The Misadventures of Ka-Ron the Knight

by Donald Allen Kirch

  Dorian gazed into the elf's eyes, living on each word he spoke. After Rohan paused, the dwarf broke her stare, giving him an understandable nod of her head. A brief wind blew by, causing her gossamer hair to float up and around her face. Dorian's well-manicured hand gently brushed her hair away as she continued with her walk.

  Rohan meekly followed.

  "It is a well-established lie, as you can see."

  "But," Rohan said, stopping Dorian in his frustration, "why do you go to such elaborate schemes to hide your women? I do not understand. You are quite lovely. To hide you would be a crime against nature."

  Dorian let out an amused laugh.

  "Why?" Rohan insisted, desperate for an answer.

  Dorian stepped up to the elf.

  Again, they kissed.

  "I still seek an answer, woman." Rohan stated sternly.

  "And I seek another kiss as my price."

  "Done, woman." Rohan's face melted into mirth. "Done."

  Dorian's tongue was well-educated. Her kisses held both a tenderness and a hunger which pulled at the elf's hearts. Her hands slowly found their way down towards his bottom, and playfully squeezed. Although female, and still quite small, her hands held within them great strength and purpose.

  Rohan could barely contain himself.

  Both lost track of the time.

  When they parted, dawn was not too far behind them.

  "And now?" Rohan asked.

  Wiping her lips clean, Dorian settled down.

  Storytelling time.

  "Your people and those of both Ka-Ron and Jatel's call the time period The Coughing. Am I correct in this?"

  "Yes," the elf confirmed. "It was the great plague that almost extinguished all life. The Nowns, whom this world is still named after, were completely destroyed."

  "Well, we dwarfs have always referred to it as The Great Sickness."

  Rohan shook his head, accepting the simple but ancient logic of the thing.

  "Many uncounted seasons ago, during the time of The Great Sickness, dwarfs were as normal folk, openly displaying male and female sexes. But, as the deaths added up, we soon discovered that our females were immune. We worked peacefully with our neighbors doing what we could to ease the sufferings."

  "I see where this is going." Rohan awkwardly said.

  "Yes. As the people tried to survive, they soon realized that their female populations were dangerously low. Without women to bring forth children, there would be no future." Dorian paused, picking up a long stick, playing with it, nervously. "Our men were not warriors at that time. They knew only the mines."

  "There were&invasions?"

  "Yes." Dorian started poking a small ant hill with the point of her stick. "The beauty of dwarf women was well known, and sought out - mostly by slavers. It was thought best to retreat deep into the earth for a generation, which we did, and come out with only one sex - male."

  "Therefore, there were no more invasions."

  "Precisely." Dropping the stick, Dorian once more gazed into the elf's eyes. Unlike most women, she had no need for blinking. She had eyelids, but they were only for protection. This ability gave her the illusion of a mounting an intense stare. "Female dwarfs became first a memory, then a fable, and finally, we were forgotten."

  "But you must breed."

  Dorian's face started to blush. "Yes. We breed."

  "How is that maintained a secret?"

  "Do you go around broadcasting what you're doing when you make love?" Dorian asked, projecting a sly smile.

  "Well, no."

  "Then, elf, take it from me, we govern ourselves under the same decent rule of privacy."

  Rohan's brow turned troubled.

  "Can dwarfs breed with&elves?"

  The woman's stance started to buckle, and she momentarily stumbled, losing her footing. She regained her composure instantly.

  "It is said that if an elf were to search his family tree, a dwarf slave-woman is there...somewhere."

  "Oh." The elf turned silent.

  "Rohan&I&love you."

  The dwarf lowered her head and gazed down at her shoes. Rohan noticed that Dorian had closed her eyes, as if waiting for the fatal blow. It was not unlike dwarfs always to expect the worst in life. But in his travels he had learned that those who constantly seek the worst almost always hope for the best.

  She would not be disappointed.

  "I know," Rohan stated. "What shall we do about all of this?"

