My Clarity

by M. Clarke

  Elijah drove us to the top of a hill, pulled out a picnic blanket when we got out of the car, and draped a light blanket over my shoulders. The sun had set and the stars and moon appeared, illuminating the dark sky with their magic. The city lights below shone in multiple colors, looking like lights on a ginormous Christmas tree. It was a marvelous sight; one that held your attention so you couldn’t look away. It was so peaceful here. Being the only ones here was like being in our own world within a world.

  “I didn’t make dinner. I bought it from a restaurant. I know the owner. She let me borrow these containers to keep the food hot for hours,” he explained, placing them in front of us.

  “Elijah, you didn’t have to go to all that trouble. Sandwiches would have been fine or I could’ve made something. Just sitting here with you, looking at this view, I don’t think I could think of food.”

  Elijah let out a chuckle. “I know you’re starving, you barely ate lunch. Of course, I had to do this. I only want the best for you. You’ve seen just a part of who I am. You haven’t seen anything yet,” he winked.

  “I can’t wait,” I gushed.

  Sitting side by side, we finished our seafood linguini, salad, and we even shared a big hunk of cheesecake. Then we cuddled together with a blanket around us. Though occasionally, the cool wind would brush my face, making me shiver, I was warm from the heat of Elijah’s body.

  “How did you find this place,” I asked, tracing his facial features with my finger. I started from his thick brows, across his long eyes lashes, glided down his nose, and curved around his cheekbones. When I reached his lips, he kissed my fingertip.

  Elijah closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “It was by accident. When my brother passed away, I took off for a few days to be alone. That’s when I found this place. It gave me peace. I would sit here for hours just staring at the stars, the moon, and the city lights. I needed something to balance the pain. You are the only one I’ve ever brought here.”

  I tenderly kissed his lips to thank him.

  Elijah gave me a kiss on my nose and continued. “I still come here a lot. It’s what gives me hope. It keeps me grounded so I won’t do anything I might regret. Besides my friends being there for me, it’s how I survived the loss of the only family I had. I brought you here so that I could share this special place with someone I would do anything for. You know I’ll be graduating this year, but what I didn’t tell you is that I’m going to take an internship with Professor Kelp. There is a good chance I may get into the MBA program. I’m even thinking of becoming a stockbroker.”

  I blinked at the realization he was thinking about the future…our future, and the feeling was incredible. “Elijah, I don’t know what to say. I’m so proud of you. You don’t know how happy you just made me. I was worried about our future.”

  “Don’t be. I told you I would shape up so I could be the man you deserve, the man you need me to be. I want to be able to provide for you and the family I hope we’ll have one day.”

  “I love it when you say things like that.” I wrapped my arms around the strong nape of his neck and pressed my body to his. “My dad would’ve loved you. If you’re up for it, I’d like you to meet my mom and my stepdad. I’m glad I went back for Christmas. Mom and I had a long talk. There were misunderstandings that got in the way before, but it’s all good now.”

  “I’m happy for you, Alex. Life is too short. Don’t dwell on the bad.”

  “Okay,” I nodded and blinked when I felt a drop on my nose. “Is it going to rain?” Then it was apparent when the drops fell faster.

  “Looks like Marcus was right.”

  We both stood up, gathering the items from the blanket. “Why Marcus, Elijah? Why did you pick him?”

  Elijah stopped what he was doing and looked at me. “He took over my brother’s room. It’s my way of being connected to Evan. My brother’s name was Evan.”

  His words gave me chills. “Do you sing for any of the others or just for Marcus?”

  “Sometimes, I sing to a group of patients.”

  The rain started pouring faster, interrupting our conversation. Elijah gathered the last few items, threw them in the trunk, and opened the door for me.

  “What are you waiting for, Freckles? Get in.”

