Jameson (War Cats Book 3)

by Grace Brennan

  Stunned, she stared at the old woman with wide eyes, shooting a glance at Jameson before looking back. “Yes, exactly that.”

  “I told you I know what I’m doing.” Old Alice’s face showed her concentration again, and then her smile faded a bit as she looked at her. “The baby’s healthy, but underweight. She should weigh more for where you’re at. Not much, mind you, but enough. You should eat more.”

  Shame and worry hit Cadence with the force of a wrecking ball. She hadn’t had much money to eat, but dammit, she’d done her absolute best. But her best obviously wasn’t good enough. Maybe she shouldn’t believe everything this stranger was telling her, but hell, she was one hundred percent right when she said how far along Cadence was. Odds were, then, she was right about this, as well.

  Moving her hands from her belly, Old Alice took her hands, shoving Jameson’s hand away. It brought a small smile to Cadence’s face, despite everything. Old Alice squeezed her hands, waiting until she focused on her before speaking.

  “I can see that you’re freaking out, as the younger generation says. But I promise you, there’s nothing to worry about. The baby is healthy. Small, maybe, but healthy all the same. You’re doing things right. You just need to eat a tad bit more.”

  She nearly snorted. Easy for the old lady to say. Cadence was eating well here, but once she left, it would once again be a struggle.

  “Now,” Old Alice continued. “Do you want to know the sex?”

  Worry receding for a moment, her breath caught. “Absolutely.”

  Smiling, Old Alice put her hand on Cadence’s belly again, winking at her. “I already know, but I like feeling new life under my hands. Your baby’s a girl, dear.”

  Holy shit. A girl. She was having a girl. And for some reason, as the joy welled up inside her and her eyes misted over, her first reaction was to look at Jameson. He smiled at her, looking a little emotional himself, and she wrenched her gaze away, looking back to Old Alice. This time it was she who took the older lady’s hands, squeezing the fragile bones as hard as she dared.

  “Thank you. So much, for everything. It hurts to know I’m not doing completely right as her mother and protector, but I wouldn’t have known that at all if you didn’t tell me. And I didn’t care what I was having, honestly, but knowing it’s a girl… I feel like everything just changed. You gave me an amazing gift.”

  “The pleasure was all mine, believe me. I live for moments like this. And Cady—you’re doing everything right by her. You’re fighting right now to give her a better life, are you not? Along with being able to tell if a baby’s healthy, I can also sense how happy they are. Most are happy, some content, and then there are a few who are unhappy. Who don’t want to be born. Who don’t want the mothers they have. It’s rare, but still, it happens more than you might think.

  “Your little girl is ecstatic. She’s happy, extremely so. She loves being alive, can’t wait to be born, loves that she belongs to you. You did that, dear. Maybe she’s a tad bit smaller than she should be. Maybe if you ate more—though you don’t need much more, don’t think it’s bad, because it’s not—she’d be bigger. But, that aside, you’ve given her something more important. She has a zest for life, and that’s because of you. Don’t let the other stuff overshadow that. Little or not, she’s still healthy. Still happy. You should be proud of that.”

  Old Alice squeezed her hands one more time before slowly hobbling away. Cadence’s eyes and nose stung with tears, and she tried her best to fight them. But they were coming no matter what she did, and they were coming in hard.

  Oh, fuck. She was about to hardcore lose it, right there in the street. Without another moment’s thought, she turned and went straight into Jameson’s arms, burrowing into his hard chest.

  He was strong. He could handle this, maybe transfer some of his strength to her. And she knew, deep in her bones, that there was no safer place to be. He’d protect her, and her baby girl, always.

  Jameson froze as Cady threw herself in his arms, but only for a moment. His arms came up, wrapping around her and holding her close. She felt like a dream nestled in his arms, and he was basking in it. Basking in the feel of her baby bump pressing into his stomach.

  And then he heard her sniffle, and her shoulders started shaking. Oh fuck, was she crying? He tried to pull back so he could look into her face, but she shook her head, tightening her arms around his middle.