  Bouncing up, Dorian gazing deeply into Rohan's features. She studied him quite hard and with all her attention.

  "You do not protest?"

  "How could one protest such beauty?" the elf asked, letting his outstretched arms express the way he felt.

  "Upon my nose," Dorian cried, covering her mouth with shaky hands. "I have lived long enough to know a miracle."

  "Indeed," Rohan barked, playfully. "What will the neighbors think?"

  The woman jumped up and down, advertising to the elf all her "bouncy" parts for later enjoyment. They embraced in a loving hug and laughed for several beats.

  Soon, it was time to return to the Argo.

  ***

  "We must stop here, Rohan!" Dorian pleaded.

  Both the dwarf and Rohan were within sight of the Argo. They could clearly see that the wizard was pacing the deck, waiting for them to return. Ka-Ron and Jatel were spotted at the foot of the gangplank, dancing. By all appearance, everyone seemed to be having a delightful time.

  "It appears that everyone has struck up quite a delightful friendship with the local town folk," Rohan said. His features showed a light smile. He was happy over the fact that he was not the only one who had had such a magical night.

  "Rohan," Dorian said, her voice sad.

  "Yes?"

  "I have to turn back."

  Rohan's eyes turned careworn.

  "Do you have to continue this lie?" The elf paused, silently directing the dwarf's attention towards their friends. "Even now?"

  "One cannot change his life overnight, Rohan," Dorian pointed out. "And to stay this way would go against all that I have been taught, and most of what I have forgotten."

  "How will we&love?"

  Dorian beamed at the pure sound of frustration in the elf's voice. She understood. Her mother was the same way. Her mother loved being a woman, and hated the gruff image she had been forced to project while she was with her father, when they were out in public. Still, her mother did live for those private moments when the veils could be dropped, hoping above all hope to feel the joys of an honest love.

  That was all they had to look forward to.

  That was the life of a dwarf.

  "We will love as all who have loved, my dear," Dorian promised. "With passion."

  Before the elf could ruin the moment with logic, Dorian attacked him. Unaware, Rohan fell backward and landed upon his back. Both exploded into laughter.

  Dorian bent down, showering the elf's face with her long green hair. She blinked her eyes a couple of times, using them to help maintain the male's focus. With great skill and passion, the woman kissed Rohan lovingly, passionately, and wholly.

  Rohan's hands rubbed softly up and down the dwarf's back as she shifted from side to side, enjoying the firm wet universe that was their kiss. He had never been one to close his eyes while deep in desire, but he soon discovered that his partner was. Her gentle eyelashes became the focus of his attention, while the dwarf's tongue played a wrestling match with his. The elf was amazed that her saliva tasted a lot like honey. She was a treasure he would never let go of.

  "We must enjoy what we have, Rohan," Dorian proclaimed.

  Rohan started to breathe quite heavily.

  The elf soon noticed that Dorian had raised the skirt of her dress.

  The elf misunderstood.

  "No, my love!" Dorian placed a hand on the elf's. Tactfully, she stopped him from unbuttoning the front of his pants. "Not now. We have friends who need the best of our help."

  In
frustration, the elf silently pointed at the Argo and then at the two of them hidden in the tall weeds. He scowled, as if to silently state, "But we are nowhere to be seen! Why not? Who knows when I shall see you like this again?"

  Dorian understood, for her sex was informing her that she wanted Rohan as much as he wanted her. She would give up all her family gold to embrace him now, but, this was only a cheat. This moment was a proclamation, not a honeymoon.

  This was the binge before the famine.

  "I see my unborn children in your eyes," Rohan stated.

  "Honey, just enjoy the moment," Dorian begged, kissing him. "For now, that is all that we can have. When this quest is through, I will take you to my cave, and there we shall work on having those children."

  Rohan gave Dorian a satisfied smile.

  "You must prepare yourself," Dorian warned.

  A quick kiss was exchanged.

  Both returned to their feet.

  "I am ready," Rohan said. His face belied his words.

