Forgiven

by Vanessa Miller

  As far as JT knew, Max had always been faithful to his wife, so he’d never experienced the awful pain of looking into the eyes of the woman he loved and seeing disappointment and mistrust. He hoped that Max would always be able to laugh about things like this, and that he would never know pain so deep that funny just wasn’t funny anymore.

  Twenty

  Diane picked up the phone and dialed JT’s house. She waited until Cassandra answered the phone and then the heavy breathing started.

  “Who is this?” she heard Cassandra ask.

  Diane didn’t answer, she just kept breathing until Cassandra slammed the phone in her ear. Diane hit the end button on her house phone, then leaned back against her comfy pillow in her king size bed and laughed her head off. Since she’d been back home, Diane had made it her business to call Cassandra twice a week. She wasn’t checking in on Lily or asking for visitation. No, Diane just called and breathed into the phone. She figured that would good and irritate the Queen of Thomas Manor. Since they had a block on their house phone and all their calls appeared as private in the caller ID, she could harass Cassandra as much as she wanted.

  Cassandra thought she was so perfect. Well, Diane couldn’t wait until they went to court for their custody hearing and Ms. Perfect had to sit there and listen to her own mother tell the judge how unfit she really was. She rolled her eyes as she sat up on the side of the bed. Enough about Cassandra; Diana needed to get up and do some work around the house before she left for her appointment.

  She scrolled down the contact list in her cell phone and pressed the button that connected her with the love of her life. When Brian Johnson answered the phone she said, “Are you still mad at me?”

  “What do you think?” he said and then hung up the phone.

  She dialed him right back, and this time when he answered, she hurriedly said, “Baby, please don’t hang up. I really need to talk to you.”

  “So talk,” Brian said.

  His anger crossed the line loud and clear to her, but she had to make him listen. “I’ve been trying to talk to you all week, but you keep hanging up. I know that you moved back here last week, but you didn’t even call me.”

  “What was I suppose to do, Diane? Ask your husband to pass you the phone so I could tell you what’s new in my life?”

  “It’s not even like that with me and Joe. We’re more like roommates,” she told him as she bent down and picked up the boxers Joe had discarded before climbing into bed last night. “He sleeps downstairs and I sleep upstairs. We’re just trying to do the right thing for our children.”

  Brian harrumphed.

  “What’s that noise all about?” Diane asked.

  “You know what it’s about. You tell Joe I said, he might want to get a DNA test to find out if the kids you stuck him with really are his,” Brian said, just before hanging up in her face again.

  Diane didn’t understand Brian at all. He was the one who had convinced her that Lily was JT’s kid in the first place. But she wasn’t going to stand around worrying about Brian Johnson all day long. She would have him back in her arms soon enough. Right now she had to clean the house and then go to her custody hearing. She couldn’t wait to see the expressions on JT’s and Cassandra’s faces when they realized what was about to happen to them. She was actually giddy with anticipation.

  ***

  As Cassandra slammed down the phone in the face of her prank caller she realized something pretty wonderful and it made her smile. A couple weeks ago when she’d answered her phone and a breather was on the line she’d had a panic attack. With all the money she’d wasted on her lousy therapist, who’d tried to convince her that she was having panic attacks because she was angry… she’d discovered that her panic attacks were because of fear. She’d prayed that weekend for God to release the fear from her heart, and even with all the drama she’d endured since that weekend, she hadn’t had a single panic attack.

  She wanted to call JT and tell him that she had made progress. That even though some woman; most likely Diane, Cassandra thought, was calling their house doing all this heavy breathing, she didn’t immediately jump to thoughts of adultery. But she couldn’t call JT, because even though she wasn’t having panic attacks anymore, she was now having mad-black-woman attacks. She wanted to throw something at his head each time he walked through the door.

