Imperfect Love

by Isabella White

  “I’m really sorry. I’m just worried about the risk, and frankly I’d rather risk us having a baby than risk the chance of you getting cancer.”

  Holly swallowed. She didn't like the fact that although he sounded kind of worried, according to him, either her getting pregnant or getting cancer both fell under the 'risk' factor. It seemed like no matter what, she'd be a burden to him. She couldn’t help but wonder if he was even going to be in her future.

  She merely nodded.

  Opting to eat out, they had a nice dinner at a small Italian restaurant, after which Jake took her home. It wasn’t that late, but Jake did want to go over his notes one more time before the next day’s big test. Or, that was just the excuse he chose to use. She hoped it was the truth and not Jake starting to doubt where their relationship was heading.

  She lay in bed, contemplating what would happen next. They’d almost been together for two months. She was starting to worry that he would call things off now that they’d had their first fight.

  On that thought, her phoned beeped. She reached over and picked it from the nightstand.

  Jake: Sleep tight. I’m off to bed now. Sweet dreams. Hope I’m included in them. Love you.

  She froze. Love you. She kept staring at those two words for what seemed like forever.

  Had Jake really just told her he loved her? Her heart ached for him again. In all the time she’d spent with him in bed, he’d never even whispered those words to her softly. Now, after their first real fight, he seemed to have just blurted them out.

  Jake wasn’t someone who threw those words around. Granted, he showed his family and friends how much they meant to them, Holly included. He’d treated her like gold these past two months. Now that he’d said them, all sorts of emotions flooded her mind.

  It went without saying that Jake was gorgeous and seemed to have everything a girl ever dreamed of in a guy, but he was more than that. He was smart, kind, and had an absolutely amazing personality. Holly really didn’t want to see his dark side, if he had one, yet she couldn’t recall Leo speaking ill of Jake in all the time she’d known him.

  The question was, did Holly love him?

  Her thoughts went to the fight they’d had that day. Would she have gone on the pill if his mom hadn’t asked her? This made her think long and hard, and for a long time.

  “No,” she said out loud. It wouldn’t even have bothered her. She did love him, a lot, so much in fact that she was sure if an enraged ex-girlfriend or someone tried to shoot him in the middle of a mall, she would jump in front of that bullet.

  “Fuck!” Holly slapped her hand over her face. A part of her wanted to cry with the realization that she would take a bullet for him.

  By the time Monday came around, Holly had received no messages, which she found a bit weird. She glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed that it was already nine o’clock. She’d been so busy all morning that she’d forgotten to wish Jake good luck. And now it was too late. She figured she would speak to him later in the afternoon when he called her. She was sure he would.

  At around one, her phone finally beeped. She smiled, knowing that she would be able to message him back. She picked up her phone.

  Jake: You’re awfully quiet. Was it because of what I said last night? Two little words?

  It was then that it hit her. She had been in such shock over what he’d said, she never replied. She rushed over to the land line and picked up the earpiece. Thankfully, Marabella didn’t have a problem with Holly calling from work, because she knew Holly wasn’t the babbling type and would be as quick as possible.

  As she’d never called him from work, he wouldn’t recognize the number. She prayed he’d pick up, anyway. He picked up on the fourth ring.

  “Jake,” he answered.

  “I’m sorry,” she blurted. “To be honest, I was a bit shocked last night with your message. I had been struggling to fall asleep, but when your phone beeped and I read your message, it caught me off guard.”

  He laughed. “That’s okay. I won’t hold it against you.”

  “No, it’s not okay. I should’ve replied. I know one thing for sure, Jake. I hate fighting with you.”

  “Bee Puke, that was hardly a fight.”

  She giggled. “Still, I don’t like it.”

  “Yeah, it sucks. Listen, I’m quickly going to see my dad, so I’ll speak to you later, okay?”

  “Sure. How was the test by the way?”

  “Easy as pie.”

  Holly snorted.

  “Bye, Bee Puke,” he said, in a sing-song voice.

