Lost in Love: A Contemporary Christian Romance (Modern Conveniences Book 3)

by Leah Atwood

  “It was, but it’s not for me. Not anymore.” The nonchalance with which he made the statement seemed odd.

  “Where all did you travel to?”

  They stepped up to the porch and stood by the door while Sean answered. “Too many places to name them all. Some of my favorites were Dubai, Rio, Sydney.”

  “A world traveler then.”

  He opened the door for her and followed her through. “The last few years, yes. I loved seeing the world, but I’m ready to stay on American soil for a while.”

  “You can drape your coat over the bannister.” She pointed past the foyer and down the hall. “The kitchen is this way.”

  “This is a great house. I love the old architecture.” His head constantly moved, observing all the details.

  “Me too. Much of the framework, trim and accents are original. Only a few pieces have been changed over the years, and those were only for safety purposes.”

  “Do you mind if I ask how you came about owning it?” They walked into the kitchen, and he ran a hand over the roughhewn doorframe.

  He’d given her the perfect lead-in to the conversation she wanted to have. “My great Aunt left it to me. She passed away last year.”

  “Were you close to her?”

  “No.” The question always made her uncomfortable. “She was… unique. While she loved Crosswinds and her guests, she was a loner outside of this place.”

  “It was generous of her to leave it to you.”

  She pulled leftover beef and barley stew from the refrigerator. “It came as an unexpected blessing at a time I needed it the most.” Snapping the lid off the bowl, she took a deep breath. “I’m not sure I’ll get to keep it, though.”

  “Why not?” He leaned against the counter, his arms casually crossed over his chest.

  “There are a few stipulations that have to be met. Two aren’t a problem, but the third is.” She dumped the contents of the bowl into a pot and turned on a burner.

  “Did she say you have to be married first, or name your firstborn after her?” His lazy smile turned into a laugh.

  “Actually…” She’d started down that path, but now she couldn’t bring herself to tell him the truth. Not making eye contact, she busied herself stirring the stew.

  “Oh wow.” Sean edged closer to her. “It really is one of those two, isn’t it?”

  Feeling jittery, she pressed a hand against the counter for support and nodded. What was wrong with her? She had no problem planning to marry a man she’d met on the internet, but now she couldn’t bring herself to tell Sean the truth. Bobbing her head up and down once was the only answer she could give.

  “Which one?” He ran a hand over his neatly trimmed hair, the color of which reminded her of her favorite milk chocolate truffles from the specialty store in the mall.

  Proof she had officially lost her mind. Who looked at hair and thought of chocolate? Mmmm. But it sounds so delicious right now. An entire box of truffles and a pound of peanut butter fudge. Maybe a few chocolate dipped strawberries. Sugar was her comfort food, and she could use a few doses of comfort right about now, but she would need new clothes if she indulged in all the sweets she wanted at the moment.

  She stirred the pot again, spinning the spoon in quick, harsh circles. Faster and faster as she thought of Kristopher, his deception, and then his actions. Stew beat up against the sides of the pot, but she continued, splashing the thick broth over the edges.

  Sean stepped closer, put his hands on her shoulders. “Are you okay?”

  His touch surprised her. She hadn’t anticipated it and she jerked the spoon out of the pot, lost her grip and dropped it to the floor. “No, I’m not okay. If I’m not married by the end of March, I lose this place. Stupid me thought I could find a husband online and look where that got me.” Her derisive laugh sounded extreme, even to her, but she couldn’t stop her tirade now that it had begun. “Pathetic isn’t it.”

  “Shh.” His soothing voice caressed her frayed nerves. “There’s nothing pathetic about it. You were only trying to keep something that means a lot to you.”

  All thoughts of asking Sean to step into Kristopher’s shoes fell to the wayside. He was too kind to take advantage of, too sophisticated to agree—except possibly from a sense of pity, and that would be even worse.

