STRAYED

by Amber Lynn Natusch

  Without another word, he stalked toward the wall of darkened windows lining the front wall of his loft. He kept his back to me the entire time, not even sparing a glance back. I had been dismissed.

  I took a deep breath and tried to clear my thoughts. Was whatever potential truth Gavin had me seeking worth the price? Was it worth possibly losing Sean in the process? Maybe Sean was right—maybe the past was best left there to fester and not be dredged up to cause nothing but more pain than it had originally inflicted. My compulsion to search for Gavin's answers was positively all-consuming, but a small place in my mind fought to override it.

  Taking steady steps, I made my way over to rest my forehead against Sean's broad and exposed back, running my hand gently down the sculpted muscles. My proximity to Sean and core desire to not let our relationship be sabotaged overruled all other needs in that moment. Inhaling slow, deep breaths, I pressed my lips softly into the valley between his shoulder blades while I ran my fingertips up his sides and around his shoulders. Still nervous, I let my lips tenderly explore his back, feeling the rise and fall of his chest speed up as I worked my way to his neck.

  Could I really accept his terms? Accept whatever had happened without knowing any of the details? And if I acknowledged my acceptance aloud, could I truly live up to my end of the bargain and stand beside him, come what may?

  It was a chance I was willing to take.

  “I accept,” I whispered in his ear, wrapping my arms tightly around his chest from behind. He still didn't move. “I accept everything about you.”

  That was what he had needed to hear. His head swiveled slowly to reveal a pained and uncertain expression. His energy mirrored his expression precisely. Disbelief then slowly tainted them both.

  He silently turned and lowered himself down onto the deep windowsill. Not wanting to lose contact with him, I sat upon his lap, straddling his legs. I delicately pushed a stray hair from his brow, running my hands all the way through his waves before bringing them back to cup his face.

  “I accept you, Sean,” I whispered again, holding his gaze intently. “I want a future with you too.” I leaned in slowly to kiss his forehead, then his cheeks, then his nose. I worked my way around his face, leaving a trail of my acceptance as I went. When I finally made my way back to his mouth, I paused, wanting to soak in the moment. “I love you,” I quietly told him. “I always will.” His hold on me tightened at those words. I could feel his restraint coursing through him into me.

  I watched his mouth openly slowly—hesitantly—preparing to respond to all I'd just professed. Before he had the chance, I pressed my lips to his, kissing him softly at first. But as his desperation to believe me grew, our pace quickened to a near frenzy. The heat that had always built between us threatened to consume us both in a feral blaze, branding our love into each other's soul.

  I knew his was in there somewhere.

  And I was determined to reach it.

  Chapter 11

  I awoke the next morning alone, a tiny note lying on the empty spot beside me. Sean had had to leave in the middle of the night and didn't want to wake me. It said nothing about where he had gone. Given how worn out I was from our activities, I wasn't at all surprised that he had been able to leave without me knowing. I smiled to myself when I saw that he'd written “love” at the bottom of the paper.

  Love, indeed.

  I loved him enough to let go of the secrets he held onto so tightly. I'd promised him that, and I’d meant it. With that thought in mind, I jumped from the bed, the early morning light spilling in through the bedroom windows, and quickly made my way to the bathroom to shower and dress. I had something I needed to do. I wanted my actions to speak louder than my words, even if Sean would never witness this particular act.

  Once I was relatively put together, I grabbed the rest of my belongings and left the apartment, heading off toward the docks. I needed to see Gavin one last time. I had something of his to return.

  This is a bridge that needs to be burned, Scarlet said, affirming my thoughts exactly. That's what I was heading there to do. To tell him that there was no room for both him and Sean in my life, however different their roles may have been. It was more than apparent that I would never find balance if they both remained.

  And I desperately needed some.

  Stepping onto the dock, I saw Ginger's smile greet me from the boat's entrance. She looked tired, the typical sparkle in her eyes absent.

  “What a lovely surprise.”

  “Good morning, Ginger.”

  “I was just about to head into town, but let me make some coffee for you,” she said, turning carefully to head back into the houseboat.

  “No need,” I called, jogging the last few paces to catch her. With a delicate step, I was on the deck beside her. “I won't be staying long. I just needed to give Gavin something.”

  “Oh,” she said softly. The disappointment in her voice wasn't lost on me. Neither was the sadness in her eyes. Upon closer inspection, I could see just how exhausted she looked. Older. Thinner. I wondered if the stress of everything was getting to her. Yet another thing I had to feel guilty about.

  “I would if I could,” I continued, smiling brightly. “I need to go home and help the boys today. I haven't been around much lately, and I feel badly about it.”

  The sorrow and concern left her countenance, and she patted my arm lightly.

  “Family is so important, Ruby,” she said, carefully making her way onto the dock. I offered her my hand, but she shooed it away. “Be sure to tell Cooper and the others hello for me. I hope to meet them all soon.”

  “Absolutely. Maybe you can come see the third floor renovation once it's finished,” I offered while she began to walk away. Was she moving more slowly than usual?

  “I would love to,” she replied, looking back over her shoulder at me. “Maybe even sooner than that.”

