Unable to Resist

by Cassie Graham

  Ann shifts upright and sits cross-legged. “That’s not what she said, Duane. She said, and I quote, Duane was deep inside me. Moaning my name.”

  She says the words and I flinch. God, that sounds awful.

  “She was pissed at me,” I say sitting up to join her.

  Ann’s eyes crease. “Why?”

  “Lauren and I dated,” I state.

  Ann’s eyebrows shoot up.

  “We dated for a few months three years ago,” I continue.

  “She was the last girl you dated?” Ann questions. “The one you told me about in the restaurant in Arizona?”

  I nod my head and grab Ann’s hand. “Yes, and it was a mistake. I broke up with her, but I made the mistake of hiring her to be my assistant at the firm. I felt bad for her.”

  Ann tries to pull away, but I grab hold and keep her hand captive.

  “So, she works with you? Every day?” Ann pales, but gives up the struggle, seeing my eyes set on holding her hand through this.

  I methodically rub her hand with my thumb, trying to calm her. “Yes.”

  Taking a few seconds to calm down, Ann groans. “Fine, I’m listening.”

  “She lost her job, so I hired her, but lately I’ve noticed her slowly becoming obsessive,” I pause because saying it out loud seems too real, “with me.”

  Maybe I should be worried.

  Ann hisses under her breath. “I’d say. She was a little manic tonight. I was prepared for a fight, but she just wanted to play the emotional card. Tried to get in my head.”

  Thinking about all the shit that could have spewed out of that woman’s mouth has me seeing red.

  “I want you to know I probably set her off, and I’m sorry.” I rub her hand slightly firmer with the statement.

  “How did you set her off?” Ann questions.

  I scratch my head, and recall my day.

  I had come in at my normal time to find Lauren sitting behind my desk.

  “I immediately got pissed off seeing her in my office,” I reply to Ann. “She should have been sitting behind the reception desk. That was my first clue she was up to no good.”

  “My second clue,” and much more blunt than the first, I think to myself, “was when she stood up.” I stare at Ann, and with exasperated breath, continue. “Bare as the day she was born, the woman was naked from the waist down.”

  I couldn’t believe my eyes. She probably took my stare as a good thing, but it was quite the opposite. I’d never been more turned off in my entire life. I mean, seriously, how sad. She knows I’m with Ann, yet she threw her dignity right out of the window and decided to “surprise me.”

  I think my dick might be shrinking in size just thinking about it.

  Ann’s animalistic snarl accompanies her bolt off the bed. Standing at attention, Ann struggles for words.

  “She—she did what?!” She exclaims. “That bitch—she actually sat in your chair, in your office, naked?” She says the word like it gives her a bad taste in her mouth.

  Her eyebrows are knitted together in rage. If she wasn’t so pissed, I might actually grab her and kiss her senseless, but seeing the shade of red her face has taken makes me second-guess making any sudden movements.

  I can’t forget she is a redhead. Feisty creatures, those ones.

  “I need to punch something.” She starts to pace in a short, quick line. “No, you know what? You need to burn that chair,” she says, stopping to turn toward me. “Did you sit in that chair the rest of the day? Oh my God, you probably did. Burn it, Duane. Burn that chair or, so help me, I’m going to throw the thing at her face.”

  I’m somewhat frightened and turned on at Ann’s outburst.

  I, of course, had very quietly put the chair in a conference room that is nowhere near my office.

  I’m not an idiot.

  “Baby, the chair is gone. I promise. It went to the very nice accounting firm,” I calmly rationalize.

  Ann stops her pacing, takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. She pinches the bridge of her nose, and slowly sits down on the edge of the bed.

  Approaching her is a bit like reaching out to a wild animal. Her eyes are still a bit frantic, so when I lay my hand on her back she tenses a bit, but when I begin to rub soothing circles she composes herself and leans into my hand.

  We sit for a few minutes while we both sort through our thoughts.

  I know Lauren is going to be a problem. I don’t see her giving up just because I fired her. If anything, I probably gave her more ammunition to fight. I really hadn’t thought about that before.

  Shit.

  And, to top it off, Lauren doesn’t just have the standard dad issues. The chick has some serious emotional scarring, and a drug problem.

