The One I Love to Hate

by Amanda Weaver

  Jess and Lina exchanged an apprehensive look. “What do you mean?”

  “You know Alex just started working for his dad at ClickNews? Chase was hired on, too. I’m going to go say hi.”

  “Ugh, Chase is working at ClickNews? Why does the bastard have any sort of career whatsoever? There’s no justice.” Lina fumed.

  “What were you just saying about hating someone?”

  “I have a very good reason to hate Chase. You never slept with Alex.”

  Lina was still glaring at Chase across the room, so she missed it when Jess blushed and nearly dropped her beer. Taking a deep swig, Jess fastened her eyes on the floor. It must be the effect of seeing so many faces from college all in one place again. The party, the cold beer bottle in her hand, that pair of beautiful boys across the room...it was all reminding her of the real reason she didn’t like Alex Drake.

  It was true. She’d never slept with Alex. Not quite.

  Chapter Five

  Three years earlier, DeWitt University

  Max Perlman had just thrown up in one of his mother’s Chinese vases. That thing had to be worth a year’s tuition, and now it was nothing more than a receptacle for Max’s beer yak. Nice.

  The DeWitt party scene had never appealed to Jess, but putting her second issue of the school newspaper to bed as editor had left her feeling slightly punch-drunk with exhaustion and in a rare mood to blow off a little steam. It was the only thing to explain how she’d found herself at Max’s party in his parents’ sprawling Upper East Side penthouse apartment, watching Max defile priceless antiques. She should have stayed home with her dog.

  “Oh, my God, look who just showed up,” Lina hissed under her breath.

  Greaaat. Chase Bennett had just arrived at the party with Alex Drake, and he was trailing Peyton Tenaway. Of course. Since they’d gotten back from summer break, everywhere you looked, Peyton was following along close in Alex’s wake. Not that Jess made it a habit to look. It was just hard not to notice the two of them, with all their tall, gilded beauty, like a perfectly matched patrician Ken and Barbie.

  Jess tore her eyes away from Alex and looked hard at her best friend. “Lina, should I tell you again what a supremely bad idea that would be?”

  “I know.” Lina bit her lip. “Chase got so tan. I bet he spent the whole break on a beach.”

  “Instead of working?” Jess muttered. “I don’t doubt that.” Chase was the worst kind of lazy, entitled rich boy.

  “He’s just so hot,” Lina sighed.

  She’d been crushing on Chase since freshman year, but when they’d all started working on the DeWitt University Gazette together last year, her crush had expanded exponentially. Not even summer break seemed to have diminished it. Now they were turned loose together at this debauched party, lubricated with a couple of beers...this was a recipe for disaster.

  “Lina, you know what Chase is like. He goes through girls faster than a bag of chips. And he’s so shitty to them afterward—”

  “I know! I know exactly what he’s like.”

  Jess nudged Lina’s elbow. “Be smart.”

  “Ugh, smart is so boring sometimes. Don’t you wish, just once, you could be really, really dumb?” Lina gazed hungrily across the room at Chase.

  “But you won’t.”

  “Probably not.”

  “Hi, guys. What’s going on?”

  Jess plastered a polite smile on her face and turned to Josh, who’d just popped up behind them.

  “Hi, Josh. How’s it going?”

  “Great, now that you’re here!”

  Lina and Jess exchanged a brief, loaded look. Josh’s one-sided crush on Jess was becoming so obvious, it was embarrassing. It was too bad, because he was a genuinely nice guy, smart, and not bad to look at. He was no Abercrombie model like Alex and Chase, but he was cute enough. Yet despite all the check marks in the “Pro Josh” column, her stomach stubbornly refused to produce a single butterfly in his presence. Nothing. No flames of lust. Not even a spark.

  “Thanks for helping us with those freshman orientation tours, Josh. I really appreciated it.”

  “All you have to do is ask,” he replied, eyes shining. “You know I’ll always do anything I can to help you out.”

  Oh, please, stop.

  “Hi, Lina.”

