Smile Like You Mean It

by S. J. McCoy

  Michael was recovering quickly. “A very rich lonely old man,” he said with a laugh.

  “Money doesn’t mean a thing compared to love and family.”

  His mom came and wrapped her arms around him. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that, Gabe.”

  He hugged her back, surprised how happy he was to understand it finally.

  She stepped back and winked at him. “You’re scaring me a little bit, too. Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

  He laughed. “Thanks Mom, but there’s no need to worry. I feel fine. In fact, I feel better than I have in years.”

  She hugged him again.

  “Given Gabriel’s revelation,” said Michael, “would you mind if I take him out to dinner, Mom? I can dig for the dirt that he won’t tell you and report back later.”

  She laughed. “Of course. You two take each other out. I’ll see you later.”

  The bar at the resort was busy; they were sitting in a booth Ben had managed to find them. He kept the place going pretty well through the winter, but now that spring was here, the weekends were really buzzing. Gabe wondered what it would be like once tourist season was in full swing. He smiled at the thought that he’d like to be around to see for himself. Michael peered over his menu at him. “What are you smirking about over there?”

  “Just enjoying myself, little brother. That’s all.”

  Michael lowered his menu. “Are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on? You’re smiling without anyone having to tell you to. And what you said back there, about me showing you what success looks like, was that some kind of joke?”

  Gabe shook his head. “Never been more serious in my life. It’s true, and I want to apologize. I worried about you, thinking that you might miss out on the important stuff, might make your life too small by coming back here. I couldn’t have been more wrong, and you couldn’t have been more right. All the important stuff is right here, and you’re living it well.”

  “Wow! Just wow. I don’t know what else to say. I guess, thank you? But I also kind of want to say I’m sorry.”

  Gabe smiled. He loved his brother, and the one thing he knew Michael would never say was, ‘I told you so.’ Even though he had every right to. “Thanks, Michael. Don’t be sorry for me, though. Just keep an eye on me as I pick my way through this? I’m bound to fuck up as I figure it out, and I’d appreciate a kick in the ass when you think I need it.”

  Michael laughed. “Now that I can help you with. It’ll be my pleasure. You want to tell me what’s brought this on?” He raised an eyebrow. “Or not?”

  Gabe had decided that he did. The server came to take their order, and once she’d left, he nodded slowly. “I’m not sure I fully understand it myself yet, but I’ll try. You know how I’ve been these last couple of months?”

  “Out of sorts, grumpy, and coming home every weekend? I know that much.”

  “Yes. All of that and feeling like nothing means anything. I don’t get excited about work anymore. I just settled a big case yesterday, and it was just kind of ho-hum, you know?”

  Michael cocked his head to one side. “What was the case?”

  “Carradon. What does it matter?”

  “It matters because you get so invested when there’s a cause or some kind of injustice involved. I can see you feeling ho-hum when it’s simply a matter of money, but when there is a wrong to be righted you’re all over it.”

  Gabe considered that. “Well, going by that I should be over the moon about getting Carradon to settle. They’ve offered a huge payout to the families involved, and they’re overhauling their whole manufacturing process. To be honest, the terms of the settlement are even better than I realistically could have hoped for in court. Turns out a few of their executives were uncomfortable with the direction they were taking. The suit we filed gave them the opportunity to step up and make some major changes that shareholders would never have agreed to otherwise because of the costs involved.” He shrugged. “Now I put it like that, I really should be elated. It’s a great result. But it doesn’t rock my world the way it would have not so long ago.”

  “Do you know why?”

  He nodded. “I think I’m starting to understand, yeah.”

  “Care to share?”

  Gabe let out a big sigh. “Someone pointed out to me today that love and family and happiness are the things that matter most in life.” He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers into his temples then looked back at Michael. “And I don’t have any of them. They’ve never even been on my priority list. Hell, I don’t even know how to have fun anymore.”

  Michael waggled his eyebrow. “Those paralegals you date sound like a lot of fun.”

  Gabe shook his head. “I don’t date them. I just screw them. And they’re mostly lawyers, if you don’t mind. I don’t remember the last time I ever shared anything more than dinner and a quick fuck with a woman.”

  “And you say that like it’s a bad thing?”

  “It feels like a bad thing. It never did before. But now I don’t want it anymore, I want…” What did he want?

  “More?” asked Michael. “Love and family and happiness perhaps?”

  Gabe nodded. Apparently he did.

  The server came back with their food. Michael smothered his burger with ketchup as he asked, “And can I ask who helped you on your way to this epiphany?”

  This was the part Gabe was less sure about sharing. He picked at his fries before looking up to meet Michael’s gaze.

  Michael grinned. “Sorry, big brother, but your hesitation and the look on your face tell me this is where it gets interesting.”

  Gabe had to laugh. “You got me. I’m struggling to catch up with myself here, so go easy on me, will you?”

  “Tell you what. How about I make it real easy for you? I won’t even make you tell. I’ll tell you that it was Renée Nichols. And although you think you’ve only realized all this stuff today, Renée has been on your mind for weeks now. Thinking about her has made you re-evaluate everything else in a different light.”