  “Don’t let go, okay?”

  Her voice was shaky and barely above a whisper, and it confirmed that yes, she was crying. And her tears hit him like a punch to the gut. Swallowing hard, he sought his voice.

  “Don’t worry. I won’t let go. I’ll never let go.”

  She risked a look up at him at his words, her big brown eyes full of tears, tear tracks already making their way down her cheeks. But she didn’t say anything about his words, and he wasn’t about to say anything himself. Her glasses were tear stained, and he gently plucked them off her face. The moment he did, she lowered her head and burrowed back into his chest.

  He rocked them back and forth for a bit, not saying a word. Just giving her the comfort and closeness she seemed to need, rubbing his hands gently against her back.

  Fix it. Fix mate. She shouldn’t be crying. She should only ever be smiling and happy, his tiger pleaded.

  I agree about her happiness, but I’m not sure I can fix this. I can only be there for her. But I’ll do my best to make her feel better, he assured his cat.

  They were getting curious looks as people passed, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was holding her, making sure she was okay. The look on her face when Old Alice said the baby was smaller than she should be, that Cady hadn’t been eating quite as well as she should, gutted him. He knew she’d been eating—she wouldn’t risk her baby, he knew her well enough to know that. But he also knew money was tight, so maybe she hadn’t eaten quite as much as she should.

  If, God forbid, he couldn’t talk her into staying, he thought he’d hide more than a couple hundred in her belongings. Five hundred might be enough. Maybe even more than that. She clearly needed it more than he did.

  Fuck, he hoped she stayed, though.

  The important thing was the baby was healthy. Nothing else mattered. A girl. It was a girl, and he’d only felt her move once, just last night, but he was already in love. She was his. Even if he couldn’t convince Cady to stay, he’d always feel like that baby girl was his.

  “You heard Old Alice,” he said, needing to reassure her somehow. “Your baby’s small, but she’s healthy. That’s the important part.”

  Sniffling, she nodded against his chest. “That’s not it. I mean, it’s part of it. I’ve been eating three meals a day, but I never imagined I wasn’t eating enough. It breaks my heart. I’ve been trying so hard to do everything right.”

  “Clearly you are since she’s healthy. Yeah, she’s a little small, but that’s an easy fix. But if that’s not it, why are you crying?”

  “Because she’s happy,” Cady said with a tear-filled laugh, pulling away and wiping her cheeks as she looked at him. “It’s probably a stupid reason to cry, but it hit me hard. She’s happy, and she wants to be born. To me. That’s… I don’t even have words for what that is.”

  Smiling crookedly, he wiped a stray tear, watching as her gorgeous chocolate eyes slowly dried. “Of course she wants to be born to you. You’re amazing, and you’ll make an even more amazing mother. She’s not stupid. She knows what’s up.”

  Cady laughed, the sound washing over him and warming him to his soul. “You’re crazy. Come on, let’s go home. I’ve made enough of a spectacle of myself tonight.”

  Home. She called his house her home. But he tried to ignore it and scoffed. “Who cares? No one will think twice about it. Here, want to put these back on?”

  She took the glasses he was holding out, but she didn’t put them back on. “We’re almost back to your house. I must look a mess.”

  He shook his head as she linked her arm
through his. “You look just as beautiful as always.”

  Her eyes were warm as she glanced up at him, but she just shook her head, not saying anything else until they were in his house. “I’m gonna go wash my face, get this ruined makeup off. No matter what you say, I know it’s running like crazy right now.”

  Before he could reply, she was making her way up the stairs. Yeah, her makeup had been runny, streaks of mascara down her cheeks and some of her freckles showing through. But he’d been telling the truth. She had looked beautiful. She always did.

  Toeing his boots off, he walked to the couch and plopped down with a heavy exhale. The ups and downs of the day straight wore him out. But major progress was made today. She went to dinner with him and was completely at ease. And on the way home, she actually took his hand. All on her own, which was so huge. And then she turned to his arms when she needed comfort.

