The Darkest Hour: A San Diegan Novel

by S. M. Soto

  Like that will ever work.

  Arthur tips his head back and holds his stomach in a gut belly laugh. I stop my pacing and frown.

  “What the hell is so funny?” I arch my brow with my hands to my sides waiting for him to share the humor he finds in this.

  “You know that pull you’re describing between the two of you? I felt it with my Patty. That’s how I knew she was the one. It means you two are soul mates,” he says smugly.

  I scrub my hands down my face and groan. This is not good. Not good at all.

  “Okay, this conversation is officially over,” I say firmly.

  I take a seat back in my chair and down my coffee in one huge gulp.

  “Just give him a chance,” Arthur says enticingly. There’s hope and something else in his eyes. My heart wants to say yes, but my brain is pumping the breaks and screaming no way in hell. I eventually go with my brain.

  “Nope. Not happening. This topic is closed. Forever.” I say pointing a stern finger in his direction.

  Mr. Walker surprisingly backs off and we’re able to finish off the cookies in silence. After he leaves, I’m left alone with my thoughts of Chase and the new feelings of betrayal washing over me.

  How can I even think about moving on with someone?

  My family wouldn’t be here to witness my happiness or meet him. So, what’s the point? I don’t want to replace them with him. I don’t want to lose any more memories due to my selfish happiness.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  I hurry into work trying like hell not to be late. I woke up later than usual this morning and completely lost track of the time. This weekend has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions for me. I just hope I can make it through the rest of the work day unscathed.

  Hurriedly walking through the bar and grille, I head straight for the employee lounge. In record speed, my personal items are stowed away and I’m ready to get this day started by taking some orders. Looking up at the clock I’m relieved that the bar and grille won’t be opening for a few minutes, so I still have time to spare. I spot Natalia and Sam near the bar and swiftly head that way.

  After our girl’s night, I feel like we’ve bonded in a new way and have become closer. They may not know everything about me yet, but maybe one day I’ll be able to tell someone.

  “Well, well, well. Look who it is,” Sam says with a shit eating grin. Oh no, I know what’s coming next. Before Sam can get another word out I scold her and Natalia.

  “Not a word. Not today, not ever. Got it?”

  I place my hands on my hips sternly and stare between them expectantly. Sam and Natalia roll their eyes and nod their heads solemnly. Instead of picking on me Sam decides to poke fun at Natalia.

  “So, guess who stopped by our place this morning while you were in class, Nat,” Sam says with a smug grin. Natalia just shrugs her shoulders and rolls her eyes.

  “Who, Samantha?” She says with zero interest.

  “Your star quarterback boyfriend, that’s who.”

  Natalia’s eyes widen in shock then narrow slightly.

  “He’s not my boyfriend, so shut it already Sam.”

  “Quarterback huh?” I say with a smile glad to have the heat off me. Sam cackles with laughter.

  “Shut up. Both of you,” Natalia hisses before stomping off to get away from us.

  “So, who is he anyway?” I ask, now mildly interested in someone else’s drama.

  “Remember the hot guy that came in with a few of his friends a couple of weeks ago? Tall, tan, and built like a damn god.”

  “Light brown hair with the dimples?” I ask, trying to remember the last hot guy that came in.

  “Bingo!” Sam shouts pointing her hands at me like fake guns.

  “They totally want to bang each other,” she says with a sigh, “but Nat will never do it because Luke used to bang her bitch of a sister.”

  I raise my brows in confusion. What?

  “The Anti-Christ!” I cry out. “What, is he insane?”

  Sam nods her head and purses her lips. “Long story,” she says with a wave of her hand.

  “Cut the chit chat and get to work ladies.” Alex scolds from beside Sam and me. She rolls her eyes and mumbles something unintelligible under her breath. I get the impression they’re fighting again.

  The rest of the afternoon I’m busy taking orders and trying to keep my mind off Chase. It doesn’t go over very well.

  “He’s irresistible huh?” Natalia asks with a knowing smirk. I continue wiping off the table before me and pretend I don’t know who she’s referring to.

