The Darkest Hour: A San Diegan Novel

by S. M. Soto

  I right my footing and continue walking like I haven’t spotted him. Or her. Just act natural, is all I can keep telling myself. The atmosphere around me changes, and I immediately know it’s because he’s noticed me. The very air around me sparks with electricity–thickens noticeably. I can feel his intense stare on me, heating me from every angle.

  “Why don’t you ladies take a seat, there’s shot glasses and tequila there,” Alex says gesturing to the table in the center with all the alcohol. The large booth wraps around the table with an opening on each end for people to slide in or out. I force Natalia to sit first with a nudge to her back so she’s closest to Chase and his girls.

  “Everyone pretty much knows everyone here except, Ohio,” Sam says from beside me. “Everyone, I’d like you to meet my new friend, Ohio.” I shoot a glare in her direction for making me the center of attention. At least she has the decency to look apologetic.

  “I meant, Aliza. No one here gets to call her Ohio but me, got it?” I briefly flick my eyes around the table and everyone just nods their heads going back to their original conversations. All but one. Erin straightens in her seat, crossing her arms over her busty chest, pushing her breasts up in an indecent way. Her face visibly sours, and her animosity toward me travels in waves across the space between us. I make the mistake of looking at everyone seated at the booth. And by everyone, I mean Chase.

  His heated gaze sends a ripple through my body and I’m momentarily stunned by the intense depth of his blue gaze. My breathing has sped up as well as my now frantic beating heart. I place my hand over my stomach to stop the sensation of an angry hornet’s nest buzzing around in there. Chase’s blue eyes sparkle under the dim lights of the club; they’re still as beautiful in the dark night of the club as they are in daylight.

  “Aliza,” he says in greeting with a slight nod of his head.

  “Chase,” I say coolly, too coolly. His lip twitches slightly like it always does when he tries to hide a smile.

  Smug bastard.

  I inwardly roll my eyes and focus on someone else, anyone else. When I look at Sam and Natalia they’re staring at me with confused expressions prompting me to raise my brows in question. Natalia discretely leans into me, whisper shouting, “You call him Chase!” I flinch away from her tone and scowl at her.

  I’ve noticed that no one calls him Chase; he’s either CJ or boss. I never thought it was a big deal until now, and from the look on Natalia’s face, I’d say it’s a really, big deal.

  “He told me to call him that.”

  “Wow.” Natalia stares at me like I have two-heads, with her jaw on the floor. I pinch her inconspicuously under the table and she flinches in her seat with a loud squeak. She glares in my direction and I glare right back, willing her to drop it already. It’s just a name, so what if he had me call him by his real name and not his nickname. That doesn’t mean anything.

  Right?

  “He told me his name was Chase, not CJ, so that’s what I plan on calling him. Now, shut up before we attract everyone’s attention.” I scold.

  Natalia nods her head; through narrowed slits she gives me a look that lets me know we’ll be having words later.

  “So, like are you from Ohio?” The blonde girl sitting on the opposite side of Chase asks me.

  “Actually, no. I’m from Pennsylvania,” I say to her with a forced smile, I dart my eyes to Chase who is just sitting back staring at me. His expression is blank and I’m not sure what to make of the look. Erin’s well-manicured hand skates across his chest unabashedly, and I nearly throw up the bitter bile rising in my throat.

  “So then why does your friend call you Ohio?” The blonde asks again. She looks deeply confused and it takes everything in me not to laugh at her. She’s probably the reason us blondes have the stupid stereotype, because holy crap this girl is idiotic.

  “Hey, bottle blonde!” Sam yells from Alex’s lap across from me. “Did you not hear me when I said no one calls her Ohio but me?” She looks at the blonde like she has shit for brains and I can feel Natalia shaking against me. I quickly turn to look at her, and realize she’s laughing.

  “Just sit this one out Aliza,” Natalia whispers in my ear through her laughing. When I look back toward the blonde I see Chases lip twitching uncontrollably.