  And for the first time, he felt like this could actually work. He might actually be able to talk her into staying here.

  We can, and we will.

  He snorted at his tiger. He was way too confident about the situation, but some of it was seeping into Jameson. Yeah, this could work.

  Thank fuck for that.

  Chapter Nine

  Cadence blew out a breath as she stared at herself in the mirror. After she washed her makeup off—which was even worse than she feared it was after her crying jag—she changed into her night clothes. No big deal, right? At least, it normally wasn’t.

  But she wanted to go back downstairs. Spend more time with Jameson. Maybe even touch him, and, if she didn’t panic… maybe even do more than innocently touch him.

  Shit, she never imagined she’d want to do that with any man again. Ever. But Jameson wasn’t just any man. He proved that 2every minute of every day. Being with him was incredibly easy, and touching him felt like she imagined touching a livewire would be. It was electric. Just holding his hand sent desire shooting through her, and she tingled. Tingled. She hadn’t known that was even possible.

  The only part that bothered her a little was how close to him it made her feel. Like their hands twined together bonded them emotionally. Well, if she were being honest, it wasn’t technically that that bothered her. It was how much she liked it. She was leaving at the end of the week, and it wasn’t smart to get attached to him.

  But if there was any man she’d want to get attached to, it was Jameson. She couldn’t image anyone better. Being close to him felt good. Better than anything had in a long time.

  And she hadn’t missed how emotional he’d been over Old Alice’s words, either. He loved knowing her baby was a girl. Loved knowing she was healthy, if a little on the small side. She couldn’t imagine him being happier with knowing those things if he was the father.

  And whoa, holy shit. That was dangerous thinking there, and she needed to put that far, far from her mind.

  But despite all that, she wanted to go back downstairs. Wanted to spend more time with him, see where this could lead. And she was looking at herself with a critical eye because she wanted him. Physically. And she wanted him to want her back.

  Cocking her head, she looked at herself in the mirror again. She was wearing shorts and a top. The shorts weren’t the problem. Her legs were toned from years of dancing—a little skinnier now but toned—and that hadn’t changed much since she quit stripping.

  It was the shirt that was the problem. It was one she wore pre-pregnancy, and it used to be baggy on her. It wasn’t exactly tight now, not really, but her baby bump was clearly visible. The fabric hugged it, not too snug, but enough to almost highlight her belly.

  She didn’t know why she was dithering about it. It wasn’t like it was a big deal. He knew she was pregnant. He had his hand on her stomach last night, felt the baby move. It wouldn’t be a surprise to him.

  But he hadn’t seen it before, not really. Sure, he probably could tell even with her baggy shirts on, but not like this. It felt completely different.

  She watched in the mirror as she rolled her eyes over her thoughts. Enough of this. If he had a problem seeing the evidence of her pregnancy, it was better she knew now. If things heated up even more between them and went where she was suddenly longing for them to go, she’d be devastated if he called a halt to it once he got an eyeful of her belly.

  Inhaling deeply, she left the room and went downstairs. It was quiet, only a lamp on in the living room, and she thought he already went to bed. Shit. She waited too long, spent too much time worrying over what she was putting on, and of course he didn’t wait around on her. She implied she was coming back, but she didn’t say it outright. Men could be dense. Most of the time, things needed to be spelled out for them.

  She was just starting to turn back for the stairs when she spotted him. He stood up from the couch, stretching, his shirt raising with the motion. Swallowing hard, she stared at the strip of skin between his shirt and his jeans. Lord Almighty, this man was gorgeous as all hell.

  “Cady?”

  Whipping her eyes up, she saw him facing her, eyebrows high with surprise. Whether it was over her presence, what she was wearing, or the way she’d been looking at him, she didn’t know. She was so busted.

  “Hey. I just… wasn’t ready for bed yet, I guess,” she said lamely.

  Eyeing her, he smiled slowly as he walked around the couch and came to a stop in front of her. He looked her over, running his eyes up and down her frame, and she shivered, feeling his look like a tangible caress.

  “I’m glad you came back down. And you look gorgeous.”

