The Girl in the Lighthouse (Arrington)

by Roxane Tepfer Sanford

  If anyone could save Momma from being swallowed up in the dark sea of her own mind, it would be Daddy. For certain, he was going to find the very best doctors to help her at least return to the way she used to be when she was at her sickest. She used to tell me that Daddy would go to the ends of the Earth and back for her, and now Daddy was about to take that journey.

  While at school, I couldn’t help but go back and forth in my mind between my own happiness in school and the troubled times we were all suffering on the island. Because Daddy was being selfless and allowing me to attend school, Opal had to tend to Momma when Daddy couldn’t. When Daddy had to be up in the tower, Opal had to keep watch and tend to her needs. Opal stayed up, sometimes days on end. Daddy didn’t realize how exhausted she was. He didn’t notice the bags under her eyes, the slow pace she kept when cooking supper for the group. Edward suggested Daddy think about resigning as primary keeper and stepping down to first keeper. Essentially, they would switch positions. But it had to be put in writing and submitted to the government, and no matter, because Daddy wouldn’t hear of it. We were all looking to the doctor that Daddy brought to see Momma for the answers. Would he have powders to put Momma’s mind at ease, at least enough so she was no longer a danger to herself or anyone else?

  The doctor had just returned to the mainland when we arrived on the island after school. Daddy was still with Momma when I came in, sitting on the edge of their bed with his head in his hands. When he heard me enter, he looked up.

  “She’s sleeping peacefully. Come in.” Daddy was weary. He had been crying.

  I sat down on the bed next to him and couldn’t look at Momma. I wanted to thank him for allowing me to move up a grade; I wanted him to see how appreciative I was, but I knew it wasn’t the right time.

  “What did the doctor say, Daddy? Did he give her new medicine?”

  “He gave her some powders to calm her nerves and help her sleep.”

  “Will it help her, Daddy? Will it make Momma remember where she is and who we are?”

  Momma, even through the midst of the thick fog in her mind, did remember Daddy. She continued to call him Garrett. But none of us, not even me, did she remember.

  “I certainly hope so, Lillian. I miss your momma very much. I know you do, too. With your help, and the doctor’s medicines, maybe Momma can come back to us. I don’t know what I’ll do if she doesn’t,” he said, and he couldn’t contain his tears. I had never seen Daddy cry before, not once. He was always so in control, so self assured. Now he was smothered in doubt and completely insecure. I didn’t want Daddy to turn to me for comfort. First, I had lost Momma, and now Daddy was becoming unhinged. It felt awkward to put my arms around Daddy while his shoulders shook from his sobbing. I was glad when Opal appeared in the room.

  “There is a fog rolling in,” she said softly. Daddy quickly wiped his tears, put on his hat, then hurried out without another word.

  “Does he need me to stay with your momma?” she asked, gazing at Momma with a deep, forlorn expression.

  “No. The doctor gave her sleeping powders. I’m sure she will rest all night now.”

  Momma seemed more at peace than she had for quite some time. It even looked like she had a smile on her face.

  “We should still lock the door,” Opal said. The key sat on a small table next to the door. I took it, closed the door, and turned the key in the hole until I heard the click, indicating it was locked.

  “Do you feel comfortable enough to sleep here tonight, or do you still want to stay with us?” Opal asked.

  I was ready to return to my own room with my own things. It felt better knowing Momma was getting the care she needed, that she was under the care of a doctor, and that no harm would come to her.

  “I’ll be fine,” I said, and went to hug her. I had put my arms as far as I could around her protruding belly, when all of a sudden I felt the movement of the baby inside her. I jumped back.

  “Did you feel that?” she laughed. “The baby just kicked.”

  “Does it hurt?” I asked. I had never felt anything like it before.

  “No, not at all. It kind of feels like lunch moving around.”

  I couldn’t imagine wanting to have a baby inside of me, but Opal appeared thrilled.

  “Do you think it’s another boy?”

  “I don’t know. I would love another son,” she said, then leaned close to my ear. “But a baby girl would be even better.”

  How exciting it would be to have a little girl to play with. She could be kind of like my very own sister.

  “When is she going to come?” I asked Opal on our way to her house for supper.

  “No later than March first, the doctor told me.”

  A spring baby. That was something to look forward to. Among all the trials and tribulations, through the misery and bleakness, like the fog that rolled in, I was content to believe in better and brighter things to come, for unrelenting happiness to seek me out and make my world turn right side up again.

  It wasn’t long before the days became chilly and the nights frigid. From the island, I saw the mainland turn into a beautiful landscape of red, yellow, and orange. The fall had never been a time to celebrate, but to prepare for the hostile, harsh, and sometimes hellish winter to come. However, since we came to Jasper Island, I had learned not everything that made me happy revolved exclusively around the weather. There were holidays I knew nothing about. Like Halloween. I had never heard of it before.

  “It means All Souls Day,” Ayden told me on our walk from the school to the harbor. “And the very next day is All Saints Day.”

  “What do you do on Halloween?” I asked. What could you do to have fun on a day that had anything to do with dead people?

  “Kids come into town and play tricks on people and make all kinds of mischief,” Ayden said with a twinkle in his dark eyes.