  “Deal.”

  “Take care, Ruby.”

  “You too, Ginger.”

  After watching her disappear around a corner, I pushed the door open and entered the tiny houseboat.

  “Gavin,” I called, not seeing him in the common space. When he emerged, he was the younger version of himself. He was a truly handsome man in that form.

  “Well this is unexpected,” he drawled, coming to stand before me.

  “Yeah...I'm sure it is.”

  “You have something for me already?” he asked, a sparkle of anticipation in his eyes that I had never seen there before.

  “You could say that.” I reached inside my purse and withdrew the controversial photo, the one of me as a child with the stunning raven-haired woman, and tossed it casually down onto the table. “I don't need this anymore.”

  I turned to leave without explanation, though I knew that plan was likely to fail.

  “I would be lying if I said this is what I had hoped for.” His voice was tight, his words clipped.

  “And yet it's what you're getting. I'm done with the games, Gavin. You've made it very clear that you're anti-Sean. I get it. Point taken.”

  “Clearly not,” he said, picking up the photo with a certain reverence, running his fingertip along the weathered edge.

  “What you don't seem to understand is that there's nothing in his past that could make me choose differently. Last night, I made that fact known to him. I've decided to leave his past where it belongs,” I said sharply, reaching for the door. “Maybe you should too.”

  “The lies we tell ourselves in the name of love,” he muttered, placing the picture on the table. “The higher you hold someone, Ruby, the farther they fall. Eventually.”

  “See! It's bullshit like this that I want to avoid in the future, Gavin. You're meddling. I don't know why, and I'm certain you'll never tell me, but you are and I'm done with it. You're a cancer that I've allowed to grow, but not anymore, my friend. Not anymore. Consider yourself excised.” I stepped toward him, standing steady in the face of his haughty gaze. “Whatever game this is that you
're playing with me, it's over. Understand? Done.”

  I stormed toward the door, fuming but confident in my decision to cut ties with the enigmatic Chameleon.

  But those ties wouldn't be severed so easily.

  “I can't say that I'm surprised,” he said calmly. Like an idiot, I halted, letting my curiosity get the best of me.

  “Yeah? Why is that?”

  “Why wouldn't you forgive your beloved? You're already in such a forgiving mood, aren't you?” he continued on, weaving his web of words, intent on capturing me in it, never to let me go. “You seem to have forgiven your other half, and well...frankly, if you could forgive her, then you could really forgive just about anyone. For anything.”

  Time to go, Ruby.

  “She and I are working things out in our own way. Whatever happened between her and me is just that: between her and me.”

  “Ah, I would normally agree with that, were the circumstances different, but they are not, are they, Scarlet?”

  Let me out...

  “Bad idea,” I muttered under my breath. “Stay put.”

  “Is she getting antsy in there?” he baited, stalking toward me while I hovered in the doorway. “I'm hard pressed to blame her for that, given her predicament.”

  “And what predicament would that be, exactly?”

  “Knowing that your truce would fall in an instant if you knew the truth.”

  “I think you underestimate the faith I have in her,” I told him through gritted teeth. I nearly choked on the words. “And I think you might be right, Scarlet. About the leaving part, anyway.”

  “I'm sure she would want to leave,” he said, wagging his finger. “Baby did a bad, bad thing, didn't you, Scarlet? I wonder how long you can repress those pesky memories. Surely you don't think Ruby is so dense that she won't put the pieces of the puzzle together at some point. And what then? What will you do when she knows the truth—the real truth about what you did?”

  Let me out. Now.

  “He's just trying to—”

  Let me out right this second or I will make you let me out.

  “Fine,” I sighed, giving in to her demands. “Please don't do anything too crazy.”

  With a cleansing, calming breath, I did the unthinkable. I let a clearly pissed off Scarlet out to share her feelings with Gavin. In hindsight, it was a bad call, but for reasons I could never have fathomed.

  “Well hello my red-eyed friend. It's been a while since I've seen you.”

  Seen you?

  “Shall we cut to the chase, Gavin?” Scarlet rumbled. “Ruby is far more tolerant of your games than I am. I prefer to get to the meat of the issue in a much more timely fashion.”

  “I'm well aware of how you operate, Scarlet. I'm aware of so much more than you know.”

  “Stay away from Ruby,” she purred, leaning in to stare right in his eyes. “No more games. No more riddles. No more threats. From now on, you will have no contact with her. If you agree to these conditions, I let you live. If you don't...” She let the implications of her words hang in the air unspoken, adding an ambivalent shrug for emphasis. I could feel that she wasn't joking. Apparently there was no love lost between those two either.

  Gavin stepped closer and thrust his face into hers; it was a standoff of epic proportions.

  “And now you listen to me,” he growled. “I will play my games as long as I wish. I will speak in riddles for as long as it pleases me. And I will threaten anyone I want to because I can, including you. You may think you have the brawn in this battle, but I know you lack the brains. You are in a situation where I have all the leverage, my dear, so listen to my words very, very carefully: I know what you did. All of it. Every last detail. Killing me would only further convince Ruby of your guilt, even if she has yet to learn of the crime. Do you think that small detail will matter? I certainly don't. I think that she will cage you up until you either tell her what she wants to know or you go mad from isolation―the same isolation you put her in.”

