Thinking About It Only Makes It Worse

by David Mitchell

  Guardian article on 1, 2

  “went bonkers” over corgis’ food 1

  see also monarchy

  Ellison, Jane 1

  Elms, Mark 1, 2

  Emberg, Bella 1

  emigrating and happiness 1

  Empire of the Sun 1

  Endeavour 1

  England soccer team 1, 2

  English Heritage 1

  English Tourist Board, see Visit England

  Estinel, Martin 1

  Eton College 1

  Evans, Sir Richard 1

  exercise, women’s attitude towards 1

  Facebook: and anonymous messages 1

  and food 1

  fairytales 1

  Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin, The, remake of 1

  Fallon, Michael 1

  fan fiction 1

  Fantastic Four, The 1

  Farage, Nigel 1, 2, 3 and “nasty party” image 1

  Farmer, Colin 1

  fashion: anti- 1

  invoking, as marketing 1

  Fawlty Towers 1

  Ferguson, Niall 1

  Ferrari, Nick 1

  Figes, Orlando 1, 2

  Financial Services Authority 1, 2

  Findus, horse in lasagnes of 1, 2

  Fish, Michael 1, 2

  fish stocks 1

  fitness (and lack of) 1, 2

  Flintoff, Andrew 1

  Flintstones, The 1, 2

  food: and advertising 1, 2

  budget 1

  cereals 1

  horse, not beef 1

  and Michelin 1

  and neo-Nazis 1

  and social media 1

  football, and colour of strip 1

  Forth Bridge 1

  Fournier, Mark 1

  Fowler, Steve 1

  Fox, Emilia 1

  France, UK’s military agreements with 1

  Frasier 1, 2

  Freegard, Siobhan 1

  Freud, Matthew 1

  Full Monty, The 1

  G, Ali 1

  Gaddafi, Col. 1

  Gangnam Style 1

  Gant, Charles 1

  Garfield, Andrew 1

  Gascoigne, Paul 1

  Gauthier, Alexandre 1

  gay people: and B&B owners 1

  and football 1

  Markovic’s insults against 1

  and marriage 1

  Silvester’s insults against 1

  general elections: 1992 1

  1997 1

  2010: Brown confirms date of 1

  crises preceding 1

  DM’s ludicrous predictions concerning 1

  and leaders’ wives 1

  leadership debates preceding 1

  UKIP manifesto for 1

  Genesis, Book of 1

  Germany: and Hitler salute 1

  post-WW 1 2

  Gingritch, Callista 1

  Gingritch, Newt, meretricious shittiness of 1, 2

  Girlguiding UK 1

  Glass, Ira 1

  global financial crisis 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and bankers 1, 2