  Her eyebrow cocked as she looked down. “In this?”

  Raising his hand slowly, he brushed her hair back. “You always do, no matter what you’re wearing. But I like this. It’s not your usual baggy shit. You can actually see your belly. I like it.”

  Eyes narrowing, she stared at him. “Are you, like, a pregnant woman chaser? Do you get off on it, or something?”

  “What? No,” he said, eyes wide as he looked at her like she was crazy. “Of course not. I just like that you don’t feel like you have to hide it from me, when you’re here in my home. That’s all.”

  “Whew, that’s a relief.”

  He studied her, his dark blue eyes intense, the lighter swirls slowly appearing. “What do you want, Cady?”

  “Just some company, I guess.”

  “Is that all?”

  Swallowing, she searched his eyes, trying to find her courage. His gaze was reassuring, open, and full of the same desire she felt. He wanted her as much as she wanted him, and it was blazing from his eyes. And seeing it gave her courage.

  “And because—because I want you, Jameson.”

  His eyes widened, and he started to reach for her. He paused, arms still extended. “Can I touch you?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Okay, I know I’ve shied away from you a lot since I showed up here. But come on, Jamie. I just said I wanted you. Of course you can touch me. It’s kind of a requirement for what I’m hoping we’ll do.”

  He smiled and then he finally touched her. He caressed her arms for just a moment, before pulling her gently forward and lowering his head. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she raised up on her tiptoes to meet him as his mouth touched hers.

  Holy mother of God. He was barely kissing her, just softly moving his lips against hers, but it lit up her body, every part of her tingling as her knees went weak. She couldn’t stop from gasping, her lips parting slightly. But he didn’t take advantage, just parted his own and gave her long, open mouth kisses that had her leaning fully onto him, her knees going from weak to the consistency of jelly.

  The feel of his hard body against hers set off an even more intense reaction. Fucking hell, nothing had ever felt like this. Nothing and no one. It was only a kiss, but it was already better than any sex she’d ever had in her life.

  Groaning, he moved a hand to her ass, squeezing before pulling her in tighter against him. Sweeping his tongue across her lips, he asked for entry, and she
was more than happy to grant it. Opening wider, she waited impatiently for him to make use of it, and when his tongue swept in, hers was ready to greet it.

  It wasn’t long before they were trying to devour each other. His tongue explored freely as his hands tightened to the point of pain, but it was a sensation she reveled in.

  For the first time in her life, she wanted a man to mark her. With her past what it was, that was nothing short of shocking. But the fact that this was Jameson made all the difference.

  Thrusting her hands into the long strands of his hair, she pressed in, wanting to get even closer, but it wasn’t possible. They were already plastered together as closely as they could be. But damn, if she could freakin’ crawl inside him, she would.

  He had an erection trying to rip through the fabric of his jeans, and it was impressive enough that she half thought it actually would. Unable to help herself, she circled her hips, grinding against it and smiling a little when he growled deep in his chest.

  Pulling away, he panted hard, and she reveled in pulling that reaction from him. The kiss had affected him as much as it had her, then, and she loved that. His dark blue eyes had the light blue swirls in them, and they were brighter than she’d ever seen them. So damn beautiful.

  “Fuck, Cadence. That kiss was Earth shattering. You’re fucking potent, sweetheart.”

  Pleasure washed over her, and then what he said registered, and she froze, ice water freezing her veins. Suddenly scared shitless, she put her hands to his chest and pushed him away. She backed up slowly, hands raised defensively. Anger and fear were swelling up inside her, making it hard to think. Jameson had a puzzled expression on his face, and he looked so sweet, so handsome, so amazing standing there.

  But it was a lie. It was all a fucking lie. She let a man dupe her a-fucking-gain, and she couldn’t believe she’d been such an idiot.

  “How—” pausing as her voice caught, she cleared her throat and tried again. “How do you know my name? Do you know Winston? It doesn’t make sense, but how else could you have known? Answer me, Jameson. How the fuck do you know my real name?”