The Darkest Hour: A San Diegan Novel

by S. M. Soto

  “Moaning for me already, baby?” He laughs with mirth and licks his dry, chapped lips, tugging me closer to him. His hot breath skirts across my face and my stomach churns violently. With all my force, I yank my wrist trying to free myself, anything to get away from him. The attempt is futile. My wrist sears in pain, at his hold, but it doesn’t budge.

  “Let go. You’re hurting me,” I say as calmly as I can, not wanting him to know how freaked out I really am. My heart is pounding in my chest, despite the sweat beaded on my forehead, a chill still travels through my body. He digs his nails into my wrist and yanks me toward him again extracting a loud and piercing shriek from me. Pain like never before, erupts from the bite of his nails digging into my skin and the pressure he’s applying around it. I whimper in pain, my eyes stinging with tears from the assault.

  Within a blink of an eye the man is tugged away and my wrist is set free. Everything happens so fast. One moment I’m on his lap and the next I’m being flung to the floor. Shouting and the sound of shattering glass echoes around me; I barely have time to process that I’m falling, let alone throw my arms out to break the fall. My body collides against the floor with a hard thud, and pain shoots throughout my elbow and hip.

  I lift my eyes up, completely stunned by the mess on the floor and the brawl taking place. Legs and arms flail as Chase, Alex, and the bus boys work to escort the rowdy men out. There’s broken glass and alcohol puddled all over the floor. The man who held me down on his lap must say something to Chase because a furious expression ripples across his face. Chase grips him by his shirt, curling his fists into the material. Alex tugs on Chase’s shoulder to get his attention, and whispers something in his ear that coerces him to shove the man away, letting go.

  Alex says something else to Chase, pointing in my direction. My pulse lodges itself into my throat—at least that’s what it feels like. Chase shifts his gaze to me, and anger permeates from him. He grinds his jaw back and forth, and then with a sharp nod of his head, he strides across the room toward me. My heart thumps loudly in my ears and I swallow the lump forming in my throat. I look up into the hard face of Chase as he pauses before me. I’ve never seen him look so angry. He’s furious–frighteningly so. Thick jaw, tight corded muscles tensed, his brows drawn together in anger, and those piercing blue eyes that make you want to shrivel into a ball and hide. If looks could kill, everyone in here would drop dead. The storm swirling in his blue eyes softens a bit as we stare at one another.

  “You alright?”

  He looks me over with concern etched on his face. I swallow thickly, still trying to process everything that just happened. After a slow nod of my head, he offers to help me up to my feet and grips my wrist. I gasp and force myself not to scream. Hot, blazing pain shoots across my arm, resonating deep in the bone making tears well in my eyes. Chase immediately let’s go and looks down at my red inflamed wrist. His nostrils flare as he lifts my arm delicately to examine it more closely. You can clearly see the outline of thick fingers, from the man’s tight grip. To top it off, four crescents are embedded into my broken skin from his nails digging into me.

  “We’re going to my office.” He leaves no room from discussion, and helps me to my feet by my other arm before leading the way.

  He did a thorough examination of my wrist in his office. His large body hovered over mine as he cleaned the small cuts, rubbing salve on them. His close proximity did embarrassing things to my body. The pounding of my heart felt so loud, I swear he could hear it. My breaths were ragged, and each inhale of his scent made me go cross eyed. Even with how traumatizing this night was, my body still reacts to him viscerally. The need to be close to him is a necessity, like taking my next breath.

  I use this small window of time to admire his profile up close. He has wayward blonde hair that’s darkest at the roots, falling into his eyes. His brows are a slight shade darker than his hair, and golden stubble dusts his jaw and chin. The small cleft in his chin is barely noticeable, if I wasn’t this close there’s no way I would’ve noticed it. His full lips call to me, and my own part in anticipation. The urge to run my fingers over his face is one I have to continually tamp down. My eyes linger on his lips for a moment too long, before I force myself to look away. My eyes trail up his face taking my time along the trek, freezing on his blue eyes that are staring right back at me, catching me in my blatant staring.