  Alex. All the tiny hairs on Jess’s body prickled with awareness. When she turned back, his gaze shifted from Lina to her, and her nerves zinged with electricity.

  “Jessica, did you get my final draft of the opinion piece?”

  Oh, so Lina got a “hello” but not her? Typical.

  “Yes.” Two people could play this “rude and abrupt” game.

  “I didn’t hear from you about it, so I wasn’t sure.”

  Was she supposed to drop everything to focus on stroking his writer’s ego? Editing the DeWitt Gazette was a herculean task, and she was still new to it. The last thing she had time for was holding Alex’s hand. Metaphorically.

  “I got it.”

  “Did you read it?” he pressed.

  Yes. Yes, she read it. Twice. It was brilliant. Breathtakingly good. The way he articulated complicated ideas with effortless linguistic grace made her seethe with envy and appreciation.

  “The copy looked clean,” she said, refusing to pump him up the way he so obviously wanted her to. The whole world fell all over themselves to praise Alex Drake. She’d be damned if she played into it. “And the word count is fine.”

  He was struggling to appear unconcerned, but a little muscle in his cheek had started to twitch, giving him away. It was driving him crazy that she wouldn’t comment on his piece, which made her all the more determined to hold out.

  A brittle silence stretched out as they stared each other down.

  Lina cleared her throat, breaking the standoff. “How was your summer, Alex?”

  Oh, Alex’s summer had been fantastic, without a doubt. After winning the Newhouse last spring, and then scooping up one of the coveted internships with the Chicago Tribune, how could his summer have been less than dazzling?

  The Newhouse Student Journalism award was extremely prestigious, but Jess had had another motivation for entering a piece: the award came with a hefty financial prize. Those Chicago Tribune internships were unpaid, and Jess had to win the Newhouse if she wanted a chance at interning at the Trib.

  Then without warning, Alex had sailed in and entered the Newhouse and won it. Without a way to pay for it, Jess didn’t even bother applying for the internship, but Alex did, and he landed one of those prized spots. Of course he did. Did he get it because of his talent or did he get it because of his last name? For a few months last spring, Jess had burned with resentment. Alex breezed from one achievement to the next with such ease, while she and Lina had to fight for every opportunity. Did he even want to be a journalist or was this all just a hobby? With his father’s money, he sure as hell didn’t have to work for a living. It just didn’t seem fair.

  But being jealous of his successes had made her feel petty and small. She was better than that, right? It wasn’t like she was entitled to either the award or the internship. Alex had won and there was no point dwelling on it. She’d done her best to move on since the disappointments of last spring, focusing on her own work and forgetting all about Alex Drake.

  It had paid off. She’d spent her summer investigating how the university was investing its endowment, and her explosive story, published last week, was shaking up the university at the highest levels. Maybe she didn’t get the career boost the Trib internship would have provided, but the work she’d done had made a real difference, and wasn’t that why she wanted to write in the first place?

  Alex turned to face Lina and his expression transformed, losing every trace of hostility. “Summer was great. How was yours?” After practically beating his chest in her face, he was all smiles an
d politeness with Lina.

  Lina shrugged. “Good. The Beacon Lantern turned out to be a great internship. I made so many contacts.”

  “That’s great.” He reached up to run his fingers through his hair. It hadn’t been that long last spring, had it? It curled slightly at the nape of his neck now. “And you got to flee the city in July. Lucky you.”

  He really wasn’t going to brag about the Trib? Jess thought he’d be falling all over himself to gloat. Before she could think better of it, she was opening her mouth and goading him into it herself.

  “How was Chicago?”

  Ugh, why did she do that? She didn’t need to hear all the awesome details. She’d worked so hard to crush her jealousy. Now here she was, poking at something she knew would stir it up again.

  Alex’s eyes found hers again, wary at her sudden interest. “It was great. I wasn’t sure I liked Chicago at first, but Peyton’s got some friends there and—”

  Her stomach clenched in some awful combination of rage and...yep, jealousy. Seemed she wasn’t as immune as she’d thought. “Peyton got an internship at the Tribune, too?”