  “I was naïve, and that choice will cost me dearly.” She bent down, and away from his touch, to pick up the spoon. Standing back up, she tossed it into the sink. “My only recourse now is to contest the will, try to have that clause thrown out.”

  “Why not attempt that from the beginning?”

  “For one thing, I don’t have that kind of money. My lawyer gave me an estimate, and I don’t have that amount of cash right now.” The stew began to bubble, and she turned off the burner. “For another, I would risk losing everything. The case could be tied up in court for a year or more. If the will stood as-is, and that verdict came back after March thirty-first, I’d lose Crosswinds. It was a gamble I wasn’t willing to take.”

  “Makes sense.”

  She grabbed a ladle from the utensil crock. “Would you mind grabbing two bowls from the cabinet above you?”

  “What are you going to do?” He pulled down two bowls and handed them to her.

  “I’m not sure.” After filling the two dishes, she placed half a loaf of French bread into the toaster oven and turned it to the warm setting. “Dumb as it sounds, I honestly thought a marriage of convenience with Kristopher would work out. Yeah, right. Ideas like those are best left in the past.”

  “It doesn’t sound dumb.” Regret flickered in his eyes, but she couldn’t imagine why.

  A relationship gone wrong? Did her talk of a failed relationship with Kristopher trigger memories? The answer would have to wait, and she might never find out. He’d be out of her life within the hour. The thought saddened her.

  “Where are your spoons?”

  She opened a drawer and handed him two. “Butter on your bread?”

  “Yes, please.”

  Opening the fridge for the butter, she took stock of the drink situation. She’d been so busy during the week, cleaning and preparing for Kristopher, that she forgot to go grocery shopping and since she didn’t have guests, the shelves were bare. “I have some iced tea in the fridge, or milk. Sorry for the lack of options, but I need to go to the store soon.”

  “Tea is fine.” He carried the bowls to the small table by the window overlooking the orchards.

  There was a formal dining room, but either he hadn’t seen it, or preferred the more casual setting. She hoped it was the latter. Despite the fast-paced life he’d mentioned, she wanted to believe he could be happy in the country, in a different lifestyle setting.

  Why does it matter? Stop thinking thoughts that will only disappoint. Hadn’t she had enough of that today?

  They sat down to eat, maintaining easy and light conversation throughout the meal. Lunchtime had well passed by the time they cleared the table, and afternoon had turned halfway to evening.

  The goodbyes came, and Sunny dreaded Sean’s leaving. All the empty rooms of the three-story home closed in on her, reminding her she’d be alone in the large house. Funny how it hadn’t bothered her until now.

  Sean stood by the stairwell, but didn’t reach for his coat. “A year ago, I realized too late that I loved my best friend. What I didn’t know was that she had married.”

  Ah. That would explain the earlier remorse in his eyes, but why tell her now? “I’m sorry.”

  “It was a marriage of convenience.”

  “Oh.” She drew out the word longer than necessary. “How did it work out for her?”

  “They fell in love.” His lips twisted as though torn between a smile and frown. “I haven’t spoken to her in almost a year, but by all accounts, they couldn’t be happier.”

  Was he telling her not to give up on a marriage? She had four weeks to make it happen. Faith as small as a mustard seed. She laughed. Well, moving a mountain seemed mo
re likely than finding a husband in such a short time frame.

  Glancing up, she saw Sean staring at her, and she realized she’d laughed out loud. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t laughing at you and what you told me. I was thinking about the verse in the Bible about mustard seeds.”

  “‘For I assure you: If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will tell this mountain, Move from here to there, and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.’ Is that it?”

  “Yes.”

  His brows quirked upward. “What is so funny about it?”

  “I thought moving a mountain would be easier than finding a husband in four weeks.” She shrugged. “I don’t know. It struck me as funny at the moment, but now, maybe it was irreverent of me.”

  Sean took a deep breath, let it out slowly. “Do you believe God’s Word is true?”

  “Absolutely. Do you?”

  “Without a doubt.”

