Lost Angel (The List #1)

by N. K. Love

  Once dressed, I stand in the bedroom mirror to give myself a final once-over. I look and feel sassy. Nobody would guess that I’m on my period and wearing comfortable granny knickers under this skirt. I spot my wedding ring, or ‘noose’ around my finger as Wills kindly referred to it.

  A couple of girls from the gym showed up at Wills for a drink and a chat beforehand. It’s great to meet new people and these pair are super easy-going and hilarious.

  The girls all said I look lovely, which is a good job because they look fantastic, obviously used to getting dressed up and going clubbing. I’m still pretty clueless. My hair is untouched so I ask their advice and Emma, the buxom blonde receptionist from 24/7 takes charge, braiding my hair into a perfect thick high bun, leaving lots of long wisps cascading down either side of my face. I love it and it leaves my neck exposed, accentuating the V that drops low between my shoulder blades but my invisible bra strap does its job nicely.

  Just before the taxi is due I refill our shot glasses and stand to make a toast. “To Willow, my amazing best friend. Wills you have given me so much love and support. My ‘next chapter’ would be nothing without you. And as promised—” I slide my wedding ring off and place it in the middle of the coffee table. At which point Willow is now standing with the side of her face across my bare back, cuddling me from behind “Here’s to a great night as single ladies.”

  When the taxi arrives we trot our tipsy asses to the car.

  That’s it now, I’ll never wear that wedding ring again. It was intended for eternity—

  11:28pm

  Wills chosen club is called Tricks and it’s in prime position at the heart of the nightlife action. There’s a huge queue but once inside I’m dragged straight to the main room, which is hot and heaving. Playing dance and house anthems with an amazing intelligent lighting system. There’s multi-coloured beams of light shooting around the room, strobe lighting and even multiple beams projecting images of dancers on screens, dancing to the beat of the tracks. It’s so effective.

  After I’ve tried to take it all in, I realise there must be speakers nearby because it’s so loud. There’s no point shouting to Wills so I opt for body gestures instead. She goes with the girls to the bar and I head off for a look around and to find the toilets. There’s random people getting it on against the walls in the corridors and basically anywhere they can.

  I ignore the sign for the toilets and head up the staircase to the next floor which isn’t as busy. There’s four club rooms in total, two up two down, all playing different genres of music, ranging from alternative indie to dubstep. This place almost has something for everyone. I step into the smaller of the two rooms with lots of discreet nooks and alcoves, which leads me to believing there’s probably people getting up to all sorts in the dark corners. Everybody seems friendly enough though. One guy randomly grabs my hand and twirls me under his arm as he walks past me in the corridor. He doesn’t even say anything, he just smiles and keep on walking. I like this place.

  Finally I venture to the toilet, which is thankfully clean because they have toilet attendants, who also randomly sell lollipops so I buy a couple and pop them in my handbag for later. When I make it back to the girls, they’ve met up with the crowd from the gym so as I grab my bottle from her I quickly glance around but can’t see my gladiator. Grrrr… I hide my disappointment behind my drink.

  Nevermind, I’m here to have a great time with Wills anyway, not to lust after some mind numbingly gorgeous Adonis with a body to die for who, incidentally, is way out of my league but dishes out eyegasms on tap. I mean, I like a challenge but going after him would be punching way above my weight, especially for a rookie like me! Guess that means another eyegasm is off the agenda tonight too.

  A couple of hours later and we still haven’t moved off the dance floor. The music and company are equally great. The boys casually flit between dancing with the girls and hovering on the edge of the floor probably more interested in scouting out the talent in the club. The majority of us are single and some happily gyrate, flirt and kiss random strangers quite casually. I’ve clocked a few kissing each other within the group and nobody bats an eyelid as though it’s standard practice.

  We’re having a brilliant night. The girls are taking it in turns to fetch our rounds of drinks so that we never lose our spot at the front of the floor by the DJ on stage. The lads sort their own drinks and shower us with shots too.

  I’m dancing with the girls and a few of the lads in as good a circle as we can manage on this busy floor. We have just finished our third dance off, which was childishly epic. I idly admit that I wouldn’t have had the ability to lose my inhibitions and get involved in something like this before now. I would have wanted to, but stopped myself for fear of making myself look stupid or worse; embarrassing Mike. Not now though. New friends, new beginnings, new lease of life.

  I somehow feel like I’ve known these guys for ages. It’s remarkable how well you can get on with new people when you’ve barely had a conversation with some of them. Laughing, dancing and miming appears to suffice for now. Plus I completely trust Wills judgement and she’s vouched for them all. Who knew dancing was such an idyllic means of bonding? Why on earth did I assume clubbing was anti-social? I was so wrong.

  I don’t seem to be getting much male attention though tonight, which is a bit disheartened considering I’d made an extra effort. The others’ don’t seem to be struggling. I have caught a few good looking men looking in my direction but every time I think somebody’s going to make a move, nothing happens.