  I looked at Heath to see if he wanted to participate in something like that. To me, it would be out of his character.

  “Don’t you get into trouble for making mischief?”

  “No. It’s actually the one day it’s accepted. So what do you say, Lillian? Will you come with us tomorrow night?” Ayden asked.

  “Will the other children be doing it, too?”

  “Of course. We have plans to meet at the cemetery near to the school,” Heath said.

  I wasn’t sure. I would have never thought of participating in such wickedness. But if Heath was doing it and thought it was okay, I figured I would, too.

  The kids were whispering about what trouble we were going to cause on Halloween the next day at school. Apparently, Heath had organized it. We were all to meet at six o’clock at the cemetery then head to the nearest farms to turn over outhouses and even let some of the cattle loose. Everyone was going to be there, except Marvin and Mary.

  If Opal and Edward were aware of what we were planning, they didn’t seem concerned. In fact, they both retired to bed earlier than usual. Daddy was up in the tower, the light already lit for the long night ahead. It was already pitch-black out, and it was only five o’clock. The winter solstice was slowly creeping in, leaving us with less and less light, and the long days of cold darkness were on their way. Momma was sleeping soundly and locked up tight. I would be home in time to check on her before Daddy even knew I was gone.

  Heath and Ayden were down on the shore, waiting for me to board. Through the chilly darkness of the last night of October, we made our way over the sea to the mainland. The harbor was noisy and bustling, as usual; drunken sailors from the taverns roamed the streets, making all kinds of trouble. In the day, they weren’t around, but at night-time, fancy-dressed ladies were with the sailors and fishermen.

  Heath noticed me staring at them. “You stay away from women like that, Lillian. They are full of sin. They are evil women,” he warned me.

  “Why? What’s wrong with them?”

  “You don’t need to know anything else but that,” he said, and told Ayden and me to hurry up. I walked onl
y steps behind Heath, but Ayden trailed behind, still looking at the pretty, dressed-up ladies of the night. Heath caught on, stopped, and grabbed hold of him.

  “You better not ever let Mother or Father catch you looking at that kind again. Come on, now; we need to hurry, or they will start without us,” Heath said, and the three of us picked up the pace. As we hurried through the village, I noticed pumpkins on porches with carved faces and lit candles inside them, creating a spooky glow.

  “What are those?” I asked Heath.

  “Jack-o-lanterns.”

  “Didn’t you ever hear the story of Stingy Jack?” Ayden asked.

  “No, never.”

  Heath explained the Irish tale to me.

  “So you think it’s true, Heath?’ Ayden asked.

  “What? That Stingy Jack made a deal with the devil? And that he put the glowing coal into the turnip?”

  Ayden nodded.

  Heath pondered the question, then smiled and said, “No way.”

  I giggled.

  “Over there; that’s the cemetery.”

  There was no moon out; we could only see children by the candles they each had. It was spooky and eerie as we made our way past the tombstones. The piles of dried leaves crackled under our feet as we walked. Eloise came over and gave Heath a candle.

  “Is everyone here?” he asked.

  “Everyone is here. Are you ready?”

  The glow of the candle lit up the stone beside us. I turned to read the name with Ayden. We both gasped. It was Victor’s tombstone.

  “What?” Heath said then lowered the candle to get a better look.

  “Oh, it’s just the old keeper’s grave,” he sighed. Ayden and I knew it was more than just a grave. His spirit was always nearby, watching. Ayden and I locked eyes. He was just as spooked as I was. Just then, Clara came over with Betty and William. Heath stood up straight, cleared his throat, and said, “Hello, Clara.” She gave him one of her prettiest smiles. Within a moment, some kind of love switch was turned on inside Heath, and he no longer paid me any attention. He asked Clara to walk with him as he led the way.

  “He sure is smitten with her,” I heard Betty say to Eloise. Ayden giggled.

  Heath swung around and told us all to be quiet. My heart sank when he didn’t even look at me. I stayed with Ayden, and we were the last two to reach the edge of Old Man Powell’s farm. The farmer supposedly hated children. When some of the students in years past walked by his farm, he let his watch dogs loose on them. Most often, the children were able to outrun the vicious canines, and if they couldn’t, they ended up climbing the nearest tree.

  The first thing the boys did was tip over the outhouse. Then William opened the gates to the corral, and one by one, the cows strolled out. All together, ten walked along the dirt road. Ayden couldn’t contain his hysteria and fell to the ground laughing. Heath then asked who was brave enough to get close to the house to throw eggs at it. William raised his hand.

  “No, William. Let Heath do it,” Clara said. She batted her long lashes at him and immediately, he agreed. Through the darkness we all crept along the fence until we got close to the front door. Clara reached into the pockets of her dress and handed him an egg for each hand.

  “Okay, as soon as I hit the house, everyone run back to the cemetery.”

  Suddenly I became uncertain and approached Heath. “Maybe we shouldn’t. Don’t you think we have done enough?”

  “Stop being a baby, Lillian,” Betty said.

  “Go ahead, Heath; throw them,” Clara squealed. Heath wound up and belted the eggs, one after the other. They splattered all over Old Man Powell’s front door.