  When we got together, she’d been sober a year. I have no idea if that still holds. Our company does random drug testing, but she hadn’t had to do one in a while. Although, I don’t think drugs were the cause of her insane behavior today.

  She had a tendency to overdo everything in our short relationship. She called constantly, text every few minutes and overanalyzed every friendship I had. It didn’t matter if I went out for drinks with my friends from work or my cousin, she was always suspicious, always convinced that I was cheating.

  Trust me—she was a big enough handful that I didn’t have time to cheat. Besides, cheating is the pussy’s way out. It’s not my style. Have the balls to say, “we’re done,” and move on.

  “So, what are we going to do about her?” Ann asks.

  I pull her to my lap and hug her with ferocity. “Let me handle her. If she comes back, you call me. I don’t give a shit if she’s all smiles, you still call me. She has some—issues, and has a tendency to be unpredictable.”

  Ann’s eyes scream fifty different questions, but she goes with the obvious one. “Unpredictable? What do you mean?”

  I sigh. “I mean she has an angry streak. She can get out of her own head and do some off-the-wall things. I couldn’t handle you being in the crossfire.” I look into her eyes. “I’d do anything to protect you, Red. Anything.”

  A smile breaks through Ann’s icy exterior, and she lays her head on my chest. “Okay, well, in that case, let’s not give her any more of our time. Any leads on who let the horses out at the ranch?”

  I exhale. “No, the police came out this morning, but couldn’t find anything,” I say as I push her onto the bed. “No more talking.”

  I don’t want to talk about anything negative for the rest of the night.

  She giggles her silly giggle, sounding like the carefree woman she’s working on being and she says, “Okay, now kiss me, you fool.”

  I’m not able to speak before her hands find my hair. The sound that radiates from my mouth is loud, but I don’t give a shit. I attack her mouth with fervor.

  I’m so close to telling her I love her. The words are on the tip of my tongue, waiting to fall out of my mouth at some unexpected moment. She makes me better, she makes me whole. She makes me want to actually live life. Most days, I had been going through living day to day. Was I content? Sure, I guess, but I didn’t know what living meant.

  I guess, looking back, Ann was the same way. Never experiencing life because she was so burdened by her past.

  We make each other better.

  Living with this woman in my life, just makes sense. My world has tilted back into place. I no longer feel off kilter. I was navigating an uphill battle, never getting a chance to rest. She brings out something in me I didn’t know existed. Peace. Serenity. I finally feel—calm.

  I tug on her bottom lip, and she smiles against my mouth. Our kisses have grown a bit frantic as my thoughts finally snap into place. The realization that I love this woman brings out my passion for her. Flipping us over, she squeals and causes me to grin.

  I love that about us. We can go from insane passion to laughing, but it all works for us.

  Just as quick as the laughter came, it’s replaced with our fire. Trailing kisses up and dow
n her neck, the shirt she’s wearing rides up, and I can’t help myself. With a mind of its own, my hand explores her stomach and chills break out under my touch. I can’t help but feel a bit of pride knowing I do this to her.

  “Oh my God, Duane,” Ann moans when my thumb grazes her breast.

  I need her.

  But, no.

  She needs to be wooed. She deserves to be wooed. She deserves to be paraded around town, and shown off. I want everyone to know this incredible, beautiful woman is mine. I’m not blind. I see the looks men give her. Call me a caveman, but I need every lingering stare to know that she is only mine.

  She consumes my every thought. Even while I’m at work, her face seems to work its way into my mind. How I get anything done is beyond me.

  “Red,” I barely whisper in between kisses.

  At this point, my head and my head are arguing for attention and brain cells. One is yelling, “Idiot! Slow down. Respect the woman, for God sake,” and the other is in his zone, sitting on the couch with an easygoing look on his face saying, “It’s alright, man. Just go with the flow. She wants it and you want it. It’s simple.”

  “Baby,” I try again.

  Ann’s almost done with the last button on my shirt when she hmmm’s.

  “Red, baby. Maybe we should take it slow?” It comes out as a question because my damn penis has its own plans. I don’t know if I can resist her if she gives me the green light.