  My face heats, incredibly so. The strange mixture of color in his eyes isn’t noticeable unless you’re mere inches away, like I am now. The deep ocean blue is stark, the focal point, and bright like the sun. An almost pale aquamarine is in the center, bleeding into a darker blue around the edges. A rogue little circle of gold firmly wraps around his iris. The colors blended together are beautiful, and unique; everything that is Chase Roland.

  “Do you want me to wrap it?” His voice is thick, and husky. Or maybe I’m just imagining his voice that way. I look down at my inflamed wrist, breaking our connection. I should probably let him wrap it so it doesn’t swell, but I’m not sure if I can handle another second this close to him. I might do something stupid. Instead I brush him off.

  “Chase, it’s all good. Really, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it; it’s just a little tender right now that’s all.” I try to reassure him and myself for that matter. He looks unsure at first, like he wants to argue and say more, but then obliges with a slight nod of his head and a defeated sigh.

  “You can leave early if you need to. I won’t make you stay the rest of your shift after you dealt with that.”

  I shake my head looking at him like he’s crazy.

  “Absolutely not, we’re already short staffed tonight as it is, there’s no way I’m leaving just because of that. I’m fine I promise.”

  He’s quiet for a few seconds as he searches my face contemplating what to do. He blows out a deep frustrated breath and looks me over briefly.

  “You’re sure?” He asks warily.

  I laugh with a nod of my head. “Thank you, though.”

  I smile trying to ease some of the worry etched on his face. We gaze at each other silently for a brief moment before I eventually wave and leave his office putting some much needed distance between us.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  It’s a little after eleven when my shift is over. Being that it’s Tuesday, Natalia left work early for class and Sam left early due to an ‘emergency’, leaving me without a ride. Because paying for a cab or an Uber was becoming so expensive, Natalia or Sam would usually give me rides to and from work.

  I look through my purse for some cash so I can call a cab instead of having to walk but I can’t find my wallet anywhere. I frantically shift everything around in my purse looking in every corner and crevice. Oh no, no, no.

  Where’s my wallet?

  I flip my bag upside down, not even caring that I’m still in the hallway of the bar and grille. The car ride is usually fifteen minutes, but walking is a whole other story. I drop to my knees searching through my purse items that are strewn across the floor, not even focusing on my missing wallet anymore, I’m now just hoping I’ll find some money hidden somewhere in here.

  “Aliza?”

  Chase’s confused voice echoes around me and I jump at being caught off guard. I look up at him standing a few feet away. My eyes rake up and down his toned body and I can’t stop my eyes from traveling everywhere across his face. It’s then I realize I’m still on my knees as he’s standing looking down on me. Oh God. This looks so bad. I quickly shuffle to my feet and wince in embarrassment.

  “Sorry, I was looking for something,” I say feeling majorly flustered. I gesture to the mess on the floor before me and heat rises to my face. He tilts his head to the side thoughtfully before closing the distance between us.

  Without a word, he squats low and helps gather my things placing them gently into my purse. Once everything is safely inside, he stands at his full height, towering over me. He holds my purse out for me and I grab it quickly, accidently bumping h
is hand in the process. That small touch unleashes the millions of butterflies that have recently taken shelter in my stomach. I know I shouldn’t but I find myself looking into those deep blues, and I’m completely lost. I search for the newly discovered colors in his eyes and sigh blissfully, when I see them. His eyes are always so expressive and intense, so many emotions project through them.

  God, I’m a sucker for his eyes.

  His tongue slowly slides out, wetting his full bottom lip and my body starts overheating. I don’t know what makes me ask this but I do it anyway.

  “Can you give me a ride home?”

  His eyebrows shoot up. I’ve rendered him completely speechless. He stands there deliberating what to do. I hold my breath and wait for him to say something. Anything.

  “Yeah, I was getting ready to head out in a few anyway.” He reassures me and I don’t feel so stupid now. “I have to close up a few things in my office and make one call, and then we can leave,” he says as he gestures for me to follow him upstairs to his office. My nerves are eating away at me, the closer we get to his office. Breathe in, and out, Aliza.