  Scarlet's fear coursed through her with an abandon that I would not have thought possible. It was suffocating me slowly. While I struggled for air, she remained silent.

  “Now,” Gavin continued, sounding far more pleased with himself. “Just in case you think I'm bluffing, I have a little message for you to pass along to Ruby. Tell her I know who the woman in her dream was. When she's ready to know, she can come and find me.”

  “Do not test me,” Scarlet threatened, though I could feel the lack of power behind her words.

  “You run along now,” he mocked. “And try not to get yourself into too much trouble.”

  Knowing that Scarlet adores having the last word, I was shocked when she turned and walked out of his home without a final taunt. Whatever Gavin knew, she was none too happy about it.

  “Ignore him, Ruby,” she said, trying to calm herself.

  Yeah, that sounds awesome in theory, but I'm not so sure I can do that now.

  “Don't you see how he's manipulating you? Manipulating us?”

  Then you tell me who she was!

  “A mistake, Ruby. She was a mistake...one that I cannot take back.”

  But if you would just tell me, we could work through it.

  “No. We wouldn't. It's in the past. We need to leave it there. Nothing good will come of you knowing.”

  You sound exactly like Sean, you know that?

  “And in some things, his words are truth. You would be wise to remember that.”

  Before I could grill her further, she relinquished control, allowing me to reassume my station once again. Once I had taken over, I paused, hovering outside Gavin's home. My compulsion to return and ask for answers was hard to control.

  Her silence left me in a war with myself. I wanted to know what had happened while she was out―what she had done—but I was learning that the past could bite you if you let it. I had witnessed how rehashing things that had already been laid to rest typically brought about only pain. Cooper. Lyla. Alistair. Sean. They all had skeletons in their closets. The more I saw of them, the scarier those skeletons were. How frightening must Scarlet's have been if she was willing to go to such great lengths to keep them hidden?

  And that was the catch twenty-two. Either I turned a blind eye and was left always wondering, or I shed light on a truth that could prove so ugly that its image could never be erased. Both had unpleasant implications.

  But in my case, I feared curiosity was bound to kill this cat.

  So I caved.

  Crashing back through Gavin's door, I blurted out the obvious question that needed to be asked.

  “Who was she?”

  The smile he wore made my blood run cold.

  “Persephone.” This was his only response before he disappeared into his bedroom and closed the door.

  I stumbled back onto the dock, the name running through my mind over and over again. It didn't ring any bells. Should I have known who that was? Should it have meant something to me? Unsure what to make of it, I headed home.

  Scarlet never said a word. Not when I went to Gavin for the answer. Not along the walk back to the apartment. From the moment she relinquished control to me, she said nothing for the rest of the day. She had once again not only retreated from her position of control but also from me.

  If only I could have so easily retreated from the eventual fallout of her actions.

  Chapter 12

  I arrived home with little time to get ready to open the shop. Peyta was still not back, which meant that I was flying solo again. I liked a little alone time, especially with a home crawling with werewolves, but I missed her. I was starting to feel too alone there.

  It wasn't a great feeling.

  Knowing I was short on time, I burst into the apartment and down the hall to change into some clean clothes. There was a collective, sitcom-like greeting when I entered, with everyone all shouting “hey” at the same time. They were mulling about, eating breakfast, and arguing over what job to give Alistair for the day
to minimize the damage to the boys' new home.

  After finding something work-appropriate to throw on and taming my hair, I made my way out to the kitchen and quickly scooped whatever concoction of eggs, meat, and veggies that Cooper had cooked into a bowl. I couldn't have cared less what it was. It smelled divine.

  “Did you have a good evening, love?” Alistair asked, doing a little eyebrow dance as he looked up at me from his spot on the floor.

  “Yes. And if you keep up that ridiculous expression, I'll tell you all about it. Every last detail, including all kinds of information about Sean's—”

  “Okay,” Cooper yelled, interrupting me. “I'm not interested in hearing anything about Sean's...you know.” He shuddered, making a weird guttural sound, before he came over to me. “Aside from...that...did everything else go okay over there? Your 'sleeping over' text seemed weird for some reason.”

  “We had a bit of a fight. Kinda. Not really. But sort of,” I rambled, trying to decipher what to call it without having to go into a long-winded explanation of why we had it in the first place. “It's all good now.”

  He stared at me for a moment, not bothering to hide the fact that he was weighing my answer carefully.

  “Good,” he said, turning to head down the hall. “You should get to work. These kids aren't getting any cheaper to feed.”

  “Will do,” I replied, shoveling food into my face before looking up to the clock. It really was time to go.

  “Hey,” I called out to the group as I made my way to the door, “I have a random question for you all. Do any of you know anything about someone named Persephone?”

  The quizzical looks that assailed me from the living room were not encouraging. The fact that Cooper did an about-face to come back and join the wall of dubious stares did nothing to help matters.