  “Okay, love you, bye,” she replied, and put the phone down.

  Only when the connection was broken did she realize what she’d told him; she found herself smiling from ear to ear.

  Marabella walked in and looked at Holly. “So, how is Jake?”

  “He’s good, why?” She frowned.

  “Holly, you only smile like that after you’ve spoken to him.”

  Holly blushed. “Oh. Guess I can’t help it.”

  “You can’t. He sure is able to raise your temperature.”

  Holly grinned and continued doing so until Marabella left.

  At three, she moved over to the restaurant. The receptionist only worked until three, so Holly had agreed to take over, answering calls for general inquiries, as well as noting reservations.

  Marabella had some paperwork to finalize and with all the guests gone, it was a good place to concentrate. She had worked with Marabella in silence on numerous occasions. Besides, they were so much alike that Holly couldn’t envision what her life would be without her in it. Both Marabella and her daughter were more like family to her, not just her employers.

  They chatted a bit more about Jake, and Holly told her about his reaction when she mentioned the pill.

  “Babes, I told you before, when you meet the right one, all morals go out the door.”

  Holly laughed as it kind of rhymed, but it was exactly what she was experiencing.

  “Hello, gorgeous!” Marabella yelled at someone on the verge of entering the restaurant. Probably just Jerry. They had such a sweet relationship. “Talk about the devil, and then you step on his tail. How was your test this morning?”

  Holly almost spat out the juice she’d just taken a sip of. What the hell is Jake doing here?

  “Nice to know you talk about me.”

  Marabella got up and kissed him on both cheeks. She was such a warm person. “Your lovely is right here.”

  “Thanks,” he said, chuckling.

  Holly, too, got up and pecked him on the lips.

  “Marabella is really friendly today.”

  “You’ll get used to her.”

  “I heard that. Can I get you something to drink?” Marabella’s voice came from the bar.

  “I’m good, thanks. I’ve got water.” Jake shook the bottle in his hand. He dropped a brown paper bag onto Holly’s desk.

  “What’s this?” Holly peeked inside and found a circular container holding small, little round tablets. Looking up at him she said, “Well, that was fast.”

  “I’m a fast guy.”

  “What did you tell your dad?”

  He gave her the look. “I’m twenty-seven years old, Holly. Besides, he thought it was very responsible of me.”

  “Well, thanks.” She fluttered her eyelashes at him, making him laugh as it was her idea in the first place to go on the pill, which made him not so responsible at all.

  “I’ve got to go. I still have my license to sort out before they close. Talk to you later.” He kissed her briefly, but managed to nip her bottom lip all the same. It only served to make her stomach tie into a knot. “Bye, Marabella.”

  “Bye now,” Marabella sang back.

  Holly put the bag away, shoving it into her purse, and let out a sigh of relief.

  “I don’t know how you manage to keep your hands off that one, Holly.”

  Holly bust into laughter. “Who says I do?”

  “
Holly Scallanger!” Marabella’s eyes were huge, but winking she said, “I’m so glad to hear that.”

  Both snickered and joked for a couple of minutes, until Marabella went back to sorting out her paperwork. When Holly had a bit of a break, she took a closer look at the object in the paper bag. It was made up of small, red pills. Just one a day and I will be fine, eventually.

  Holly skimmed the leaflet, electing not to read the whole thing. It didn’t take a brain surgeon to remember to take one pill a day. The leaflet said to start a week after her period began, but she figured the sooner she started the better. She popped one out of the container and placed it in her mouth.

  The rest of the week flew by in a whirl. She didn’t know who was more excited about Friday, Jake or her. He’d finally finished with all of his tests, and was officially on vacation.

  She would be able to see him every day now without worrying about his mom being upset. She would also have to fulfill some of her promises as he would be receiving his final results soon, and then it was graduation, vacation, and internship. Holly breathed out a huge breath just thinking about it.

