My Heart Says Yes

by Ashley Blake

  Our professor chimed in. “Okay then class, before we get started why don’t we go around the room and quickly introduce yourselves to Mr. Morgan and tell him what it is you think you want to do when you’re done here.”

  We started with the person seated closest to Professor Jansen and Caleb, and each person gave a little bit of info about themselves and they both seemed genuinely interested in hearing what everyone wanted to do. Before I knew it, it was my turn and suddenly I felt very shy and had to remind myself to open my mouth and speak. Caleb’s intense focus on me as he listened to what I was saying seemed to shut everyone else out of the room, and for a couple of minutes I felt that he and I were the only two people there.

  As I finished talking briefly about myself, Caleb asked me a question that he had not asked anyone else.

  “So Miss Blakely, are you from Chicago?”

  You know that I’m not.

  I felt a little bit confused and even embarrassed that he had singled me out, but I knew that I had to answer the question and I didn’t want to make anything awkward for anyone else in class.

  “No, I am from a small town in Wisconsin.” I really hoped that that would put an end to the questions for me and he would move onto the next person, but I was not so lucky.

  “I see, and so how do you like living in a big city compared to your hometown? I can only imagine the culture shock that you must have experienced when you arrived here since there is so much to see and do.”

  He already knows all of this, why is he doing this to me?

  “So far I love Chicago, but I have not had a chance to explore anywhere near all that it has to offer. I hope to remedy that when the school year is over.”

  I was hoping that would appease him and he would move on to the next student.

  “I am sure you will be able to make time to explore the city before the school year is over Ms. Blakely. You wouldn’t want to miss out on the incredible adventures that await you.”

  I felt my cheeks turn bright red as I realized that the whole class was observing our interaction and I saw more than a few eyebrows raise and I knew that they were wondering what was going on between us. Marta leaned over and whispered to me under her breath. “Is there something going on with you two that I don’t know about?”

  I discreetly shook my head and silently begged for him to move on to someone else. I felt like I was going to totally die of embarrassment right there in front of my design class. I realized that I had been holding my breath when I heard myself let out a loud exhale of relief when Caleb moved onto the next student.

  After our introductions we dove into the course material, and Professor Jansen and Caleb gave us our first in class assignment where we all had to work together to create a design for a candy bar campaign. I really liked how we all worked together and I felt totally comfortable once we started focusing on the work and the focus was taken off of me.

  When class was over, Professor Jansen thanked Caleb for the lecture and he walked out of the classroom. Caleb was still gathering his things as students trickled out of the room. I had just finished packing my bag and headed towards the door when Caleb’s voice stopped me.

  “Miss Blakely, I’d like to speak with you for a minute.”

  I saw a couple of students raise their eyebrows as they walked out of class and I could only imagine what they were thinking. Once again, I could feel that my cheeks were bright red. Caleb waited for all of the students to leave the room and then he closed the door. I was livid and to say that my heart was thumping out of my chest was an understatement. His dark eyes surveyed mine and we stood there in silence for at least a full minute. I began to shift uneasily back-and-forth as I felt very uncomfortable under his stare. Caleb lazily scanned my body, leaned back against the wall, gave me a sexy smile and crossed his arms as he held my gaze. “I have missed you.”

  That pissed me off. “No! You don’t get to stand here and give me one of your sexy little grins and think that everything is okay. Why haven’t you called me?”

  “I’m here now aren’t I?”

  I put my hand on my hip and glared at him. “Caleb, I’m serious. Why haven’t I heard from you since the night I had sex with you? Are you in the habit of blowing off girls that you claim that you care so much about?”

  I could see that he was amused at my irritated mood and that made me even more pissed off. This new Emma was becoming more confident each day and it felt good to not feel intimidated by someone like Caleb Morgan. I wanted to show him that I was not just another notch in his belt or another roll in the hay. He was going to respect me and I was going to demand that respect from him, especially since I had been told that he was used to always getting his way. I crossed my arms and looked at him.

  “I’m waiting for your answer Caleb.”

  I could see that he was taken aback by my words and I’m sure he was not used to women who didn’t automatically fall at his feet. Well that was something that I would never do, no matter who the guy was or how attractive he was. My mother had always taught me that the man should chase the woman, not the other way around. So Caleb’s flirtatious ways, while flattering, would never cause me to run after him.

  Caleb looked at me as if he was studying me and after a minute he finally spoke.

  “First, I have to apologize for not calling you, I’m just not used to being accountable to someone. Second, I was swamped with an assignment for school which counts for 70% of our grade, so that stressed me out.”

  “And what, you don’t know how to pick up the phone and call someone that you supposedly care about when you are stressed out? You don’t know how to call someone just to say hello, especially after an incredible night together? Do you have any idea how you made me feel Caleb, how used?”

  His face softened when he saw how upset I was, he took a step toward me and I immediately backed away.

  “Emma, come on, I said I was sorry.”

  I looked at him and held his gaze, and tears stained my eyes as I searched for the right thing to say. “You know what? Right now, sorry is just not good enough. I have to go.” I slung my bag over my shoulder and quickly walked out of the room.