  and silver linings 1

  gold 1

  Goldman Sachs 1, 2

  Good Life restaurant 1

  Google 1 Android OS of, new name for 1

  “Don’t Be Evil” motto of 1

  and poppies 1

  tax avoidance by 1, 2

  Google Street View 1

  Goujon, Gilles 1

  Gove, Michael 1, 2 and Bibles 1

  and WW 1

  grammar 1, 2 see also punctuation

  Grant, Hugh 1

  Gray, Andy 1

  Grayling, Chris 1

  Great British Bake-Off, The 1

  Great Expectations 1

  Griffin, Nick, crowd-pleasing bankruptcy of 1

  Griffiths, Helen 1

  Gruffalo, The 1

  Guardian 1, 2, 3, 4 DM slated on website of 1

  Guides, see Girlguiding UK

  Guinness, Alec 1

  Gulf of Mexico, oil spill in (Deepwater Horizon) 1, 2

  Gyngell, Skye, annoyance at critical acclaim of 1

  Hague, Fld Mshl Douglas 1

  Halifax, Lord 1, 2, 3

  Hall, Sir Peter 1

  Hamill, Mark 1

  Hamlet cigars 1

  Hammond, Richard 1

  Hare, David 1

  Harris, Evan 1

  Harry, Prince: party gear of 1

  as TV-show idea 1

  Harry Potter books/films 1

  Hart, Miranda 1

  hashtags 1

  Hay Festival 1

  Hayward, Tony 1

  Heart Attack Grill 1

  Heat 1

  Henry IV of France 1

  Henry VIII 1

  Heroes 1

  Heyhoe Flint, Rachael 1

  Hill, Amanda 1

  Hillsborough 1

  history, teaching of 1

  Hitler, Adolf 1 Tussauds likeness of 1

  Hoddesdon 1

  Hoffman, Dustin 1

  Hollande, François, comic love life of 1

  Holocaust Educational Trust 1

  homelessness 1

  Homes Under the Hammer 1

  homophobia 1

  horsemeat scandal, and why DM is glad it happened 1

  Howe, Geoffrey 1

  HS2 1

  Huhne, Chris 1, 2

  Humphrys, John 1, 2

  Hunt, Jeremy 1, 2, 3

  Hunt, Tristram 1

  Hurley, Liz 1

  Iceland (company) 1

  Idle, Eric 1

  Incredibles, The 1

  India 1

  Inspector Morse 1, 2

  internet dating 1, 2

  Iraq: invasion of 1 Chilcott Inquiry into 1

  IT consultants, as TV-show idea 1

  James Bond films 1, 2, 3 Casino Royale 1

  Skyfall 1

  Janner, Lord 1, 2

  Jenkin, Bernard 1

  Jif/Cif 1

  Jodrell Bank 1

  Johnson, Boris 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

  Jordan, Queen of 1

  Jowell, Tessa 1, 2

  Katz, Ian 1, 2

  Kellogg’s 1

  Kelly, Sir Christopher 1, 2

  Kennedy, Charles 1

  Kent, Clark 1

  Richard Keys, inability to believe that women can understand the offside rule of 1

  King, Ledley 1

  King’s Speech, The 1

  KitKat 1, 2 see also Google: Android OS of

  Lagerling, John 1

  Land Girls 1

  Lange, Steffen 1, 2

  Langfield, Joanna 1

  Leicester City FC 1

  Leicester, University of 1

  Lewis 1, 2, 3

  Lidl 1

  Lineker, Gary 1

  Lion Bar, retail backlash against fashion industry orchestrated by 1

  Liverpool FC 1

  Lobdell, Scott 1

  Logan, Gaby 1

  London Fashion Week 1

  Lords, House of, as TV-show idea 1

  Louis XIV 1, 2

  Louis XVI 1

  Lucas, George 1, 2, 3, 4

  Lucasfilm 1

  Lumley, Joanna 1

  Lygo, Carl 1

  Lyons, Sir Michael 1

  McCluskey, Len 1

  McDonald’s 1, 2

  McGregor, Ewan 1

  Macmillan, Margaret, discomfort with Michael Gove’s admiration of 1

  Macpherson, Elle 1

  Madame Tussauds, horrible use of language, high entrance fee and general disappointing nature of 1

