Unable to Resist

by Cassie Graham

  Eight hours later, in the very early morning, Duane yawns and stretches in his seat, smiling sweetly at me. “Hey, Red, you’ve got to be tired. Let me drive.”

  It’s almost four thirty, and I’m still on some sort of high, I begin to tell him I’ll keep driving when he pins me with his intense stare.

  “You need to sleep. It’s almost been twenty-four hours. Pull over at the next off ramp and I’ll get some coffee.”

  Geeze, bossypants.

  I want to protest, every cell in my body is telling me to put this man in his place because I’ve never been one to let a man tell me what to do, but as his eyes soften, so does my attitude.

  “You know I only want you to be rested, baby. It’s been a long week. Let me take care of you,” he begs.

  His words break down another wall, and I accept his offer by pulling into the next gas station I see.

  With a quick, sweet kiss, Duane runs inside while I fill up the car. And, in a few minutes, we’re back on the road with me in the passenger seat.

  This is going to seem so anti-feminist of me, but I like it like this, with him taking care of me. Taking control.

  Since Kyle, I’ve been on my own. I’ve made every difficult decision myself, with no one to fall back on. Liv was around to be there for me, but I’ve always felt like I held the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was doomed to live my life alone. So, knowing Duane wants to take care of me makes the feminist in me want to give the bird to anyone who says they don’t need a man to be there for them. I call bullshit.

  Everyone wants to feel loved. Everyone wants to feel wanted. Everyone wants to be the one. I feel all of that, and so much more, when I look into Duane’s eyes.

  “We’re about to leave Little Rock, Red. Get some sleep.”

  When I wake five hours later, we’re just outside Nashville. I must have been tired. The sun is shining brightly through the tinted windows of the car, making me reach for my sunglasses.

  “Mornin’, Red,” Duane says as he breaks at a stop sign. His mouth is lifted to the side slightly as he takes in my morning appearance.

  I’m sure I look just lovely. Ugh. I quickly comb my fingers through my hair to tame my lion-like locks.

  I look over at him and smile. “Hi, babe. I didn’t mean to sleep so long.”

  Duane puts the car in park and before I can slip my sunglasses on, he grabs my face, bringing his lips to mine. I know I should be worried about morning breath, but the moment he kisses me, all logical thoughts fly out the metaphorical window and I simply go with the flow.

  He kind of makes me forget my own name.

  When we break apart, Duane’s lips are red and his cheeks are a bit blushed. It’s good to know I can do that to this big, sexy burly man. Lord knows he does it to me.

  “I’m sorry. I just needed to kiss you. This past week seemed to go so fast. I needed to make sure you’re really here.”

  Crimson covers my face, and I grin at him. “And what was your conclusion?”

  Duane brings his hand behind my neck, guiding me back for another kiss. When we’re millimeters away from touching, a car behind us blares its horn.

  Both of us snap our heads in the direction of the honker. He or she, I can’t tell with the tint on the car, is waving furiously inside the cab, motioning for us to get out of the way. I finally look away when he/she decides to flip us off. We spurt laughter, and Duane puts the car in drive and presses on.

  We drop the rental car off at the airport and pick up his truck. The drive back to the shop is silent, both of us in our own heads.

  As we pull up to my shop, dread settles over me. I don’t want to leave Duane. I’ve been with him every day this past week. Even though he only slept next to me the one night after I met up with Brent, knowing that he was only across the hall made me feel at ease.

  Sleeping in separate rooms was his idea, not mine. I was more than pleased to fall asleep with him every night, but the southern gentleman insisted that he do right by me by sleeping elsewhere.

  I should have been happy he at least decided to stay at Jason’s and not that stuffy hotel. Don’t get me wrong, I was glad. If I had a choice to have him around me, I’d want him around as much as possible, but having him sleep, mere feet from me, possibly naked, had my mind running a mile a minute—in naughty directions.

  Every night I’d toss and turn, silently praying for him to slip into my room and be with me, but he never did. Do I understand why he didn’t? Of course. Do my lady parts understand? Not so much. She’s starting to get antsy. We may claim to be a proper lady, but the longer we spend with Duane, the more we want him.