  Peyton? C-average Peyton Tenaway—got a spot at the Tribune? The only reason Peyton had even been admitted to DeWitt’s prestigious journalism program was because she was one of the Tenaways. Nearly a century before, her great-grandfather had founded City Review magazine, famous for its witty essays by esteemed writers and journalists. Now it was better known as a luxury lifestyle mag, which perfectly summed up Peyton herself.

  “Peyton at the Tribune?” Alex’s lips twitched with a suppressed smile as he shook his head. “Um, no. She was working for a fashion magazine her family owns. But she was the only person I knew there, so we hung out a little.”

  Okay, so Peyton hadn’t been at the Trib with Alex, which was a relief, but she’d spent all summer “hanging out” with him, whatever that meant. Actually, Jess had a pretty good idea of what it meant, especially since Peyton seemed to have become Alex’s shadow lately.

  Like a good friend, Lina sensed her growing frustration and deftly stepped in to change the subject. “Your article on the student protests last week was really good, Alex.”

  Good was an understatement. He was undeniably talented. Which meant he probably earned the Newhouse on his own merits. So it was a good thing she’d decided to quit being jealous of him. A very good thing.

  “Thanks, Lina. Hey, your interview with the Dean of Arts and Sciences was excellent. Those things are usually so dry, but you did something fresh with it.” Look at him, so interested in everything Lina had to say, so complimentary of her work, and it was all absolutely genuine.

  It was really too bad they didn’t get along because Alex seemed to be an exceptionally nice guy to everybody else. Looking like Captain America’s slightly less ripped younger brother wasn’t enough. He also had Cap’s flawless good manners and innate sense of decency. At least, for people not named Jess Romano.

  As if Josh with his inconvenient crush, and Alex with his internship and Peyton in Chicago weren’t making this night awful enough, Chase chose that moment to join them.

  “Jess, Lina, you’re both looking gorgeous tonight.” How someone as smart as Lina could fall for such a patently smarmy line astounded Jess, but there she went, lighting up like a candle for Chase. Hormones were the worst.

  She’d hoped she could convince Lina to leave soon, but there’d be no chance of that now that Chase had shown up, flinging compliments and flirtation like Mardi Gras beads.

  “Hey, Lina, I’m getting another drink.”

  “Ooh, get me one, too? I’m all out.”

  “Um, sure.” The looks Chase and Lina were exchanging made her reluctant to leave, but it was too late now.

  As she headed for the kitchen, Josh called out behind her. “Jess, wait, I’ll help you!”

  Of course.

  * * *

  Lina had disappeared, which was not good. Because Chase had also disappeared. Bad choices were definitely being made. Jess took another sip from her tepid beer. It was possible this last one had been a mistake, as she was definitely feeling less than dead sober. She rose up on tiptoe, scanning the room for Lina. She was going to have to climb on a table to see over the heads, and since she was just a little bit buzzed, table-scaling was a bad idea.

  If she went looking for them, she had no doubt Lina would just chase her away, insisting she had it under control—which was probably true. But shouldn’t she make one last attempt to drag Lina off the tracks before this inevitable train wreck occurred? Where was the line between concerned friend and annoying busybody? Well, she was going to find out tonight, because she was definitely hunting down Lina.

  Setting her beer bottle down on a side table, she turned and slammed right into someone. Tawny, highlighted hair filled her vision. Peyton.

  Peyton glanced down at her with an arctic smile. “Oh, look, the outer boroughs made it.” Classic Peyton. With her beautiful face and honeyed delivery, you could almost miss the absolutely deplorable shit she sometimes said.

  Ordinarily, Jess would never let that insult slide, but she’d made that resolution about being a better person and she wasn’t wasting emotional energy on Peyton tonight. “Sorry, Peyton, I didn’t see you.”

  With her imperturbable demeanor and her statuesque golden beauty, Peyton always made Jess feel like a baby goat—tiny, jumpy, and overly energetic. Peyton sighed languidly. “It must be impossible to see anything from all the way down there.”

