The Rom-Com Collection: The Plus One, Something for the Weekend, A Marriage of Connivance

by Natasha West

  But if Amy picked up on the subtext, she didn’t show it.

  ‘Great. Charlie’s the best.’

  Jack didn’t even look at Charlie. He’d forgotten she was there.

  ‘I’m sure. So, did you have girlfriends before her or-’

  ‘Jack, I think Dad’s calling you. He must need help with something’ Charlie broke in.

  Jack turned to look.

  ‘Are you sure? I can’t see him.’

  ‘He called from inside, just head in.’

  Jack looked disappointed but he tottered off.

  Charlie glanced at Amy.

  ‘That was gross.’

  Amy smiled knowingly. She’d had the measure of Jack from the off.

  ‘You don’t have to apologise. It happens.’

  Charlie looked sharply at Amy.

  ‘I wasn’t apologising. Just noting it.’

  That had come out slightly harsher than Charlie had intended. She rebuked herself internally. Above all, Charlie needed to be cool with Amy. Dispassionate at all costs.

  Charlie saw Maddie, champagne in hand, looking considerably more relaxed than she had at the start of the day, now that the ceremony was done. She was chatting to their mother. Charlie turned to Amy with renewed pep.

  ‘I guess it’s show time. Ready to meet my Mum?’

  ‘Can’t wait.’

  Amy smiled and took Charlie’s hand. Charlie had to fight the urge to snatch it away. After that passed, she relaxed into Amy’s gentle grip and they walked over to the bride.

  Maddie turned, excited to see ‘Lucy’ again.

  ‘Oh, hi, you two!’ She turned to Dawn, ‘Mum, have you met Lucy?’

  Dawn looked at Amy, slightly confused.

  ‘No, I haven’t…’

  ‘She’s Charlie’s girlfriend’ Maddie quickly reminded her.

  Amy put her hand out to Dawn, shaking it warmly.

  ‘Hello, Mrs Black, so pleased to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you all’ she said, looking from Dawn to Maddie. ‘I can’t believe it’s taken so long to make it official.’

  Dawn was immediately and obviously charmed. She loved nothing better than good manners.

  ‘Well, yes. Of course. Lucy. Of course I’ve heard of you. You’ll have to forgive the memory slip; it’s been a long day.’

  ‘I bet it has. My sister’s wedding was exhausting. God knows what it’s like when you’re actually the bride!’ she said, turning to Maddie.

  ‘Don’t get me started. Nothing seemed to go right this morning. Nothing!’ Maddie said with a cackle.

  ‘Well, you couldn’t tell. The ceremony was lovely’ said Amy.

  ‘Yes, it was’ added Dawn. She turned to Amy. ‘That’s a beautiful dress, Lucy.’

  Amy looked down at the dress absently.

  ‘Thank you. Not a patch on the brides, of course’ she said to an appreciative Maddie. ‘And I love your hat, Dawn’ she said sincerely.

  ‘Oh, well, thank you Lucy’ Dawn replied with obvious pleasure, touching her lavish hat. Doubts had crept in about the hat since she’d bought it and Lucy’s compliment had been just what she needed to dispel them. She was clearly a stylish girl. ‘It was from Marks and Spencer’s.’

  From there, Dawn went on to describe the nightmare she’d had trying to find shoes to match. Amy listened as though it were fascinating.

  Charlie watched in amazement as Maddie and her mother chatted with Amy. She’d expected Maddie to be nice, she could be relied upon to be a human being most of the time, but her mother’s reaction was unprecedented. She’d never seen this kind of warmth directed at any former girlfriend. It had always been polite, Dawn would never not be civil, but right now she was actually smiling at Lucy like she was someone she liked. Like she was family. Gary had been right, Charlie mused. Amy was good.

  Taking a step back from the situation, she understood why her mother would like Amy. She was being incredibly amiable with people she’d only just met and somehow she made it look natural.

  The scene took Charlie back to her teenage years. Thinking about it, hadn’t this always been Amy’s particular brand of magic? People had always liked her. It went beyond the fact of beauty. She was just easy and pleasurable to be around. That’s what had made her the queen of Harewood.