  He wants to laugh. He wants to laugh so badly that his whole lip is twitching trying to hold it in. That makes me smile.

  “All I did was ask if she was from Ohio.” The blonde huffs in defense.

  “Did I say you could ask? If she wanted you to know where she was from she would’ve announced it to the whole damn table, don’t you think?”

  The blonde just rolls her eyes and flips her hair before turning back to Chase and rubbing his arm. My whole body tenses at the sight and my hands curl into fists on their own accord once again.

  “So, there’s nothing going on, huh?” Natalia whispers knowingly in my ear. My mouth straightens into a thin grim line. Natalia laughs lightly beside me and gently pries my fists open without attracting too much attention.

  “Are all the girls in Pennsylvania as sickly looking as you?” Erin asks snarkily. I go stiff as a board, and clench the fists that Natalia just worked so hard to unclench. Her words sent a pang through my chest, because she’s obviously the better looking one out of us. Her countless cosmetic procedures made sure of that. I’ve always hated my gangly skinny body, but right now, I despise it.

  “There’s nothing wrong with the way Aliza looks.” Natalia defends from beside me. She turns her whole body, facing Erin.

  “I guess there isn’t, if you like looking at a ten-year-old girl.” I flinch at her words, and she smiles maliciously.

  “Erin.” Chase growls from beside her in warning. Heat rises to my face in shameful embarrassment. All the words leave me without the strength to defend myself. What am I supposed to say to that anyway? I’ve never been good at comebacks.

  “Hey, human mattress! Jealousy doesn’t suit your already fucked up face, so why don’t you do everyone a favor and shut the fuck up.” Sam practically yells at Erin.

  “Look who’s talking.” Erin taunts Sam. The table erupts in chaos when Sam lunges across the table reaching for Erin. She struggles to her feet, but she’s being held back by Alex’s thick arms around her waist. The sudden urge to pee is my only saving grace out of this situation. Over the noise at our table, I ask Natalia where the restrooms are in hopes I can escape the escalating drama.

  “I’ll take her.” Chase chimes, rising from his side of the booth. I freeze in my seat. My eyes bug out of my head, and I look to Natalia for help. She shrugs her shoulders and makes a point to look toward Chase. I know I should get up and follow him, but I’m unable to move. Erin narrows her eyes at me, and her nostrils flare in anger.

  “I thought you needed to use the restroom?” Chase asks bringing my attention back to him. He’s wearing an irritating smirk, and I narrow my eyes at him, forcing myself to get up and follow him.

  Prick.

  I try to keep my distance from him on the walk to the restrooms and not bother giving him the time of day. Don’t let him know that you’re affected by him. Too late for that, my subconscious chides in. The VIP floor has their own restrooms, so thankfully we don’t have to fight our way through the throngs of people down below. Chase places his hand on my lower back and I nearly burn up from the light touch. I try to walk faster so his hand won’t touch me, but it’s useless. He knows my game. He presses his hand against my lower back more firmly and I bristle.

  “How are you?” He says from beside me as a conversation starter. His deep voice sends a shiver down my spine and I know he can feel what he’s doing to me.

  “Peachy. Just peachy.” The sarcasm drips from my voice. His hand flexes against my back and I take a controlling deep breath.

  “Really?” He asks skeptically. “You look a little upset tonight.”

  I wonder why, asshole.

  I glare back at him over my shoulder.

/>   “Not my scene.” Irritation laces my voice. Chase unsuccessfully tries to hide his smile and all it does is fuel my irritation with him.

  “What is your scene then?” That irresistible crease in his cheek forms as he smiles, waiting for my answer.

  “Definitely not here.” I bite back. “You can get your hand off me now, and go back to your girlfriend. Or girlfriends I should say.” I whip around and quicken my stride trying to get away from him.

  Damn these heels!

  I still feel his body heat close behind me so I know I haven’t gotten far. When the warmth of his hand slides against my back again I nearly crumple onto the floor in a heap. Even when he pisses me off, my body still reacts to him. He dips his head low, lips to my ear.