  She had come back to her husband because she believed in her heart that he had changed. And she still believed that today. The problem was that the circumstances around him hadn’t changed. He’d still hurt and misused people in the past, and it seemed like they were all trying to get back at him now. Meanwhile, JT was busy trying to make things right with the people he had hurt, but was somehow making things all wrong at home in the process. Cassandra still didn’t understand why he couldn’t borrow the money he owed Lamont and get them out of this jam. But no, all of a sudden JT was Mr. Do-The-Right-Thing. As far as Cassandra was concerned, JT picked the wrong time to have a conscience. She wanted her family spared the humiliation of going to court over her husband manipulating women into having sex with him.

  As she sat down on the edge of her bed, the smile was gone from her face. Fresh tears now filled her eyes and threatened to spill over. There were days when Cassandra wanted to pack her bags and leave. Then, other days she wanted to forget about everything that was going on and just enjoy her husband. Then JT walked through the door, she saw his face, and instead of running into his arms, her mind put a choke hold on her heart as it remembered the anger she felt at having to go to court over custody for a child she loved, but wished didn’t belong to Diane Benson. This other court case concerning JT’s womanizing wasn’t making her feel any better towards him either.

  For the second time that week, Cassandra wanted her mommy. She and Mattie hadn’t talked in three weeks and she truly missed her mother’s companionship. Cassandra hoped that her mother had cooled down enough to talk to her, because she really needed a friend right now.

  She picked up the phone and dialed Mattie. It rang five times and then her answering machine picked up. Cassandra almost hung up, but then she decided to leave a message. “Hey, Mom, I was just calling to check on you. I hope you’re not over there eating a bunch of fried foods. You know you’re not supposed to have all that grease with your high blood pressure.” The line beeped letting her know she had used up all her message space, so she hung up, grabbed her purse and key, then put the kids in the car. She was headed to Lily’s custody hearing. JT was going to meet her there, so she dropped the kids off at Ms. Shirley’s and headed to the courthouse.

  Cassandra would be so happy when this was all over. Just when things had started to turn around for her and JT, she was back to having this love/hate relationship. In her heart Cassandra knew that Diane had orchestrated this other case against JT just so she could win the custody battle. And now she and her children would suffer so Diane could settle a score that she should never have had to settle in the first place. If JT hadn’t been sleeping around, none of this would be happening to her. That’s why Cassandra was barely speaking to her husband now. She blamed him for this nightmare she was enduring and she wouldn’t be able to think about repairing her relationship until the judge ruled in their favor.

  “Please, Lord, let him rule in our favor.” Lily had become a part of her. If they lost her, Cassandra knew it would be like when they lost their first daughter. She didn’t know if she and JT would be able to bounce back from another blow like that. They had barely recovered from the loss of Sarah.

  When she arrived at the courthouse, Cassandra parked her car and walked into the building. Cassandra thought fear would grip her and that she would have a panic attack the moment she opened the door. But she was surprisingly calm as she walked to Courtroom B. She smiled as she remembered all that praying she had done last night. She might be afraid of the outcome of their custody battle, but God had eased her fears; He had been doing that a lot for her lately. Even through this whole ordeal o
f JT being accused of manipulating women into having sex with him and listening to her husband admit that he had manipulated Margie, Cassandra might have been angry, but she hadn’t lost control of her emotions enough to go into one of those awful panic attacks.

  Rounding the corner, Cassandra saw her mother seated in a chair outside of Courtroom B. She rushed over to her and said, “Hey, did you get my message?”

  Mattie didn’t look up. She pretended to be searching for something in her purse. “I didn’t get no message from you, Cassandra Ann. The last time I talked to you, I was told not to come near your house again.”

  Cassandra sat down next to Mattie and put her arm around her shoulder. “I know, Mom. But I’ve missed you. I wanted to talk to you so bad these last few weeks. But I didn’t know how you would respond to me. Can we please work something out?”

  Mattie did look at Cassandra now. Her gaze was hard as she said, “You miss me, huh? Is that man of yours cattin’ around again?”