  I closed the door, and pulled Elijah to me. We were getting drenched, but I didn’t care. Rain fell on Elijah’s face and soaked into his sweater. The way he was staring back at me reminded me of when we showered together. Pushing my naughty thoughts away, I curled my lips into a mischievous smile. “I want to dance in the rain. I want to do it for Marcus.”

  Elijah looked at me for a second. His eyes twinkled with approval. Rewarding me with his sexy grin, he swung me around. “We can do more than dance. Alex, you feel like heaven to touch.”

  He sang “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You,” an oldie by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. It was one of the songs my dad used to sing.

  Trembling, my body felt like it had turned to ice and the wet clothes clung uncomfortably to every part of my skin, but it was worth it—worth this moment—worth it all. We jumped in puddles together like children, all the puddles we could find, while Elijah bellowed at the top of his lungs singing. “I love you, baby!” As the rain poured down on us, we both sang our hearts out, laughed out loud, jumped as high as we could, and danced like we’ve never danced before without a care in the world.

  Chapter 36

  Elijah

  Whiteboard:

  Thank you for the most

  amazing date!

  -Alex

  It had been a while since the gang got together. I told everyone that it was potluck, so we ended up with all different types of food. Alex offered to cook, but she had her job and her classes. I didn’t want that kind of stress for her.

  “Are you ready for the race of your life?” Dean asked, lazily sitting on the sofa next to Lexy.

  I wanted to punch him for spoiling my plans. I knew Alex would disapprove, especially when she glared at me without a smile. I was going to charm my way into convincing her and let her know it would be my last race, but it looked like I was going to have to do a lot more than that.

  “Why don’t you back away from this race,” Seth suggested, sitting across from me at the dining table. “I mean, you don’t need the money. The risk isn’t worth it. You know the cops are going to be swarming the place, especially after all of the unavoidable complaints.”

  “I have to agree with Seth,” Lexy added.

  “That’s strange, Elijah told me he wasn’t going to race anymore.” Alex’s tone was sarcastic.

  “I had already signed up for this one before we agreed that I wouldn’t race.” I couldn’t look at Alex. I was doing this for her, for us. She may not understand, but as a man, I had this need to provide and take care of her. With the amount of money I could win, I could buy her a car and save the rest for the future.

  When Alex went into the kitchen, I followed and snatched her before she could get away from me. I was holding her so tightly that she couldn’t even struggle. “I promised you that I wouldn’t race anymore, but this is different.”

  “When were you going to tell me?” she frowned, darting her eyes at me in anger. “And when is it?”

  “The race is next week. I had this whole speech ready for you and I even thought about how I was going to convince you.”

  “You did?” Her tone softened, looking amused.

  I rocked us back and forth. “I did. I was going to tell you that I went two weeks without smoking, even after telling myself I would never stop smoking for anyone but myself. Now you know that I would do anything to make you happy.”

  Her eyes glowed and she gave me that smile I loved so much. “I’m so proud of you. Thank you.”

  “And I was also going to do this.” I leaned into that special place I like to nibble on her neck. Thank goodness Dean had the television on and they were watching the Lakers game. When she moaned, I trailed my kisses lower, down to her br
easts.

  Backing her against the cabinet, my hands explored her body as I continued to consume her mouth with my lips and tongue. I anchored her right leg around my waist and grabbed her ass. When she sucked in air, it drove me to another level of excitement.

  “You know that’s not going to work. Safety. Comes. First,” Alex managed to say between kissing me back, lost to my touches. I didn’t reply because I was way too into what I was doing.

  “You have a bedroom. Actually two,” Seth hollered, chuckling. “Pick one.”

  Alex turned her body away shyly with a soft giggle before I could release her. I dragged my hair back and watched her walk away. I could tell this was not over.

  Alexandria

  It was late into the night and everyone had gone home. While I washed up, Elijah was already in bed, studying his notes. Trying to look as seductive as possible, I inhaled a deep, nervous breath and rested my hand on the doorframe with my hip leaned to one side.

