Eyes Turned Skyward

by Rebecca Yarros

  Food was scattered everywhere, the trays lying haphazardly along a line of dress shoes. I closed my eyes for a moment, taking in enough oxygen to power my brain and not my fists. “You okay?” Josh asked quietly.

  I nodded, and he released my arms.

  Then I turned to look at Paisley. Her mouth hung agape, her eyes huge, frightened. Then she slowly closed her mouth, the line tense, shook her head, and walked right past me to Will. Guess the guy who starts the fight doesn’t get the girl. I might have kicked his ass, but he’d won this round.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Paisley

  Oh, forget it. Not everything has a flippin’ box.

  Will was a mess, his face already swelling and blood trickling from one nasty cut above his eye. Jagger had beaten the crap out of him.

  “He’s right, you know,” Will whispered brokenly, so only I could hear him. “I shouldn’t have told. I should have been there, too.”

  “I know,” I whispered, my hand going to my head, which felt like it wasn’t attached to my body. Nausea hit me hard. I shouldn’t have taken those meds on an empty stomach. Rookie mistake.

  “Lieutenants!” Daddy yelled in that voice, the one that commanded attention over parade fields. The one he’d never used in this house. “Office. Now!”

  The room cleared. Will stood slowly, and I couldn’t bring myself to look at Jagger as he walked by. Who is he? Do I even really know? I’d never seen someone with that much rage in his body. He’d hurt someone I cared about, not that Will hadn’t deserved it. But did anyone, really?

  My heart pounded, the beat forceful, and my stomach turned.

  “You okay?” Ember whispered.

  I sat on the stairs rather ungracefully, but happy I hadn’t collapsed to the floor. I laid my head on my knees. “I’m all right.” Crud. I even sounded breathless.

  “You don’t look it,” Ember said.

  I glanced up as the staff came into the foyer, cleaning up the mess that covered the floor. Mom glared at me, but with everything that had transpired tonight, she knew better than to start again. We’d both firmly dug our trenches, as she confirmed by shaking her head at me like she couldn’t believe I’d let this happen in her house.

  My mouth filled with saliva. Oh, no. I barely made it to the powder room in time. Thank God there hadn’t been a line. I heaved what was left of my lunch into the toilet. When my stomach was empty, I dry heaved until sweat broke out on my forehead.

  “Paisley?” Ember called through the door.

  “Just a minute,” I replied, as chipper as possible when kneeling on a bathroom floor. I stood slowly, my knees wavering, and cleaned up quickly.

  “Sit down,” she ordered, taking my elbow as I walked into the entry.

  “I’m just really tired.” I felt sluggish, like my heart wasn’t even going to try to keep up with me. The new meds. I was getting hit with the side effects.

  “Can we take you home?” Josh asked, sitting on the other side of me.

  “She is home…kind of,” Ember answered. “Do you want me to get your mom?”

  “Oh, she’s the last thing I need. Yes, please, take me home. I’m incredibly tired.”

  The glass doors to Daddy’s office swung open. Will and Jagger stumbled out, both holding ice packs to various parts of their bodies. I didn’t want to see either of them.

  “Lee,” Will started, his tone that apologetic one he used right before he started an it’s-for-your-own-good speech.

  “No. I don’t want to hear it.” I looked up, focused on Jagger. His face looked like a Picasso painting, swollen in places it shouldn’t be and turning colors. They both did. “Not from either of you.”

  Jagger’s head snapped like I’d slapped him. “Just go home,” I told him. “I can’t even begin to think of what to say to you after that.”

  He walked over slowly and took my hand, turning it palm up. He placed something cool and circular in the palm, then closed my fingers over it and walked away. The door clicked shut.

  I opened my hand to look, but I already knew he’d given me back the nickel, and I knew what he was asking.

  He needed me to stand by my word not to abandon him like everyone else he’d walked away from. I clenched the nickel in my hand as the countdown was called out from the living room. Ten. Nine. Eight.

  I stood, wobbly but capable. Kind of.

  Seven. My feet felt impossibly heavy, but I ran to the door and swung it open. “Jagger!” I called out, unable to run any farther. Six. Five. Four.

