Spin My Love

by Chantal Fernando

  “Giselle, you walked the long way home every day just to spend more time with him,” Gage adds, rubbing his hand over his chin. Gage and Levi were obviously aware that I had been infatuated with their friend, but I don’t think they ever realised just how deep it went between Tane and me. They all treated me like I was way younger than them. Two years wasn’t much—at least, to me—but Tane acted like it was. There was always an emotional connection between us, a cord that tethered us together. We were friends, but I always thought it would turn into more. He had even hinted as much.

  “When you turn eighteen …” He trails off, a hint of colour in his cheeks.

  “What?” I ask, tilting my head to the side. I was fourteen and sitting on the hood of my parents’ car with Tane, just talking, about anything and everything.

  “I’ll take you to one of those parties you’re always begging to come to,” he finally says.

  I pout. “You and Gage go now! And you’re sixteen!”

  “Yes,” he says patiently. “But we’re boys.”

  I gasp. “That’s not fair.”

  “I never said it was,” he replies, grinning.

  “You just don’t want me to go so I don’t see you with Sarah,” I grit out.

  The smile drops from his face. “Who told you about that?”

  “We go to the same school, Tane. What did you think? No one gossips?” I reply, looking away from him.

  “You’re young, Giselle. You don’t need to be talking about these things,” he finally says, reaching over and tugging on my hair.

  “I got asked out on a date,” I announce to annoy him.

  “By who?” he growls.

  “None of your business,” I reply, sliding off the car. “Have fun with Sarah.”

  He slides off and follows me into the house. “Who, Giselle?”

  “Why don’t you worry about your own girlfriend?” I snap, feeling hurt. I hate fighting with him, but the double standards need to stop.

  “She isn’t my girlfriend,” he replies, exasperated.

  “Then what is she?” I ask, turning and staring at him right in the eyes. I want him to admit it, to my face.

  “She’s … someone to keep me occupied until you are old enough.”

  Both of our mouths drop open. He can’t believe he just admitted that, and neither can I.

  “I mean … fuck … I didn’t mean …”

  “You like me,” I announce, my lips curling up.

  Tane sighs. “You know I do, but you aren’t ready, Giselle.”

  “I will be,” I reply. And then I will be all his.

  His lip twitches. “Yes, you will. In a few years.”

  “A few years?” I gape.

  “Tane! We’re going surfing, are you coming?” my brother asks, walking towards us.

  Great timing, Gage.

  Tane nods and they walk off together, but not before he throws me one last pleading look.

  “Leave her alone, Gage,” Levi adds with a chuckle, pulling me back to the present.

  “I wonder what ever happened to him,” Gage muses. I know he’s not referring to his career, which everyone knows about thanks to the media, but why he doesn’t ever catch up with his old friends anymore. Why he left without turning back.

  “Who cares,” I mutter under my breath as I roll the dice, trying to redirect everyone’s attention to the game of Snakes and Ladders we were playing with Justin and Parker.

  “If only Tane saw Giselle now,” Levi says with a sexy half-smile. I inwardly groan. I definitely wasn’t about to tell them that he had seen me, and all I was worth to him was a wham, bam, thank you ma’am. Hell, he didn’t even buy my breakfast. Or talk to me, for that matter. The thought makes me angry. Mostly at myself.

  “Giselle is too smart to get involved with someone like Tane,” Gage says dismissively. That hurts. I shift uncomfortably, squeezing my eyes shut for a second.

  “So where has Keira gone today?” I ask, changing the subject.

  “Out,” Levi says pointedly. That means Keira has found a new boy, but Levi doesn’t want to say in front of Justin, her son.

  “I see,” I say softly. That explains the cleavage and stripper heels.

  “I got a six,” Justin announces happily. He’s such a good kid. He continuously pushes his sandy-blond hair from his face, revealing those big brown eyes. I should tell Keira to get him a haircut, but I can only imagine how she’d take that.

  I watch as Parker slowly moves his counter, thinking no one’s watching. “Parker! That’s cheating,” I say, trying not to laugh. My baby is sneaky. I put on my serious face.