  Madness of King George, The 1

  Magic Roundabout, The 1

  Magnetar 1, 2

  Major, John 1, 2

  Manchester United FC 1

  Mandelson, Lord 1

  Marathon/Snickers 1

  Margaret Thatcher: The Long Walk to Finchley 1

  marketing, see advertising and marketing

  Markovic, Vlatko 1

  Martin, Steve 1

  Massey, Sian 1

  Mastermind
1

  Matrix, The 1

  media: BBC knocked by 1, 2

  conflict-obsessed 1

  Met Office 1

  Michelin stars 1

  Midas, King 1

  Miliband, David 1, 2

  Miliband, Ed 1, 2 and platitudes over policies 1

  and presentation skills 1

  on Shapps 1

  and something-for-nothing culture 1

  Miller, Maria 1

  Milligan, Spike 1

  Mind 1

  Minder 1

  Mr T 1

  Mitchell, Andrew 1, 2

  Mo 1

  Molotov’s Magic Lantern (Polonsky) 1

  Mona Lisa 1, 2

  monarchy 1, 2 see also Elizabeth II

  money 1 as gold 1

  Monocled Mutineer, The 1

  Moore, Roger 1

  Morgan, Nicky 1

  Morrissey, Margaret 1

  MPs: expenses fiddles of 1, 2, 3

  salaries of 1

  Mrs Brown 1

  Mugabe, Robert, unfair aspersions cast on the punctuality of 1, 2

  Mullin, Chris 1

  Mumsnet 1

  Muppet Show, The 1

  Muppets, The 1

  Murdoch, Rupert 1

  Murphy, Eddie 1

  Murray, Andy 1

  My Family 1

  Mystery Men 1

  Napoleon I 1

  National Crime Agency 1

  National Federation of Fishermen’s Organisations, beef with Royal Mail of 1

  National Health Service (NHS) 1 most efficient 1, 2

  National Lottery 1

  National Victims’ Association, Christmas party of 1

  Nationwide 1

  Nazis 1 and Cookie Monster 1

  uniforms of 1, 2

  neologisms, see words, new, favourite and not so favourite

  Nestlé 1 and powdered milk 1

  Netmums 1

  New Statesman 1

  New York Times 1

  News of the World 1

  Newsnight 1

  Nighy, Bill 1

  No Ordinary Family 1

  Noor, Queen 1

  Northern Rock 1

  “Not in My Front Yard” campaign 1

  Obama, Barack 1, 2 inauguration of 1

  Obama, Michelle 1

  Observer 1, 2, 3

  Office, The 1

  offside rule 1

  Oh! What a Lovely War 1

  O’Leary, Michael 1, 2

  Olsen, Jimmy 1

  Olympic Games 1 London (2012) 1

  One Show, The 1

  online reviews 1

  Only Fools and Horses 1

  Operation Yewtree 1

  opinions 1

  Orange 1

  O’Rourke, Ray 1

  Osborne, George 1, 2 blaming economic problems on snow 1

  Our Friends in the North 1

  Outnumbered 1, 2

  Oxford English Dictionary 1

  Panorama 1

  Paralympics 1

  Parents Outloud 1

  Parsons, Nicholas, left on oil rig by Chinese 1

  Patterson, James 1

  Paxman, Jeremy 1, 2

  Peep Show 1

  Peppa Pig 1

  Petersham Nurseries Cafe 1

  Phantom Menace 1

  Philpott, William 1

  phone-hacking scandal 1

  photography 1 and privacy 1

  Pickles, Eric 1

  Piss Christ 1

  Player-Bishop, Jill 1

  “Plebgate” 1, 2

  Plymouth 1

  pole-dancing 1

  police: deteriorating public image of 1

  and Hillsborough 1

  and phone-hacking scandal 1

  and “Plebgate” 1

  and Tasers 1

  Police Federation 1, 2, 3

  political parties, funding of 1

  politicians, and comedy 1

  Polonsky, Rachel 1

  Pontin’s 1, 2

  poppies 1 sparkly 1

  white 1

  Pottermore.com 1, 2, 3

  Premier League 1

  Pride and Prejudice 1

  private sector 1

  punctuation 1, 2 apostrophes 1, 2, 3

  Putin, Vladimir, similarity to Peter Ebdon of 1

  Queen, The 1

  Queen’s English Society 1

  Rainbow 1

  Ramsay, Gordon 1, 2

  Rantzen, Esther 1

  rebranding 1 of cattle 1

  of government departments 1

  of products 1

  Reeves, Rachel 1, 2

  Reggie Perrin 1

  Reitemeier, Bob 1

  religion: and art 1

