Damarian (A Merman's Kiss Novel)

by Dee J. Stone

  Per Fiske’s request, I remain in my cave and I will not leave until it is time to meet Cassie. He has asked some of his Sentinel friends to patrol the sea along with him to ascertain that the humans have not entered the sea in search for us. So far, he has informed me that all is well. I have faith that Cassie will be able to speak with this human and ask him not to inform the others of the existence of children of the sea. But if she fails, I will deal with him.

  I spend the hours hunting fish and exploring the cave. There is not a lot to explore, for I have been here quite often and know the area very well, but the coral is so beautiful and I can never stop marveling at it. At times, I worry Doria or Father may search for me, but I do not sense any child of the sea drawing near.

  Finally, Fiske informs me that nightfall has arrived. With him at my side, I travel to land. A part of me is certain Cassie will not be there, for she is worried about the human Kyle, but the other one is hopeful. When I draw closer to the beach and do not see her, all the hope leaves me.

  Fiske tells me to wait underwater while he remains above the surface. I do not know how much time passes, but it seems like a great deal. When my eyes grow heavy, Fiske prods his head into my body. Damarian, I must insist we return to the cave.

  A little while longer, I ask. Please.

  Although he does not like it, he nods. We wait until my eyes grow heavy again, when Fiske practically tugs me along with him. I look back at the shore, at the large rocks where Cassie promised she would wait if it was safe. She is not there.

  ***

  Days have passed and I have not seen Cassie. I have swum close to the shore every night, hoping and yearning to see my human waiting on the rocks. But every night, she has not appeared.

  Now I swim back and forth in the cave, my thoughts in disorder. I once again waited for hours, but Cassie did not arrive. Every part of me fills with confusion and dread. Is it still not safe for me to come on land? Fiske has informed me that no humans have ventured deep into the sea, and I strained my ears toward the shore to hear any mention of the humans’ discovery of children of the sea. It seems as though the only person with the knowledge is the human Kyle.

  Another emotion engulfs me as well—worry. Is Cassie hurt? Perhaps she tried to speak to the human Kyle and asked him not to expose me to other humans. Perhaps he grew upset and harmed her.

  And lastly, another sensation overtakes me: betrayal mixed with heartache. Is it possible Cassie has abandoned me?

  When we parted in the cave, she was extremely worried about my safety and the safety of the children of the sea. It is possible she concluded it was in my best interest that she no longer associate herself with me. I cannot bear to lose her. I understand the ramifications of coming on land and having a relationship with her. She need not protect me.

  But now that she has decided to separate herself from me, I am filled with many other thoughts. Perhaps this indeed is ideal. Perhaps it is best I forget about her and take the throne, embrace my duty. She and I are from two different worlds and it would be extremely difficult—if not possible—for us to have a future together. I cannot live on land without the need to swim in seawater. She cannot remain in the sea for too long, and she will never be able to enter the colony. She will not know my family and they will not know her—unless they agree to travel to land, though I find that unlikely. I do not wish to sever myself from my family, but I would have no choice if I were to choose Cassie.

  Maybe Father and the princess are correct and we will learn to care deeply for one another. Maybe it is time I no longer have selfish thoughts and put the sea and her creatures above my own needs, as a true king would do. Just as Princess Flora was born into her duty, I have been born into mine.

  I grab a fish and bring it to my mouth. But I cannot devour it, for my stomach is twisting uncontrollably. I release the fish.

  One thing I am certain about: I know I will not be able to fully embrace my life in the sea, as king, if I did not come to an understanding with Cassie. I may be bound to the princess for eternity, but perhaps my heart will forever yearn for my human.

  I turn away from the school of fish and approach Fiske, who guards the entrance to the cave. I must go to land one final time, I inform him. I want to look into Cassie’s eyes and see if she truly loves me. If she does, I will risk it all. Having a future with her would be hard, but I would do everything I could to make it so. Even if I will no longer see my family and friends because my constant travel to and from land would put them in jeopardy. I would remain on land with the female who has taken my heart.

