The Darkest Hour: A San Diegan Novel

by S. M. Soto

  I feel possessed.

  Which is absolutely ludicrous, because I have no right to feel this way about a man I’ve known no longer than two minutes.

  “It’ll get easier; just give yourself time to adjust.” Natalia reassures with a small smile.

  “You should go out with us some time.” Sam offers. “I mean even though I have to force Natalia here to get her damn nose out of the books and enjoy the world filled with beautiful cocks, you should still totally come along,” she suggests. “Sure as shit looks like you need it.”

  Natalia scowls across the table at Sam, flipping her the bird.

  “I’m only here on a scholarship, Sam. I can’t afford to be careless and lose it.” Natalia reminds Sam for what sounds like the 100th time. “That’s why my nose is so deep in those books. I have no interest in partying with cocks; and you don’t always have to drag me out with you. Remember that one time we went to the club in Gas Lamp District?”

  Sam bursts out laughing and Natalia soon starts laughing with her. I can’t keep the smile off my face. I don’t know what’s so funny, but it really doesn’t even matter at this point.

  “That was seriously the best night of my life,” Sam says while wiping the moisture beneath her eyes from laughter. “So what do you say, Ohio?” Sam gives me her best impression of puppy dog eyes and I’m sold.

  God damn puppy dog eyes.

  We make plans for our next day off since the three of us usually work all night. I know I should be excited about doing a girl’s night, but I’m more nervous than anything. It’s been close to five years since I’ve gone out with a group of friends and did something that constitutes as a ‘girl’s night’.

  What have I gotten myself into?

  By the time evening rolls around, the bar and grille is filled with patrons and all of us employees scramble around taking and delivering orders. It’s complete chaos; the atmosphere zinging with electricity. I’m waiting at the bar for Sam to complete my drink order when Natalia comes up beside me face scrunched up in anger. She’s fuming—quite literally. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so angry.

  “Hey what’s going on?”

  Natalia takes a deep breath, trying to control herself.

  “I’m officially convinced my sister is the Anti-Christ.”

  “I could’ve told you that sweetie,” Sam says, joining in on the conversation as she slides my order across to me. I furrow my brows in confusion.

  “Why the Anti-Christ?” I shift my gaze from Sam to Natalia.

  “Half-sisters,” Sam says like that explains everything. My expression doesn’t waver, and she groans in exasperation.

  “Keep up, Ohio! They are half-sisters, and let me tell you Natalia is the angel out of the two because I seriously can’t even stand that bitch.” Sam spits out in disgust. I raise a curious brow at Natalia who just shrugs her shoulders like she doesn’t know what else to say.

  “Georgina thinks everything is a competition with us. She’s older, so she’s always blamed me and my mother for coming along and ruining her version of a ‘perfect family’,” she says air quoting. “It’s not my fault my dad couldn’t keep it in his pants, you know? I love my dad don’t get me wrong, but there are so many things he could’ve done differently. My sister was always the center of his attention—his priority. But still she resents me for my very existence,” she says with a defeated sigh. “I’m so sick and tired of it. I just want to finish college and move the hell on.”

  “Speaking of the devil,” Sam grumbles pointedly, staring at something behind us. I turn around in sync with Natalia, just as a fair skinned girl struts up to the bar. She’s tall—much taller than Natalia, with light brown hair pulled into a tight knot at the top of her head and designer clothing.

  “Natalia. We need to chat,” Georgina says directly to Natalia. She doesn’t bother acknowledging me or Sam.

  “Gina, I’m working right now. Can’t it wait until later?”

  “Some of us actually have real responsibilities to get to, thundercunt.” Sam sneers, gaining Georgina’s attention.

  “Samantha,” She says coldly. “I see you’re still living the dream behind a bar. I’m so jealous of all your success,” Gina says sarcastically.

  “As you should be.” Sam gives a smarmy smile. “I see you still haven’t been sent back to hell yet, such a shame. I was hoping you’d be rotting somewhere in the underworld.”