  “So you thought you could convince me with your speech and charm, but you see I also have a speech ready. I even thought about how I could convince you. So here I am.” Still standing by the door, I made sure the leather jacket opened just enough so he could see that I was completely naked underneath.

  Elijah’s lips curled deviously and he tossed his notebook on the floor. Putting his arms behind his neck for support, his muscles were cut and defined. He was shirtless. Actually, he had nothing but his cotton shorts on, and he looked way too sexy.

  “Are you trying to seduce me, Ms. Weis?” His eyes raked over my body while he bit his bottom lip.

  “It depends on your answer, Mr. Cooper.” I swayed to him seductively, allowing the jacket to slide off my shoulder, exposing my breast.

  Elijah gasped slightly as he stood in front of me, cupping my face.

  “If you take that off, something will happen. I won’t be able to control myself. You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.”

  “I’ve been ready. I was just finding the right time.” I gave him a wicked smile. “A night with me or the race?”

  “That’s not fair, Freckles. I had signed up for this race long before we met. It’s a once in a lifetime chance. If I win, we could use that money for a down payment for a house. One day soon, I’m going to marry you, and we’re going to have a minivan full of kids. I want to take care of us, our family.”

  I stared at him as his words soaked in, touching me to the very depth of my heart. My body tingled hearing the thoughts I never knew were running through his mind. I knew he loved me, but I hadn’t realized just how much until this moment.

  Tears pooled in my eyes, feeling grateful for his love and devotion. I couldn’t be happier than I was right now. There was nothing more I could say. I would have to talk him out of it tomorrow. I still had time.

  “I’m ready, Elijah,” I whispered, letting the jacket fall to the floor. We hadn’t been together that long, but I felt like I’d known him a lifetime. “You’re absolutely beautiful, Freckles,” he said, taking a moment to study me. Then he scooped me up and hovered over me on the bed. “I’m going to make you remember this night forever. I promise you, it will be special. Baby, I’m going to give you all of me.”

  Elijah’s lips brushed against mine and tenderly began to suck my lip. When his hand roamed over my breast, I gasped from the pleasure that shot through every nerve ending in my body. His kisses moved to my cheek, down my neck, and then his tongue ran deliciously over my nipple. He slowly tortured me as he sucked and nibbled on it. God, that felt so achingly good. Arching my back, I moaned as I felt the sensation between my legs burn with desire.

  When Elijah slipped his hands under my ass, he pressed his warm body against mine. That sent another erotic jolt to my sex. It blistered with want and need, making me crave him even more.

  “Elijah, please,” I whimpered, turning my head from side to side.

  “Not yet, Baby,” he murmured between nipping down past my belly button until…oh God…his mouth was sucking my clit. His tongue circled, licked, and flicked in the most gratifying way. He was driving me insane. My hands gripped his shoulders, slowly losing all sense of motor coordination, especially when he pushed his fingers inside me. Closing my eyes, I took in the pleasure.

  “I’m preparing you for something bigger,” he groaned. “I need to make you as wet as I can.” Elijah took my hand and placed it over his dick.

  My eyes shot open. He was right. He was big. When did he take off his shorts?

  “Are you sure you want this?” he asked as I stared at the beauty that was going to go inside me.

  “Yes,” I nodded, aching so badly from his fingers moving in and out.

  After driving me crazy to the point where I was about to beg, he spread my legs wider with his knees. After putting on a condom, he was on top of me. “I’m going to go slow,” he explained, cupping my face and looking lovingly into my eyes. “Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”

  I nodded again, but a little part of me was frightened. There was no doubt I wanted Elijah and I wanted this, but it also would mean that I was giving him all of me. I knew from the bottom of my heart that I belonged to him.

  Keeping his eyes on me, he pushed in. I gasped as he penetrated a little deeper. Slowly, cautiously, he moved his hips back and forth, gliding in and out and each time going deeper. “You ready?” he asked as his eyes darkened with passion and love.