  It was Gabe’s turn to stare openmouthed at his brother. “How the hell do you know that, when I wasn’t fully aware of it?”

  Michael grinned. “I’m not just a pretty face, you know. That first night you came to the resort with me, when me and Meggie still hadn’t quite got it together, you spent most of the night sitting at the bar watching Renée. You didn’t talk to her much, didn’t even interrogate her like you do everyone else. You just sat and watched her. You’ve been back pretty much every weekend since then, and you’ve spent most of your time in the bar.” He laughed. “Until she started working in the bakery and then all of a sudden Mr. My-Body-is-a-Temple Gabe, becomes a frigging doughnut lover!”

  Gabe had to laugh. It was so true. But if Michael hadn’t pointed it out, he would never have figured it out for himself.

  “What I want to know is what you’re going to do about it.”

  Gabe shook his head. That was the question he’d been avoiding since he and Renée had left the river this afternoon. He’d known he was attracted to her, not just physically, but in so many ways. That didn’t mean he had to do anything about it though. When he’d taken her home and seen her place—seen how she was living—his mind had screamed the question. What could he do about it? When she’d told him that he could find personal success, told him that he could do anything in the world he wanted, he’d had to leave. He had to leave, because, in that moment, he’d wanted nothing in the world more than to kiss her and see where it went. There were so many reasons he couldn’t do that.

  He looked at Michael. “I can’t do anything about it. She’s married.”

  “To a guy who cheated on her, stole from her, and is now locked up. I don’t see that as a major obstacle.”

  “Even if it wasn’t. She lives here; I live in New York. I want to help her out; she doesn’t want to feel like a charity case. There are so many reasons not to even think about it.”

  �
�But you can’t stop thinking about it anyway, can you?”

  Gabe shook his head. “And I’m having lunch with her again tomorrow.”

  “You’ll work it out.”

  “Maybe.” Gabe was starting to wonder whether he was just getting carried away. Maybe he was just thinking from his pants? No. He knew that wasn’t true, though he wouldn’t deny there was definitely a large influence down there. He’d had enough of talking about it for now. He’d made some major shifts today, and he needed time to process it all. “Anyway. I’ve opened up enough for one day. Can we move on?”

  Michael nodded. “’Course we can, mate. There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you. When Meggie and I finally do get around to tying the knot, would you be my best man?”

  Gabe cleared his throat before he replied. What was with all these emotions today? He hadn’t felt this much in one day in as long as he could remember. He didn’t even want to deny the swell of love and pride in his chest as he said, “I’d be honored to.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Renée checked the clock again. Sunday mornings were usually so busy in here that they flew by. Today was dragging though, and she didn’t want to admit that it was because she was counting the minutes till closing. After the way he’d left her place last night, she wasn’t sure if Gabe was still coming for lunch. She kept telling herself it would be better if he didn’t. She found him far too attractive; he made her imagination run wild. She’d do well to remember that she was still married, and Gabe was only a visitor here. He didn’t live here, and she didn’t know that she would once the whole mess with Eric and the court case was resolved. There was no point daydreaming about Gabe; her life was too much of a mess, and he was out of her reach anyway.

  She smiled when she saw Kenzie outside the bakery. As different as the two of them were, they’d become quite close since they’d traded jobs. Kenzie was now the bar manager at the resort and was engaged to Chase, the lead singer of the band. Renée couldn’t help envying her as she watched her kiss her fiancé and pat his backside before he carried on walking down to the Boathouse. The two of them were made for each other, it was so obvious. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be with someone who was perfect for you? And no, she was not thinking about Gabe again. Not at all.

  “Hey, girlfriend.” Kenzie smiled as she came in. “Since you hardly ever come into the bar, I’m here to visit you again.”

  “Then we both win,” said Renée. “When I come to see you, you try to fill me with booze, which I don’t like. When you come to see me, I try to fill you with cookies which you love!”

  Kenzie laughed. “You’ve got a point there.” She was eyeing the batch of double chocolate fudge brownies Renée had just pulled from the oven. “I need at least two of those.”

  “I’d love to know where you put them,” said Renée as she handed one over. Kenzie had been nothing but skin and bones when Renée first met her. She was still tiny, but she at least looked healthy now. Renée knew that was mostly down to Chase who seemed to do most of the cooking at their house and often came in here to buy Kenzie goodies.

  Kenzie shrugged and moaned as she bit into the brownie. “God, this is amazing! I guess it’ll all catch up with me one day. I’m still getting the hang of eating every single day. It seems weird to me, but Chase insists. I know I shouldn’t be eating these things all the time, but, until I wake up twenty pounds heavier one morning, I’m going to enjoy it while I can!”

  “It’s so not fair,” said Renée. “You can eat whatever you like and you’re so svelte, while I’m a big girl no matter what I do.” She had lost a lot of weight these last few months due to all the stress, but she was never going to be slim. She just wasn’t made that way and it didn’t really bother her. Her attitude had always been that she was what she was; take it or leave it.