  Okay, screw being a better person.

  “Wow, no one’s ever noticed that I’m short before. Clever you. Guess there’s more to you than good highlights and a legacy admission.”

  As she registered Jess’s insult, Peyton’s china-blue eyes widened with surprise. Most people were either too infatuated with her or too intimidated by her to ever call her out. And sure, Jess was intimidated, too, but she had her limits.

  Peyton’s smile turned cloying and patronizing. “Be careful, Jessica. While I’m sure certain men find your gritty realness appealing, a snarky sense of humor isn’t nearly as attractive to the opposite sex as you might think.”

  Gritty realness. She supposed that was Peyton code for “poor.” Okay, girl.

  “I wasn’t using it to appeal to the opposite sex. I was using it to underline how tired and clichéd your insults are. Now—”

  Peyton cut her off. “Have you seen Alex?” Alex? What the hell did he have to do with anything? There was a challenge in Peyton’s flinty gaze, but for the life of her, Jess had no idea why.

  “Not for ages.”

  “Well, if you see him, please tell him I’m looking for him. This party’s so bougie. I want him to take me home.” She was still staring Jess down, like she was waiting for some specific response from her. Well, tonight was her night for disappointment.

  “I live to pass on your messages, Peyton. Excuse me.”

  Pushing past her, she went in search of Lina. A hallway off to the right of the main sitting rooms led to what looked like guest rooms. In the first bedroom she tried, there was a couple rolling around on the bed in the dark, but it wasn’t Lina or Chase. The next room she tried was dark and empty. The third, far away from the noise and activity of the party, looked empty as well, but as she pulled the door closed behind her, a familiar voice spoke in the darkness.

  “Wait. Stay for a second.”

  Squinting into the dark, she made out a shape—Alex—standing by the large plate glass window, silhouetted against the glow of the city outside. She hesitated on the threshold, gripping the door handle. They’d already had one dustup tonight. She should probably just steer clear of him from here on out. But it was weird, him hiding in here, alone in the dark, when everyone at this party was clamoring for a spot at his side. Despite herself, her curiosity was piqued.

  The smart move right now would be to back out o
f this room, maybe say something biting first, close the door, and go find Lina. But something was compelling her forward, making her want to walk into the bedroom and close the door behind her, which would probably be a spectacularly dumb thing to do. Lina was right—sometimes being dumb was incredibly tempting.

  “C’mere.” His voice sounded different in here, quiet and intimate.

  Her curiosity won out. Stepping inside and closing the door, she made her way through the gloom to stand next to him by the window, overlooking the street many floors below. “What are you doing in here?”

  Alex gave a shrug, that familiar, elegant gesture of his that she half hated, half envied. “Wanted to be alone. What are you doing here?”

  “Looking for Lina.”

  “Ah.” He looked away, a rueful smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. The glow from the streetlights lit up his face from underneath, making him look dreamlike, and—if possible—even more beautiful. “I left her talking to Chase.”

  Oh, Lina. She deserved so much better than what she was about to get. “I figured. I just need to make sure she’s okay.”

  “Lina’s a big girl.”

  That was true. She was an adult, free to make her own choices, even if they were spectacularly bad.

  “Hey, your article about the university financial investments was really good.”

  Alex’s words brought her up short. Huh? Two years of animosity had her bristling for a snarky comeback, but no matter how she examined his statement, she couldn’t find the dig in it.

  “What, I wasn’t too strident? Too idealistic?”

  He let out a soft huff of laughter. “Maybe a little idealistic, but in a good way. The university has no business investing the endowment money in a company that launders money for a dictatorship. Nobody would have caught it in Franklin’s holdings if you hadn’t followed the paper trail. That must have taken you forever to wade through.”

  Was he really serious? Somehow the gracious Alex he showed the rest of the world had made a brief appearance for her. And yes, it had taken forever. The summer she’d hoped to spend in Chicago at the Tribune had instead been spent at her kitchen table, surrounded by spreadsheets and complex financial documents.