  Fiske does not seem too surprised by my news. Although we have swum to land only moments ago, we leave the cave and head there again. A part of me beats with hope that Cassie will be waiting for me on the rocks, but she is not.

  I look at Fiske. Hopefully, I will not return soon because she has welcomed me into her life.

  But if her decision is to not see you, you must return to the sea. Promise me, Damarian.

  I am not certain I can do so. If Cassie chooses not to have a future with me, I will attempt to change her mind. I will attempt to explain that she need not protect me. That what I feel for her is so profound and that it is my wish to be with her for all eternity.

  Damarian, you will have to accept her decision not to see you. You will have to return to the colony and take the throne.

  I know Fiske is correct, but I do not think my heart could handle it.

  Once we reach land, Fiske swims closer to the shore and surveys the area to ascertain no humans are about. My eyes move around the beach as well. It is vacant. It is my hope that no one will arrive due to the late hour.

  Fiske prods his nose into the side of my body. Do be careful, Damarian.

  I will. You need not fret.

  I kiss the top of his head before pulling myself onto the sand. I roll around in it so that the grains can conceal my tail. They help me dry as well, and it is not long before I undergo the transformation.

  My body remains still on the sand, my chest heaving. It has been quite some time since I have shifted into a human. My eyes beg to remain closed, but I must dress into a garment. I force myself to my legs and search the beach. I walk to and fro, but I cannot find anything. Panic overtakes me.

  I move deeper into the beach, to a location I believe many humans do not venture to because there is a lot of waste and items humans have discarded. Buried beneath the junk are light brown short pants. Relief overwhelms me and I quickly pull them up my legs. But my body is so weak that I am forced to sit on the sand. My eyes can no longer remain open.

  Only one thought is on my mind: Cassie.

  ***

  Loud shouts force my body awake. I raise my head and see fry running in the distance. I blink a few times before I understand where I am. The beach. I have come to see Cassie.

  As I stand, I try not to let my worried thoughts crowd my brain. If Cassie has indeed decided to cast me off…no, I will not accept it. I cannot. I know she loves me just as much as I love her, and I know she wants to have a future with me. We will find the means to make it so.

  As I head toward the exit of the beach, I see her sitting on the sand with a somewhat elderly human male at her side. The sight of her causes my heart to hurt and feel elated simultaneously. All I wish to do is run to her and gather her in my arms, kiss her and kiss her until I lose all feeling in my lips. I want to tell her how much love I have for her and how she is my world.

  I cannot hear what she discusses with the human male until I am only a few feet away. She refers to him as “Uncle Jim,” and they speak about Cassie educating fry. They talk as though she has chosen another future, one which I am not part of. Has she truly surrendered the possibility of eternity with me?

  I move closer. “Cassie?”

  Her head springs toward mine and when she takes me in, she gapes at me. There are many emotions passing over her face, but I cannot make sense of them all. It seems she is glad to see me but also disappointed.r />
  Her uncle Jim bids her goodbye and walks away. Cassie lifts herself onto her legs and stands before me, her eyes moving over every part of me. Finally, she says, “What are you doing here?”

  “You did not wait for me.”

  Nothing but guilt enters her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Damarian.”

  I move closer to her, but she backs away. “Please, Cassie. Do not abandon me. You are my Cassie. How I love you so.”

  Tears gather in her eyes. “This is already hard. Don’t make it any harder. You belong in the ocean. It’s not safe for you on land.”

  I feel tears gathering in my eyes as well. “No. I will not accept this.”

  Just as I am ready to tell her all that lies in my heart, how I will not yield until she agrees to be with me for eternity, that she need not worry about my safety, someone says, “Look who washed up on shore.”

  Cassie and I both turn around to the human Kyle.

  “I’m sensing a bit of tension,” he says in a humorous tone.

  This human. This vile human! I storm to him. “You are the cause of this.” Every part of me urges me to raise my fist and slam it into his face. I have never known such violence in the sea. Perhaps it is a human instinct. I force my hand to remain at my side.

