Fault Line

by Christa Desir

  Since she ate most of our dinner, she bought me a lemon ice. She took small bites from me as we walked. Her tongue darted out of her mouth, and I distracted myself by reciting names of Olympic swimmers in my head so I didn’t have to tie a coat around my waist to get to the exit. Who knew sharing a tiny wooden spoon could be so frickin’ sexy? She talked me into taking a Motor Safari train ride and nestled beneath my arm as we listened to the corny guided tour of the zoo. I closed my eyes and wished the night would never end.

  5

  “I’m going swimming at the lake,” I told my brother when I found him in his room early the next morning. “Do you wanna come?”

  He looked up from his clarinet. “Is anyone else going?”

  “No. I’m training.” The lake was hard to swim; perfect for intense workouts. The current could be fierce and even after a full summer, the temperature bit into me like an icy dagger. But nothing helped clear my head more.

  He leaned over and placed his clarinet carefully in its case, then set the case on the only empty shelf in his otherwise mess of a room. Michael wasn’t an intentional slob; he just didn’t care enough about neatness to pay attention. “Can I pick the music for the ride there?”

  I released a breath. “Okay. But nothing that’s gonna make me fall asleep. I’m working on about four hours here, shrimp.”

  He grinned. “Yeah. I heard you come in. After curfew. I wanted to talk to you, but I was too tired. Did Dad say anything?”

  “Not really. He smelled my breath and told me to go to bed.”

  The zoo closed at nine, but Ani wanted me to drive her to the city to see some band. After ninety minutes of aimlessly searching for an all-ages club that Ani couldn’t remember the name or address of, we ended up parked in an alley, making out. My lips still buzzed from the taste of her. And I had no idea how she was going to explain the stubble burn on her cheeks to her mom.

  “Guess you had fun, then?” Michael said.

  I ruffled his hair and grabbed him in a headlock. “Guess so.”

  •••

  My body tensed up the minute I entered the water, and I had to take a bunch of short breaths to acclimate to the cold. Michael sat on the cement drop-off playing his handheld game and ignoring the people on the beach fifty feet away. After my body got used to the water, I dove under and held my breath as long as I could.

  When I emerged, I saw Michael had put his game to the side. Relief flashed across his face. He waved and went back to playing. My arms pulled me into an easy freestyle stroke. Two minutes later, I started to really pump. In the water, thoughts passed over me in a way that made me feel invincible. Like everything I worried about was stupid and would work itself out if I just let go.

  Thirty minutes into my swim, my pace was steady, but I could tell from my breathing that I was moving faster than usual. Arms reaching, legs kicking, every pull became a rhythm in my head. Ani. Ani. Ani.

  •••

  “Dude, seriously, if you make me drink again, I’m gonna hurl,” Kevin slurred from across the crappy green card table in his basement. The paneled walls around us were covered with the faded posters of hip-hop stars Kevin had hung when we were in fifth grade. He must have put “Eminem radio” into his playlist because every white-guy rapper I could think of was shuffling through the speakers in the background.

  “You were the one who wanted to play Asshole. If you can’t take the heat, don’t suggest the game,” I said, and gave Ani a grin. Her face flushed and my stomach flipped. It’d been two weeks since the night at the zoo. Two weeks of holding her hand in the hall and making out in my Jeep and texting late at night.

  I’d had a bit of a high at the beginning with Morgan, but with Ani, it was so much more. I’d only ever seen Morgan at parties or when other people were around. She’d liked us to be out together, but I guess I wasn’t interesting enough for her on my own. With Ani, I sort of hated when other people were around because they interfered with our vibe together, interrupted time for me to learn everything about her.

  Friday at lunch, Kevin called me pathetic and demanded I pull out my man card and drink with him or he’d cut me off as a friend. He wouldn’t. We’d known each other for too long and Kevin respected breasts enough not to interfere with a guy’s opportunity to spend time with them. So I compromised and brought Ani with me.