  Every Friday, Holly took a small weekend bag to work; she now spent every weekend at Jake’s. On this particular Friday, from three o’clock to be exact, time seemed to drag. It just didn’t want to reach the five o’clock mark.

  However, she was super excited when Jake showed up early. He looked relieved. She didn’t want to think about next year, though, when he was going to have to work almost the entire week and then their time would be cut tremendously short, as if it wasn’t already. But, it was what she had to get used to. She was dating a doctor-to-be and not just any doctor, but a neurologist.

  At five, they finally made their way out, hopped into his car and took another route back to Jake’s house.

  “Are we going somewhere?”

  “Yes, we need to prepare.”

  “Prepare for what?”

  “You’ll see, it’s going to be fun.”

  “Oh, please, if it’s going to involve guns and paint again, God help you, Jake.”

  Jake started to laugh. “No, I promise it’s not that bad.”

  They stopped in front of a huge gate and once it opened, Jake drove into a complex. The houses within seemed to be more beautiful than the next.

  They drove through another set of gates and approached a huge, gray house. It was nothing like his parents’ place, but it was still huge and modern.

  Jake opened the door for Holly and she climbed out. Her expression was one of curiosity.

  “We are preparing here?”

  “Yes. Follow me,” he requested, his tone serious.

  “For what exactly, Jake?”

  He didn’t reply, but instead led her through the main door. Inside, she found Armand and Robin kneeling in front of a huge coffee table. On it and splayed around it on the ground were rolled out banners. Holly burst out laughing when she saw both her name and Amelia’s written in huge, bold letters.

  “Where’s the glitter?”

  “No glitter.” Robin pouted, looking up.

  Amelia rounded the corner. “Hi, Holly. You ready for tomorrow?”

  “Girl, I’m going to walk circles around you.”

  They both cackled like loons. She motioned for Holly to follow her. On their way to the kitchen, Amelia shouted to the banner makers over her shoulder, “Enjoy!”

  “We’re not helping them?” Holly queried.

  “Holls, we are going to do all the hard work tomorrow. I think it’s only fair they pitch in and do their bit.”

  Amelia set about making cocktails and when she was done she gave Robin, Jake, and Armand theirs before she and Holly sat at her breakfast nook. They chatted about everything.

  Being with Amelia brought back memories, memories Holly had never wanted to remember, and before she knew it she told Amelia about Jamie. She never mentioned the fact that they had been twins, simply because people tended to ask the same stupid questions over and over, like was their bond special, where when the one twin got hurt the other would feel it, or were they identical and so on. She hated the fact that every time she looked in the mirror she would see Jamie. Or what Jamie would look like if she were alive.

  Amelia had tears in her eyes when Holly grew quiet. “I don’t know what it would feel like to lose one of my siblings, just thinking about it…” She shook her head. “I can’t.” She gave Holly a lopsided smile. “Believe me, they are annoying as hell, but to never be able to speak to one of them again is unimaginable. How do you do it?”

  Holly shrugged. “Take it one day at a time, I guess.”

  “Well, you’ve got a bunch of sisters now. Jake just needs to get his shit in gear.”

  They laughed like typical women would.

  “I can’t have babies,” Amelia suddenly blurted.

  “What?”

  Tears pooled in Amelia’s eyes. “It’s true. The doctor gave me the news today. I haven’t even told Armand yet.” She breathed deeply.

  “What did the doctor say, exactly?”

  “He called it premature ovarian failure. My ovaries don’t produce enough eggs, and… ugh! It’s so wrong and unfair.”

  Holly placed her arm around Amelia’s shoulders, hugging her. “You can never lose hope, Amelia. There have been a million cases where women fell pregnant against all odds, and doctors weren’t able to explain how. It’s called a miracle. Just hold on to that.”

  “I am, but to be honest...” she trailed off, letting go of Holly to wipe a tear away. “Look at us, Holly. We’ve been bestowed with so many blessings that I don’t think a miracle will come our way soon.”

  Holly just looked at her kindly. “You’d be surprised at the things that happen daily.”