  Chase moves past me so I can walk into his office before sitting down at his desk. Leaning my back against the chair, I sit quietly across from him trying to focus on anything but him. It’s not an easy task. Every so often I’ll discreetly peek at him out of the corner of my eye. I shift uncomfortably in my seat at the silence surrounding us and pretend to look around his office before peeking at him again. My breath freezes and my eyes widen when my sly gaze meets his. He’s staring right back at me expectantly, like he knew it was coming. I guess my secretive glances weren’t so secretive after all. I can’t even attempt to look away and pretend I wasn’t just caught red handed. Chases lip twitches, turning into that lopsided grin I love so much.

  “Is there something you wanted to say, Aliza?” He asks knowingly with a playful grin. All the heat from my body rises to my face, stifling the air around me. He looks so hot when he’s smug.

  Damn him.

  I sink further into my seat and my face continues to turn beet red.

  “Come on.” He stands from his desk and heads toward the door, I gather my purse and send a silent thank you to the god’s for sparing me from further embarrassment.

  Following behind Chase, trying to keep up with his long strides is a task in itself. He abruptly stops then turns and I slam right into his rock-solid chest. The impact knocks all the air out of me eliciting an oomph on contact. His hands grip my upper arms to steady me and my hands are flat against his muscular chest.

  Holy crap.

  “I forgot my phone,” he says in a gravelly voice.

  My eyes zone in on his plump lips and I dart my tongue out subconsciously wetting my own. His eyes flare with blazing heat, following the movement and scorching me from head to toe. His jaw grinds back and forth as he stares down at me. Unfamiliar emotions flash behind his eyes, I can’t pin it down to one. The intensity of his blue eyes is electrifying. I don’t give him the opportunity to make a choice, because I make it for him. I summon the brazen courage I didn’t know I possessed and rise onto my tiptoes softly placing my mouth over his. His lips are soft and firm beneath mine causing me to shiver in delight. He tastes of spearmint and something sweet. I tentatively slide my hand around his neck and pull his mouth down firmly over mine. He doesn’t even seem stunned by the bold move, he just follows right in step, taking over, deepening the kiss. I snake my other arm around his neck while his arms slide around my waist, firmly pressing our bodies together tightly. Tingles blossom through my stomach and down to the sensitive area between my legs.

  Our mouths glide over each other’s heatedly, devouring everything we can from each other. His tongue gently makes an appearance seeking permission to enter. I tilt my head back and open, granting him access. His tongue slides across my own, exploring and teasing me. I moan into his mouth and grip his neck tighter, trying to bring him closer to me. The kiss is incredible; it’s beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. My body doesn’t feel like my own in this moment. I’m weightless, almost floating. He nips at my bottom lip and his hands travel along my back down to my butt. I gasp into his mouth when he squeezes a handful.

  Just as quickly as our kiss got started it ends just as fast. Chase pulls away quickly, breathing deeply. He looks torn – eyes wild, and hair tousled. My lips feel swollen and used after that kiss. I uselessly try to gather my wits as I slowly watch Chase pulling farther and farther away from the heat of the moment. Without another word, he pulls completely away, physically and mentally, effectively ruining the moment. He turns his back to me and walks to his desk grabbing his phone.

  “Ready?” He asks absently, not bothering to look at me. It feels as if someone just slapped me across the face. The pit in my stomach grows larger with each passing second and the stabbing sensation in my heart increases. I feel like a complete idiot for kissing him like that.

  I protectively wrap my arms around myself and just nod. He doesn’t look at me again as he leads me out of his office to his car. The walk to his Range Rover is silent, and I’m almost tempted to run home just to avoid this situation. Just as expected, the ride home is silent…and awkward. When Chase pulls up outside my condo he puts his car in park and shifts to me slightly.

  “Aliza. I...” He blows out a gruff breath seemingly unsure of how to proceed. Pain slices through my chest from the rejection. The embarrassment makes my eyes water and my throat burn.

