The Rom-Com Collection: The Plus One, Something for the Weekend, A Marriage of Connivance

by Natasha West

  Jordan and Zoe turned to see Ellie, looking sheepish.

  Jordan looked from Ellie to Zoe and she thought ‘It’s not enough that they’re getting back together? They’ve got to come to my work and do it in front of my sodding eyes?!’

  Jordan turned quickly away, calling out ‘Dave!’ She needed to get the fuck out of here. But Dave wasn’t playing ball. Ironically, he was far too busy playing with his actual ball to come when called. He was chewing the orange fuzz off it, really going to town. Jordan was stuck here until he was finished, between Ellie and Zoe. Otherwise known as hell on earth.

  And then Zoe said an odd thing.

  ‘I’m actually here for Caitlin. She texted me, asking me to meet her here so I could get my house keys back. What the hell are you two doing here?’

  ‘That’s true’ Ellie said. ‘You are here for Caitlin. But not like you think.’

  Zoe looked as confused as Jordan felt.

  And bang on cue, along came Caitlin. She looked at the group on the common and considered asking what was going on. But she didn’t have the energy. She just wanted to deal with this and go.

  ‘Zoe, I don’t have your keys, alright? I tried to tell you that but you weren’t replying to my texts. So now I’m here and I’m telling you, I don’t have them. I left them in the flat. Your flat.’

  ‘I didn’t text you. You texted me!’ Zoe replied.

  Jordan was watching this exchange in utter bewilderment.

  Ellie coughed loudly to break this pointless conversation up. It was time to do what she’d come here for.

  ‘I texted you both’ she explained.

  Three heads swivelled.

  ‘What?’ Jordan, Zoe and Caitlin said simultaneously.

  ‘For crying out loud! Didn’t anyone wonder why they didn’t recognise the number?’

  There was some burbling from Zoe and Caitlin in reply, trying to account for the stupidity. But it was difficult to explain. If they’d had their brains switched on, they would indeed have thought that was odd. But they’d both been too distraught to notice, too desperate to see each other. Even if it was only one last time.

  ‘Why would you do that?’ Caitlin asked, confused.

  ‘I gathered you all together because I need to clear some things up. Firstly, Caitlin and Zoe. I need to explain something, something that you need to know before you decide if you want to split up. But before we go any further, I want you to know that it was my idea. Jordan came along for the ride but I started it. So if anyone wants to press charges, it’s my name that should be given to the police. I was the ringleader.’

  This got Zoe and Caitlin’s full attention. They couldn’t imagine what kind of story would need such a legal disclaimer. And then they listened to the saga. The tires, the sperm, the fake job offer, the ‘accidental’ meetings, the engagement that never was. Ellie laid it all out for them. The whole insane, shocking story.

  After it was over, Caitlin and Zoe were both quiet for a second. And then Ellie noticed the vein in Zoe’s neck, the vein that meant a serious fury was en route, was throbbing like an over inflated balloon.

  Then it came. The explosion.

  ‘WHY IN THE NAME OF FUCK DID YOU DO ALL THIS TO US!!!’ Zoe yelled at Ellie.

  There would have been a time that Zoe’s anger would have cowed her. That time was gone.

  ‘I was hurt. And jealous. And angry. And humiliated!’ Ellie bellowed back.

  But Zoe wasn’t fazed by the new Ellie. She was too angry.

  ‘That doesn’t give you the RIGHT-’

  Caitlin put a hand on Zoe’s arm and Zoe’s words fell away. ‘Zoe’ Caitlin said calmly. ‘Take a deep breath.’

  Zoe looked to Caitlin, beginning to feel herself come down from her rage. She did as she was told. Her head was spinning. She needed a moment to adjust to the terrible idea that her life had been a play-thing to Ellie and Jordan.

  Once she was sure Zoe had calmed, Caitlin looked at Jordan.

  ‘You did all that?’

  Jordan nodded.

  ‘Yeah. You thinking about punching my lights out?’

  ‘A bit, yeah.’

  Caitlin took her own deep breath and turned to Ellie.

  ‘So why tell us now? You got what you wanted. Why confess?’

  ‘Because I don’t want that anymore’ Ellie explained. ‘I think you guys should probably give it a go. I think you’re actually kind of perfect for each other’ Ellie said. And she meant it. Watching the way that Zoe had been soothed by Caitlin’s hand, the concern that Caitlin had looked at Zoe with, maybe they weren’t living in the fantasy she’d thought. Maybe, in their selfish ways, they fit together.

  But Zoe wasn’t quite so ready to forgive.

  ‘Oh, you do, do you?’ Zoe asked sardonically, now beginning to feel her sap rise again. ‘Well, I guess that puts all the pieces back together, doesn’t it? Like none of it ever happened!’

  ‘I can’t take anything back, I know that. You’ve got every right to be angry.’

  Caitlin shrugged.

  ‘I’m not angry, if anyone’s interested.’

  Zoe turned to her in amazement.

  ‘You bloody well should be!’