  “I only suggested the game because the guy who told me about it made it seem fun. I thought we’d all take turns and it’d be an excellent drinking game. But, dude, I keep being the asshole, which means I’ve been drinking more and longer than any of you chumps.” Kevin let out a huge burp.

  Ani shook her head and smirked at Kevin. “You’re fine. You obviously are sober enough to complain. I think it’s time for another Social.”

  “Argh,” Kevin mumbled, putting his beer to his lips. “And that’s another thing, how come we’re having so many Socials? Let me win already so I can be president.”

  “No, that’s cheating.” I tried not to laugh. Kevin was never going to be president. As the asshole, he couldn’t stop drinking during the Social until the rest of us stopped. I noticed Ani had pretended to drink a lot during the night, but she was barely swallowing anything. Poor Kevin.

  “I said Social.” Ani banged her hand against the table and we all raised our cans and toasted. I looked at Ani’s friend Kate. Her dark hair was superstraight in the weird way girls make it look like it was ironed. She sipped her drink and scrunched her face. Her skin was starting to look a bit pasty. I hoped it was just the bad fluorescent lighting.

  My eyes rested on Ani. She wasn’t totally wasted, but definitely had a strong buzz going on. I pointed to Kate’s pale face and Ani sprang from her chair, knocking it over and laughing.

  “I think we should be heading home,” she said.

  Crap. I hadn’t meant for her to leave. I’d thought maybe she could help Kate go lie down somewhere.

  “You just got here. We still have at least five beers left,” I protested like some bumbling idiot who’d never had girls over before.

  Why’d she want to take off ? It was fun playing drinking games in Kevin’s basement, and I’d originally hoped Kevin and Kate might get along so Ani and I could have some time by ourselves.

  Too bad Kate took one look at Kevin when he opened the door with a huge flapping wave of his arms and mumbled, “Oh, great, the psycho with the pliers.”

  The guy would never be able to shake that story.

  Kevin had gotten drunk on grape juice and Everclear one night our sophomore year and decided to remove his own braces with his dad’s pliers. I thought it was frickin’ hilarious seeing him walk around with a bunch of wires coming out of his mouth, but the sober people at the party were disgusted, especially when he accidentally pulled out one of his teeth along with the brace.

  Apparently Kevin’s reputation still preceded him, and Kate had slid her chair close to Ani’s when we all sat down to play. It didn’t look like I’d even get to second base with how much the girls were laughing and snorting when they stood up to leave.

  “We got here like four hours ago,” Ani said when she was composed enough to answer me. “And you’ll see me tomorrow at the swim meet.”

  I grinned. I’d never had a girlfriend go to one of my meets before. It wasn’t even a real meet. It was an intersquad preseason competition. Still, I’d been pretty nervous asking Ani, but she’d agreed without bitching or holding it over me. I loved that about her.

  “Aw, you’re going to his swim meet?” Kate said. “That’s so cute. Are you going to hold up a sign that says ‘Number One Beez Fan’?”

  “No,” Ani said through another bout of snorting laughter. “I was thinking something more like ‘Hold On to Your Honey, Here Comes Beez.’”

  Kevin started to laugh. “No. Wait. How about ‘Mind Your Own Beezness’?” He doubled over in hysterics.

&n
bsp; Kate, Ani, and I exchanged looks. Kevin laughed for thirty more seconds while we stared at him. Finally his chuckles died down.

  “That’s not even funny,” Kate deadpanned. “That might be the worst pun ever.” She turned to me. “We need to go. Ani told her mom we’d be home by midnight.” She shifted her focus to Kevin. “Unless you’re thinking of waxing your chest hair or something. Because I’d break curfew for that.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. Obviously Kate wasn’t that wasted if she could still bust Kevin’s balls. Ani snorted again. Kevin opened and closed his mouth three times, but Kate held up her hand.

  “Don’t even try. You’re way too drunk to pull off a good comeback.”

  Kevin looked at me and I shook my head. He loved a challenge, but I didn’t think his alcohol-induced charm would work on Kate.

  “Why don’t I help you get your coats?” I asked. I stood up on wobbly legs and placed my hand against the wall to steady myself.