  Charlie was beginning to remember that was what had made her fall in love with her twice over. First, the Amy she’d loved from afar. And then the Amy she’d gotten to know. It was the first nice thought she’d had about Amy since she’d met her an hour ago. It was short-lived.

  Because then she started to think about what a sucker she’d been to fall for it. It was an act. That’s all it had ever been. The Amy that had looked at her in the hallway and pretended she was nothing, that was the real Amy. She had to remind herself that whatever the day held, she wouldn’t forget that. Seventeen-year-old Charlie had been a mug. Twenty-eight-year-old Charlie, well, she wasn’t going to pretend she was smart now. But she was a little less stupid at least. She could appreciate Amy’s possibly psychopathic ability to charm the birds from the trees, but she wouldn’t forget who she was dealing with. She wasn’t Lucy. She was Amy Sinclair, breaker of hearts.

  Then she saw her mother turn briefly away from the chat she was having with Amy and give her a quick thumbs up. Charlie had never seen her mother do that gesture in her life. Charlie felt a sense of elation. For once, her mother thought she’d gotten it right.

  A voice called from inside the reception hall.

  ‘Please make your way inside the building.’

  Charlie and Amy walked back into the newly dressed reception hall with the crowd and both of them paused to take it in. The beautiful, airy, exposed brick room was now dressed for the event in teal and grey.

  ‘Bloody hell, this is fancy’ Charlie blurted.

  Amy smiled.

  ‘It’s very nice. And I’ve been to enough weddings to know.’

  Charlie felt a nervous spasm and realised immediately what had caused it. Amy was talking about her job, which no doubt involved a lot of weddings. It was a small character break but it took Charlie by surprise. She wasn’t supposed to do that. She’d been promised that this would not happen. She shot Amy a quick, angry glance.

  ‘Watch what you’re saying’ she whispered below the register of the rest of the congregation.

  Amy didn’t understand for a second and then it clicked in. She’d been misunderstood.

  ‘You go to a lot of weddings when your family is as big as mine. Two brothers, three sisters, a lot of cousins, I’m going to at least two a year’ she said at normal volume.

  Charlie felt immediately stupid. Everything she’d said was bang on for the real Lucy. She had indeed come from a big family. Even though she’d never met them, there had been pictures all over her flat. She supposed that should have been a clue as to how Lucy had seen their relationship. She was close to her family, but never thought of introducing Charlie to them.

  Charlie tried to reply normally to Amy’s save.

  ‘Right. Yeah.’

  As people began to filter in behind them, Charlie turned to Amy and gave her a whispered ‘Sorry’.

  Amy smiled briefly, letting her know it was fine. But the glitch concerned her.

  Amy had never had a moment in any previous engagement where her client thought she was breaking character. And that’s because she never did. She was extremely careful about that. She was on the job as Lucy. She wasn’t Amy, never Amy. She didn’t forget that for a moment. Yet Charlie had thought she had. She’d thought she’d found a screw up because she was looking for it. Maybe even wanted it. Because she was angry with her.

  Amy couldn’t have that. To pull this off, it wasn’t enough for Amy to do her job perfectly. The client had to commit to it fully or it didn’t work.

  She knew what she had to do.

  ‘Charlie, I just need to go outside for a second. My phone’s not getting reception and I just want to check everything’s OK with the cat sitter.
Nutmeg has been off her food lately.’

  Charlie nodded, partly confused, partly marvelling at the fact that Amy had managed to memorise the name of Lucy’s cat.

  ‘OK…’

  Amy headed out. Charlie sat down at her assigned table, with the other bridesmaids and their boyfriends (or in Jane’s case, her daughter) and her phone rang. She didn’t recognise the number.

  ‘Hello?’

  Amy’s voice spoke sharply.

  ‘Say you’re going to the bathroom and then meet me outside’ Amy instructed.

  Charlie didn’t say anything for a second.

  ‘Did you hear me?’

  ‘Yes. Alright then.’