  The human steps back, lifts his arms over his head, and presses his hands together, then lowers his head. “Forgive me, Damarian, my king.”

  My body grows cold and rigid, my heart beating profoundly. “Who are you?”

  “Kyler, of the Emerald clan.”

  I do not understand. He is of…? The rumors I heard about an Emerald being banished to land. They are indeed true.

  “The one who was banished twenty four moons past?” I ask, though my voice is so unstable I hardly recognize it.

  “The very same.”

  I cannot breathe.

  Cassie gapes at the two of us. “You’re…you’re a merman, too?” she asks the banished Kyler of the Emerald clan.

  He grins. “Funny, isn’t it? The only guys you’ve slept with are fish.”

  I bolt toward him, but once again force my hand to my side. “Do not speak to Cassie in such a manner.”

  Kyler lowers his head. “Forgive me, my king.”

  “Why does he call you his king, Damarian?” Cassie demands.

  “She doesn’t know?” Kyler asks.

  I glare at him. I did not want Cassie to discover the truth. It will hurt her.

  “Damarian?” she asks.

  I cannot look at her. I cannot bear to see the betrayal in her eyes. If I would have been honest from the beginning, I know she and I would not have shared all those special, passionate moments. I would be mated to the princess and rule the sea. I had hoped I would have no need to tell her the truth, for it would not have mattered.

  “You’re human,” Cassie says to Kyler. “You’re always in the water, and you’ve never grown a tail or gills.”

  He grimaces. “I’m banished.”

  “What’s banished mean?”

  With another grimace, he says, “Two years ago, I fell in love with a human girl. I thought I could speak to my king. I thought he’d understand me.” His fury-filled eyes bore into mine. “He stripped me of my tail and banished me to live on land, never to enter the ocean as a child of the sea. I couldn’t see my family, my friends, my home. I could never have my tail again.” His eyes are now on Cassie. “Do you have any idea what that feels like? To be banished from the only life you’ve ever known?”

  When his eyes return to me, I look away. I have nothing but sympathy for this child of the Emerald clan. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be banned from the sea and never see my family and friends.

  A sudden thought enters my head—that it is precisely what I have chosen, is it not? To sacrifice being with my family for Cassie. But it is not entirely the same, for though I have decided to live on land with her, I will still be able to enter the sea. I have not abandoned them entirely. And now that I have learned that the human threatening to expose me is a former child of the sea, perhaps I need not limit my visits.

  “At least I had the girl I loved,” Kyler says. “Or so I thought. She dumped me the minute she discovered I no longer had my tail and fin.” His lips tremble. “I was alone. Completely alone. I had to learn how to live as a human, without help from anyone.”

  I feel for him, truly I do. If I were the king, I would not have treated him in such a manner.

  Kyler’s eyes once again bore into mine. “And you. You’ve been seeing a human girl for weeks. Yet you’re not banished. What is it? Does King Palaemon favor you over the many other children of the sea?”

  No, for unlike Kyler, I kept my meetings with Cassie a secret. I am quite certain he would banish me if he learned the truth.

  Cassie’s eyes move from me to him, utterly confused and hurt. I do not wish to cause her any pain. Kyler must stop speaking this very moment.

  I try to communicate my feelings with Kyler, but that only seems to make him more humorous. “She doesn’t know, does she? You haven’t told her.” He laughs in a sour manner. “Of course you haven’t told her.”

  “Told me what?” Cassie asks.

  No! I do not want to cause her any pain.

  “Tell her how the crown rightfully belongs to the Sapphire clan, to your family,” Kyler says. “Tell her how you are the true heir to the throne. That you are betrothed to Princess Flora and will become the rightful king.”

  My eyes shut for a moment as my limbs grow cold. He has said it.

  Cassie appears as white as the walls in her home. “Betrothed?”

  “Cassie…”

  “What is he talking about?” she says in a raised tone. “You’re engaged?”