  “You’re such a charmer, Beez,” Kevin said, and faced the girls. “That’s from his dad’s side.” He burped to emphasize his point. Classy. “Don’t let him fool you. He acts sort of white, but he’s a total Haitian gentleman about shit like holding doors and getting coats.”

  “Don’t be a douche,” I said, shoving Kevin.

  Ani put her hands on her hips and looked me up and down. “Is this offer to help because you’re thinking you might get some?”

  Kevin choked on a sip of beer. I looked at my feet before anyone could see me blush. I liked Ani’s directness, but sometimes she went overboard.

  “Beezus,” she said, and I met her eyes. “I’m kinda tipsy and I bet you taste like the bottom of a garbage can. If you want to feel me up, okay, but you’ll probably mess it up with your drunken gropes, and I wouldn’t say that’s exactly good times, you follow?”

  “I’m not drunk,” I said. Why was I defending myself in front of Kevin and Kate? I looked like a novice who’d never touched a boob before.

  Ani laughed but then took my hand. “Okay, okay, come on.”

  Kevin stood up, teetering like he wasn’t going to be able to take three steps without passing out. I originally thought it was funny we all kept pretending to drink so he’d lose and be the asshole in the game, but I hoped it didn’t mean I was going to be cleaning up his puke and putting him to bed later.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll entertain Kate,” he said.

  She snorted. “How? Is there a set of pliers down here?”

  Ani and I both chuckled. We moved to the bottom of the stairs and Ani did a weird girl signal to Kate that I gathered meant “give us a few minutes.”

  She walked upstairs with me on her heels. I’d never been so into a girl. I reached out to put my hands on her waist but she wiggled away from me.

  “No offense, Romeo, but I don’t want you pulling me down the stairs if you stumble, and I sure as hell don’t feel solid enough on my feet to help keep you steady.”

  My hands dropped. Ani looked back at me and gave me a half smile. My heart squeezed. I was in deep.

  Kevin’s parents had gone away for the weekend and had left him with his older brother, Matt, who’d basically told him he didn’t give a shit what Kevin did, but he better not ruin the house because he was on his own to fix anything he broke. Then Matt headed out the door and Kevin busted into his dad’s beer stash and invited us over.

  Ani led me to the bathroom and rifled through the drawers and cabinets. She finally found a tube of toothpaste and swiped some on her finger, using it to scrub her teeth. She handed the toothpaste to me without a word. I mirrored her movements. Ani’s tongue licked its way across her teeth and I stifled a groan and focused on finger brushing. We both rinsed our mouths with water. She hopped onto the counter and pulled me in between her legs.

  “Okay, that’s better. You can kiss me now.”

  I moved toward her and bumped into her nose because we both tilted in the same direction. Very smooth. She put her hands on my cheeks and tilted me the other way. She tasted like new toothpaste and old beer and I shifted closer to her, my hands fumbling up her sides.

  Ani giggled. “That tickles and I thought I covered how you should wait to touch my boobs until we’re more sober.”

  Ani seemed perfectly sober to me, and even the buzz in my head had pretty much cleared up once I’d kissed her. But there was no sense arguing once she made up her mind. My hands dropped to her waist and she licked my bottom lip. I nipped at her and when she opened her mouth, I stuck my tongue in deep. Her legs linked behind me and I got instantly hard.

  My hands curled into her hips and I kept telling myself not to move them. Ani shifted against me and must have felt me pressed against her thigh because she sort of laugh-snorted. I pulled away and looked down.

  “Sorry, Bumble. I don’t mean to laugh. It’s flattering, really.”

  I was such an ass. I couldn’t even control myself. I might have given up on the whole thing, but I had the liquid confidence of four beers rushing through me, and I wasn’t going to let embarrassment keep me from kissing Ani.

  “I have . . . I’m just . . . I really like you,” I said finally. Sheesh. Frickin’ novice. I scrubbed my hand over my face.

  She ran her hands over my back and pulled me closer into her.