  “Okay, both of you; knock it off,” Natalia warns turning to face her sister. “We can talk later, Gina; just not while I’m at work.”

  Georgina’s face sours. She sends a nasty glare toward Sam before marching back to her table. Sam grumbles angrily behind the bar about beating a bitches’ ass. It’s comical.

  “Drop it Sam. Cussing her out in a public setting won’t change anything.”

  “Like hell!” Sam shouts glaring daggers in Natalia’s sister’s direction.

  “Do you want me to take over her table for the rest of the night?” I chime in.

  Natalia clasps her hands in front of herself graciously.

  “Thank you, Aliza! I was dreading waiting on her table the rest of the night,” she says with a relieved smile, pulling me in for a huge hug.

  Well, this should be fun.

  I finish dropping off all my other orders before making my way to Natalia’s sisters table. Even though they both share half the same blood, there’s no resemblance between the two of them. It’s sort of like night and day. Natalia is without a doubt the better-looking sister, and from the sounds of it, she’s better on the inside as well. Georgina is fair skinned with brown eyes and a horrible case of resting bitch face.

  “Here is the surf and turf you guys ordered. I’ll be your waitress for the rest of the night, is there anything else I can get you guys?” I ask politely while placing their dishes down.

  “Yeah, actually there is. Where’s Natalia? Did she send you in her place?” She rolls her eyes on a scoff. “Of course she did, why did I even ask?”

  “Actually, no she didn’t.” I defend. “She has a full workload already, and she was actually helping me out with your table because you guys are actually seated in my section,” I say hoping to quell some of the hatred I can sense she has for her sister.

  How can someone hate their own sister so passionately? It’s baffling. If my sister were still here, I’d cherish every waking moment I still had with her—not make her life a living hell.

  “Alright, whatever; couldn’t really care less about your work load. Just get me a coke. I’ve been waiting over twenty minutes for one,” she says expectantly.

  Which is a lie, her and her friends haven’t even been here twenty minutes, but I nod anyway and head back to the bar for a coke meeting up with Natalia.

  “I agree,” I say loud enough for Sam and Natalia to both hear. “Your sister is definitely the Anti-Christ.”

  “Told you,” Natalia says sheepishly.

  “That bitch is like a rabid dog she needs to be put down.” Sam hisses, making me and Natalia laugh.

  For the first time since working here, tonight they’re finally making use of the stage. Undiscovered bands and singers take the stage in succession singing their own material or cover songs. All of them are good—like really, good. I can’t help but stop everything I’m doing to watch them perform. I’ve never been to any live shows, or concerts, so this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to one. The way the band members and singers interact with the crowd in here, it’s all so lively, and soulful. I love it. A small smile tugs at the corners of my lips at the band’s song choice: Santeria by Sublime.

  “They’re good, aren’t they?”

  A jolt of electricity travels through my body, and I startle at the deep timbre of the voice beside me. I swing my gaze to Chase, who’s standing next to me with his eyes focused on the stage.

  “Y-yeah. They’re awesome.” I stutter and clear my throat so I don’t sound like a nervous wreck. “Actually, everyone who performed tonight was real
ly good. I can’t believe they’re not famous yet.”

  “Yeah, you’d be surprised how much talent out there goes unseen.”

  I focus back on the performance and watch as the lead vocalist closes his eyes, and pushes himself to hit the high notes of the song. I can see the vein in his neck bulging, even from my position a few feet away.

  “I can’t believe how talented these people are. It’s amazing watching them. I can see how much they love doing this; it’s like watching them pour their heart and soul into every lyric.”

  I can feel the heat of Chases stare at the side of my head, and I blush under the intensity. I’m starting to wish I would’ve kept all my thoughts to myself. What the hell do I know about what musicians feel?

  “I’ve never really paid attention, but now that you say that, I can see it.”