  What the hell was Amy playing at? Should she do as she was told? She balked at the thought. But there was something in Amy’s voice that seemed serious. Somehow, Charlie didn’t want to mess with that tone.

  After Charlie had muttered something about needing to visit the whizz palace to her uninterested table mates, she slipped past the toilet doors and out the entrance.

  She glanced around the grounds until she saw Amy, poking her head around the corner of the building, nodding her over. Charlie, still mystified, trotted over.

  Amy got straight to business.

  ‘OK. By my reckoning we’ve got five minutes until the first course is served, so everyone will be seated and all the staff will be very busy. We won’t be overheard.’

  ‘What the hell are you talking about?’

  Amy fixed her with a stern look.

  ‘I’m talking about being on the same page. You need to get your head on straight. I can’t do my job properly if you’re trying to trip me up.’

  Charlie’s eyebrows shot up.

  ‘Trying to trip you up? Why would I do that? I need this more than you do.’

  ‘That’s right. You do. You should keep that in mind. That I’m here to help you.’

  ‘Right. So what the hell are we doing out here, behaving insanely suspiciously?’

  ‘Because if we don’t have this conversation now, this whole thing could go to hell quicker than you think.’

  Charlie was angry now. Amy was trying to give her a dressing down. The bloody cheek of it.

  ‘What, because everyone is going to figure out that I hired someone to play Lucy? Don’t be such a bloody drama queen.’

  Amy gave Charlie a searching look.

  ‘Is that what you think you hired me for? To pretend to be Lucy?’

  Charlie shrugged, perplexed and furious.

  ‘Well, you’re not here to make balloon animals, are you? You’re paid to be Lucy. So just do your job!’

  Amy gave a cynical laugh. She was getting more than a little annoyed herself now.

  ‘My job, Charlie, is to make you look good in front of your family. To make you look like a person who can maintain a functioning relationship.’

  Charlie looked gobsmacked at that and Amy realised she’d hit a nerve. She wished she could take the comment back. She was surprised she’d made it at all. She’d never said anything so personal to a client before. It was unprofessional.

  ‘I don’t mean that. I don’t know anything about your life.’

  ‘That’s right. You don’t’ said Charlie. She was trying not to get upset about what Amy had said. But it was a tall order.

  Amy took a deep breath.

  ‘I know Gary gave you the spiel already, so I’m not going to labour this point. But we need to work together here. I’ll do my job, but I can’t do it without you. We can’t allow any personal history to get in the way.’

  Charlie was startled.

  ‘So you admit that you know who I am.’

  Amy sighed. This wasn’t the time. But there was no getting around it. She was going to have to say it.

  ‘Yes. I remember you. Of course I do. I apologise for pretending I didn’t. I was just a bit shocked.’

  Charlie nodded, satisfied. It was something.

  ‘Right. Good. OK.’

  Amy waited, thinking there might be more. But Charlie seemed done with the topic.

  ‘You want me to work with you, I’ve got it. You’re Lucy. Nobody else.’

  Amy nodded.

  ‘As far as I’m concerned, Amy Sinclair doesn’t exist.’ She smiled ironically to herself. ‘Funny how things have a way of coming full circle, isn’t it?’

  Amy tried unsuccessfully to think of a way to reply to that. But Charlie had no intention of letting her say anything else.

  ‘Relax, OK? It’s just a joke. I’m over it.’

  Amy decided to accept her assertion.

  ‘Great.’

  They stood for a second, looking at the field that connected to the grounds of the hotel. Amy sighed.

  ‘Why don’t we take a breath, get ourselves back in the right head space.’

  Charlie nodded, gratefully. She really did need a moment. This whole thing had spiralled. Because she was letting it. Amy was right. She was stuck on their former relationship and if she didn’t get over it, she was going to make this day weirder than it already was.

  And maybe there was something to what Amy had said. The way her Mum had warmed to Amy, it had made her feel good, she couldn’t deny that. That thought caused Charlie to realise something. Today could be about more than not admitting an embarrassing truth. It could be something positive.