  “You said you have to make your own luck, Mama,” Parker replies. My eyes widen. Damn kid is already using my own words against me.

  “Yes, but when you’re playing a game you can’t cheat. It’s not honourable,” I say sagely. Parker thinks it over, then nods.

  “Knights don’t cheat,” he says, biting his bottom lip. He wants to be a knight when he grows up. I don’t have the heart to tell him he’s a few centuries too late.

  “No, they wouldn’t,” I agree. “So neither should you.” He gives me a nod.

  “How about we all watch a movie?” I ask the boys. They both nod eagerly, so we put on Madagascar, which I know for a fact is Levi’s favourite, although he won’t admit it. The way his eyes light up when the introduction song comes on confirms it. We all squish together on Gage’s soft black couch and watch the movie. I look around, my gaze touching each of the four boys individually. This is my family. Justin and Parker both snuggle into me, and I exhale in contentment.

  *****

  I pull into Keira’s driveway the next evening and park the car. I open Justin’s door and let him out. Parker’s staying another night with Gage and Levi—they insisted I needed a night to myself. They wanted to keep Justin for another night too, but we were unable to contact Keira.

  Keira’s house is enormous. It makes mine look like a shed. After her divorce, she got the house and a huge settlement. I’m not sure about the finer details, but I know her and her ex-husband now can’t stand the sight of each other. He doesn’t come and see Justin at all, just sends money to fulfil his fatherly duties. Like that is supposed to make up for his absence.

  The two-storey house is cream coloured, the roof a rustic brown. The porch itself is the size of my living room, with a dainty table and matching chairs that look completely ornamental. The garden is carefully maintained, and the hedges are the straightest I’ve ever seen. She hires people to do everything for her, of course; nothing is done herself.

  I unbuckle Justin and pull him from his booster seat, lifting him into my arms. “Oh, we almost forgot your new toys, Justin,” I say as I reach into the car and pull out his bags. Levi spoils his nephew as much as he spoils Parker.

  I walk up the familiar path to the double doors, both made of fine wood. I press the bell twice, but after a minute or so there is still no answer. I know Keira is home, because her car is in the driveway along with an unfamiliar black, expensive-looking car. I turn the fancy brass doorknob, to find it unlocked. I glance at my watch; it’s ten minutes past seven. I always drop Justin home around seven, so she should be expecting us. I assume she left the door unlocked for me, so I walk in, and head into the living area.

  I put Justin down, kissing him on the forehead. “Bye Aunt Giselle,” he calls out as he takes the bag from me and heads to his room, no doubt to play with his new toys. I smirk, shaking my head at him. “Keira!” I call out, walking through the lounge room. I hear a noise in the kitchen so I head straight there.

  “Oh my God,” I yell upon entering the room, bringing my hand up to shield my eyes.

  Most people cook in their kitchen. Oh, how I wish she were cooking, because then I wouldn’t see her butt-naked, kissing some guy on her kitchen table.

  “Keira, your son is home! For fuck’s sake,” I yell at her, turning around so I don’t have to see anymore. I hear her mutter a curse, then shuffling. Hopefully t
hey are getting dressed. The woman is unbelievable! She knew Justin was going to be dropped off today.

  “You have a kid?” asks a deep, rumbly voice.

  I tense.

  That voice.

  Surely not …

  I turn around slowly, no longer caring about their nakedness, and look straight into the cold eyes of Tane Miller himself. The man really does get around. My throat burns, and my chest hurts, but I try to school my expression.

  Don’t let him see how much he hurt you.

  He’s leaning against the table lazily, without a care in the world, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. His chest is heaving slightly and I try to push the thought of what the two of them were up to before I arrived aside.

  It makes me feel sick.

  Tane looks more muscular and filled out than when I last saw him. I stop myself right there, not wanting him to see me staring at him, not wanting to notice how good he looks. Keira is quickly dressing herself, with a sour expression on her face. She walks over to me and says in a hushed tone, “Can you keep him tonight, please? It’s Tane Miller!”

  I narrow my eyes at her. I want to say no. I don’t want her to fuck Tane. But he isn’t mine, and I don’t get a say in who and what he does.