  “Who is?” I ask nonchalantly. She rolls her eyes at me and slaps my arm lightly.

  “CJ!” She exclaims giggling. “Or Chase I should say,” she waggles her brows playfully. “I still can’t believe he actually lets you call him Chase,” she says in disbelief.

  “Sam went to highschool with him, he was older of course, but do you know that everyone his whole life has always called him CJ, including his parents. It’s just surprising he lets you call him by his real name.”

  I’m a little out of breath because of Natalia’s confession. Why am I the only one who calls him Chase? Also, hearing that someone else thinks Chase is irresistible bothers me way more than it should. Especially since that said person is my sweet and innocent friend Natalia.

  Lord, help me.

  “I mean, yeah, he’s good looking. But irresistible is a bit extreme Natalia.” I feign indifference, while my subconscious is screaming, Liar!

  “And it’s seriously not that big of a deal. I’m sure other people call him Chase. I just prefer calling him by that name instead of CJ.” I shrug casually brushing off the seriousness of my feelings.

  “Uh-huh,” Natalia says with disbelief written all over her face.

  “Speaking of the devil, he’s coming this way and he’s headed for you, babe,” Natalia whispers excitedly in my ear.

  Holy shit.

  It feels like someone’s playing the steel drums in my stomach. Natalia swiftly grabs her cleaning towel and scurries away leaving me alone with Chase and his ever-demanding presence. I continue wiping the now clean table repeatedly, just giving myself an excuse to look busy. I smell him before I even have a chance to see him. His scent is quickly becoming my favorite. It’s fresh, yet spicy and all male. His aftershave maybe? Whatever it is, it smells fan-fucking-tastic.

  “Aliza, how are you today?” Chase asks while stepping into my view and clouding my thoughts. I immediately stop wiping and find myself staring into a pair of the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. Dropping the rag, I nervously wipe my hands on my pants and clear my throat.

  “I’m good. Good,” I say meekly. It’s all I can come up with. There’s a few seconds of shared awkward silence between us before his name is called and we snap out of it. He looks toward the back and sighs before looking back at me.

  “Right, well I was just checking on you. Take care, Aliza.” He offers a chin lift before heading toward the back and up the stairs. I close my eyes tightly leaning my head back and groan.

  “That was seriously the most awkward conversation I’ve ever watched,” Sam says in a bored tone. “There’s definitely something going on between you two. Don’t even say it’s not,” she says from behind me. “You can try to ignore and deny it all you want, Ohio, but that doesn’t mean we all can’t see it.” I turn around shooting her a glare. She raises her hands in surrender and then pretends to study her nails.

  “You know,” she says leaning against the table and crossing her legs casually “The sexual tension around the two of you is seriously off the charts. Why not just bang him?” Sam says unapologetically.

  “Sam!”

  Natalia and I yell in unison. I whirl around glaring at Natalia as well.

  “Where the hell did you come from? You’re like a ninja!” I hiss.

  Sam and Natalia laugh giving each other a knowing look.

  “Oh, c’mon, Aliza! Like I was really going to walk away complet
ely and not listen in on the conversation,” Natalia says exasperated. “And can I just say that I partly agree with Sam. You guys definitely have some undeniable chemistry and sexual tension going on.” Sam starts I told you so-ing but is quickly cut off.

  “But,” Natalia emphasizes narrowing her gaze at Sam “she should definitely not sleep with him. He’s her freaking boss how stupid would that be!” She nearly yells. I slap my hand over her mouth and glanced around frantically making sure no one heard her big mouth. She eyes me apologetically and mumbles something beneath my hand. I remove my hand from her mouth to let her speak.

  “Don’t get sucked in by the charm, Aliza. Yeah, he’s good looking but is it worth losing a job over?” Natalia says as the voice of reason. I raise my hands in the air and let them fall to my sides helplessly.

  “Exactly! Thank you, Natalia.” She smiles and looks at Sam victoriously who is rolling her eyes at us.