  “I don’t have a girlfriend, Aliza. I’ve told you that before. I came here alone, and I have no intention of leaving with either of them,” he says firmly in my ear, and a shiver travels through my body. Sucking in a deep breath I shake off his words, squaring my shoulders and get my back up.

  “I’ll wait right out here for you, they’re just up ahead,” he says as he backs out of my personal space, dropping his hand. He gestures to the restrooms no more than a few feet before me, and I quicken my stride. I give him a snarky smile and hurry inside into one of the stalls to do my business. After finishing, I make quick work of washing my hands, and stare at myself in the mirror, assessing my reflection. My hair and makeup still look good, and my dress hugs what little curves I do have. But after Erin’s degrading comment in the booth, I don’t feel as pretty as I did when this night started. Giving myself a small pep talk before deciding to go back out there, I remind myself to be strong.

  “Just be cool, Aliza.” I stare back at myself in the mirror thankful no one else is around. “He’s your boss. Your really hot boss, but your boss nonetheless. You can’t have him. Focus, Aliza, focus,” I say aloud to myself sternly before heading back out to face my newest problem and addiction.

  Chase is leaning casually against the opposite wall with his hands in the pockets of his slacks. He’s so effortlessly handsome. I want to be a complete bitch to him for the rest of the night, but looking at him right now, I just can’t find the strength to do it.

  How the hell can I be pissed at someone who looks like him?

  I’m not entirely sure why I’m upset anyway. It’s not like we’re seeing each other or anything.

  Plus, the blondes would have to be blind not to want any attention from him. I don’t date, and he’s my boss, it will never happen. My heart beat kicks up a few speeds as I get closer and he catches my gaze. I stop a few feet away so his smell doesn’t invade my already screwed up senses. I shift awkwardly on these painful heels as we just stand in silence staring at one another. The way he stares at me makes me lose my breath, freaking me out, and gives me butterflies all at the same time. No one has ever looked at me the way he is. Like I’m the only one he’s seeing. His eyes travel up and down along my body and I feel my face heat in embarrassment. The flush spreads across my chest, up my neck and to my cheeks.

  “You look really beautiful tonight.”

  His voice is thick like more words are stuck in his throat. He reaches his hand out gently tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I swallow thickly, not wanting to ruin this moment. He inches closer to me and our bodies are now mere inches apart. No more distance. His cologne clogs my senses making me feel feather light. I can feel the heat that’s rolling off him in waves and in turn it makes me unbearably hot. He softly traces the edge of my jaw and the rest of my face with the tips of his fingers, causing my heart to stutter in my chest and my stomach to flip. My breaths turn into pants and my heart is trying to pound straight out of my chest. His blue eyes penetrate every nerve ending, sending my body into overdrive. It’s almost like he’s staring into me.

  The pad of his thumb lightly grazes my bottom lip, slowly and enticingly. My eyelids flutter closed on a gasp and I hold my breath. I can smell his minty breath before I feel his lips lightly graze mine. The touch is feather soft, and I’m almost convinced I imagined it. If it wasn’t for my legs nearly giving out from the small contact of his mouth lightly touching mine, I wouldn’t have believed it. My lips tingle from the soft graze and I find myself wanting more–needing more.

  “Hey there you guys are, I wa—”

  My eyes snap open at the sound of Natalia’s voice, effectively ruining the moment. I quickly back away from Chase whose expression is now blank; devoid of any emotion. I look into my friends shocked expressions. Natalia’s standing with her mouth slightly opened and Sam isn’t far behind her looking equally baffled. Sam thankfully saves the awkwardness of the moment.

  “So, who’s ready for more drinks?”

  I hurriedly walk past Chase toward Natalia and Sam hoping to flee the stifling atmosphere. I grip Sam’s hand and urge her to start walking; she catches on quickly leading the way. When we’re far enough away I breathe a sigh of relief but don’t feel relieved. Not one bit.

  “So, you and CJ, huh?” Sam says with devilish smirk. “Naughty little Ohio. Banging the boss. I knew you had it in you!” She laughs.