  Clearly he isn’t the same person he used to be, and I need to stop forgetting that.

  “Yes. But for the record, you’re a selfish bitch,” I reply loudly. “Have some class, Keira.” Okay, so maybe I’m not one to criticise, considering I slept with Tane literally without one word being spoken, but at least I didn’t have a child to think about at the time.

  I glance at Tane one last time to see his eyes on me, crinkling in thought. He has nothing to say to me? Nothing at all? Fine. Fuck him. I walk out of the kitchen and into Justin’s room. I pack his bag, and take him back home with me, pushing away the pain I feel.

  Tane doesn’t deserve it.

  Chapter Two

  Tane

  I’m leaning against the marble table, staring at the spot that woman just vacated.

  It can’t be … could it?

  It’s those eyes.

  Giselle.

  Hauntingly beautiful, ice-blue eyes.

  Keira turns to me with a huff. Her top is on inside out, but I don’t bother telling her. I want to get out of here, ASAP.

  “Fucking Giselle. She thinks she’s so much better than everyone else.”

  I stand up straight. “Giselle?” I repeat, unable to feign indifference. A bad feeling creeps up my spine. Fuck, it was her. Why did she have to see me like this? And I didn’t even speak to her.

  Regret fills me.

  “Yeah, you were friends with her brother, Gage, weren’t you?” she says as she starts to undress again, obviously wanting to get back to business.

  She looks so different. My Giselle didn’t have any tattoos, her hair was lighter and she was curvier. But those ice blue eyes …

  A memory flashes in my mind, confusing me.

  “Fuck!” I curse. I’d only just gotten back in town, and I didn’t plan on seeing Giselle so soon. I wasn’t ready yet—didn’t want her to see what I’ve become. The man I am now is different from the one she knew. I’ve pretty much avoided everyone I knew from high school, all my old friends, for the last several years. But now she’s already been exposed to this, I can only imagine what she thinks of me. I curse again, and then turn my gaze to Keira.

  I’ve fucked this up so bad.

  She’s leaning against the wall suggestively, but I ignore it. She was just someone to keep me occupied for the night, no commitment or drama, but that sure as hell isn’t happening anymore.

  “How do you know her?” I demand.

  “Giselle? I’m Levi’s older sister. I told you that,” she says. She might have told me, but I sure as hell hadn’t been listening. Levi Black’s sister? Shit. Come to think of it, I had heard rumours about her in high school, and her rep might just be worse than mine. And now she is willing to send her kid away to have sex with me? Because I’m famous? Yes, I heard her comment to Giselle.

  It’s Tane Miller!

  Heaven-fucking-forbid, someone like me for me.

  She puts her hand on my chest, and I flinch. I sure as fuck don’t want her touching me anymore. I push her away and put my clothes back on, only thinking of Giselle.

  Christ. She must be disgusted by me. And she would have every reason to be.

  “Where are you going? We’re not done,” she whines. She tries to pout seductively, but it just looks ridiculous. I ignore her feeble attempts at seduction and concentrate on something else.

  Giselle. I need to talk to her, now. I can’t leave things like this. Better late than never, right?

  “I have somewhere I need to be,” I say. I put my shoes on and walk to the door. I pause with my hand on the doorknob. “Where does your brother live these days?”

  “He has an apartment in Hale,” she says, her fists tightly clenched at her sides, giving away her anger. I’m tempted to ask for the address, but I decide against it. Surely I can figure it out.

  When I open the door I feel her hand on my shoulder, stopping me from leaving.

  “We’re gonna hook up again, right?” she asks, biting her lip.

  I wouldn’t want to give her false hope, so I just mumble a goodbye and walk out.

  *****

  Thanks to social media, it wasn’t hard to get Gage’s phone number. He’d been shocked when I called and that made me feel even worse. Gage and Levi are good people, and we were thick as thieves back in the day. After I left rather suddenly, I turned my back on my old life. I only hope that I can make things right with all of them.

  And Giselle.

  How I’ve missed her over the years. I thought about her constantly, but I was too chicken-shit to reach out. Was she married?