  “So you’re telling me there’s nothing going on with you two after that kiss at the club?” Sam asks with a raised brow. I swallow hard and shift from foot to foot. Do we have something going on? With him saving my life, then the kiss, or the peck, or whatever you want to call it – I don’t know what the hell to think.

  “No. Yes. No. I don’t know,” I sigh. “Plus, it wasn’t even a kiss, more like a peck.” I look up sheepishly into my friend’s eyes and they both look down at me like I’m a fool.

  “Look Aliza, I can tell Chase is interested in you just by the way he looks at you. But I’m not saying you should go for it. He’s a...he’s a...” Natalia trails off looking stricken. Sam groans loudly.

  “Oh, just say it Natalia, stop being such a prude!” Sam looks back at me point blank. “He’s a whore, Aliza. That man fucks whoever he wants and whenever he wants. Can you blame him though? I can tell you from first-hand experience he doesn’t sleep with employees. I’ve tried,” Sam says unbothered. She must notice my hurt expression because Natalia cuts in quickly.

  “What she means is, we just don’t want to see you get hurt is all, Aliza. You’re not the girl he normally...sees.” Natalia peeks at Sam for help. Sam rolls her eyes.

  “No, she means fuck. He doesn’t normally fuck the clingy type. He likes his women to put out when he wants and to get the hell out when he says. Got me?” I nod my head slowly with wide eyes. If someone three months ago would’ve told me I was jealous over a man I would have laughed, but not today. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

  “Okay guys, quick confession to make,” I say wincing.

  “What?” They both ask warily.

  “So, I might have met Chase before actually working here.” I say quietly. “But I honestly didn’t know he owned this place when I came looking for a job,” I say quickly. “I mean, what are the odds, right?” Natalia and Sam tilt their heads looking confused.

  “Not following, Ohio. Elaborate,” Sam says snapping her fingers impatiently.

  “Well, long story short, Chase kind of saved my life.”

  They’re both silent, waiting for me to go on. I know it’s now or never, so I decide to tell them everything. Well not everything completely.

  “You guys know I used to live in Pennsylvania, but what you don’t know is why I moved here in the first place,” I say trying to hold down my emotions that are fighting to come to the surface.

  “Three years ago, my family died in a car accident. It was dark out, and the roads were slick with ice from the snow...” I trail off vividly picturing what the weather looked like the night that they died. My heart constricts painfully and my chest tightens, making it nearly impossible to breathe. I shake my head, pushing the thoughts aside and clear my throat. “I had a hard time processing what happened. It was like one day, I had the support of my entire family, and then the next–they were gone. My Aunt and her husband tried to be there for me as best as they could, but it was no use.” I shrug with the weight of the pain on my chest like a boulder. “After getting fired from my job back home, I decided I needed an escape.” I lift my eyes up to glance at them. Sam and Natalia look on the verge of tears. Quickly looking away I go on before losing it.

  “The first day here I was fine, but then, I don’t know what happened. The nightmares started up again, and I just felt completely helpless. After having a few drinks, I found myself at the beach. I don’t even know how I got there.”

  “Aliza,” Natalia says with sympathy laced in her voice.

  “I kept hearing Rosie’s laugh.” I focus on the view of the ocean outside the restaurant windows, unable to handle the pity of my friends. Flashes of the gloomy sky and dark water from that day fill my mind. I bite the inside of my cheek to fight off the tears. “It just wouldn’t go away. I jumped in the ocean to block it all out.”

  Staring out of the windows, I relive what it was like jumping in–the ice-cold water shocking my system upon impact. The barest sensation of prickling needles travels down my spine, over my arms and legs, like I’m in the water all over again. My whole body shivers.

  “I was fine at first, but the waves were so strong, they kept crashing down over me every time I tried to resurface.” I place my hand lightly to my throat remembering the burning sensation I felt. The suffocating feeling, like the ocean water had me by the throat, stopping all air from coming in or out. “Then it started raining, and I couldn’t see much. I tried over and over to swim to the top, but I just couldn’t. The only things I remember after that were seeing nothing but pitch black, and waking up in a strange man’s arms…who turned out to be Chase.” I decide not to tell them about my little dream or hallucination of seeing my family. I just want them to understand, not question my mental health.