  Her lips curved into a smile. “Then that’s settled.”

  “Sunny… the mountain’s not going to move itself. You have to tell it.”

  “Huh?” Confused at his point, she looked at him for an answer.

  “You need a husband, right?”

  Duh. Hadn’t that been the main topic of their conversations? “Yes.”

  “God doesn’t always give us the answers we want or expect. Often, they come in the most unexpected ways.” He leaned against the bannister, a serene smile resting on his mouth.

  If only she could understand the serenity that was settling over him. “I know. Crosswinds was an answer to prayer I hadn’t expected, or so I thought. But if I’m going to lose it, I don’t understand why it was given to me in the first place.”

  “Maybe you won’t lose it.”

  “I’m praying I won’t, but I’m struggling to remain optimistic.” She trailed her teeth along her lip, trying not to cry. The fear she’d felt in that moment Kristopher tried to kiss her, the possibility of failing to keep Crosswinds, the reality of an unknown future—the weight of all the disappointments came crashing down on her.

  “Are there any stipulations on how long you have to stay married?”

  She stopped to think, conjuring an image of the will in her memory. “Not that I can recall. I’d have to check with the lawyer.”

  “All right.”

  “All right what?”

  A smirk appeared. “Ask the mountain to move.”

  Putting a hand to her forehead, she concentrated on what he’d said, trying to make sense of his statements. Hold up… He wasn’t… was he?

  “Are you…” She couldn’t bring herself to finish asking the question. What if she’d completely misread what she thought he was suggesting?

  Not to mention she’d just met him earlier today. But they had gotten along well, and he had proved his character by defending her from Kristopher. He was a Christian, one who didn’t only claim to be. Add that to the connection that surged between them. If she’d been willing to marry Kristopher, why not Sean?

  “Can I see your license?”

  He eyed her with surprise, but withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slipped out his driver’s license, handed it to her.

  Sean Michael Pearson. He’d told the truth about that. Address of record, Maryville, Pennsylvania—also agreed with what he’d told her. She scanned the ID for his date of birth. Twenty-nine years old, and he would turn thirty in May. Plus, he was an organ donor. A definite point in his favor—a childhood friend’s life had been saved when she’d received a donor heart.

  Lord, did You send Sean here today to be the man whom I am to marry? Did You have a greater purpose than I could see?

  She inhaled, filling her lungs with air.

  Yes, My child. Reach out and grasp hold of the gift I’ve given to you.

  Raising her head, she locked eyes with Sean.

  Had he received the same nudge? Could he help her move that mountain?

  He nodded his head.

  She hadn’t spoken out loud, yet he knew.

  Slowly, she emptied her lungs. “Would you consider marrying me for the sake of keeping Crosswinds?”

  Sean’s mouth spread to a sly grin. “I thought you’d never ask.”

  Chapter Four

  Exactly one week to the day of their engagement, Sean stood under a covered bridge with his fiancée. They’d spent the last seven days getting to know each other, filing the proper paperwork, and planning a wedding.

  “Are you sure you don’t want a church wedding?” He leaned against the railing, watching the rippling waters below him.

  “I’ve always wanted an outdoor wedding, and this might be the only one I have.”

  Might be. Would be. They’d skirted around the issue, both mentioning they believed marriage was for life, but neither addressing the length of theirs.

  “Then have the one you want. Don’t worry about the costs—I’ll cover them.”

  Sunny bent over the rail and skipped a stone on the stream. “Can I make a confession?”

  “Go for it.”

  “The idea of standing in front of a crowd for my wedding terrifies me.” She leaned sideways to face him. “While most girls dreamed of big, elaborate weddings, I always knew I wanted a small and intimate one, with only my closest family and friends.”

  “Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.” He itched to reach out and touch her, but didn’t have the right, no matter their relationship status—one born of convenience.

  “What kind of wedding have you always wanted?”

  He laughed. “I’m a man. We don’t sit around flipping through bridal magazines and planning the perfect event.”