  ‘But, I’m not’ she said philosophically. ‘I fucked everything up. Again. Me. I had a helping hand courtesy of these two’ she nodded at Ellie and Jordan ‘But it was still just me. And you.’

  Zoe wanted to argue. But Caitlin had apparently taken the lead on how this whole thing should be handled. And maybe she wasn’t completely wrong.

  ‘What are you saying?’ Zoe asked.

  ‘We’ve fucked this thing up twice now. Let’s not keep making the same mistakes. Let’s not fuck it up a third time. What do you think?’ Caitlin asked apprehensively.

  Zoe looked to Ellie, whom she was still deeply angry at. And Jordan, who was definitely asking for a slap around the face. And then she looked back at Caitlin. The woman was a selfish mess who’d hurt her more than anyone else had ever managed.

  But damn it if she didn’t just love her.

  She leaned in and kissed Caitlin passionately. Ellie and Jordan looked quickly away. ‘Talk about awkward’ Jordan thought.

  As they averted their gazes from their respective ex-girlfriends’ ardent reconnection, they caught each other’s eyes. It was the first time they’d really locked gazes during this crazy conversation. It was a naked look, a look of questions and answers. Ellie’s eyes were asking ‘Don’t you see why I’m doing this?’ And Jordan’s eyes were replying ‘Not a fucking clue’.

  And she really didn’t get it. All they’d done to get to this point, the weeks of scheming. And Ellie had chucked it all in a few minutes.

  ‘Shall we go home now?’ Zoe asked Caitlin. Caitlin nodded happily and they walked away, arm in arm. Ellie and Jordan were to be forgotten. That was the past. They had to think about the future now and whatever they could make of it.

  ‘I was thinking, maybe you’re right about the redecoration. I’m willing to give the pink a go, if you think it won’t shrink the space’ Zoe said as they walked away.

  Caitlin nodded, pleased.

  ‘That sounds good. But it’s not pink’ Caitlin said with a defiant smile. ‘It’s puce.’

  Ellie and Jordan were finally alone. Except for Dave, who was obliviously licking his bum nearby. It wasn’t quite the romantic backdrop Ellie had hoped for, but this was probably as good as it was going to get.

  ‘Why did you do that?’ Jordan asked.

  ‘Because I wanted you to understand a few things. And I didn’t want to just say them. I wanted to prove them. Firstly, I don’t want Zoe anymore. You had that all wrong. Caitlin is completely welcome to her. In fact, I hope they do get married and have a million babies. Because I couldn’t care less.’

  Jordan felt some uneasy rumblings in her stomach. Ellie had done this all for her. She’d thrown her revenge away. For her.

  ‘But you got upset when Zoe bought the ring…’

  ‘I wasn�
�t upset about that! I was upset because I was beginning to realise that I didn’t care about those two. I cared about you. But we’d spent so much time on all this ridiculousness, I didn’t think we could ever be together like a normal couple. That you’d ever be able to look at me and see anything other than the person whose ex ran off with your ex. And I wanted that more than anything. I want you more than anything. Not stupid revenge.’

  Jordan was dumbfounded.

  ‘That’s what you want? To be with me?’

  ‘Am I not making myself clear?’ Ellie said, taking a small step toward Jordan. But Jordan was frozen, scared to death. Everything she wanted was right in front of her. But some little voice still spoke a doubt into her ear.

  ‘I don’t know’ Jordan said. ‘Can you be crystal clear about your intentions, because I’d-’

  ‘I love you’ Ellie said. And then she kissed Jordan. And Jordan began to kiss her back, feeling her fear melt. She didn’t have to be scared of Ellie. Ellie loved her.

  ‘I love you too’ Jordan said between kisses.

  Ellie pulled her closer, intensifying the kiss. She didn’t care that they were in public. Jordan Payne loved her back. What could matter more than that?

  A few metres away, Dave watched the hot and heavy kissing, wondering when someone was going to throw his ball again.

  Chapter Twenty

  A few months later

  The stage was quiet, the curtains yet to be parted. The audience waited patiently. At last, the red drapes slid away to reveal a spotlight. A woman stepped into it and took a deep breath. With lungs filled to capacity, she began to belt out ‘The Hills are Alive’ to the packed-out theatre. Round and round she twirled as she gave the song her all, imbuing it with all the nun-ly passion she had. And when the last note finally left her mouth, the crowd clapped enthusiastically, pleased with the beautiful rendition of the classic theme.

  ‘Oh my god’ Jordan whispered, leaning over to Ellie in the front row. ‘Janice is killing it.’

  ‘I know!’ Ellie whispered back excitedly. ‘Julie Andrews, get your coat.’

  Jordan sniggered. A few dirty looks from the row behind was enough to shush her. She didn’t mind. Janice was owning the stage. And she couldn’t be happier to shut up and watch her, sat next to Ellie, hand in hand.

  In the interval, Jordan and Ellie knocked on Janice’s dressing room door. She shouted ‘Come in!’ and they opened the door to see Janice in the midst of a costume change.

  ‘Shut the door! I don’t want the plebs to get a look at my varicose veins. It’ll break the illusion.’

  They entered quickly and Jordan closed the door behind them.