  He turned and ran toward me. Three. Two. He caught me in his arms as the voices finished the countdown inside.

  One. “Happy New Year,” I whispered and kissed him.

  He lifted me easily, holding me close with one hand under my hips and the other tight across my back. “Happy New Year,” he replied, and kissed the breath out of me.

  Thank God he held me tight.

  Because I didn’t have the strength to stand on my own.

  Something warm pressed against me and wrapped around my stomach. My heart beat normally, and I sent up a little prayer of thanks. It took a couple tries, but I lifted the steel curtains of my eyelids only to be met by more darkness. A clock on the unfamiliar bedside table read 3:43 a.m., and the wall I faced was bare but for the window. It was covered by thick drapes that opened only wide enough to let in a small stream of light. I had no idea where I was, but the scent that enveloped me was familiar.

  “Jagger?”

  He rolled to hover just above me. “You fell asleep on the way home, so I brought you here. Paisley, I’m sorry about tonight. I was so angry, and when your mom told me Carter was the one who ratted us out, I just lost it. It was inexcusable. I apologized to your father as soon as we got into his office. I won’t ever let you down like that again,” he promised. “What I did to Carter…”

  “You destroyed his face,” I accused softly. “Not that you look much better.” I skimmed my fingers over the dark splotch of color on his cheek, and he flinched.

  “I’ve always…had a temper, but I’ve never attacked anyone like that, I swear. It was the first time, and the last.” He looked into my eyes like they were the measure of truth.

  I didn’t know how to respond to that. He’d been wild, and physical violence wasn’t anything I handled well. “It’s not okay, and I can’t pretend that it is. You…you can’t ever do anything like that again.”

  “I won’t. I promise. Did it cost me you?” The light was dim in the room, but enough shone through to make out the fear shooting through his wide eyes.

  A dozen heartbeats passed before I could answer him. If anything, tonight showed me how little time I had left to make my choice. But what time I had? I was going to give it to him. “No. I’m not going to walk away from you over this. Not when I promised you forgiveness.” The nickel. He’d actually kept it.

  He sighed, his whole body sagging along my side. “You won’t be sorry. I swear, you won’t regret this. Any part of it.”

  My eyelids felt ridiculously heavy. “I could never regret you.” I rested my hands over his heartbeat. His forehead dropped to touch mine, his breath sweet in my face like he hadn’t even been asleep. It felt so good to be in his bed, in his arms, safe and cherished, not stifled.

  “I’ll fix it with your parents. I know they’re important to you, but I might need your help. Family isn’t something I know a lot about since mine is pretty nonexistent.” He kissed my cheek softly, pulling me into his side and draping his arm across my hip. “Sleep, Little Bird. I’ve got you.”

  I threaded my fingers between his, leaving my hand on top as my eyes closed. “I’ve got you, too, and I’ll be your family.”

  For the next 110 days.

  Bacon. The smell woke me. I stretched, my hand smoothing over Jagger’s empty pillow, and opened my eyes.

  I sent a quick text to Morgan, climbed out of bed, used Jagger’s bathroom, and checked my face. No makeup, but the bags weren’t as bad today. Lying in bed al
l yesterday, wrapped in Jagger’s arms for a movie marathon, had definitely done me some good. Now, if they hadn’t all been the Army of Darkness movies, it might have been just perfect.

  It would have been exquisite if he’d not kept himself under complete control and only given me soft, quick kisses.

  I put a bra on under my tank top. There was no way the girls were getting free range at breakfast. Voices carried from the kitchen, and I came around the corner from the hallway to see Grayson at the stove, turning bacon while Jagger beat eggs. Ember sat on Josh’s lap, sipping coffee.

  “Morning,” I said, coming behind Jagger and slipping my hands around his waist. He tensed, and my fingers felt every ridge of his rock-hard abs as I hugged myself to him. A low pang of desire hummed through me, not entirely unwelcome.

  He leaned into me and hummed a moan as I pulled him tighter. “Morning, Little Bird.”

  I pressed a soft kiss to his back and then left him to the eggs, stealing the seat across from Josh and Ember. “You headed back today?”