  I close my eyes and release some air. As I open them, tears drip down my cheeks. “Yes, Cassie. I am to take the throne. I am indeed betrothed to Princess Flora, daughter of King Palaemon. Since I was a fry.”

  “To unite the five clans under one crown,” Kyler says. “To return the kingdom to the rightful heir.”

  I wish to tell her that it is not so anymore, than I have chosen not to mate with the princess, for Cassie is the female I love. But Cassie’s eyes are wild with heartache and betrayal. Tears run down her face as she pushes me backward. “How could you? I trusted you! You’re engaged—you’re going to get married and rule the merpeople. You never intended to have a future with me.”

  I do not know what to say. She is correct that she has trusted me and opened her heart. I have betrayed her trust by lying to her. But she is incorrect when she claims I had no intention of having a future with her. For I did, very much so.

  “What have you been doing with me?” she demands as more tears rush down her cheeks. “Was I your distraction? Your bachelor party before you settle down and rule your people? You said you wouldn’t hurt me. You said you’d never, ever hurt me.”

  “Cassie—”

  She pushes me again. “I never want to see you again. Go back to the ocean. Don’t ever come out. I don’t want to ever lay eyes on you!”

  She flees the beach.

  “Cassie!” I move to hurry after her, but Kyler grabs hold of my arm.

  “Leave her,” he says.

  I yank my arm out of his. “You do not know what you have just caused, Kyler of the Emerald clan.”

  He folds his arms across his chest. “What I’ve caused? What exactly do you think you’re doing, messing with her feelings like that? You’re betrothed to the princess and will become king. You had no right to string her along all this time.”

  “I am not to mate with the princess! You have been on land for twenty four moons and are not aware of what has occurred in the sea. Now you have spoiled my relationship with Cassie.”

  I fall to my knees at the deep, intense pain in my chest. I cannot see due to the immense tears in my eyes.

  “I don’t get it,” he says. “You’re not going to mate with the princess?”

  “No.” I glare up at him. “I am aband
oning my duty for love.”

  Kyler’s mouth falls open. He moves his lips but no sound comes out. Finally, he says, “I didn’t know. I thought…” He rubs the back of his head, then shakes it. “My king—er, excuse me, Damarian—you know you and her wouldn’t last. You’ve been kidding yourself all along. You can’t have a future with a human. I learned that the hard way.”

  I lift myself to my feet and narrow my eyes at him. “It is not you who is to decide who I can or cannot have a future with.”

  “You’re deluding yourself if you think you can actually make it work. Humans are not like children of the sea. Tell me you know deep down that the two of you would never work out.”

  I will not admit such a thing.

  “You know I’m right,” he says. “And that is extremely unfair to her. You would have strung her along only to break her heart.”

  “That is not true!”

  He shakes his head before walking away.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Are you certain you are all right? Fiske asks as he and I swim toward the colony.

  Yes, I lie, for I do not wish to worry him. I have never felt such intense pain all over my body. All I see before me is Cassie’s hurt and betrayed face. I had wanted to tell her how I would not allow anything hinder me from having a future with her, when all the while it was me who had been hindering me. For I have not been truthful to her, and now I have hurt her immensely.

  Perhaps I should put an end to my fighting and just surrender. Surrender and sacrifice my heart and live a life devoid of love or happiness. Perform my duty to every creature in the sea without any thought to my well-being. That is what everyone wishes of me.

  And perhaps Kyler of the Emerald clan is correct—perhaps a part of me has been “stringing Cassie along,” for I have worried deep down that I could not be with her for all eternity. Perhaps if Kyler would not have exposed the truth, I would have spent many moons with her only to have no choice but to abandon her. I do not believe I could ever choose another being as my mate, for I will love and cherish Cassie for all eternity.

  I do not realize we have reached the colony until the Sentinels demand to know who I am. Yes, who am I exactly? I do not think I could take the princess as my mate, not when my heart is broken over Cassie. It would be unfair to her—she deserves someone who would love and cherish her for eternity. Am I to spend the rest of my moons yearning after the female I cannot have?