  Out of the blue Wills barks in my ear, “You ready to christen your Fuck It list babe?” I give her a ‘tell me more’ gesture with my hand. She grabs my phone, opens the app and scrolls down the screen. “Number 17, Kiss a girl—”

  I feel Miss Sensible pulling me away... But I’m up for the challenge and it looks as though it’ll be the only lip-action I’ll be getting tonight anyway. I love surprising Wills because I know she’s expecting me to at least hesitate. Instead, I shrug my shoulders and shout “Fuck It… Not with you though!” Wills pouts her lips in jest then claps her hands like a seal. She makes a roundhouse ‘ta-dah’ hand movement to everybody that we’re with. Hmm... not sure if I’d rather snog a stranger but considering I’ve pretty much seen most of them kiss at least one other person tonight, I’d say that I’m probably the exception to the rule, which makes this easier.

  Wills cups my ear so that I can hear her properly. “Singles only, except Sam, she doesn’t do girls. I’ll join in for moral support, follow my lead.” Then without a moment’s notice she turns away, grabs Emma and they start kissing. Shit, my turn, I’ve got stage fright. Who do I pick? I catch eyes with Katie who is nearest to me. She is about my age, short brown hair, a little shorter than me and very innocent looking. She looks at them kissing and then back at me. She beckons me over with a subtle movement of her head and a flick of her eyebrows. Thank fuck for that, she’s bailing me out big time. I take the plunge; live in the moment Beth. Two steps in her direction and we tentatively lock lips.

  My first thought is that I can smell weed on her but she doesn’t taste of weed or even cigarettes. After a few seconds we adjust to a mutual rhythm and then I really notice the difference. Her lips are slim and soft, I feel as though I’d bruise her if I tried to deepen it further. Her tongue feels experienced but so delicate. She actually tastes of juicy apple schnapps. I find that I’m holding back from my usual stride because there’s no sexual desire. But I stay committed as I explore her mouth knowing that I’m also starting this new journey of exploration for myself. We start to unwind our tongues and slow it down more. I find that we’ve moved closer at some point and our breasts are pressing together. Still not sparking any desire within me but I wonder if we look hot to any onlookers. When we pull away she lifts her hand from my waist and holds the side of my face, then leans forward, turning my ear to her mouth. That’s when I smell weed again, it must be on her hair. She must be a smoker.
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  “Girl, you put these lot to shame. Tell Willow you’re a better kisser than her any day!” We both start laughing and I know that if I tell Wills she’ll be trying to convince me to kiss her so she can see for herself. Bursting into loud song, I scream the lyrics to “I kissed a girl” by Katy Perry, my voice is swallowed by the bassline but Wills reads my lips and joins in as we share a celebratory high five. One down and twenty-nine to go – I did it. I fucking did it! I’m learning how it feels to let myself go and it’s exhilarating. What a rush and what’s reassuring is that nobody gives a shit, except Wills of course.

  Chapter Eight

  Saturday 21st March 2015

  2:14am

  It’s a little after 2am and my inexperienced body clock must be kicking in so I let Wills know I’m going to chill out at the back of the room for a bit so she knows where I am.

  I go to the toilet to freshen up and then I go back to the main room and find one of the few hightop tables they have scattered about and climb up onto a high stool. I catch glimpses of the gang intermittently but there’s too many people between us. It’s much quieter over here as its right at the back away from the DJ booth and main speakers. The other high stools seem to be occupied by people either sleeping with their heads on the tables or making out, sucking each other’s faces off. Reminded of my lollipops, I put my handbag on the table, take out a lolly and unwrap it.

  Some guy drifts past and clears away the empty bottles off the table. He has ‘Tricks’ written on the back of his black polo shirt in fluorescent lettering. I thank him and we exchange smiles. “Anytime gorgeous.” He winks and disappears into the crowd.

  I smile to myself thinking about how much I’m enjoying tonight but start to wonder realistically how much longer I’m going to last. I’m pretty tipsy and tired, not a good combination when there’s still a few hours to go. I suck this lollipop hard, as if it’s going to inject me with energy. I’m pleasantly surprised to find it’s strawberry and cream flavour.

  Thrown out of sync with my thoughts in a show stopping flash, everything changes like some spontaneous sixth sense, my skin tingles, sending a shiver down my exposed spine. A split second later, I feel somebody come up close behind me but in a way that has me at ease. A minty fresh breath flutters on my ear planting a seed of tantalising curiosity. This deep voice vibrates through me covering me in supersensitive goose bumps. It’s the kind of voice that could seduce you by simply reciting the fucking alphabet slow-ly.

  “I thought you looked fuckable in your gym gear but now I see the depths of your fuckability know no bounds.”

  Internal red flashing beacons kick in with a robotic sounding tannoy warning “Gladiator alert, gladiator alert”. It’s loud enough to startle some of the alcohol and send it fleeing from my bloodstream. My head becomes clearer in an instant. Miss Alter Ego has turned my body clock back and she’s rubbing her hands together, cracking her knuckles, ready for action. Cool, calm and collected. He is just another human being… But the words he’s just whispered have my granny knickers in a twist. Fuckity fuck fuck!