  A small, sad smile flashed across her face. “Yeah, a little later. I don’t have class until the day after tomorrow, so I’ll stay here as long as I can.”

  Josh flexed his arms around her, putting his nose to her neck like he needed to remember how she smelled.

  “I would, too,” I agreed quietly, sneaking a look at Jagger as he joked with Grayson.

  The doorbell rang, and Jagger made it there before me, opening it for Morgan. “Good morning, folks!” She handed Jagger a basket full of bagels.

  “Um. You shouldn’t have?”

  “Darling, I’m southern. We don’t come over empty-handed.” She flashed him a smile and squeezed my hand, leading me down the hallway. “Here.” She handed me three bottles. “I didn’t want to keep coming over randomly, so I brought them all.”

  I hugged her. “Thank you.”

  “He still thinks it’s asthma?” She raised her eyebrows and cocked her head to the side, letting me know what she thought about that.

  “I’ll tell him,” I promised.

  “When?”

  “Soon.” I led her to the bedroom, took my meds, and stashed the bottles in the duffel bag full of my clothes that she’d brought me yesterday.

  “My goodness. So Mr. California sleeps in a king-size bed, does he?” She ran her hand along the comforter.

  My cheeks heated. “Yes.”

  “And is he?” She looked at me under her lashes.

  “Is he what?” I asked.

  “King-size?” She held her hands out an absurd distance from each other.

  I smacked her shoulder with the back of my hand. “Morgan!”

  “Well, inquiring minds want to know.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

  “I can’t tell what I don’t know.” She beat me to the door, laying her body across the doorknob like a sacrifice.

  “Lee. For the love of all that is right and holy, please tell me you’re not holding out the goods.” She clasped my hands. “You need to have sweaty, hot sex with that man so I can live vicariously, because my gawd!”

  “I’ll be sure to tell him that you vote yes.” I stifled the smile as best I could, but it snuck out.

  “And you vote no?” Her mouth dropped. “Because he can leave his boots under my bed any time.”

  I laughed. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m considering.”

  “And what happened to your live-every-day blah, blah, blah?” she mocked me.

  “It’s kind of battling my don’t-sleep-around inner angel right now.”

  “Well, tell that prudish wench to shut the hell up. You surely deserve a piece of that. Especially since the doc cleared it.”

  “Did you girls want breakfast? Or is there a pillow fight going on that I don’t know about?” Jagger’s voice came through the door. “I mean, I’m cool with that, but an invite would be nice.”

  Morgan sidestepped, and I opened the door to lift an eyebrow at him. Then those dimples made an appearance, and I just shook my head with a sigh. “Feed me?”

  “Absolutely.”

  I introduced Morgan to Ember, and we all crowded the little table, devouring breakfast. I ate quickly, making sure I didn’t get nauseous from taking my meds on an empty stomach.

  “So, Masters, how was your trip home?” Jagger asked between mouthfuls.

  “It was home,” he responded, not looking up.

  “No, no, way too many details, man.” Jagger waved his hand at him. “Anything more and we might actually get to know a little about you.”

  Grayson grunted and polished off his orange juice.

  “Did you make the reservations?” Josh asked.

  “I did. We have three quads at noon,” Jagger answered, and then cringed, peeking at me through one almost-shut eye. “Sorry, Paisley. You were asleep, and Josh asked if we wanted to go four-wheeling, so I answered for us.”

  My mind skipped over the list. Number twenty-nine: get back to nature. “Actually, that sounds perfect.” Morgan raised an eyebrow at me. “It’s not physically taxing,” I mumbled at her.

  “Mmm-hmm. Just be careful.”

  “Morgan, would you like to join us? I’m sure you could ride with Grayson,” Jagger offered.

  Grayson looked impassively at Morgan. I hadn’t seen him look at a girl with anything but dispassion since I’d met him. Morgan wasn’t an exception. “I’d be happy to take you.” Even I could hear the manners talking.

  “Oh, no, thank you. I’m more of an indoor girl.” She checked her phone and squeaked. “Ooh! Speaking of which, it’s pedicure time. Lee, you sure you would rather drive around in the woods than get pampered?”