  Adjusting her clothing, Dorian hid the fact that her nipples were as hard as diamonds. Rohan did not need to see her true signals - not so soon in the relationship.

  Relationship! By my nose, I have a relationship.

  The ground around the dwarf started to feel electric. A blue hue surrounded the woman. Slowly, the dwarf closed her eyes.

  At first, Rohan saw the woman bloat, as if her flesh were decaying. Then, suddenly, her bones seemed to collapse. She shrank down to normal size. Her soft features turned hard. Her beard grew from her chin, becoming long full and quite dirty. Once more, she was Dorian, the male dwarf.

  She was now a he.

  "Let's find our adventure!" Dorian huffed, his hard and dry voice sounding as Rohan had first known it.

  "Let's," Rohan said, letting his friend take the lead.

  As if to destroy her beautiful true image, the dwarf bent down a little and let out a blast of foul gas from his shorts, leaving the elf to savor the sharpness of the air.

  "Heh-heh-heh!" Dorian laughed, running towards the Argo. "Onward."

  Rohan waved his hand in front of his face, trying his best not to breathe the odor.

  "Isn't love grand?" the elf huffed.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  Keeth was doing all that he could to fight the sleep his body demanded. He had been at the ship's wheel now for three suns. There were problems on board the ship. Molly and En-Don had their first fight as a couple. Ka-Ron and Jatel were fighting depression. And for some odd reason, Rohan and Dorian were spending way too much time in the cargo hold.

  Life on board a ship.

  The suns were only now beginning to set. The mornings were starting to become shorter than the nights, so Keeth could sense that they were getting near their ultimate destination. The sunken dwarf city was in the southern hemisphere, and there, nights were longer.

  "Dwarfs don't need the suns," the wizard yawned. "All they care about are their rocks."

  A smell hit the wizard.

  "We're close," he stated.

  Below the Argo, floating half-sunk and dashed upon rocks and sand in various degrees of decay, were what was left of all those who were listed as "lost."

  The Forgotten Sea was a graveyard of misery. A desert in the middle of an ocean, it was where all unfortunate vessels ended up, if they were stupid enough, or bold enough, to sail in these waters.

  "Poor souls," Keeth said, turning the ship's wheel so that the Argo could fly by them.

  These haunted waters had always been this way. It was a popular place for kings, church officials, and governments to send those who had proved to be a political problem. The Forgotten Sea was just that: a place in which to be forgotten.

  On a happier note, it was the first landmark which told the wizard that they were close to their goal. For now, that was all the old man could think of.

  The wizard knew that deep below him, there were those, with sad, sick, and defeated eyes staring up at the Argo. Eyes seeing the flying wooden ship, watching it pass high above them, seeking prayers for their salvation.

  All folly.

  The wizard made a silent promise: He would be back one day.

  The Argo moved on.

  She was two more suns away from her goal.

  ***

  "Wizard?"

  Keeth opened his eyes, discovering that he had been asleep at the ship's wheel for at least three cycles. He congratulated himself for anticipating trouble. Before he dropped off, he had placed the ship on automatic navigation.

  Ka-Ron placed a caring hand upon the wizard's shoulder.

  "Are you all right?"

  Keeth smiled and shook his head in a positive response. "Just tired," he said.

  "You should go rest."

  The man was too old and wise to fight with the truth. He informed the knight of their passing over the unfortunate sea, of the graveyard of ships they had passed, and of his course change before they reached their final landmark. At that time, the wizard advised Ka-Ron to place the Argo in sea-faring mode.

  Ka-Ron took it all in.

  Keeth had started to walk away, but paused. He noticed something. Ka-Ron was wearing a new dress.

  "Ka-Ron," the old man huffed, rubbing his eyes open. "You look marvelous."

  "Why, thank you, Keeth." The knight gave her friend a polite curtsy.

  "I must say you are appearing more and more to be enjoying your station in life."

  "Well," Ka-Ron confessed, making sure that only she and the wizard could hear what was being said, "I must confess that I am not disliking it. I never knew how wonderful the feelings of love were, within the confines of a female body."

