sifted through the rack, found the right size and set the dress on the counter. Her gaze shifted to Natalie and recognition dawned in her eyes. Star clamped her hand to her heart. “Oh. I didn’t see you.”

  Caitlyn acted as if everything was fine. She scanned the dress and accepted the debit card Star handed her.

  Natalie focused on the card and read the name imprinted on the shiny surface.

  Star Marshall.

  Natalie closed her eyes. Wyatt Marshall had married. Her daughter was being raised by another woman.

  Caitlyn completed the transaction. “You still bringing Hannah over tomorrow evening?”

  “We are. Hannah’s excited about it.” Star signed the receipt and looked up at Natalie. “You won’t be—”

  “No.” Caitlyn shook her head. “Natalie won’t be there. We’d definitely check with Wyatt on anything like that.” Caitlyn pressed a kiss on Hannah’s forehead. “See you then, Hannah. Bye-bye, sweetpea.”

  “I think we’re just in time to watch the cattle drive before lunch.” Star walked toward the door, but Hannah stared back at Natalie over Star’s shoulder.

  The bell jingled and the door shut behind them.

  “You okay?” Caitlyn touched her shoulder. “When did you figure out who she was?”

  “It’s not the first time I’ve seen her. I crashed Lacie’s wedding last week.” Her eyes locked with Caitlyn’s. “Why didn’t you tell me Wyatt got married?”

  “I figured it would only upset you.”

  “You see her?” Natalie’s voice cracked. “Often?”

  “Star brings her by Mom and Dad’s a couple of times a week for a visit. Hannah calls them Grammy and Grand. She’s a doll.”

  “Yes, she is.” A doll Natalie could never hold.

  * * *

  Big breath. In and out. Calm, cool, collected. Natalie sashayed her hips in perfect, practiced rhythm as the heels of her fringed aqua boots clicked off each step across the brick-lined street. Thank goodness her ankle had recovered over the last week. She never thought she’d set foot in the Fort Worth Stockyards again. At least she wasn’t limping in.

  But it was her job now. An endless lineup of Friday- and Saturday-night rodeos. She wouldn’t have to attend every one, but she had to frequent Cowtown Coliseum to get a feel for publicity angles. And she’d need to pop in regularly to survey the crowd, watch for an increase or decline in numbers once her plan was in place.

  Besides, Wyatt would be here. Maybe she could talk sense into him. Maybe he and Star would have Hannah with them.

  She shook her head. What was she thinking? He wouldn’t bring Hannah to the rodeo. Not until she was older. Natalie hugged herself.

  At the entrance of the Coliseum, she paused. Took one more deep breath. She showed her staff pass to the man at the door and stepped inside the lobby.

  “Nat?” Lane called from directly behind her.

  She turned around slowly. “Lane.” His name came out all breathy. She clenched her teeth. “It’s Natalie. Not Nat.” He’d lost the right to call her by a nickname.

  “Sorry.” He held both palms toward her. “You look great.”

  “Thanks.” At least he was right on that. Much better than the disaster she’d been at his house last week. In aqua, sparkly and curvy from head to toe, she was dressed to attract the perfect cowboy.

  But not this one. His dark hair winged out from under his gray cowboy hat, begging her fingers to smooth it into place. “Why are you here?”

  “I’m the new pickup man.”

  She arched her left brow at him. Was that some kind of line?

  “For the broncs and bulls.”

  Oh. Rodeo. Why did his presence freeze her brain?

  “You coming in?”

  “I need something to drink first.” A beer. Her stomach turned. She needed to keep a clear head anyway, so she’d get a tea, instead. She headed to the concession stand.

  “I’m glad we’re both back home.” He matched her stride. “Maybe we could have dinner sometime?”

  Her steps stalled. “Why?”

  “I don’t know. For old times’ sake.”

  “Old times’ sake is something you want to remember. I think I’ll pass.” She strode away, head held high.

  At the concession stand, she leaned on the counter for support. Don’t follow me. Don’t follow me. Don’t follow me.

  She got her tea and turned around. No sign of him. She hurried inside the arena.

  And smack into a hard chest.

  * * *

  “Whoa. Easy there, cowgirl.” Lane’s arms felt at home—around Natalie.

  She jerked away from him. Fire blazed in her blue eyes.

  “Just trying to make sure you don’t fall for me.” He shot her his most charming grin.