  Hmm. Hang out getting my feet painted, or press my body against Jagger? “Yeah, I think I’ll stick with Jagger.”

  “Your loss.” She tossed me a wink. “Thank you for breakfast, boys,” she called out, taking her leave.

  “You ready for a ride?” Jagger asked.

  Oh, was I.

  “You know how to drive one of these?” Josh asked me as we sat parked on the outskirts of the jump park, waiting for Jagger and Ember to return from the restroom. We’d been riding a couple of hours already, and the feeling was finally returning to my rear.

  “I spent every summer of my life in southern Alabama,” I answered.

  “So that’s a yes?” He looked over at the jumps.

  “Well, I certainly don’t own my own riding gear and helmet just because I look cute in pink,” I answered with a smile.

  “Ouch.” He slapped his hand over his heart. “You know, that southern accent of yours can be very deceiving. Your words might sound all cute, but they sure have a bite.”

  “Oh, just spend an afternoon with my mother.”

  He shook his head. “Not volunteering for that.”

  I laughed. “Me, either.”

  “Grayson?” he asked.

  “Go ahead, I’ll wait here,” he answered, crossing his arms over his massive frame.

  Josh motioned with his head toward the all-dirt track that filled the football field–size area in front of us, and I nodded, clicking my visor down.

  We took off, tearing around the track. Josh was the faster, but I kept up without being an idiot. Controlling the quad gave me a heady sense of power. I might have been physically weak, but this machine was not. It could run where I couldn’t, so I let it.

  I opened up the throttle, keeping pace with Josh, squeezing the seat with my thighs to make sure I stayed on when I took a turn a little fast. I didn’t have as much weight to anchor me.

  The wind whipped past me, an obscure noise outside my helmet. The hum of the motor and my breath pulsing within my helmet were all I registered. Josh pointed toward the jumps, and a slice of apprehension cut through me, prickling my skin. I’d never jumped before. This was a stupid idea, even for the sake of number thirty—take a leap of faith. Definitely on the doc’s no-no list, but I felt great, and didn’t I know my own body best?

  Ignoring the
sinking pit in my stomach, I gave him a thumbs-up anyway. Josh took the first jump, a small one, only a heartbeat or two in the air. I swallowed that lump in my throat and followed him, clenching my knees around the quad. I hit the jump, launching into the air, and concentrated on keeping my rear on the seat.

  A heartbeat later, my body jarred, returning to earth. I did it! “Eeeee!” Josh gave me a thumbs-up and looked for another jump. We took that one, too, and the lump in my throat dissipated, leaving only the pride that I’d done it all by myself.

  If there had been a country to rule, a kingdom to conquer nearby, I was pretty sure I could have done it. I felt utterly invincible. I glanced at my watch; my heart rate was within guidelines.

  Josh aimed for the biggest jump there, a mammoth thing that I had no business attempting. But I was invincible, right? Living for just this moment. So why not?

  He gassed it, taking the jump at dizzying speed. I followed so quickly behind him that I didn’t bother to count his landing. I was already airborne. My heart hammered dangerously in my chest, my only companion in the absolute silence. Josh landed, nearly losing his grip on the quad. Oh, no.

  My wheels struck the ground mercilessly. I hung on at impact, but physics kicked in. The quad bounced, recoiling, and my body with it, pulling with a force I couldn’t combat. That heartbeat lasted an eternity. My fingers lost their grip on the handles when the rest of my body had already given up the fight.

  This was going to hurt.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Paisley

  14. Yes, please.

  I watched the quad fly ahead of me with an odd curiosity, physics propelling it forward. The ground rushed up, and I remembered the basic rule of falling off—roll.

  I didn’t fight my momentum as my body crashed to earth, instead I worked with it, landing on the diagonal and rolling limply, trying not to tense.

  The impact crushed my theory of invincibility. Pain erupted in every cell of my body. The world turned end over end, a bizarre kaleidoscope of red Alabama clay and blue sky. I closed my eyes and surrendered, simply waiting for it to be over. Too many flips later, I stopped.