  Before I could reply, I sucked in a big lump of air waiting for the burning sensation to pass.

  “I’m in,” he grinned, and then looked worried. “Does it hurt? Do you want me to stop?”

  “Don’t stop,” I begged, pulling him in for a kiss. Oh how I loved the taste of him.

  Elijah moved his hips slowly, looking into my eyes, giving me pleasure beyond anything I could imagine. He was filling me with his love and I knew he was right. I would never forget this moment.

  “I’m going to go easy with you. I don’t know how you’ll feel after tonight. I’m so honored to be your first and I want nothing more than to be your last,” he panted, running his hands through my hair. He had started to rock on top of me again, this time a little bit faster.

  The tingling sensation started from my stomach and expanded, spreading up to my head, and down to my toes. I was full to my limit; there was nowhere to release it as foreign, breathless sounds escaped my lips. I never knew I could make sounds like that.

  “God, Alex, you feel so damn good. I don’t want to stop,” Elijah said. “I want to make love to you all night, but I also don’t want you to be sore. You’re so beautiful. I love you, Baby.” Those were his last words before he conquered my lips again. Slowly taking his time with his lips and tongue, he brushed them along my neck, my shoulders, around my breast, and every inch of my body, worshipping, caressing, and making me feel special.

  Elijah touched me everywhere. He engulfed me with his kisses, his tenderness, and suddenly it hit me…I never knew what love was or making love was until tonight.

  After who-knew-how-long, he entered me again, but he was very gentle. As our bodies rocked together as one, he held me as if I was the most precious thing in his world.

  When I felt his body shudder and heard that unmistakable groaning of pleasure, I knew his will had been spent. After he examined me, he went to the bathroom and came back with a small wet towel. He gently wiped between my legs, cleaning me and tending to my needs. “You’re bleeding a little, but you’ll be fine.” He kissed the area he wiped, then cuddled next to me and placed my arm across his chest.

  “How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?”

  “No, I’m okay. Better than okay.” I released a soft sigh, feeling the warmth of him. How I loved to be here, right next to him.

  “Did I ever tell you that this is my favorite time of the day?” he commented.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Lying in bed, having you next to me, I look forward to this moment every night.” He kissed my forehead.
r />   “Me too,” I agreed and kissed him back.

  Chapter 37

  Elijah

  Whiteboard:

  Please don’t race!

  -Alex

  Alex and I purposely avoided the topic of the race for the past few days. I assumed she was thinking that I wouldn’t go ahead with it, but I knew what I had to do. There was no way I was going to back out. My mind was made up.

  “Where are you going?” I asked, stepping into the kitchen. Alex was washing the dishes. “You don’t have classes on Saturdays.” I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind and nibbled the side of her neck.

  “I told you I had to work this afternoon, remember?” She finished rinsing the last cup, then turned to face me and placed her hands on my arms. “I have to work until almost closing, so I’ll be home about nine.”

  “I’m going to win that race so you don’t have to work anymore. I’ll take care of you.”

  Alex’s smile disappeared. “What if I don’t want to quit my job? You never asked.”

  I glanced to the side and looked up at her once again. “You’re right, I didn’t. I’m sorry. You don’t have to quit, but I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be home late tonight.”

  “So you’re going to go through with it, even knowing how I feel.” Her tone had changed, becoming more authoritative. “Please, Elijah. I’m begging you.” She caressed her hands down my arms. “I don’t feel right about this. I feel sick to my stomach. It’s not just dangerous, the cops, and even your friends are against it. What if you get hurt or even kill someone?” she rambled. Her eyes pleaded.

  “If we worry about all the things that could happen, then we might as well worry all the time. Anything could happen to either of us at any time. I could have a heart attack or get hit by a car. But that doesn’t mean we stop living. That’s just life. When it’s your turn, it’s your turn, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Nothing is going to happen to me.”