  Be strong, Duane. Be strong.

  My shirt is wide open and Ann is kissing across my chest, nodding her head.

  “Yeah, slow sounds good,” escapes from her mouth.

  She lightly bites my chest, and my head falls back, reveling in the sensation that comes from her gorgeous mouth.

  Another bite snaps me back into my right head.

  “Sweet, girl, you deserve a first date. Let me take you out tomorrow.” I try to glance at the clock. It’s just past midnight. “Tonight, I mean.”

  Shit, I can’t think when she’s sucking on my pecks, and now that I think about it, my pants are becoming more and more uncomfortable. I need to wear baggier jeans, apparently.

  Snaking her way up my body, she leaves a hot, open-mouthed kiss on my neck and smiles before saying, “No, thank you.”

  My head snaps up, getting ready to ask what I did wrong, when she licks my neck up to my ear and whispers. “You’re mine tonight, remember? I have the whole night planned.”

  She bites my neck and my eyes roll back.

  Crap, right. I agreed to let her take the reins tonight. Son of a bitch, I can’t focus on anything except this girl.

  My girl.

  She’s moved back to my mouth. My head is cloudy—foggy. Fuck, there is a torrential downpour in my head right now and all I can do is hold onto her. Exploring her mouth is like going on vacation and finding new places to go; every time I kiss this woman, she proves there’s more reasons to set up shop and never leave. Ann is a vacation I don’t ever want to come home from.

  I pinch my eyes shut and attempt to shut off my horn-dog side. Ann must sense something because she peeks an eye at me and gives me sly smile.

  “What’s wrong, Cowboy?” She asks with a guilty glimmer in her eye.

  She’s teasing me.

  I groan, level my eyes and smack her ass. “You maddening woman,” I exasperate.

  Ann ducks her head into my chest to hide her quiet laughter. Further proving her point, Ann wiggles her butt, in turn, rubbing against the damn rock in my jeans. I groan in pain and pleasure. I’d gladly take both at this point.

  “You better watch yourself, Red,” I warn with laughter in my voice. “You keep teasing me like this and I might have to figure out a good punishment.”

  Ann’s eyes cloud with sexual tension and she lowers her voice. “What kind of punishment would I get, Cowboy?”

  Fuck me.

  My mind instantly goes to all sorts of dirty places. I’d love to tie my girl up. Maybe blindfold her while I drive her insane with pleasure.

  No. Dammit, no.

  I need to get this girl to stop being coy and—Jesus—I audibly take a deep breath and let it out, she needs to stop being so sexy.

  With one last smack on her ass, I flip her over and move off of the bed, putting my hands up in front of me, gesturing for her to stop. She’s got that predatory look in her eye as she lifts her body up from the bed to come toward me.

  “No, woman. Stop right there. I’m going to go home and you need to go to sleep. You’ve got to be tired.”

  She shrugs her little shoulder and gives me another inviting look, motioning at the empty space in her bed.

  I run my hands through my hair and laugh.

  “Stay with me tonight?” She questions, looking a little vulnerable.

  I look her pleading eyes and I can’t tell her no. Plus, who am I kidding? I want to stay with her. I was hoping she’d ask.

  I nod my head and finish taking off my shirt, then turn around to throw it over the chair sitting next to the window. Next come my socks, then my jeans. I’m still hard, and it seems distance from her doesn’t even help.

  I take a peek at Ann over my shoulder to notice she’s already changed and is climbing into bed. Wearing the shortest shorts I’ve ever seen and a tight tank top, my hands itch to touch her. She notices me openly eyeing her and pulls her knees to her chin, watching me with a curious glint in her eye. Turning around to look at her full on, I watch her eyes slowly travel the length of my body, stopping at my boxer briefs. Unashamed, we both sit in this lustful haze. Her staring at me, seemingly memorizing every freckle, and me entertaining her fascination, amused and humbled by the depth in her expression

  Someone slams a door downstairs, and Ann looks up into my eyes. A shy smile claims her face, and I lick my lips.

  Fucking gorgeous woman.

  “Liv must be back. I asked her and Mia to leave for a bit while you were here,” she admits.