  Kenzie frowned at her. “Why do we women always bitch about what we’re not instead of celebrating what we are? I’m naturally skinny; you’re naturally rounded. What does it really matter?”

  “It really doesn’t. I was just envying you that brownie.” Renée picked out a large one for herself. “So instead of wishing and whining, I’ll just have one.” She stuck her tongue out at Kenzie before taking a bite of the delicious gooey chocolate. She moaned as she savored the taste.

  “I know! Isn’t it? It’s just about orgasmic.”

  Renée sputtered chocolate crumbs as she laughed. “I can’t say I fully remember. It’s been so long, but I’m pretty sure this is better than any orgasm I ever had!”

  Kenzie stopped munching and stared at her. “That may be the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  Renée laughed, feeling a little embarrassed that she’d admitted that.

  Kenzie’s grin returned. “So why aren’t you getting it on with the sexy Gabe yet? I’d have thought he’d be giving you all the orgasms you could handle by now.”

  Renée felt all the color drain from her face. “What…what do you mean?”

  Kenzie gave her a sly look. “Don’t play the innocent with me. The guy is gorgeous, and he’s got the hots for you big time. Who do you think gave him your number?”

  “You gave him my number? When?”

  Kenzie looked worried now. “I shouldn’t have? I thought you two were old friends. I’m sorry.”

  “No, no need. It’s fine.” It was, wasn’t it?

  Kenzie gave her a puzzled look. “You mean he hasn’t called you?”

  Renée shook her head, feeling as puzzled as Kenzie looked.

  “Maybe he’s just building up the nerve?”

  Renée made a face; they both knew Gabe Morgan had all the nerve he needed.

  “Well, I heard he’s here again this weekend. Maybe he’ll call and take you out?”

  “No, you’re right. He’s just an old friend.”

  Now it was Kenzie’s turn to make a face. “Whatever you say, but, if he doesn’t get his act together soon, let me know. There are lots of guys around here who’d love to make you feel better than a brownie ever could.”

  “McKenzie Reid! You’re the only person I know who can make me blush!”

  Kenzie laughed. “Then Gabe had better hurry up and get his act together, or I’ll introduce you to a guy who will turn you beetroot from head to toe with the things he’ll say to you. And that’s before he gets started on the things he’ll do to you.”

  Renée had no interest in a guy like that, but she did wish Gabe would at least let her know what was going on. The fact that he’d asked Kenzie for her number was only fueling her overactive imagination that perhaps he really was attracted to her. And all this talk about orgasms had her wondering again about the possibility of adding some benefits to their friendship—if they still had one after the way he’d left last night.

  Chapter Five

  Gabe had to park a block away from the bakery. As he got out of the rental car he looked up at the sound of his name being called. He grinned when he saw Kenzie waving at him. He had to admit that he wouldn’t normally give a woman like her the time of day. She was brazen—hell, trashy was the word he would have used to describe his soon-to-be sister-in-law’s sister. But she was good people. Maybe he was changing in more ways than one. A woman he would normally have judged and dismissed on sight, was about to become part of his family, and more than that, he realized, she was becoming a friend.

  “How’s it going? Ethan tells me that you’re staying.”

  Her whole demeanor softened when she smiled. “I am. It seems my running days are over. Chase asked me to marry him.”

  “Wow!” Gabe tried to hide his surprise. He had no clue what to say. “Erm. Congratulations!”

  Kenzie laughed. “Yeah, I’m pretty shocked too. Even I didn’t have me down as the marrying kind.”

  Gabe felt bad. He wouldn’t have said it, but she must have sensed his surprise.

  Kenzie put a hand on his arm. “Don’t sweat it, sugar. I know what I am, or, at least what I was, until I met Chase. That man and this place have worked
their magic on me. I’ve got everything I never thought I wanted, and I’m happier than I ever thought I could be.” She gave him a shrewd look. “It seems life does that to people sometimes.”

  Gabe met her gaze.

  She laughed. “And I’m guessing you might be about to find that out for yourself.”

  He frowned at her.

  “The intimidating stare isn’t going to work on me, Gabe. You might have everyone else fooled, but I can see right through the tough shell to the softie underneath. It takes one to know one, right?”

  Gabe had to laugh. “Apparently, but I think I’m more surprised than you were to discover I even have an inner softie!”

  Kenzie nodded. “Take your time. I’ll be honest, it’s scary as shit! But it’s worth it. Now get your ass into that bakery, and take my girl out. Just treat her nice, okay? She doesn’t have the same self-preservation instincts that you and I do. You could break her without even knowing it.”

  That took him by surprise. He thought of Renée as strong, smart, and capable.

  Kenzie shook her head at his expression. “I’m talking about her heart, stupid. She’s tough as old boots and will come through this court case and everything just fine. But she’ll put her heart and soul on the line, and a guy like you could trample all over them without ever knowing.”

  Gabe didn’t know what to say to that. It was already difficult enough trying to figure out what he could or should do. Here was Kenzie adding a whole new angle. The possibility that he could hurt Renée? Was that a risk he even wanted to take? She was already going through so much; he wouldn’t want to add to her troubles in any way.