  “You’re shaking,” she whispered, and I looked down at my hands, which were trembling a bit. Probably because they were losing circulation gripping her jeans to keep them from roaming anywhere else.

  “I don’t want to stop,” I said. Kate and Kevin waited for us, probably having an awkward conversation and staring at the basement door, but I didn’t really care. I wanted to inhale Ani. The starkness of the truth sat between us and I wondered if Ani understood all that it meant.

  “Just one more minute,” she answered, and tugged me back into her. The stones from the pendant on her necklace pressed into my chest as she pulled me tighter.

  After too short a time, she stopped me with a little shove to my chest. Her eyes were sort of glassy and she breathed heavily. I hoped it was from the kisses and not the beer.

  She looked me over carefully. “That was sexy. I probably should have let you touch my boobs. Oh well, next time.” She pushed me farther back and hopped off the counter. “I’ve got to go rescue Kate. She’ll never let me hear the end of it in school on Monday if I don’t. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  6

  My eyes scanned the crowd of parents and students for the seventh time in five minutes. Ani wasn’t there yet. Hell. I hoped she wasn’t bailing. I didn’t want to be mad at her. Even if she had a good reason to miss my meet, I’d hold a grudge. I knew myself enough to know that a no-show would bug the crap out of me.

  The speaker buzzed to life behind me and called for my event. I grabbed my goggles and headed toward the edge of the pool. One last look into the stands. Someone was pushing through the last row. Ani. Face flushed, hair falling out of the ponytail she wore. She stood on the top bleacher and lifted a pink neon poster board painted with a giant bumblebee in a swim cap. My face split in half. I waved to her and she dropped the poster and blew me a kiss.

  I almost pretended to grab it out of the air, but I stopped myself. Yes. I was that close to having my man card revoked. I waved again and adjusted the goggles onto my eyes. My heart was pumping harder than it had at last year’s regionals.

  The starter buzzed and I dove into the pool like I was flying. My arms and legs moved in sync with the drumming of my chest and before I could even think about the swimmers in the other lanes, I was being pulled from the water and slapped on the back. Cheers from the crowd roared in my ears.

  The coach’s enthusiastic shouts passed through me. My gaze moved to Ani, dancing on the bleacher, clapping and smiling at me. She did a mock salute and winked at me. Coach continued his cheerful monologue. I looked at the scoreboard on
the wall and blinked, rubbed my eyes, looked again. I’d just beat the school record for the fifty-meter freestyle.

  Gazing back at Ani, I held a finger up and mouthed the words “Wait for me.”

  She nodded and mouthed back, “Always.”

  •••

  “Guess who?” I said, sneaking up behind Ani in the art room after swim practice a week later.

  “Um, let me think . . . is it the dork I’m dating, who thinks Guess Who games are still cute?”

  I dropped my hands and stepped away from her. She was right. What the hell was going on with me?

  “Aw, Bumble, your feelings are hurt,” she said, taking my hand. “I didn’t mean to call you a dork. Lots of people still play Guess Who. I totally saw someone doing it last week at the library during Toddler Story Time.” She giggled and snaked her arms around my neck.

  I shook her off and took a step back. I tried to keep my face stony, but Ani pouted and tugged on my ears so I gave up and laughed at myself.

  “What are you working on?” I asked, pointing to the painting behind her.

  “Do you like it?” she said, and beamed at me. She was like a proud little girl showing off her new purple Rollerblades. Frickin’ adorable.

  I studied the painting, tilting my head to both sides. “It’s not bad, but I think your mom is a bit meatier than that.”

  Her painting was of a skeletal woman with crazy curly hair and dark, deep-set eyes. A large necklace of handcuffs circled her throat and a cigarette was dangling from her mouth, the smoke pouring through her ears and nose.

  “Very funny,” she said, and shifted the painting to the corner before covering it carefully with a cloth.

  “The handcuff necklace is kind of interesting. Maybe you could start making those instead of the trees?”

  She fingered the pendant on her neck. Green today. “Might be kind of bulky. And doesn’t exactly send the same message.”