  “Thanks for doing this with me, by the way. Tomorrow means a lot, and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate the fact that you are willing to take my dad’s place.”

  “I’m doing it for the cause, too. I don’t understand how any woman could do that.”

  “Me, either.”

  Moving the conversation away from the sadness of the one they were having, Holly giggled. “So, your dad really walked two miles in high heels?”

  Amelia threw her head back and abruptly brought it forward again, laughing as doubled over. The sound pierced throughout the entire house. “He dressed up and everything. I have pictures. Wait, you have to see them.” She hopped down from the high chair and ran out of the kitchen, returning a couple of seconds later with a photo album—a scrapbook photo album, and it was done beautifully.

  Amelia showed Holly photos of the fundraiser, which spanned over four years, and laughed at one in particular where her dad had been wearing a sequined dress with the ugliest red shoes she had ever seen.

  They continued in this light, going over photographs and having a few more cocktails, while Amelia paged through albums of their life. She even saw a couple of pictures of Mel, Jake’s previous girlfriend.

  “She’s beautiful,” Holly admitted.

  “She’s an airhead,” Amelia stated, but Holly laughed as Amelia’s expression was silly.

  The night flew by, much like their cocktails. At one point, Holly felt so calm and relaxed, she started singing her special song. Amelia cracked up at Holly’s words, and in a matter of seconds Jake, Robin, and Armand came into the kitchen to see what they were up to.

  “Bee Puke, are you drunk?” Jake asked, grinning wickedly.

  “Nooo. Nope. I’m not,” Holly slurred, whilst waving a finger in front of her and throwing one leg over the other. She fell off the chair.

  Amelia and Holly were beyond help, and their laughter erupted amongst snorts all over again.

  Jake shook his head and picked Holly up off the floor. “I can’t take you anywhere. Tsk, tsk.”

  Armand mimicked Jake, shaking his head at Amelia, but he had a huge grin on his face, too.

  “We needed that.” Holly looked at Jake.

  “Sure you did.” He looke
d at her, eyebrows arched, and that gorgeous grin that revealed his canines giving him away.

  Holly couldn’t stop staring at them.

  “Okay. I’m going to take this one home.” And with that, Jake threw her over his shoulder.

  “Just remember, Holly, we need to be there by eight,” Amelia yelled.

  “Eight is great. Eight is super. Eight is just perfect,” Holly practically sang. This only served to make her giggle uncontrollably, which was soon followed by her passing out on Jake’s shoulder.

  THE SMELL OF ROASTED COFFEE BEANS filled Holly’s nostrils as she lay in bed. Opening her eyes slightly, she found a huge mug in front of her nose, but as soon as she tried to lift up her head, the pain made it ache so much it dropped back down onto the pillow.

  “Yeah. I don’t think cocktails were the way to go.”

  She grunted at Jake’s comment.

  He chuckled close to her ear, nipping her lobe gently. “I’m going to run you a bath,” he whispered.

  When he moved, the bed shook, like she was on a raft in the ocean. Bile rose up in her throat, but she quickly took a sip of coffee to force it back down. It would just be her luck to hurl, right here on Jake’s bed. She laughed at herself as that image jumped into her mind. Very sexy, Holly. Not!

  Jake walked out of the bathroom while the water still ran and handed her two capsules. “For the head.”

  She looked up at him and smiled. “You are my life saver.”

  “I know,” he replied, sounding really pleased with himself when he sat down on the edge of the bed.

  She gulped the tablets down, hoping they would work fast. When she eventually sat up fully, she noticed she was wearing a Van Halen T-shirt, one that was two sizes too big. “And this?” She pulled on the shirt.

  “My mom taught me not to go through a woman’s luggage.”

  “So you decided to dress me in this?”

  “It was that, or butt naked.”

  Holly gave him the puppy dog eye treatment and leaned in for a kiss. He broke away before it got too steamy and led to something more than just kissing, which they really didn’t have time for right then.