  He pulls into the same spot he did a week ago, right next to my truck, and turns off the ignition. “Well, Red, welcome home.”

  I smile at the word, ‘home,’ and force my eyes away from Duane to look at my shop. With tables and chairs sitting in the front, my ‘James Place’ sign hangs just over the door, inviting customers in. Through the glass I can see the wall of books, and the comfy couches.

  Home.

  “It’s good to be home,” I state. “I’ve missed this place.”

  Duane brings his lips to my forehead and kisses softly. “Let’s get you settled in.”

  I nod my head in agreement, and wait for Duane to open my door.

  See? I’ve learned.

  He watches me curiously from his side, and I quirk an eyebrow. “What?”

  Duane exhales with a smirk on his face and shakes his head. I shrug a shoulder because I know what he’s thinking. He’s waiting for me to reach for the door handle, and I am not going to do it…even if I am tempted to reach just to see him squirm.

  Duane laughs to himself and exits the truck. He swings my bag out of the bed of the truck and sets it on the ground before he opens my door. The door creaks as he opens it, and he offers me his hand. “My lady.”

  I swing my legs out, then take his hand. We walk into the front entrance of the shop, and the sweet smell of cupcakes greet me. A squeal from the back breaks through the silent chatter of the customers.

  Giggling, Liv skips into my arms and wraps her tiny self around me, clutching for dear life. I stumble back at the force of her hug, but Duane catches me from behind with his hand on my back.

  “I’ve missed you so much, noob! Welcome home.” Liv screeches when she lets go. She holds my hands in between us and surveys my appearance. “You look great. Peace looks good on you.”

  My eyes shift to Duane. He’s smiling from ear-to-ear, watching the spectacle that is Liv.

  Liv looks over at Duane, who still has his hand on my back. Under Liv’s intense stare, he shifts closer to me, and I instinctively move into his embrace. I watch Liv eye Duane from top to bottom, sizing him up.

  We sit in this staring-awkwardly-at-each-other state until Duane clears his throat and snaps Liv out of her haze.

  She laughs awkwardly, which is odd for her considering she is not one to get embarrassed. In her tight black leather pants, zebra shirt and ankle boots, she looks very posh. She pushes a strand of her light blonde hair out of her face and rubs her right hand on her pants.

  “Oh shit, I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.” She sticks her hand out and addresses Duane. “I’m Olivia. Everyone calls me Liv, though.”

  Duane lets go of my waist and moves forward to shake her hand. “Hey Liv, nice to meet you. I’m Duane.”

  Liv’s eyes move to me with a look of oh we are so talking about this when he is gone, and I clear my throat.

  “I’m sorry the last time you were here we couldn’t talk. We were slammed, and I didn’t want to keep you two,” she adds.

  Duane laughs lightly and combs his hand through his hair. “Yeah, last week was a little crazy.”

  He moves back to my side and wraps his arm around my shoulder. We gravitate toward each other.

  Jason had said something like that to me the other day. We had Brent and his mom Nora over for dinner, and the three of them were outside talking
while Jason and I filled drinks.

  “You guys are like two pieces of metal,” Jason had said. “If one moves, so does the other. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but it’s incredibly good to see someone so in tune with you.”

  Liv huffs in agreement at Duane’s crazy-week statement and puts her hand on my arm. “How are you doing?”

  My head leans on Duane’s chest and I grin. “I’m great. Glad to be home.”

  It’s all over. Things couldn’t get much better. In the span of a week, I’ve dealt with my demons and fought them to the ground. I’d won.

  Holy shit. I freaking won.

  I went to war with my nightmares and came out the victor.

  “I’m glad you’re home. Mia should be here in a few,” Liv says, looking around the shop.

  Duane shifts and picks up my suitcase. “I gotta get back to the ranch. Aiden text me and said a few horses got out and they can’t find them.”

  My heart sinks. He needs to go. Those poor animals are out there somewhere, and a huge storm is about to roll in. As much as I would love for him to stay, he needs to go do his rancher-thing.