  “It’s fine, Chase. Really.” I cut him off dejectedly. When he meets my eyes, he looks…tortured. I smile as best as I can to hide the tremble of my mouth. Before he can try to say anything else I get out of the car as quick as I possibly can and hurriedly walk inside. My body sags against the closed door and I slide down slowly cradling my head in my hands helplessly. My chest is tight, with a searing pain in the center. It hurts to breathe.

  With the burning need to talk to someone about what happened, I pry myself off the floor and swing my front door open. I go to the one person I know won’t judge me. I find myself walking up the steps to Mr. Walker’s house. I startle, my hand flying to my chest when I reach the top step and see Mr. Walker sitting in his rocking chair in a comfortable position with his ankle rested on top of his knee. I screech and jump back in surprise.

  “Jesus!” I run my shaky hand through my hair trying to steady my racing heart.

  “Not quite,” Mr. Walker chuckles. I roll my eyes and take a seat on the step twisting my body to face him. I let out a deep sigh and close my eyes leaning my head on the beam behind me. I faintly hear Mr. Walker shift in his chair before letting out a breath.

  “What’s wrong, angel face?”

  I toss my hand up and let it fall back in my lap helplessly.

  “What isn’t wrong? I feel like a complete idiot.” I scrub my hands down my face and massage my temples.

  “Care to explain?”

  How? We connected then he completely detached.

  “I kissed Chase. Again. Well, it was a mutual kiss and it was amazing, Arthur. I’ve never felt that way before, just from a kiss. But he totally freaked out on me as soon as it was over. He looked so torn. I could tell he was feeling what I was, or at least I think that’s what he was feeling. God,” I groan loudly covering my face with my hands. “I don’t even know what to think anymore. He’s so confusing. The whole ride home was so damn awkward.”

  At the expense of looking like a complete loser in front of an old man I wait for him to say something-anything–helpful. Mr. Walker sits quietly for a few minutes contemplating how to proceed. He probably doesn’t give two shits about my situation, but I just need someone to talk to right now, and Arthur is my safe place.

  “Do you remember what you said to me a few days ago, angel face? You said you wouldn’t get involved because he was your boss and because you weren’t sure you were ready.” He lifts his brow waiting for me to acknowledge what I said. I roll my eyes and wait for him to get to his point.
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  “You took a chance, and it backfired. It happens. But how do you know he doesn’t feel the same way as you? He must be smart about this, Aliza, he runs a business, if it doesn’t work out that’s a whole new set of problems for him. That man has been through hell, he has only himself, just like you.” I bite my lip so I can keep quiet.

  “You can either sit here moping ‘round wondering why he acted the way he did, or you find out for yourself. I didn’t tell you about that job for no reason, ya hear me? I told you because I know that young man is as lost as you are sweetheart.”

  With my back against the stone pillar I sit quietly as I decipher everything Mr. Walker has said. He may be right, but still, there’s no excuse for him leading me on and pulling away. If he didn’t want to kiss me he should’ve just put an end to it. And if he didn’t like me why would he flirt with me, or say he thinks I’m attractive? Giving me all those stupidly gorgeous smiles, it doesn’t make sense.

  I may not know his whole story but I have my own issues I’m working through too. I can’t be swept up in his whirlwind. I push to my feet with a grunt.

  “I hear you.” I decide not to tell Arthur I only half agree, because he’d be here arguing his case all night long. I pull my phone out of my pocket and see it’s nearly midnight. Holy shit, that explains why I’m so tired. I suddenly feel like a complete ass when I realize I’ve kept Mr. Walker up, but then I remember he was already sitting outside when I got here.

  “What were you doing out here on the porch so late at night to begin with?” I ask with my hands placed on my hips. Mr. Walker rolls his eyes and pushes himself out of his chair.

  “Had a feeling you would need me, so I figured I’d save you the time of ringing my damn doorbell.”

  I roll my eyes and laugh skyward. “Right. Of course you did. I’m heading home Arthur. I’ll see you.”