  I glare at her and Natalia.

  “Shut up.”

  They both throw their hands up in surrender.

  To avoid any further embarrassment and awkwardness the three of us decided it was time to leave. Well, actually, I begged them to let me go home so they agreed to call it a night as well. The entire ride back home I couldn’t get Chase out of my head. His soft caress, the feel of his lips against mine, the warm whisper of his breath across my lips; my mouth is still tingling from the light touch.

  I’m officially screwed.

  But what really bothered me the most was the fact that I left him there with Erin. Who knows what would happen between them when I’m gone. That thought alone tightens my chest, and sends bitter bile creeping up my throat.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “Anything interesting happen on your night out?” Arthur asks taking a sip of his coffee. I groan aloud in my seat.

  “Nothing I want to talk about,” I mumble before shoving a cookie in my mouth. Arthur chuckles and I don’t hide my annoyance at his laughter. I shoot daggers at him from my spot on the couch.

  “Ahhh, so something did happen.” His brows shoot up in surprise.

  “You know what Arthur? You’re worse than old ladies that gossip with each other over brunch or something.”

  It’s Arthurs turn to shoot me a glare and mumble under his breath. I can’t help but laugh.

  My mind wanders to what lies ahead tomorrow at work. After last night with Chase at the club, I haven’t heard from him. Not that I would anyway. I don’t have his number, but still, a girl can dream. After our light grazing kiss; Natalia, Sam and I left the club in a flurry to avoid any awkwardness. Did he go home with one of the blondes?

  I must shut those thoughts down before my anger gets out of control; I have no right to be angry with him.

  “What’s on your mind?” Arthur asks with a sigh. Damn, he knows me so well. I frown; going over in my head how to proceed. Where do I even begin?

  “I made a huge mistake last night.”

  I peek at him nervously, and he just stares at me waiting for me to go on. I blow out a deep breath and blurt out everything.

  “Last night I kissed Chase, well CJ, the owner of the bar and grille. Or maybe he kissed me? I don’t know who kissed who but it happened and now I’m totally freaking out. It happened so fast, I was so angry watching him with those girls, especially Erin,” I groan after her name falls from my lips. “Then he took me to the restrooms, and it all went downhill from there.” I know I’m rambling but I can’t stop myself. I place my coffee mug down and hop off my seat on the couch to pace across the carpet.

  “God, she’s such a bitch. What does he even see in her besides her great body and boobs?” I turn to Arthur expectantly and he rightfully shakes his head and shrugs like he doesn’t have a clue.

 
Smart man.

  I continue with my rambling, needing to purge all my thoughts from my head.

  “Every time I’m around him, Arthur, there’s just this pull there between us,” I say with my hands moving everywhere trying to make sense of my emotions. “I can’t fight it. It’s like I’m drawn to him or something. And the way he stares at me, geeez, the way he stares at me is so intense. It scares me and excites me all at once. I can feel it right down to my soul.” I place my hand over my chest. “I’ve never had that before…but I know I want it,” I admit quietly.

  Arthur looks thoughtful for a second before a slow secretive smile forms on his face.

  Why is he always smiling like he knows something I don’t? It’s infuriating.

  “What on earth could you be smiling about right now, Arthur?” I place firm hands on my hips and tap my foot on the carpet like an expectant school teacher.

  “And why can’t you pursue this thing between you guys?”

  He ignores my whole question and I refrain from throttling him; because, old people.

  Instead I look at him moronically like he should already know the answer to this.

  “Uh, hello? He’s my boss, Arthur!” I yell like a crazy woman while burning a hole through the rug from my pacing.

  “I can’t date the boss, that’s just, that’s just…weird. And wrong! So, so wrong. Not to mention stupid on my part.” I point at myself for emphasis. “What if something goes wrong and he decides to fire me or something? I’ve made new friends there, and I am not willing to give that up. Nope. Not for anyone. Not even him,” I ramble, coming up with any excuse possible to stay away from him.