  Reading my thoughts, Duane says, “I guess there’s a storm coming. If we don’t find them in time, we could lose them.”

  A few customers walk in. Liv smiles at the two of us, squeezes Duane’s arm and leaves to tend to them.

  I lead Duane up to the loft and turn into his arms as soon as he sets my suitcase down. “I’m going to miss you.”

  Duane’s shoulders shake with quiet laughter and his eyes shine. “I’m only five miles away but, I’ll miss you too,” he says with a smack of my ass.

  I shake my head, mouth gaping fake anger and bring my mouth to his. The kiss is sweet at first. Who am I kidding? Every kiss that Duane gives me is sweet, but the instant his tongue meets mine, all hell breaks loose. We both moan into each other and he slams me against the door.

  He picks me up under my ass, and I bring my legs around his waist to hold on as my hands brush through his hair. His hands travel all over my body, feeling all of my insecurities. But right now, I couldn’t give a crap; he worships my body, and damn if it doesn’t give me confidence that I haven’t had in an extremely long time.

  The taut muscles in his back tense and move, as he breaks the kiss to lick down my neck. I groan at the feel of his hot tongue on my cool skin. He brings that magical tongue up my neck to my ear. Nibbling at my ear lobe, I hear his breathing pick up. Or is it mine?

  Who cares?

  Goose bumps break out all over my body, when his hand finds the hem of my shirt, and he skims the skin just under my right breast with his thumb. I bring my body closer to his hand, wanting more. Always wanting more.

  I grind on his middle with my core, and he hisses through his teeth.

  Gradually, he begins to slow our hot make out session, and groans in pain. “Dammit, woman. You’re making it very hard to leave.”

  He pushes us closer together one last time in the place that I need it the most, and with an angry sigh, he sets me down. My legs are practically noodles when my feet reach the floor.

  I straighten my crinkled shirt and look up at him through my lashes. Bringing us close together, Duane hugs me in a tight embrace.

  Both of us are in a battle with ourselves, not wanting to let go. The moment he begins to loosen his hold, I hold tighter. When I’d think I’m taking too much of his time, I’d start to bring my hands down, he’d growl and pull me closer.

  His phone begins to vibrate, and we finally break apart. Annoyed, he takes his phone out of his back pocket and looks at the screen. “It’s Aiden. I better get going.”

  I bite my bottom lip and nod. “Okay, please be safe.”

  I love you.

  My head does a mental whiplash. Where the hell did that come from?

  Way too early, Ann.

  You know what, screw it. It’s true. I love him. Not that I’d tell him, I know when to keep my mouth shut. I don’t want to scare him away. He’s going off to save horses; the last thing he needs is to worry about telling me he loves me back. No. I want him to feel the same way about me. I’ll say it when it feels right.

  I mean, geeze, we haven’t even been on a proper date yet. All aboard the crazy train. Choo-choo.

  That perfect smile spreads across his flawless face and he kisses my nose. “I will. I’ll call you as soon as I get back in.” He pauses and lays his hands on my shoulders where they meet my neck, and he massages. “Can I please take you out this week? I don’t care what day. You can decide what we do and where we go if you want, but let’s just be together.”

  His request sends flutters to my stomach and heart, so I nod.

  Then, an idea pops into my mind.

  “Of course. Call me when you get everything worked out and we’ll make a date.”

  His eyes shine bright, and he picks me up around the waist and brings us together for another earth-shattering kiss.

  I’m breathless by the time we break apart.

  “I really need to get going,” he says.

  On cue, his phone starts to vibrate, again. We both laugh.

  I playfully push his shoulder, and open the door for him.

  This time, he answers his phone. “I’m coming, asswipe. Now, quit calling.” He ends the call and gives me one last kiss on the cheek.

  In a haze, he winks at me and walks out the door.

  I dreamily sigh staring into the empty room, and walk toward my room. My bed welcomes me with open arms and I gladly run into it, allowing it to engulf me in a cushiony hug.