  When I got home Kelly let me cry on her shoulder as I told her about my run in with Caleb earlier that day and his cavalier attitude about the whole thing.

  “Emma, I think it’s great that you didn’t fawn all over him, I’m so sure he is used to that. He’s probably trying to figure out how to get you back because he sees that you’re not the type of girl who will be at his beck and call. Give him time, he’ll be coming after you begging you to take him back, I just know it.”

  I smiled at her through my tears, so grateful that I had such an awesome best friend. “I hope so Kel.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  The next day I slept in and then decided to dive into my schoolwork to get out of my funk. I was deep into learning about designing an ad campaign for lipstick when Kelly knocked on my door. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost 5:00 and the day had totally gotten away from me.

  “Hey, Rena just called and she is having some people over to celebrate the end of some huge project they just completed.”

  “That must be the project that Caleb said he has been so stressed about.”

  "Yeah, that's probably it. I think it sounds like a lot of fun and it would probably be good for you to get out and be around people. You can’t keep your head buried in books forever.”

  Kelly was right, it would be fun to get out and I did need a social break so I agreed to go with her. I knew that Caleb would probably be there and I would have to deal with that, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me from going to have a good time. If he wanted to talk with me he would have to start by giving me an detailed explanation and a proper apology. We got there around 8:30 and a bunch of people were already there. Sophie cornered me the second she saw me and she wanted to know all about what happened with me and Caleb.

  “So, there’s a rumor going arou
nd that you’re dating Caleb Morgan, I want to know all the deets!” Her eyes were like saucers as she held her breath and waited for what I was going to say. But Sophie was going to be waiting for a long time because she was the last person that I would share any personal information with. Sophie was a huge gossip and I had zero tolerance for that.

  “Oh, there’s nothing to tell Sophie, really. Nothing is going on with us.”

  That part was not a lie. I quickly changed the subject and gushed over how much I loved her outfit and she ate it up. We had more shallow dialog and I was getting really bored talking with her, so when I caught Kelly’s eye as she was walking by I gave her the look that I needed to be rescued and she popped on over to us.

  “Sophie, I absolutely love your outfit, you look fantastic. Let’s all go get a drink. Oh, Sophie, you already have a drink so Emma and I are going to go grab one and we will be right back.” Kelly grabbed my arm and pulled me off to the kitchen away from her.

  We were giggling like schoolgirls as we ran into the kitchen to get away from her. “Kelly, you are so bad!”

  “Maybe, but I rescued you didn’t I? We can always go back and talk to her if you want.”

  Kelly pretended to walk back toward Sophie and I grabbed her arm. “No! We’re fine in here.”

  We were still giggling when a male voice interrupted us. “Wow, you ladies seem like you’re having a great time!”

  We turned to see a really good-looking, tall blonde guy smiling at us.

  “Trevor! I had no idea that you knew Rena!” Kelly was all smiles as she gave him a big hug.

  Who is this gorgeous guy? I stood there waiting to be introduced.

  “Trevor, I want you to meet my best friend and roommate Emma.”

  Trevor looked at me with his gorgeous bright blue eyes and smiled as he held out his hand. I reached out and shook his hand and smiled back.

  “Emma, it’s nice to meet you.”

  “You too Trevor.”

  “Do you ladies need a drink?”

  “Um, yeah, that would be great, thanks!” Kelly was awfully chipper and I gave her a sideways glance and raised my eyebrows at her.

  She mouthed, “You should talk to him, he’s really nice.”

  I hesitated for a minute, feeling guilty as I thought of Caleb. But then I scolded myself because he didn’t think of me when he decided to blow me off and not call me for weeks after we had been together that night. So I decided there was no harm in talking to Trevor, and besides, he was really cute.

  Trevor handed us our drinks and then Kelly, not so subtly, made an excuse and left us alone.

  “So, Emma, what do you do?”

  “Doing the portfolio school thing.”

  His eyes searched mine and I knew that look, he was interested in knowing more about me.

  “An aspiring advertising executive, huh? Very nice.”

  “That’s my plan. And you, what do you do?”

  “I’m a grad student with Rena at the Art Institute.”

  “Oh, cool. What do you want to do when you’re done?”

  “My family owns the Stevens Gallery in the West Loop, so I’ll join them.”

  “Wow, that will be nice.” I smiled at him and I noticed that he was just staring at me.

  “I’m sorry that I’m staring, but you have a really great positive energy and you’re very pretty.”

  I felt my cheeks burning at the compliment and I had to admit that it felt really good that someone as attractive as Trevor noticed me. He was the second really good-looking guy to take an interest in me, and to say that it boosted my ego was an understatement.

  “Thank you.”

  We continued to chat for a bit and then he excused himself for a few minutes for a bathroom break. I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and was opening it when I felt someone standing right behind me. I thought it was Trevor and I turned to give him a smile that fell immediately when I saw that it was Caleb. I started to walk away from him when he grabbed my arm.

  I glared at him and looked down at his hand on my arm. “You’re hurting me.”