  “Run!” he hollered, as the front door flew open. Ayden and I were the fastest runners, but Heath was not far behind. We were all close until we heard the vicious dogs barking.

  “They’re after us,” Heath yelled. “Everyone separate.”

  We scattered into the woods. I thought Heath was with Ayden and me, but when I looked back, he wasn’t there.

  “Keep running,” Ayden said.

  “Heath! Where’s Heath?”

  “He’ll be fine; come on.” Ayden took my hand and ran, pulling me onward. Finally, we made it safely to the cemetery. In the distance, we could faintly hear the barking.

  “What if the dogs catch them?” I asked fearfully. Just then, Eleanor appeared, followed by Betty. We all stopped to catch our breath.

  “Did you see Heath?”

  “No, we went around to the north side. William, Heath, and Clara scattered in the opposite direction,” Betty stated.

  “We better get going,” they said.

  “Shouldn’t you wait with us?” Ayden asked.

  “We have to get home. We’ll see you in school,” they said, and left us.

  It had been several hours since we arrived, and the night air had gone from chilly to frigid. Ayden and I had no candle, but luckily, the moon appeared out of the shadow of the once overcast sky.

  “What should we do?” I asked Ayden. “Should we go and look for them?”

  “No, they know how to get back here. We’ll stay put.” Ayden noticed my shivering and gave his coat to me. All around us was still and eerie because we could now see all of the tombstones that surrounded us. Above us, in the tree, an owl hooted, and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

  “Don’t be scared, Lillian, please,” Ayden begged.

  “I’m not,” I insisted. But I was.

  Alone, Ayden and I stood in the middle of the cemetery for hours.

  “I’m tired,” I cried. “What are we going to do?”

  “Maybe we should go to the harbor.”

  I agreed. There was no sense in waiting any longer. If Heath hadn’t returned to the cemetery, for certain he would be waiting for us by the boat.

  _______________

  Chapter Nine

  Heath was standing by the boat when we arrived.

  “Where were you?” Ayden shouted.

  “I had to walk Clara home.”

  “You were supposed to meet us back at the cemetery,” I said.

  He didn’t respond to that. Instead, he shuffled his feet around in the ground and refused to meet our eyes.

  “How could you leave us like that?” I cried. I was angry and upset. Heath had forgotten all about us. Instead, he took care of Clara.

  “I’m sorry. She was scared; I didn’t want her to walk home alone in the dark.” He was apologetic, but it was obvious he had no regrets about his decision to stick with Clara instead of us.

  “You should have stuck to the plan, Heath,” Ayden said, scowling at him.

  “I know. It’s over now. Let’s get back to the island before they figure out we’re missing,” he said. The three of us climbed aboard, but it felt different. No longer were we the Three Musketeers, like always. Heath had strayed, and all for the sake of his adoration for Clara Roth.

  Heath got us back to Jasper Island in record speed. I was worried that Daddy would come to check on Momma and find me gone. He would be beside himself, and I would certainly be banished to my room. I was worried, while Ayden was still fuming.

  “You can’t just off and leave us. We were waiting for you in that creepy cemetery for hours.”

  “Can’t we let this drop?” Heath asked when he pulled the boat up on shore.

  “I’m not going next year,” Ayden said, and stormed off.

  “He’s right, you know,” I said, just before I left him.

  “I said I was sorry,” he replied softly.

  “And what exactly are you sorry for?” I demanded. I wanted him to feel guilty. I liked how our interrogation was causing him to crack and feel some remorse.

  “What else can I say?” he asked, his eyes pleading for me to understand. I didn’t want to understand that he loved her and not me. How could I accept that he obviously thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on?

  “Goodnight, Heath Dalton,” I said, and stormed off, just as Ayden had.


  We were fortunate enough to have returned before Daddy had a moment to check on Momma. I had just jumped into bed when I heard him walk down the hall. He quietly opened my door to make sure I was sleeping soundly. Then he proceeded down the hall, and I breathed a sigh of relief. It was close, too close. I didn’t ever want to take that kind of chance again. I wasn’t ever again going to allow Heath to talk me into mischief, just to abandon me anyways. I learned something that Halloween night. I learned that Heath was like any man and would bite off his own arm, for the sake of possibly winning the love of a beautiful girl.

  The very next day, the entire village was talking about what occurred at the Powell farm. Edward, who had been to the mainland, brought home a copy of the local newspaper.

  “Some kids really made some trouble for the farmer on Halloween night,” Edward said as he peered over the paper to catch our reactions.

  “Apparently, Mr. Powell witnessed a tall lad no older than sixteen running away from his house after throwing some eggs.”

  “That is just terrible,” Opal said, pouring Edward another cup of coffee. Daddy came in, looking typically exhausted, sat beside me, then said, “Nothing for me this morning.”

  “Are you certain, Garrett?” Opal asked. Daddy had no appetite when Momma was sick. Daddy had lost weight since Momma fell ill, so much so he asked Opal to take in his uniform trousers, as his belt had no more buckle holes left.

  There was nothing Momma could do to make herself well, but Daddy had a choice. He needed to take better care of himself, for my sake.