  It’s sheer panic as I drive onto the ranch. There are at least fifteen men I don’t know running around on horses.

  What the hell is going on?

  I park in the garage and run to find Aiden. The barn is empty, and I walk from stall to stall trying to calculate how many are missing. When Aiden called he said a few horses were let out, along with a couple calves and some pigs. Simon is still in his stall. The chestnut snorts and whinnies at me from the back of his stall. With wild eyes, I pull open the door and put my hands up in surrender. “Easy boy, it’s just me.”

  Simon’s eyes move about, checking me out, and he lets out a little whinny. With a slow pace, he walks up to my hands and nudges his big head into my chest.

  “Good job, buddy. Everything is alright,” I whisper to my old friend, patting his large neck.

  I pet Simon for a few minutes until I figure it’s time to get back to the chaos. When I turn on my heel to head to the tack room, Aiden walks in.

  “Brother,” he breathes, “where the hell have you been? This place is going crazy.”

  The madness I drove up to has died down a bit and only a few guys are running around. “I noticed. What the hell happened?”

  Aiden lifts his straw cowboy hat and wipes the sweat from his forehead. “Hell if I know. This morning I woke up to the entire barn empty. Somehow all of the stalls were opened.”

  “Where is Belle?” I ask. Almost all of the horses are back in the barn but her. She’s about ready to foal, and if there isn’t anyone around to help, the baby might not make it. Belle has been a high-risk all pregnancy from the start.

  “Sam had been staying with Belle all week, but got sick last night. He left in the middle of the night to go to bed. He called beforehand, and I told him it was okay because I was going to get up early. But between the time Sam left and I got up, the barn was broken in to and…well, you know the rest.”

  “Do you have any idea who did it? I mean, shit, Aiden, all the guys that work for us are good guys. They couldn’t have done this,” I say as I pull my boots on my feet and throw my Converse into the tack room.

  Aiden pulls at a bale of hay and sticks a piece in his mouth. “I don’t think any of our guys did it. Cade said he saw a black SUV driving out of here this morning, but figured they got lost.”

  The crack of thunder screams overhead and I flinch at the noise. Simon kicks the side of his stall and I quickly grab a saddle pad
and my saddle. “Listen, we need to find Belle. How many others are still out there?”

  Aiden shakes his head. “We found everyone but Belle. They all stayed around the ranch. Last time any of the guys saw her, she was on the north side of the property. That’s where I just got back from and she wasn’t there.”

  I throw the pad and saddle on Simon, and pray she isn’t where I think she is. “Dammit, I have a feeling I know where she is. Get back on Leo and come with me. I’ll need you if I’m right.”

  Aiden runs off to fetch Leo from the hitching post, while I tighten the cinch on the saddle. Once I slip on Simon’s bit and headstall, I throw myself on his back. With the squeeze of my legs and the cluck of my mouth, Simon bolts.

  I whistle at Aiden, and he and Leo take off in a run to follow me. The clip-clop of the horses’ shoes against the soft dirt is almost soothing as we move further from the ranch and deeper into the woods behind the house.

  The front half of our property is maintained for our fields. Forty acres grow alfalfa hay, and the other ten that sit behind the house aren’t used much. It’s mostly just unused land full of trees, but there’s a part in the fence at the back of the property that has been in desperate need of a repair since our last storm. I’ve yet to fix it, and I hope Belle isn’t out there.

  Galloping at full speed, we make it to the back of the woods. The rain has begun to steadily fall and my hat is the only protection I have against it. I run up and down the fence, hoping to find Belle, but she’s nowhere to be found. My mind starts racing with the worst possible scenarios and I shake my head to empty the thoughts. I can’t lose that horse. She was Mom’s horse. I need to find her. Mom would be devastated.

  I begin to panic when I hear rustling at the end of the fence.

  “Duane, there she is!” Aiden yells over the thunder, pointing to Belle.

  It’s early in the evening and the dark clouds make the backdrop of the scene probably seem worse than it really is. A streak of lightening brightens up the sky, giving me a glimpse of the horse lying on her side about ten feet ahead of us.