  The thought is like a punch to the gut.

  Besides my mother, I’ve never cared for any girl as I did for Giselle. She’s kind, gentle, and beautiful. At least that’s how I remember her. The fit, tattooed woman I’d seen earlier was a stark contrast to the girl I knew, but she’s still her.

  I knock on the door of apartment number twenty-eight. I run my hand through my hair and take a deep breath. Who knows what kind of reception I will get from Levi. I haven’t seen neither him nor Gage in years. We had been best friends and partners in crime since I can remember. But that was before, and this is now. So much has changed since then.

  The door opens slowly, and I look up into the blue eyes of Gage Reece. A grin is spread across his face, and he pulls me into a brief, tight hug.

  “Tane! Long time, no see, man,” he drawls. Gage looks bigger than I remember. Taller, more toned. More intimidating.

  “I know. How have you been?” I ask.

  “Can’t complain,” he says with a familiar grin. He waves his arm as an invitation for me to enter, so I do. The place is nice, but it’s clear that men live here. There is limited furniture, and pizza boxes litter the kitchen table. Gage opens the fridge and offers me a beer.

  “Nah man, I’m fine.” He shrugs and grabs two.

  Gage leads me into the living area where Levi is lying on the floor on his back, lifting up a little kid in the air with his feet, like a flying airplane. Gage hands Levi a beer when he puts the kid down.

  “Uncle Levi!” The little kid laughs gleefully. Uncle Levi? This must be Keira’s kid; Giselle must have dropped him off here instead.

  “Levi, look who I found,” Gage calls out. Levi tickles the kid a few times before looking up.

  “Damn, man, when Gage told me you’d called I was in shock,” Levi says, standing up so that he could give me a clap on the shoulder. Levi looks a little different; his blond hair is longer, and he too is built bigger. However, his eyes are the same, both gentle and friendly. “Welcome home.”

  “Ummm … thanks,” I mutter ungracefully. I wasn’t expecting this. I don’t know why, but I’d expected them to be angry and demand answers. I mean, I had left. I
’d never sent them so much as a postcard.

  “What brings you back?” Levi asks me. He takes a seat on the couch, so I follow suit and take the seat opposite him. The kid jumps up onto his lap and looks at me curiously, half his face hidden by a mop of black hair.

  “I’m taking a six-month break, so I’ll be home for a while,” I say.

  Both of them grin. “Sounds good, man, we can catch up,” Gage says.

  “You both live here?” I ask them.

  “Yep,” Levi responds.

  “So, what are you guys doing with yourselves these days?” I ask, genuinely curious. I find myself realizing how much I’ve missed these two. It’s not every day you meet friends like them. Hell, I don’t have any friends in my life that I can trust like I can Levi and Gage, even after all this time.

  “We own and run a security business,” Gage says. “Boring compared to you, but it’s doing us good.”

  I laugh. “You’d be surprised. I’m jealous that you get to stay in one place. This break is much needed.”

  The little boy comes and sits next to me, checking me out. I smile when I notice he’s dressed in the same black pyjama pants and white singlet as Gage.

  “Hello,” I tell him, feeling like shit that I was about to bang his mother earlier. Again. Apparently while he was in the house too.

  Fuck, I’m a bad person.

  “Hi, I’m Parker,” he says, extending his hand to me. I take his tiny, chubby hand in mine and shake it.

  “I’m Tane. Nice to meet you.” I feel awkward. I’ve never really spent any time with kids but Parker seems like a cool little guy. Gage and Levi must be good to him, because I don’t imagine his mother is winning any parenting awards.

  When Parker looks up at me, I still. His eyes; pale green. It’s like looking into a mirror. For a moment I wonder whether I have slept with Keira before now. Maybe I didn’t remember? Surely not; Keira would have mentioned it. It hits me how fucked up it is that I have to question whether I’d slept with someone or not. There have been so many women that I might not even remember.

  I’m so messed up.

  “So, how are your families?” I ask, trying to be smooth. Two pairs of eyes snap to mine. I guess that didn’t come out as I’d hoped