  But it came nowhere near extinguishing the flare of her temper. His fingers itched to touch her long, dark hair. He shoved his hands in his pockets.


  “Just stay out of my way.” She sidestepped him and stalked around the walled walkway of the arena.

  She was even more beautiful than she’d been nine years before. A woman instead of a girl. A woman who obviously regretted her past with him.

  As he did. She’d been the only girl who’d ever told him no. Until he’d finally worn down her resistance. She’d given him everything, and he’d broken up with her. Used her and moved on to the next willing girl. He’d been such a jerk back then. If only he could have a do-over.

  Since he’d become a Christian he regretted all the women in his past, even though they’d been willing. But Natalie had given in only because he’d pressured her. Somehow, hurting her had always haunted him, even before he knew Christ.

  Natalie stopped at a box seat near the bull chutes and spoke to a cowboy. Lane was too far away to tell who the guy was, but his heart gave a painful lurch.

  Jealousy? Why? He hadn’t seen her since high school. He wanted her to be happy.

  But with him, not some other guy.

  Stars shot off in his head.

  He loved her.

  The vivid blue eyes that reached into his soul. Her laughter and sense of fun. The vulnerability she tried so hard not to let show.

  He’d always loved her. That’s why he’d regretted hurting her. That’s why he’d broken up with her. Because she was the only one who touched his heart, and back then it scared the life right out of him.

  Brain on the rodeo. He forced his gaze away from Natalie and hurried toward the arena. But as he neared the box seats by the gate, a woman stood up and tried to squeeze between Natalie and the glaring cowboy. Wyatt and Star.

  * * *

  “You could have at least told me you were getting married.” Natalie’s voice shook. “Especially when it affects our daughter.”

  “The daughter you didn’t want.” Wyatt’s words cut through her heart. “The daughter you wanted to abort. The daughter you gave up.”

  “Please. Not here.” Star pressed a hand against Wyatt’s arm. “Can’t we discuss this calmly and in private?”

  “It’s not my doing.” Wyatt splayed both hands. “Natalie’s the one that always has to make a scene.”

  Natalie rolled her eyes. “If I’d have stopped by or called, where would that have gotten me? I have to try to talk some sense into you whenever I get the chance.” She counted to ten. “She’s still my daughter. And I should know about any big changes in her life. Like her father getting married and some other woman raising her.”

  “Another woman has raised her from the beginning,” Wyatt growled. “My sister, my mom, even Caitlyn—up until Star and I married. You wouldn’t even look at Hannah in the hospital, so why should you care?”

  Natalie’s eyes stung. “Well, I’ve seen her now, and I do care.”

  “You don’t have any rights to her, Natalie. You signed all rights over to me. So whatever happens in Hannah’s life is no concern of yours.”

  “Let’s meet somewhere and talk.” Star again. In her sweet little voice. “In a few days, after everyone calms down.”

  Could anyone really be that nice? Maybe it was an act.

  “There’s no reason to meet about anything.” Wyatt clamped his cowboy hat on his head. “Star adopted Hannah. Star is Hannah’s mother, legally and in our hearts. So just go back to Garland and leave us alone.”

  Her heart lurched. She scanned Star. Her daughter’s mother? How could another woman adopt Hannah without Natalie even knowing about it?

  “She’s my daughter. Even though you found a pale imitation of me to play house with.” She delivered the jab in a stone-cold tone.

  Star’s sweet little mouth dropped open. “Were you attracted to me ’cause I look like her?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” Wyatt drew Star against his side. “Trust me, dark hair and blue eyes are the only thing y’all have in common.”

  Natalie’s heart sank. She’d meant to hurt Wyatt. Not Star.

  “Natalie. You all right?” Lane asked, from over her shoulder.

  Why did he keep sneaking up on her?

  Her vision blurred. She had to get away. Before the tears fell. She whirled around and sidestepped him, then bolted around the arena and through the lobby.

  “Natalie, wait!” Lane called.

  Don’t follow me. Don’t follow me. Don’t follow me.

  * * *

  The bright sunshine momentarily blinded Lane, but he caught up with her. She was quick, but no match for his longer legs.

  “Leave me alone.” Natalie snapped.

  “Not when you’re upset.” His stride matched her shorter one.

  “I’m fine.”

  He turned her to face him. “No, you’re not. I wish I didn’t have a rodeo to work so I could take you home.”

  “I can drive.”

  “At least sit down a minute. Let’s get you calmed down before you get behind the wheel.” He led her to a wooden bench between the Coliseum and the fake bull ride.