  Jax

  I have no idea if she’s going to turn and slap me but it’s worth the risk. Watching her tonight has been like free fucking foreplay, better than any woman I’ve seen before. Watching her move this ridiculously fine ass of hers when she was dancing earlier was enough to have me rock hard and ready to go without so much as a stroke. What the fuck? Not my usual reaction by any means.

  Standing back in the shadows, I thought she was making a beeline towards me for a second then but instead I had the pleasure of watching her slide this ass up onto the pedestal it thoroughly deserves. It looks even more peachy hanging from her tiny stalk of a waist. Not to mention her long legs, which she’s thankfully showcased at the side of the table rather than hiding them underneath. I’ve already imagined stroking up the insides of these tanned toned thighs whilst her palms are spread across the bonnet of my wheels.

  I won’t be the first man tonight to fantasize like that either. Since sitting here, she has no idea how many men—and no doubt women too—have walked by her and broke their necks to check her out from behind. That bartender practically fell over himself to get to her table. He stood behind her, fiddling with the empties on his tray, taking a few seconds to brace himself for the impact of actually talking to her.

  In the gym yesterday, I swear I sensed her before I’d even seen her. Her presence was enticing; angelic but somehow raw and sexy as fuck. With the amount of females churning in and out of that place on a daily basis, this one stopped my trail of thought in a heartbeat. Willow didn’t have a clue what I was talking about as I stopped mid-sentence and then talked bullshit as a way to stay. Beth’s eyes demanded my attention, swiftly followed by my fuck hungry dick, which was already working on an inappropriate boner. I had to shove my hands in my pockets so it didn’t become obvious.

  Now I’m the last person anybody would associate the word ‘romantic’, in fact I seldom show signs of any deep emotion unless provoked. But what I can’t deny is that I felt an uncontrollable connection to this girl. It was powerful and so much more than just this incredible sexual chemistry. It’s in stark contrast to my usual response. I’m not easily intrigued but this one’s got me hooked.

  As she came down the gym stairs, Willow was trying to tell me about tonight, but I was too busy being hypnotized by her friend’s curvaceous hips. I was frantically imagining gripping onto them for dear life whilst she rode the fuck out of me, hard and fast. Hearing the slap of my palm against that ass and the gasp of my name across her lips.

  I discreetly tuned Willow out and quickly checked this badass girl for a wedding ring as she caressed her delicate fingers down the handrail. Pissed off is the understatement of the century. Inside, the part of me that felt hopeful immediately shrivelled up and fell down the trap door into that bottomless pit of disappointments. I knew I’d found something special and I was absolutely gutted. Unfortunately my dick didn’t receive the memo because that was anything but shrivelled.

  Tuning Willow back in, I double checked the time and place for tonight, thinking that if her friend is going to be there I’m still stupidly intrigued enough to make an appearance.

  But I never fuck around with another man’s woman. It’s a rule. Instead, I pigeonholed her at the top of my look-but-don’t-touch pile and in my life that list of women is strong so catapulting to the top is by no mean feat.

  When she breezed by me confidently, it was only her smile that wavered, showing me a subtle sign of vulnerability. Her eyes are stunning. I breathed in her drifting delectable scent and I’m sure I caught a hint of my favourite cocoa butter on her too. It killed me not to turn and watch her walk away but once I knew she was off limits, seeing her from behind would’ve just baited more torturous images of how I want to strip her naked and fuck her into the middle of next week. I gave it a minute then made my own sharp exit before anybody noticed my outrageous, brooding hard on.

  My dick is usually under manners but it definitely wasn’t yesterday and tonight’s no different.

  Craig’s already been asking where I am. He didn’t know I’d already arrived but when I turned up my eyes honed straight in on her, looking like this. Sex on legs for miles. I made my way over and when she took a swig from her bottle I clocked it straight away; no fucking wedding ring. So I backed off, knowing I had to observe her from the shadows to satisfy my curiosity from a distance for a while.

  This one’s different. Girls don’t get the upper hand over me but I know she’s got the potential to, I can feel it. I dropped a quick text back to Craig asking if Willows friend is single and I couldn’t help the idiotic smile taking over my face when I read the first two words of his response; Beth’s single but not for long the way she’s looking, so I’d hurry up if you wanna get on it.

  Beth… Beth... ‘Angel’ seems more appropriate. Not that I’m one for pet names or terms of endearment. Anyway, I’m sure I can remember to mutter Beth when I’m fucking
her—on all fours, perhaps. Looks like it’s game on and I feel elated, which irritates the shit out of me considering finding somebody I want to have sex with is usually merely standard procedure on a night out.

  Now I know she’s single I can elaborate on my initial observations. She is sex on legs; a pair of smooth long legs, waiting patiently to be wrapped around my waist. There’s no doubt about it; I want this badass angel in her sinful devilish outfit to make me come for England, over and over. This novel attraction I have towards her is both fascinating and confusing and challenging. Thankfully, I thrive off a challenge.