  "Truly?"

  "Yes!" The knight laughed. Ka-Ron placed her hands upon the huge ship's wheel, giving the appearance of a young child being allowed to be in control. "I sometimes think the universe made a mistake in allowing me to be born a man."

  Keeth thought hard.

  "Hmmm. That is quite possible."

  "In what way?"

  "Oh," Keeth nervously huffed, waving his hands at the silly notion. "Just an old man thinking out loud."

  "Go get your rest, my friend."

  "I plan to." Keeth yawned. "Are you and Jatel still fighting the sadness?"

  "We are entitled to be sad," Ka-Ron pointed out, taking the straps off the wheel. "Parents should not watch their child grow old before their eyes. I worry about En-Don, my friend. I&" Ka-Ron started to cry, openly.

  The wizard placed a strong hand upon the knight's face.

  "If it is within my power, my dear, En-Don will live a rich and noble life. I promise this in the name of my order."

  Quite touched, Ka-Ron kissed the wizard's hand.

  "Go! Sleep!"

  Keeth could not argue. His eyes were shut before he reached his cabin door.

  ***

  Keeth had wanted to scream, but he had already hit the opposite side of his cabin wall, and knew that the expelled energy would have been a waste.

  Upon entering his cabin, the wizard was wickedly attacked by an unknown but highly powerful force. Bouncing off the cabin wall, upset at the fact that he had broke his only mirror, the wizard could barely make out the smell of sulfur.

  Keeth was being attacked by another wizard.

  "Get up, you bastard!"

  The wizard fought away the pain, and blinked the blood from his eyes. His back was killing him, and his feet hurt, but he wasn't going to give his attacker the satisfaction of seeing his discomfort.

  He knew who he was fighting.

  "Now, listen here, madam," Keeth stated, struggling to his feet. "It is not playing the field properly to strike a man when he is down."

  Kai glared at the old man, laughing. Her projected image was twice her normal size. Her intention was to look both dangerous and intimidating.

  Keeth was not amused.

  "Wizard, you have stood in the way of my satisfaction long enough."

  "There is little you can do, miss." Keeth
patted the wrinkles out of his cloak, adjusting his hat. "Ka-Ron and her friends are under my magical protection."

  "Protection?" Kai huffed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "You and your magic are nothing but a joke."

  "You are the joke!" the wizard yelled. He pointed a finger up at the Wicca Master, which caused her image to back off.

  "Me?"

  "Yes, you!" Keeth paused. His stomach was starting to act up via all the excitement. "How could you do such a thing to this woman?"

  "She was responsible for the death of my daughter."

  "Your daughter took her own life, madam, which goes to show her own faults in character."

  A thunderous roar filled the wizard's room.

  "Take caution, sir!"

  "Your daughter only cared for her own comforts. Suicide is the ultimate form of selfishness."

  Kai's face turned hard. She started to move her hands, wishing to cast a spell.

  This fact did not pass Keeth's attention.

  "Do not even think it!" the wizard warned.

  "Your magic is weak, wizard."

  "I am a wizard of a new art. I am a man of science."

  "Science, indeed!"

  Kai cast an evil-looking stream of orange energy towards Keeth. The wizard, in turn, started thinking up a counter-spell.

  Now, Keeth's magic was based on his personal knowledge of scientific fact. As the two waves of energy collided with each other, all the old man could do was panic. He thought of calling his friends to his aid, but what help would that have done? So, he tried the basics.

  "You are stalling, wizard." Kai laughed, feeling as if she was winning the fight. "I will reduce you to jelly."

  Keeth lost his footing and backed up against the wall he had collided with earlier. He winced, realizing that his left foot had stepped on a jagged edge of his now broken mirror.

  "Ah, drat!" Keeth cursed. "All I wanted was a little shut-eye."

  "I am increasing my energy, wizard." Kai bragged. "I shall be the victor."

  Keeth's eyes suddenly flashed with revelation.