  “You’ll be late for your rodeo.” She sank onto the seat.

  Lane checked his watch and settled beside her. “I’ve got time.” Not much, but he couldn’t leave her like this. “Wanna talk about it?”

  “No.”

  He fished a tissue out of his shirt pocket.

  “Thanks.” She swiped at her eyes and blew her nose.

  Completely vulnerable. Had she been hurt like this when he’d broken up with her?

  “Come here.” He reached for her.

  She scooted away. “I’m fine.”

  “Yeah, I’ve seen your fine before.”

  Her laugh came out watery. “Couldn’t you at least leave me the dignity of only seeing me when I look presentable, so you can at least regret dumping me?”

  He laughed. “Trust me. I do regret that.” And she still looked hot. Even hotter without her tough shell.

  “Good.”

  “I take it Wyatt’s an ex-flame?”

  “It was nothing.”

  He tipped her chin up with gentle fingertips. “This looks like something.”

  “It’s not about him. Trust me.” She dabbed her eyes. “I’m okay now.”

  “You sure?”

  “Positive. Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

  “I’m different, Nat. I’m not the jerk I used to be. I’m a Christian now. I only want to help you. Maybe you could come to church with me sometime.”

  She snorted. “Aren’t you the guy who pressured me into sex when I was sixteen? And now you’re some Holy Roller?”

  Her words stabbed his heart. That’s probably how it looked to her. “I’m not a Holy Roller, just a sinner saved by grace.”

  “Whatever.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Why do you do that?”

  “What?”

  “Lash out when you’re hurt.”

  “Let’s get one thing straight, Holy Roller.” She jabbed a finger in his chest. “You didn’t hurt me. You were nothing to me. A young girl’s fling. Nothing more.”

  The knife twisted in his heart. “Prove it, then. If our past meant nothing, it shouldn’t bother you to have dinner with me tomorrow night.”

  Natalie’s eyes went wide.

  Eyes so big and blue, Lane could drown in them. “Well?”

  Chapter 3

  Natalie closed her eyes. If she said no to dinner, Lane would think she cared. That it bothered her to be near him. “Okay, I’ll go.”

  Lane grinned. “The Cattleman’s Steakhouse, say, five o’clock. I’ll pick you up.”

  “Fine.” She stood, stalked away from him and hurried to her car—trying not to let how he affected her show in each line of her rigid body.

  She could still feel Lane’s a
rms around her. His warmth and strength. She closed her eyes. He was the first and only man she’d ever loved. The first man she’d given herself to. Only to be tossed aside like yesterday’s flavor of the day.

  Why had she agreed to dinner with him tomorrow night? Because he’d caught her at a vulnerable moment? Again. Because she wanted to prove he didn’t matter to her? But he did. He always had.

  She had to get over it. But how?

  An idea occurred to her. It was a shameful idea, she had to admit, but, oh, so tempting. She would seduce him. Knock him off his Christian pedestal and then dump him. Get him out of her system, once and for all, by breaking his heart, just like he’d broken hers.

  She smiled and started the engine.

  * * *

  It was exactly like Mom’s dollhouse Natalie and Caitlyn played with when they were little, a two story with a large pillared porch and a bay window. It was a haven from Lane and all the forgotten feelings he stirred in her.

  Most high school graduates got a used car as a gift from their parents. Some got new cars. Natalie and her sister had gotten life-sized dollhouses that matched their parents’ home, one on each side of their house.

  At least there were some woods in between, so she had a little privacy. Daddy probably regretted that.

  She unlocked the heavy door and slipped her boots off in the entryway.

  “It’s about time.” Mama sat on the white couch in the formal living room.

  So much for privacy. “Hi, Mama.”

  Her mother stood and greeted her with a warm hug. Her long, dark, former-Miss-Texas do was stiff with hairspray. “I’m so glad you’re home.”

  What if she’d brought a cowboy home for the night and found Mama sitting on her couch? Of course, it would have been later, and Mama probably would have given up and gone home by then. Her insides churned, even though she hadn’t brought anyone home in well over two years.

  Her recklessness had embarrassed her parents, yet they’d loved and supported her. Until she got pregnant and lost Daddy. But Mama was still here, loving her.

  “Sorry. I should have waited on the porch until you got here, but I have a key, and I couldn’t wait to hear about your first day. How’d it go at the Stockyards?”