  I nod my head, then pull the sheets back and crawl across her bed. As soon as the sheet hits my back, I coax Ann to my side and she snuggles into my chest.

  Arms and limbs wrapped in each other, I fight the urge to close my eyes. Now that I’m finally able to hold her with certainty that she’s mine, I want to relish in every second we have. Sleeping away from her at Jason’s was pure torture. I don’t want to miss any mumble or content sigh. I want to file every little sound she makes away in my mind to remember this feeling.

  I stay awake for hours simply enjoying our closeness.

  The bright sun shines through the curtains, and I close my eyes, shielding them from the harsh light. My room faces the east, and the morning always brings vivid color as the sun rises. Judging by the position of it in my window, I’d say it’s almost seven.

  I pull the covers up to my chin, and sigh.

  His scent hits me before my brain can register Duane being in bed with me. The smell of hay and clean body soap permeates my senses and I scoot closer into his embrace. Duane’s body is melded to mine from behind. Every part of my body is touching his—legs on legs, middles lined up perfectly and his arms are securely around me, holding tight. I pulled my hair up in the middle of the night, and Duane’s face is buried in my neck.

  I wiggle my toes because it’s the only part of my body that can do any moving without waking Duane. A soft snore comes from him and I smile to myself while pivoting my feet under the blanket trying to circulate some blood.

  I’m pretty surprised at myself. Last night was uncommon for me. I’m never as forthcoming when it comes to things like staying the night. I just can’t seem to control myself when it comes to Duane. I’m probably giving the poor guy blue balls. I need to stop teasing until I know the time is right for us to take it to the next level. It’s pretty unfair to do that to him knowing how it—I mean how I affect him. Seeing his internal struggle play out on his face makes me feel powerful. I love it.

  I love him.

  God, I love him.

  I can’t believe I ca
n say with complete certainty I love him. I’ve always hated those girls who fall in love so quickly. Insta-love. Gag. Maybe it’s because I haven’t really tried to love since Kyle, but my capacity for love was set into overdrive when I realized I actually could. My sheltered heart hindered me from opening up to anyone, and now that I have finally found the peace to do it, it’s instantaneous. It’s easy as breathing. I can’t do anything but love him.

  The sun is still peeking over the horizon through my window, so I know I can’t stay in bed much longer.

  I’m dreading today; it’s going to drag on. I just feel it. Simply knowing I’m going to be with Duane tonight makes me beyond excited.

  Though, accompanying the giddiness pulsing through my body, I also feel a bit of anger. I know I told Duane I wouldn’t give “The Bitch” anymore of my time, but she keeps creeping back of my thoughts.

  She has some serious balls. Naked? In his office? I mean, really? Is she that crazy she thinks she needs to sway him her way by bare-assing his damn office chair? Just thinking about doing anything that creepy makes my skin crawl. If Duane were to ever tell me he doesn’t want me, I’d be out of his life. It would hurt like hell. I’d be heartbroken. My life would be bleak in comparison to the life I was imagining with him, but I’d leave. I’m not the kind of girl to grovel for a man’s attention.

  My anger spikes and I bite my lip to keep from bolting out of bed to pace again. Shit, perspective—that’s what I need.

  I’m lying here in Duane’s arms for God sake. I’ve won. If he wanted to be with her, he wouldn’t have flown over here as fast as he did, and he sure as heck wouldn’t be in my bed all night.

  Duane mumbles my name in his sleep and I close my eyes to keep from squealing.

  Oh yeah, I totally won.

  How can I let her get to me? This man, this incredible, giving man wants to make it work with me. Me.

  I’ve never really felt worthy of anyone, not even Kyle.

  He was always so poised and put together. I always felt like a mess when I stood next to him. It didn’t help he came from so much money. I know my family had money, but Kyle’s family owns most of Arizona. The boy, as wholesome and caring as he was, threw money away like it was trash. They had a lot, and I imagine they still do. Because we didn’t own a third of what his family did, they always looked down their noses at me. Anytime their eyes would slide my way, they’d look right through me, you know what I mean? I didn’t exist. When you grow up in a world centered on money, and you sit at the lower end of the totem pole, people look at you with disdain.