  His answer was greeted with Sunny’s melodic laugh. “I know, but surely you at least thought about it at some point.”

  “You want the honest answer?” He waited until she nodded to continue. “Until last year, I’d never had a serious relationship, only a series of short-term girlfriends and a few summer romances.”

  Instead of teasing him, Sunny gave him that look she used—he’d already learned—when she sought to understand something he’d said. “How come?”

  He swallowed, praying he wouldn’t see disappointment in her eyes. He’d come to respect her and her opinion of him. “I lost my way as some would say. Work and building my stock portfolio took priority. Women were a commodity I could take or leave, and I’m ashamed to admit, I used more than my fair share of them.”

  Sunny tucked a fist under her chin and stared at him. “I can’t imagine that side of you. All you’ve shown me is a man of integrity and compassion.”

  Her words touched him more than she’d ever know. Thank You, Lord, for letting her see the new me. “I’m not proud of the man I was, but by God’s grace, I’ve changed. I’m still trying to figure out His plan for me, but He’s given me an obvious path to go down.”

  Reaching out, he dared to touch her hand, a show of his appreciation of the friendship they’d developed—with the possibility of more, though still unspoken.

  Out of the blue, Sunny spun in a circle. “This is the spot.”

  “For the wedding?” Questioning brows rose.

  “Yes.”

  “But it’s a bridge.” Women—he didn’t understand them.

  “A beautiful one. There aren’t many covered bridges left, and I’ve always been fascinated with them. Think of the gorgeous pictures we’d have as a memory, especially as the sun sets.” She ran to the far end and spread her arms wide. “This is where we’d stand with the preacher. With the immediate curve of the road, we’d have that grove of trees in all our pictures.”

  The vision caught him, or maybe it was her enthusiasm. “We could rent a few wooden folding chairs for our guests, and our music could be the birds singing and the water tricking along.”

  “Yes, and I’ll have a red bouquet to match the frame of the bridge.”

  “And we can have a car waiting just down the road, and after the ceremony, ride off into the sunset.” He averted her gaze, emb
arrassed by his enthusiasm.

  Unfortunately for him, Sunny wouldn’t let it go. She walked to him and tipped his chin. “Why Sean Pearson, is there a romantic hidden deep inside of you?”

  “I was caught up in the moment.”

  “Sure you were.” She winked and not so discreetly held back a giggle. “We’ll make it our little secret.”

  “How many people do you plan on having at the wedding?” It didn’t matter to him as long as the arrangements made Sunny happy.

  “My sister Raina and her husband won’t be able to make it on short notice. They recently moved to California and her husband used all his time off for the move.” She ticked off her fingers. “My other best friend lives out of the country, so she definitely couldn’t make it in time, which leaves my dad.”

  “No other friends?”

  “Not that are close.”

  His heart hurt for her, then he thought about the friends he had. Sure, he had lots of acquaintances he hung out with, but who did he have to share his burdens with or tell about work at the end of a long day?

  Madison, but she was off limits now that she had a husband. Even if there wasn’t a husband in the picture, he didn’t know if she’d ever forgive him. He’d made a fool of himself. As much as it hurt, he had to leave it in the past.

  “I called my parents, and they’ll be here.”

  Her face paled. “What did they say about our marriage, or didn’t you tell them the circumstances?”

  “Not at first, but they were concerned this was a rebound relationship.”

  “Rebound?” Recognition dawned in her azure eyes. “Oh, the best friend.”

  “No, well, not exactly.” He hopped on a rail and sat. “There was a girl I thought myself in love with and I’d planned to move to New York to be near her. Only, Laurena wasn’t who I thought, and seeing her true colors made me realize what a gem Madison is.”

  “How long has that been?”

  “A year.”

  Sunny shrugged. “That’s plenty of time for most people.”

  “That’s what I told my parents, but they wouldn’t stop with their questions.” He propped his feet on the bottom rail. “So I finally told them the truth to keep them quiet.”