  Cassandra stood up. “Mother, that’s uncalled for. Can you please try to be reasonable? I miss you, Mother.” Cassandra put her hand on her chest as she continued, “Me, your daughter. I want a relationship with you.”

  Before Mattie could respond, JT came around the corner with their attorney, Tom Albright. “Get away from her, Cassandra,” JT said.

  Cassandra looked to her husband and then back at her mother with an apologetic look on her face. She didn’t care what problems they had with her mother, she could not tolerate JT thinking that he could turn her against her own mother. She was about to let him have it when he said, “Tom got the updated witness list this morning. Your mother is testifying for Diane.”

  “That’s not true,” was all Cassandra could say. Then she turned back to her mother with a questioning look. “What are you doing here? I didn’t tell you I was coming here when I left the message on your answering machine.”

  The door to Courtroom B opened and they were ushered into the room. JT grabbed hold of Cassandra’s arm and moved her away from Mattie so they could take their seats in the plaintiff chairs. “What’s going on, JT?” she asked when they were seated.

  “I have no idea. Mattie’s name had been added to the witness list about two weeks ago, but Tom didn’t get an updated version until this morning.”

  Diane and Joe walked in with their attorney and sat down in the defendant’s seats. Cassandra saw Diane swivel around in her seat and smile at Mattie. Cassandra stood up. JT tried grabbing her arm to get her to sit back down since the Judge was now being seated. But Cassandra brushed him off. As the bailiff was asking everyone to rise, Cassandra walked over to her mother and said, “I want to know what’s going on.”

  Mattie didn’t respond. The bailiff was trying to provide instructions about their case when Cassandra yelled, “Why are you doing this? What earthly reason could you have for being Diane’s witness?”

  The bailiff walked over to Cassandra and said, “Ma’am, if you don’t sit down, you will have to leave the room.”

  Cassandra looked at the bailiff. She wanted to tell him that under normal circumstances she would never disrupt any type of proceeding. But her mother was here and she was a witness for the defense. Instead of going into her sorrows, Cassandra turned away from them and sat back down next to JT.

  He grabbed her hand and held onto it tightly. “Don’t worry, Sanni. God is on our side.”

  She closed her eyes and massaged her temples with her free hand. She hoped and prayed that JT was right. She was sick and tired of people betraying her and getting away with it. She silently prayed, Lord, Your word says that you will condemn every tongue that rises up against us. So, I need you to do something with all these flapping lips today.

  Twenty-One

  Mattie sat comfortably in the witness chair answering Luke Watson’s questions. Cassandra was barely able to stay in her seat when Mattie told the judge that JT treats the children differently. That he separates them from each other. Mattie went so far as to tell the judge that when she offered to watch Lily, JT told her that Lily didn’t need the special attention and love that a grandmother could give.

  JT leaned over to Tom and said, “That’s not true. She refused to watch Lily. She kept calling her illegitimate.”

  Cassandra glared at her mother as she heard the attorney ask, “And how does your daughter treat her two young sons?”

  “Oh, like gold. There’s not a thing those boys want that Cassandra don’t see that they get it,” Mattie said.

  “And how does she treat Lily,” Luke asked.

  “Now that’s a different story,” Mattie said with a sad expression on her face.

  “How different,” Luke wanted to know.

  “Well, I’ve seen her leave Lily in wet diapers for hours. And if Lily cries too long, Cassandra has slapped that poor little baby on them fat legs of hers.”

  “That’s a lie,” Cassandra said as she bounded out of her seat.

  JT pulled her back down and whispered in her ear. “Calm down, Sanni. This is what they want you to do.”

  She heard JT, and she understood exactly why he wanted her to calm down, but that was her mother on that witness stand. She knew her mother didn’t want her to be a mother to Lily, but Cassandra never imagined that she would lie to get Lily away from them.

  Luke asked, “Why do you think your daughter treats Lily in this manner if she is such a good mother to her two boys?”