  If Amy did her job, she could wash away a lot of the doubts Charlie knew her family had about her ability to navigate adult life. Even when she told them later that it hadn’t worked out with ‘Lucy’, they’d still know she’d been able to get someone as fabulous as Amy was playing her to be, to fall in love with her. It would be something in the tick column for a change. It would be a win. And she was starting to realise how badly she needed one of those.

  She made a decision. She was going to do her best to sell this thing. She was going for the Oscar.

  ‘Ready to go back in?’ Amy asked. She held out her hand.

  Charlie looked up at Amy, at Lucy, and smiled back. She took her hand warmly, as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

  ‘Let’s go’ said Charlie.

  They walked hand in hand back into the reception hall, sitting down just before the starters (deep fried camembert) were presented to them.

  Chapter Eight

  By the time the main course arrived, Charlie was starting to feel steadier. She was settling into the performance.

  Amy could see it. She was loosening up. She was no longer the edgy, passive aggressive creature she’d been at the start of the day. She couldn’t say that Charlie looked like she was having fun exactly. But she was leaning into it. Throughout the main course, Charlie was managing to be chatty and engaged with Amy, as well as her table mates.

  In fact, Amy was slightly amazed at how well Charlie was suddenly taking to simulating the relationship. For example, as people began to tuck into the main course, Amy looked over at Charlie’s salmon with envy. She’d been given the vegetarian option because Maddie had never received the RSVP from Charlie. She had other things to think about so she simply allotted her a safe option. But Amy would have loved the salmon. And according to the file, Lucy was a carnivore so Amy felt safe mentioning it.

  ‘That looks great.’

  Charlie put a forkful in her mouth.

  ‘It is. Is the tart not good?’

  ‘No, it’s lovely.’

  ‘But you’d prefer the salmon?’

  Amy shrugged.

  ‘The grass is always greener. This is still delicious.’

  Charlie barely thought about it. She grabbed hold of her and Amy’s plate and swapped them over. Amy put a hand out to stop her but Charlie’s mind was made up.

  ‘No arguments. I was wondering about yours, anyway.’

  Amy was genuinely touched.

  ‘You didn’t need to do that.’

  Charlie shrugged and started to dig into the tart.

  ‘I think I’ve won the lottery here. The tart rocks.’

  An
d Charlie was like that throughout the meal. She was the picture of an attentive, thoughtful girlfriend. Which made Amy’s job a lot easier.

  And Charlie reaped the rewards of Amy’s skills as the plates were taken away. Lilah, sitting opposite, suddenly leaned over to Charlie and said ‘That dress is nice. But I hope you didn’t feel like the odd one out, what with us all wearing the peach.’

  Charlie had to give it to Lilah. The woman was good. It was the kind of cloaked comment that would slide by other ears as genuine. But Charlie felt a dig underneath it. She considered her potential retorts.

  Passive aggressive: ‘Well, we can’t all pull off that colour. Can we, Lilah?’

  Confident: ‘If you don’t mind being upstaged, I don’t mind feeling left out.’

  Or lastly, the most direct yet artless reply: ‘Fuck off, Lilah’.

  In the end, Charlie just mumbled ‘No, I don’t mind.’

  Lilah, sensing weakness, was not even close to done with Charlie.

  ‘It’s a shame. It looks so good on the rest of us. Was it just not right for your shape?’

  Charlie felt like the entire table was now awaiting her reply. She felt like a misfit, which she supposed was exactly what Lilah wanted for some reason. A hot flood of shame began to course through her veins.

  ‘Erm, it wasn’t, I didn’t…’ Charlie began to stutter.

  Amy, who had been watching this exchange with a total understanding of the bullshit that Lilah was trying to pull, could take no more. She’d spent enough time with the Lilah’s of the world to know a bully when she saw one. In her teens, she would never have intervened, taking a sort of nature documentarian approach to such a thing. If a jackal wanted to eat an antelope, who was she to interfere? That was nature.

  But Amy was older now. And Charlie needed her.

  ‘I, for one, am thrilled she didn’t end up in the peach.’

  She turned to Charlie and leaned into her.

  ‘You look hot in red’ she said, with discreet lascivity.