  ‘Janice, we just had to come back here to tell you that you’re a total fucking rock star’ Jordan said.

  ‘Rock star? Is that good?’

  Ellie nodded and said ‘It’s Jordan-Speak for incredible.’

  Janice let out a relieved groan. She’d been so nervous all day; she’d barely eaten a thing.

  ‘So I’m doing OK?’

  ‘You’re doing a lot better than OK. It’s about time they gave you a decent part.’

  ‘You don’t think I’m a bit old for Maria?’ Janice asked.

  ‘Talent is talent’ Ellie assured her.

  ‘And who’s that guy playing Captain Vonn Trapp? You guys are sizzling up the stage together!’ Jordan added.

  Janice began to blush and said ‘Oh, yes. Sidney. He’s err, well, we....’

  ‘Janice, are you nailing your co-star?’ Jordan asked with delight.

  Janice didn’t immediately reply. Ellie started to laugh, startled.

  ‘She so is, isn’t she?’

  ‘You two better get out of here’ Janice said, interrupting the giggling before it could really start. ‘If you keep asking me about my love life, I won’t be able to look Captain Vonn Trapp in the eye when I’m on stage. I’ll be too embarrassed.’

  Ellie stood and said ‘Fine, we’ll shoo. But I want all the details later on.’

  Janice tutted but she knew there was no way out of it. They wouldn’t leave her alone until she was completely red in the face. But it was not the time for such thoughts. She was Maria right now. No time for Janice’s love life. ‘The show must go on!’ she thought as she turned back to the mirror.

  Jordan and Ellie left Janice to it and headed for the bar.

  ‘Oh, by the way’ Ellie said ‘The kids keep asking about you. They want you to come back.’

  ‘I’ll check my calendar. But between the pooches and trying to finish the graphic novel, I don’t have a ton of time for art lessons.’

  ‘When are you going to let me look at it? The suspense is killing me.’

  ‘Soon enough…’

  ‘Any hints on the story?’

  Jordan smiled. Maybe it was time to let Ellie know what she’d been working on.

  ‘All I’ll say is this. It’s a love story. With a twist. It’s about two people that don’t know they’re perfect for each other.’

  ‘Why don’t they know?’

  ‘Because they’re too busy trying to exact revenge on their exes’ Jordan explained.

  Ellie’s mouth dropped open.

  ‘It’s about us?!’

  ‘Yes. And no, you can’t look at it till it’s finished.’

  ‘I can’t believe I’m going to be in your graphic novel.’

  ‘The hardest part is capturing your beauty. But I’m working on it’ Jordan said.

  Ellie began to blush. Jordan saw how affected Ellie was by her comment. She didn’t want to get too into all that romantic stuff. She was still Jordan, after all.

  ‘So, anyway, I don’t know if I’ve got time to sit with the kids while they cover my jacket in paint.’

  Ellie pretended not to know that Jordan was changing the subject.

  ‘They’ll be very disappointed to hear that.’

  Jordan rolled her eyes, as though thoroughly put upon and said ‘Aright, fine. I guess I’ll have to find a slot somewhere.’

  But Ellie wasn’t fooled by Jordan’s tough act anymore.

  ‘Don’t pretend you don’t love it.’

  Jordan smiled at Ellie, pleased that Ellie knew her well enough to know when she was bluffing.

  ‘You’ve seen through me. I love the little buggers’ she admitted.

  ‘Then I can tell them you’re coming back?’

  ‘Sure. They can rely on me to come and teach them how to slop paint on a piece of paper. But quite honestly, I think they’ve got it covered.’

  ‘I think it’s just as much about you as it is the paint. The kids like you.’

  ‘And I like them’ Jordan said. ‘Oh, my god’ Jordan said suddenly. ‘I totally forgot to tell you! I saw something on Facebook this morning, friend of a friend of a friend liked something…’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You’re not going to believe this but Zoe’s quit the bank. Apparently her and Caitlin are going to travel Asia together.’

  Ellie’s jaw dropped.

  ‘No! Zoe wouldn’t even take a week off to go to Portugal with me!’

  Jordan smiled at Ellie.

  ‘Not jealous are you?’

  Ellie stopped in the hallway and grabbed Jordan by her leather jacket, pulling her close.

  ‘Not likely’ she said as she kissed Jordan. They began to have quite the heavy session.

  Just then, Janice came out of her dressing room, ready for the second act. She spotted Ellie and Jordan.

  She considered telling them to leave it till they got home. But they looked so blissful. Janice couldn’t bear to break them up. She was a sucker for young love. She always had been. Besides, the way those two were going at it, they probably wouldn’t have heard her if she’d screamed through a megaphone.

  Janice left Jordan and Ellie to it, snogging like a couple of teenagers, right in the middle of the amateur dramatics theatre hallway. Neither of them had expected to get this deep into the kiss but then again, this kind of thing tended to h
appen to them.

  But what could they do? Chemistry was chemistry.

  Other Books by Natasha West

  Hawke’s Prey

  Hawke’s Game

  Joined at the Hip

  A Mistletoe Moment