  He immediately let go and apologized. “Emma, please hear me out.”

  I let out an exasperated sigh. “What Caleb? What could you possibly have to say to me?”

  His eyes were earnest as they held mine and I had to admit that he looked scared. “I screwed up, I know that, and I’m really sorry. It’s just that I’m not used to these feelings that you stirred up inside of me, I didn’t know how to handle it. And then on top of that I was super stressed about my project for school and I tend to retreat when I am stressed or overwhelmed. I know that’s not the mature way to handle things but that is all that I have known and I know that I have to work on that. Can you please give me a second chance?”

  It was all too much and it was hard to think straight because he looked even more gorgeous than ever with his puppy dog eyes that were begging for my forgiveness. But he had really hurt me and I just wasn’t ready to forgive so easily. Just then Trevor walked in and saw us there and I must have looked upset because he quickly walked over to me.

  He gave Caleb a stern look and then gently put his hand on my arm. “Is everything okay in here?”

  Caleb returned his stern look and fire flashed across his eyes as his gaze landed on Trevor’s hand on my arm. I saw the vein on his neck stand out as he clenched his jaw, and then he turned that intense gaze on me.

  “We’re fine Trevor.” Caleb’s words were terse as they escaped through clenched teeth and I could see that he was having a hard time holding his temper. I wondered for a split second how he knew his name but then I realized they must have known each other from school. I had never seen him this jealous, the only time he came close to this was when Jordan showed up unexpectedly at my place.

  I gave Caleb a withering glance and then turned a sweet smile toward Trevor. “Actually, we’re done here. I was just going to come look for you.”

  “Do you want to go in the other room?” Trevor turned all of his attention toward me.

  “Yeah, I’m right behind you.”

  Trevor walked out first and, as I was following him, Caleb grabbed my arm and quickly pulled me toward him and whispered in my ear. “I don’t give up so easily on someone that I want.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “Well, you can’t always have who you want.” I then snatched my arm away and walked out of the kitchen.

  I saw Caleb leave the party shortly after our encounter and I spent the rest of the evening talking with Trevor, trying really hard not to think about Caleb and failing miserably. Even though I was pissed at him, he was the person that I really wanted to be with, so at the end of the night I told Trevor how nice it was to meet him and maybe I would see him around. I could tell he was disappointed but I really didn’t want to lead him on, because my heart was with Caleb and it wouldn’t be fair to start something with Trevor. I cried myself to sleep that night, really wanting to forgive him but my pride was standing in the way. I didn’t know if I would ever be able to trust him after what he did to me, and I was afraid that if I forgave him, he would just do the same thing again.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  The next morning I woke up with a big smile on my face because I had the most awesome dream about Caleb, and then as soon as I realized that it was just a dream my smile fell. I lay there thinking about how it was time for me to move on because I really didn’t think I would ever be able to trust him again, and without trust you have nothing. I decided that it was time for me to go back to my original plan of concentrating on myself and school for the rest of the year. Guys were just too complicated for me right then.

  Kelly slept at David’s place the night before so I was the only one home. I made myself a good breakfast and I curled up on the couch to watch an episode of Gossip Girl that I had taped on the DVR. When it was over I hopped in the shower, got dressed and dove into the books. I had an assignment due at the end of the week that I had barely started.

  At
around 2:00 my phone rang and it was my doorman John downstairs.

  “There is a Caleb Morgan here to see you, Miss Blakely.”

  I instantly froze and could feel my heart banging against my throat.

  “John can you please hand him the phone?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Hello?” Caleb’s deep, sexy voice pierced through the phone line.

  I didn’t let that sway me. “What do you want Caleb?”

  “I need to talk with you Emma.”

  “Just go away, I have nothing to say to you!”

  “I have a lot that I want to say to you. Please, let me explain myself, I’m not going to leave until you come downstairs and I will wait outside of your building all day and all night if I have to.”

  I knew that he was probably serious about waiting outside all day and I didn’t want him to do that, so I grabbed my coat and went downstairs. When my eyes met his I could see the angst there and my heart softened a bit.

  He reached out and lightly touched my arm. “Thanks for coming down.”

  I wanted to throw my arms around him and I wanted everything to be the way it was before he blew me off. I wished so badly that we could just pick up where we left off, but my pride just wouldn’t let me do it.

  I crossed my arms. “Okay, I’m down here and I’m listening. What do you have to say Caleb?”

  “The first thing I want to say is that I am sorry for not calling you after our incredible night together, you did not deserve to be treated that way and it was extremely selfish of me. Emma, I have never felt this way about any girl in my life, you turned my world upside down and it completely took me by surprise. I found myself in unfamiliar territory and I did not know how to deal with my feelings for you because they are so much stronger than I ever imagined. Second, I have always handled stress in a weird way. I retreat from everything and everyone until I have whatever is stressing me out under control, and I know that I have to work on that because that is not fair to the people that I care about. I had a huge project due at school and I also had all of these feelings for you that I didn’t know what to do with, so I just disappeared for a while.”