  “You see, it’s like this,” Mattie began. “Cassandra is a good person, but you can only take so much from a cheat around, no good husband like the one she’s got. She has told JT time and time again that he has to take care of Lily. But he’s too busy running after other women to come home and see about his own child.”

  “In your opinion, who would be the better mother to Lily? Mrs. Diane Benson or your daughter, Cassandra Thomas?”

  Mattie looked as if she was mulling the question over and then said, “Diane might be trash, but she’s Lily’s mother. And while Cassandra may be a good person, she shouldn’t have to raise another woman’s child. That’s how children get mistreated and end up dead.”

  Cassandra exploded. She jumped from her seat and started screaming at Mattie. “How could you? How could you? I will never forgive you. Do you hear me? I am done with you. I don’t even know who you are.”

  JT tried to put Cassandra back in her seat, but there was no doing. She was outraged and would not be denied this tirade.

  The bailiff and security guard grabbed Cassandra as the judge said, “That’s it, ma’am. You’re out of here.”

  “Take your hands off my wife,” JT said as he grabbed Cassandra, pulling her away from the security guard.

  “Why is she doing this? Why?” Cassandra screamed as she started gasping for breath.

  “Don’t panic, Sanni,” JT said as he held onto her.

  “Sir, we need you to let her go, or we’ll have to remove both of you,” the bailiff told JT.

  “She’s having a panic attack. Leave us alone!” JT yelled at the bailiff.

  Tom grabbed JT and said in a low voice, “They’re not going to hurt her, JT. They’re just going to give her a seat out in the hall. Please sit back down, so you won’t get thrown out as well.”

  “I can’t leave her like this. She’s struggling to breathe.”

  The judge brought the gavel down and said, “Ten minute recess.”

  JT sat Cassandra down and whispered in her ear, “Remember what I told you, Sanni. You can conquer this. Just trust God.”

  She leaned her head down between her legs and tried to calm herself. “Lord… help… me,” Cassandra said between breaths. She knew people were staring at her, but she couldn’t help herself.

  “What’s wrong with her?” Mattie asked as she walked passed them.

  “What do you care?” JT answered Mattie with scorn in his eyes.

  “I care. I’m her mother.” Mattie walked to the side of the table closest to Cassandra and started calling her name. “Ca
ssandra, Cassandra!”

  Her breathing was normalizing. Cassandra lifted her head, stared at her mother with contempt as she said, “Get away from me!”

  The bailiff stepped up and told JT, “Your wife needs to leave the courtroom. If you won’t let me take her out, both of you need to go.”

  JT stood up and started gathering his note pad and pieces of paper he’d scribbled notes on.

  Cassandra grabbed JT’s arm. She was ashamed of the way she had freaked out. She knew that at least one of them needed to remain in the courtroom and fight for Lily. Tears were streaming down her face, but she managed to say, “Sit back down, JT.”

  With his papers in his briefcase, he grabbed Cassandra’s hand and stood her up. “Come on, Sanni, Tom can handle this without us for today.”

  She snatched her hand out of his. “No, JT. You stay here and fight for our baby.”

  “Are you sure, Sanni? I don’t want you by yourself while you’re this upset.”

  Cassandra regained as much of her composure as possible and then said, “I’ll be all right. Lily needs you more than I do right now.”

  Mattie was still standing by Cassandra’s side. She put her hand on her daughter’s shoulder and asked, “Do you need me to sit with you?”

  “I want you to get away from me.” Cassandra removed her mother’s hand from her shoulder and walked out of the courtroom without looking back.

  ***

  As Tom got for up the cross-examination, JT could tell that Mattie had been shaken by Cassandra’s outburst. But she recovered well enough by the time Tom asked his first question. “So, Ms. Daniels, you don’t like your son-in-law very much do you?”

  “Nope,” she answered without giving it a second thought.

  “Why not?” Tom prodded.

  “For one thing, he’s a dirty no good cheat. I didn’t like him way before he started pushing up on all the sisters in church.”