  I shift my gaze to his, and my heart flutters wildly at the adorable crease in his cheek. Sapphire eyes search mine, and I can’t help but wonder what he’s trying to find in the depths.

  “I guess it’s easy to overlook some things,” he says quietly, and I swallow thickly. A slow and crooked smile pulls at the corner of his mouth and my breath catches.

  “Have a good night, Aliza.”

  I watch his form slowly disappear through the patrons standing around watching the live performance. Shaking out of my trance I scurry back to work, having been distracted enough for one night. All thanks to my boss.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “How’s the bar and grille treating you so far?” Mr. Walker asks over his cup of steaming coffee. We both agreed on having brunch with coffee and cookies on my days off so we can talk to each other. I know it’s strange, brunch with an old man who isn’t even your grandfather. But truth be told, something about him makes me feel comfortable—important even, like my life is worth fighting for. And that’s what I plan on doing. He also gives kickass advice, and tells some damn good stories.

  “It’s actually not bad so far. I’ve gotten pretty close with two of the waitresses there. I might even call them friends.” I air quote around friends. Mr. Walker rolls his eyes on a rumbling laugh.

  “God forbid you have friends.”

  He gets serious, giving me a stern look before he goes off on another one of his life lessons.

  “You need to go out, and enjoy your youth. You should be making friends, and falling in love. Do everything a young woman like you should be doing.”

  I deflate at his words. I know I should listen, but I can’t stand hearing the same thing over and over. The ‘I deserve to be happy’ or the ‘move on and make the most out of life’ speech ordeal. Easy for everyone else to say, they haven’t lived the past three years in complete agonizing darkness. Most of our conversations always come back to the same issue; the fact that I don’t let anyone in, which keeps me from moving forward with my life. Blah, blah, bah. It’s not that simple though. I can’t just one day wake up and forget I was dealt a shit hand of cards in this life.

  I stare into the concerned face of Mr. Walker and smile as best as I can to ease his worry. Taking an exaggerated breath, I roll my eyes playfully. “I’m trying.” I expel a groan. And I really am. Natalia and Sam are the closest I’ve gotten to having friends since senior year in high school.

  “Good,” he says with a small satisfied smile before finishing off the last of his coffee. He rises from the sofa, setting his empty cup on the small coffee table and makes his way to the door. I get up quickly to help him out the door and walk him home. I reach out for his arm and the look he pins me with makes me feel like a five-year-old girl being scolded.

  We do this all the time.

  I raise my hands up quickly backing off. If I didn’t know any better, I’d be convinced this old man invented the death glare. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Arthur in our short time together is that he does not like me offering him any kind of assistance. This happens after every one of our discussions. I offer help and he bites my head off for it.

  “Child if you don’t stop treating me like I’m a hundred God damn years old I just might roll over and kick the bucket!”

  He continues out the door and I scowl at his retreating form. Mr. Walker seems to take good care of himself; he’s in decent shape but I can’t help that I always want to be his personal aid to and from our places.

  Stubborn old man.

  “There’s nothing wrong with needing a little help every now and then, Mr. Walker!” I shout snarkily from my front door as he walks down my sidewalk. He stiffly flips me the bird and shakes his head, all the while mumbling to himself. I sputter a laugh and reach out to shut the door just before I hear him shout back.

  “Maybe you should take your own advice!”

  My laughing ceases and I don’t miss the defeat in my shoulders. I close the door with a huff.

  Infuriating, stubborn old man for sure.

  Chapter Eighteen

  After Mr. Walkers departing words, I spend way too much time inside my own head, questioning myself and my actions—which is never a good thing. In hopes to distract myself, I planned to do some shopping around town and spend some money I received from my first check. Spending money always helps.

  Opting for a quick shower and a casual outfit, I throw my blonde locks into a messy bun and toss on a pair of jean shorts with a tan knit top. That’s all the effort I’m putting into my appearance today. The heat here is way different than our Pennsylvania summers. Don’t get me wrong it’s warm here, but the breeze from the ocean keeps you reasonably cool. Whereas, in Pennsylvania, it’s either extremely hot or extremely cold; there’s not really an in between. It’s taking some getting used to on my part.