  “So, you’re saying that CJ actually jumped in that water after you to save your life?” Sam asks with raised brows. I nod my head and swallow the large lump in my throat at the memory. Bright blue eyes, which looked like bright beacons when I first came to, are ingrained in my memory. They play on a loop in my dreams, and are the object of my fantasies during the day.

  “Wow. That’s…that’s...” She struggles to find the right words. “That’s like some shit out of a movie or something. Don’t get me wrong, completely fucked up, but also kinda sweet. If you’re in to that sweet shit, I mean. And after everything he’s been through I just can’t believe it. You must have magical pussy or something kid. Dudes can sniff that shit out.”

  “Sam!” Natalia screeches in horror, and Sam just shrugs like she doesn’t see the big deal. I don’t have time to reprimand Sam; I’m too busy reeling over what she just said. My brows pinch together in confusion and I frown.

  “What do you mean? What has he been through?” I ask curiously.

  Sam sighs, her face falling a bit, and then she makes a show of looking around quickly before turning back to us. “I’ve known CJ for a decent amount of time, he was older, yeah, but I knew of him because we always hung around the same crowd, and let’s just say he hasn’t had it easy. It’s not my story to tell, so I won’t. Plus, I’m not even sure it’s true, you know how people like to gossip and shit,” that’s all she says before turning away strutting off to work.

  “You can’t just say something like that and walk off, Samantha!” Natalia shouts after her retreating form.

  The second half of my shift I find myself trying to guess what Chase’s life could’ve been like. Not worse than mine, right?

  God, I hope not.

  Alex is taking over the bar tonight since Sam left work early, so that means there’s one less person here to help me with the night shift. Before tonight, I’ve never really had any reason to talk to Alex. He’s either MIA or by Chase’s side. There’s no in between. I sidle up to the bar waiting for him to finish making my order of drinks.

  “So,” I say awkwardly, ringing my hands together over the bar, “how long have you known Chase?” I try to keep my tone indifferent—casual even. Alex freezes with a bottle of liquor in midair and makes a point to stare at me for a few tense seconds. A small smi
rk lifts at the corners of his mouth and he shakes his head mumbling something under his breath before answering me.

  “I’ve known CJ most of my life, which is too fucking long if we’re being honest. He’s not even a friend anymore; he’s more like an annoying brother. I’m sure he’d say something similar.” He chuckles and I can’t help but smile. I guess they really are partners in crime, much like Natalia said.

  “You know you’re not as slick as you think you are,” he says with a smile on his face as he finishes making drinks. My brows pull down in confusion.

  “What do you mean?”

  He slides the drinks over the bar and chuckles lightly. “I see the way you look at him. It’s not hard to miss.”

  My mouth falls open and my brain short-circuits. I struggle to find something to say—to deny his claim, but words fail me. He drums his hands on the bar, and gestures toward the drinks.

  “Might want to put some pep in your step, Sunshine, the crowds getting kind of wild.” Alex grins broadly then makes a show of winking at me. I slowly gather myself, taking the drinks with me, a frown on my face.

  ***

  Sometimes the night crowd at the bar and grille can be a little rowdy and handsy. Tonight, is no exception. I’m delivering a round of shots to a table of guys who are exceedingly loud and belligerent. One of the men grips my hips tightly and yanks me onto his lap. It’s unexpected, knocking the wind right out of me. I yelp in surprise and land roughly against him.

  “Mmmm, you smell so good. What do you say we get out of here and back to my place?” His hot breath blows against my ear with his drunken slur. He reeks of hard liquor and I’m instantly repulsed by the bulge I can feel growing in his pants beneath me. The hairs at the back of my neck stand at attention, and my spine stiffens. I laugh nervously and clear my throat all the while trying to escape from his hold, doing my best to wiggle my way out of his lap. I look around for help from my co-workers but don’t see anyone in my section.

  Shit!

  I can hear my pulse beating in my ears, muting all the sounds around me, except for my ragged irregular breaths. The man grips my wrist with so much force I whimper in response.