  display of symbols of 1

  research 1

  Research Excellence Framework 1, 2

  Responsibility Deal 1, 2

  Return of the Jedi 1, 2

  Richard II 1

  Richard III 1

  Richard, Cliff 1

  Robinson, Tony 1

  Romeo and Juliet (Shakespeare) 1 as TV-show idea 1

  Romney, Ann 1

  Rooney, Wayne 1, 2, 3

  Ross, Jonathan 1, 2

  Rowling, JK 1, 2

  Royal Bank of Scotland 1, 2

  Royal Mail 1, 2

  Rumpole stories 1

  RuPaul’s Drag Race 1

  Ryanair 1, 2

  Saatchi, Charles 1, 2

  “Sachsgate” 1

  Salisbury, Lord 1

  same-sex marriage 1

  Samuel Johnson Prize 1

  Santorum, Karen 1

  Savile, Jimmy 1

  School of Saatchi 1

  Scott, Andrew 1

  Scouts 1

  Sellers, Peter 1

  Sergeant, John 1

  Serrano, Andres 1, 2

  Service, Robert 1

  Sesame Street 1

  Sewell, Brian, horror at artistic success of Al-Qaida of 1

  Shakespeare, William 1, 2

  Shapps, Grant 1

  Sheffield, Prof. Gary 1

  Sherlock Holmes stories 1, 2, 3

  Silvester, David 1, 2

  Simpsons, The 1, 2

  Smith, Maggie 1

  Snakes, horrible but more important than apostrophes 1, 2

  Snickers/Marathon 1

  Snow, Peter 1

  social media, food on 1

  Somme, Battle of the 1, 2, 3

  Soubry, Anna 1

  Spelthorne Business Forum 1

  sphincteral cleanliness 1

  Spider-Man 1

  Sport Relief 1, 2

  Staines 1

  Star Wars 1, 2 and Disney 1, 2, 3

  Phantom Menace 1

  Return of the Jedi 1, 2

  Starck, Philippe 1, 2

  Stephenson, Sir Paul 1

  Stirk, Chris 1

  Stoppard, Tom 1

  Stott, Ken 1

  Straw, Jack 1, 2

  Strictly Come Dancing 1 Halloween-themed edition of 1

  students 1

  Sugar, Sir Alan (later Lord) 1

  Summerscale, Kate 1

  Sun, The 1, 2

  superheroes 1 in film 1

  Superman 1, 2

  Superman: Man of Steel 1

  supermarkets, and sweets at checkouts 1

  Suspicions of Mr Whicher, The (Summerscale) 1

  Sutcliffe, Gerry, crap remark of 1

  Tardis 1, 2

  Tasers 1

  teaching: of history 1

  and pay 1, 2

  television: children’s 1

  daytime 1

  Paxman’s disdain for watching 1

  sequels and remakes on 1

  see also BBC; individual programme titles

  telomeres, incomprehensible nature of 1

  10 O’Clock Live 1

  Tesco, disinclination to be perpetually associated with the word ‘horse’ of 1

  Thatcher, Margaret 1, 2

  This American Life 1

  Thompson, Mark 1

  Thompso
n, Richard 1

  Times, The 1, 2, 3, 4

  Today 1

  Tomkinson, Dr Grant 1

  toothpaste, attempts to make less boring 1

  Torode, John 1

  Toto, anal designs of 1

  Trading Places 1

  Tribick, Alex 1

  Trident 1

  Trimingham, Carina 1

  Tudors, The 1

  Turner Prize 1

  Twitter: and anonymous messages 1

  DM slated on 1

  and food 1

  Katz’s message on 1

  Ukip 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

  Uncle Vanya (Chekhov) 1

  Unesco 1

  universities: for-profit 1

  students’ complaints against 1

  valve decisions 1

  Vicky Cristina Barcelona 1

  Victoria and Albert Museum (V&A) 1

  Victoria, Queen 1

  Virgo, John tearfulness at fictional death of Peter Ebdon of 1

  Visit England 1

  Walsh, Fergus 1

  Walsh, Louis, waggling mouth, sparkly poppy and fucking shirt of 1

  Warne, Shane 1

  Warwick, Diana 1

  Watercolour Challenge 1

  Watson, James D. 1

  weather forecasters 1

  Webb, Robert – yes Rob, you get mentioned! But not as much as Nick Clegg, I’m afraid. 1

  Weight Watchers 1, 2

  West Country 1

  West, Kanye 1

  West Midlands, desire to evacuate of 1

  WH Smith, David Cameron’s incomprehension of the business model of 1

  wheelie bins 1, 2

  Whisperers, The (Figes) 1