  After buying a new iPhone at a local AT&T I walked along the sidewalk with a giddy smile. I never understood why people spent so much money on a phone, but my curiosity got the better of me. I gave in, seeing what all the fuss was about. Plus, Natalia and Samantha won’t stop nagging me about it.

  I watch in fascination as people around me hastily shop or hurriedly head in opposite directions while tourists walk around with cameras snapping photo after photo. The sky is cornflower blue today without a cloud in sight, and the warmth of the sun tingles on my bared skin. A few outfits displayed on the mannequins in the window a few yards ahead capture my attention. Heading inside I sigh with pure feminine happiness at all the clothes I see before me.

  Erin’s Boutique.

  The boutique is small but tastefully decorated. Clothes, bags, shoes, and jewelry line every surface. I’m in heaven. I head toward the rack filled with an abundance of colors and sift through the clothes looking for something I like or anything that catches my eye. My attention perks up when I hear raised voices coming from the back. I freeze, stilling my hand above the hangers on the rack. I shake my head berating myself for being so nosey and get back to looking for clothes. I stop sifting through the racks completely when I hear a distinctly familiar voice.

  “Erin, I’m not going to ask you again, where is it?” Chase grinds out.

  I freeze my movements on the rack. My heartbeat immediately kicks up speed, and those butterflies make the usual appearance whenever he’s around. I stealthily make my way toward the voices.

  “Oh, c’mon baby.” A female voice croons. “You’re angry over nothing, CJ. One of us here had to take the first step, so I took the plunge.”

  The sound of her voice grates on my nerves. She reminds me of a pip squeak, and I roll my eyes in irritation.

  “Jesus Christ, Erin,” he grumbles. “We are not together. There is no plunge to take. I fuck you, you fuck me. It’s convenient and that’s it.” He growls and she scoffs.

  An audible gasp escapes my throat and my eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. I don’t have any right to be angry but I feel my temper rise. Just the thought of Chase sleeping with other women is disappointing. It’s like finding out the celebrity who’s your imaginary husband now has a girlfriend—it’s dream crushing. The butterflies in my stomach have now dissi
pated into a hollow sensation. I faintly hear the woman snort and I hold my breath afraid they’ll hear my loud breathing. My eyes scan around the store checking that the coast is clear. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary I creep closer to their conversation.

  “You and I both know that’s not true CJ. I’m the only one you always come back to when you fuck half the women in this city. You can’t get enough of me. Admit it!” She hisses. “I’m doing you a favor, you were too afraid to commit so I did it for you.”

  A loud bang against the wall startles me causing me to jump back. My breath stills, and my throat goes dry.

  Jeez. This is so intense.

  “Just give me the key, Erin. We agreed this wasn’t serious. We fucking agreed so stuff like this doesn’t happen!” he shouts. “You can’t just steal my key and make yourself a copy. Are you insane?”

  I inch a little closer to the wall they are arguing behind trying to get a glimpse of the woman. Who is she?

  “Don’t be like this CJ,” She whines. “I love y-”

  “Can I help you?” My heart drops into my stomach and I whirl around to a woman standing behind me with her arms crossed over her chest.

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  She arches her eyebrow sternly and I shift uncomfortably from foot to foot feeling like I was caught red handed. It’s feels like the rug has been pulled from beneath me, and I’m unable to catch my balance. I open my mouth to come up with a decent excuse but come up short. I have nothing to say for myself right now. Instead of playing it off, I stand like a gaping fish. Chase and his mystery woman must hear our voices because they come out from behind the wall.

  Chase’s eyes land on me instantly and the cold expression that was just there turns into one of shock. I can’t look away fast enough. Heat crawls up my skin making it feel like I’m standing in a furnace.